This troper has a friend who, when he needs to take a leak, says "Bob needs to cry." Heh heh.

This troper, when he was about seven, often said "What the gravy?" I think this had something to do with me first hearing someone exclaim "Good gravy!" Nowadays, I prefer to use typical euphemisms.

This troper uses "Holy guacamole!", "*honk*" (in text only), "Jesus tap-dancing H. Christ on a unicycle!", "Christ on a bike", and many others she can't even think of right now. Likewise, her father uses "ridiculhorse".

'Pull off a donkey', 'It got jammed', 'Making the bald one vomit', 'Replacing ''it'' with the wrong battery'. To be honest I have no idea what they are supposed to mean, except for the 'bald' one. Bonus points if anyone else gets that one ;)

Mr. Clean in a Tilt-A-Whirl?

'Gloating', 'tainting', 'diving'... all of them are euphemisms for sex in my area. 'Eating strawberries with whipcream' is an euphemism for... well, you know. The funny thing is that 'banging' is an euphemism for stealing.

In this tropers middle school "pulling a Medley" meant masturbating in reference to a student who was well known for the amount of porn he watched.

This troper has unusual eupehemisms for swear words around those who are offended by them. The first thing that comes to mind is what goes. Shouting "Holy motherfrankfurter mustard!" gets some odd looks. Also, jumping on a trampoline for sex. Disturbing when the little kids go jump on the trampoline with friends...

At this troper's high school, "studying psychology" means sex. There's an English teacher who always does a lesson on subtext, in which he tells about how when he was in high school, there was a girl who kept trying to get him to come over to her house to study for a psychology test, hinting about how her parents were out of town. It flew straight over his head, and it only hit him a month later what he had passed up.

When me and my GF are IMing, we use Taco for, figure it out yourself. She likes when I hold her Taco.

This troper's freshman social studies teacher called sex "flendigerdering"

Between this troper and her best friend, "climbing a tree" means having sex. Particularly disturbing because this troper used to quite like climbing trees...

Are you saying you don't like sex, because you may be doing something wrong.

Do not make this troper defend the first troper and himself for prefering chastity, you sockplucker!

If you can't enjoy sex, maybe its because you are of a particularly religious family, or, like in Xanth, the sight of underwear makes you freeze up.

Or because you're a perfectly normal person who happens to not like sex.

You'd think that on TV Tropes of all places someone would mention the obvious: {{asexuality}}, dude.

Asexuality and not enjoying sex are not the same thing. Look it up before you make assumptions.

''That'' brings a whole new dimension to "We're here to climb this tree."

This troper thinks that the first troper meant that he used to like to go to the park, find a tree, and try to get to the top of it, the more common meaning of "climbing trees", and that it's bothered him that now, since he liked climbing trees, it becomes an innuendo, a double entendre, or whathaveyou. It's not that he doesn't like sex, but that he doesn't like that the thing he did before that had nothing to do with sex now reminds him of it.Just a wild guess though.

Well, its better than a Rusty Venture...

Reversal: A friend of mine would consistently use Penis instead of dick as an insult: "He's such a Penis!" It was very surreal for this troper.

This also results in words like "recockulous."

This troper's favorite: "''Mother of pearl''"!

...and did not see the example above.

A few kids in this troper's school have taken to using vocabulary words as expletives. Highlights include "What the fluctuate?" and "Scruple you!"

Your school is officially the best school ever.

My friends use "bucolic" as a euphemism for "fuck" or "shit" or something similar.

Physics classes at my school spawned "Watt the flux?". It's on t-shirts.

This troper uses "schmuzz" when he makes a mistake or fumbles.

This troper's friends often use "playing checkers" as a euphemism for sex. Nobody can ever suggest such a game without hilarity ensuing.

"Hey, wanna play checkers?" "Nah, I'm not that good at it, I can only ever get one king to play with." "Well how about chess?" "Nah, I can never get a check".

This editor likes to use "Oh, biscuits." It's become somewhat of a catchphrase for me.

Sceb?

This troper's entire high school is full of these. Two favorites being "Bob Sagget!" and "redonkulous". Oh, and "Joseph Smith!"

Said high school's honors English teacher also invented the word "yerf", for use as a replacement of ''any'' word in the English language. It did not take long for "Up yerf!" and "Yerf you!" to become popular.

Similarly, this troper's Latin teacher used a method where each unknown word in a sentence was replaced with 'Smurf'. Hilarity ensued, of course.

This troper invented the similar word Flurgalschnag after nearly dropping an F bomb when a priest/latin teacher gave him back a quiz with a failing grade. He regularly calls his friend who got a kick out of it a Flurgalschnag as both an insult and a term of endearment (on a side note: Yerf and Flurgalschnag are both antonyms and synonyms at the same time).

This troper doesn't like swearing, so she has fun collecting the Swear Words That Aren't. Among those in her repertoire are wretch, villain, cad, and cheechako. She also called her computer an "item of questionable parentage" when it froze up on her.

Those aren't euphemisms, those are {{Expospeak Gag}}s, but still good.

What about jackanapes?

Ooh, say "jackanapes" again!

Some of this troper's friends were talking about sex while there were young children about. Interested in continuing their conversation, but not in corrupting the youth, they decided to use the euphemism "puppies." This led to a particularly interesting situation later on. One of the people involved in the conversation was saying "I thought everyone'd had a puppy by the time they were eighteen" when another friend, who hadn't been involved in the prior conversation, walked up. Unaware of the euphemism, the newcomer responded "I'm allergic to puppies." She was confused as to why people burst out laughing.

Something similar happened to the troper, thanks to Obfuscating Innocence. She was an eighth-grader, in a math class of sophomores. They were talking about some literature thing, and they said the Devil's... and I put in cat. After that, cat become synonymous with dick. After that, I would not shut about how ADORABLE and CUDDLY cats and baby kittens were, and how I WISHED I could have a cat of my own, and how it was too bad that my mom was allergic to cats, thanks to the spit they washed themselves with dried on their fur becoming allergic. Their reactions were hilarious.

This troper is a total nerd and she makes up Replacement Swear Words using comic book villains' names. Her current favorites being: "Great Blastaar!", "Holy Fin Fang Foom!", and "Son of the Joker!"/"Son of Orihime !", as well as using "Inoue Orihime" as a stand-in for "female dog". Saying "Stop being such an Orihime!" to somebody is fun.

As well as occasionally "Holy sardines, Batman!" if I'm feeling particularly nostalgic.

I've also inspired a friend of mine to do this too. "OH MY GAZERBEAM!"

This troper ''loves'' this... "Oh foop.", "Blarglefraggle!", "GAHBUNGAH!!!", and "7!" to name a few.

A guy in a Latin class this troper once took used "fluctibus", a form of the Latin word for "wave" (as in, waves in the ocean) as a stand-in for "fuck" in various situations; the usage spread through the rest of the class's members pretty quickly (including this troper).

Speaking of Latin varieties, this tropers Latin class now uses "facit" instead of fuck. It doesn't help that it means "doing *insert some verb here*"...

This troper's younger sister uses "cheese snot" as minor epithet. It's great fun to say, and has spread through this troper's friends like wildfire. We have in return inflicted her with the UnusualEuphemism "sad panda." It makes sense to US, anyway.

This troper, who is a bit sensitive about using {{God}}'s name in vain, typically substitutes "Goddammit" with "gahdammit" and "g'dammit," though those two end up sounding almost the same anyway.

This troper's religious father has been known to use "God bless it!" during times of extreme emotional turmoil.

This troper and his friends tend to yell "Eggs!" and this troper himself substitutes whatever he was talking about last, leading to at least one "Son of a Zoidberg".

This troper was chastized that, if I truly was an atheist, then I shouldn't say "Jesus Christ" or any other blasphemous language (I tried to argue that to me it wasn't blasphemous to me, but conceded the point that I didn't want to refer to something I don't believe in). As such, being a huge Aztec nerd, I now swear by their deities. This has led to such interesting cries as "Sweet Huitzilopochtli!" or "By Tezcatlipoca's charred, exposed fibulae!"

Similar case for this troper- when she was twelve, she was nuts over Egyptian mythology, leading to the phrases, "Oh for the love of Ra!" and "Oh my Hathor!" It briefly caught on with her friend, and for the last two months of the school year, those were the only swears they used- even at home, and the more religious students were satisfied... Good times, good times...

Have you ever used "Aw, ''Set''", "Holy Set!", or "We're in for Set now"?

This was actually encouraged by my grade nine English teacher, although it was for Greek mythology. We all did it for about two weeks, and sometimes occasionally after.

This troper does the same, only with gods she's ''invented.'' Moments of extreme irritation are frequently met with an invocation of the Mother Of Wolves, or the extremely sinister (if only to me) "May Laughs With Teeth watch over you."

This Troper, in a similar vein, only swears by ''fictional'' deities, primarily Primus, Arceus, and Din, although Rao slips in occasionally, usually in the expression "Sweet merciful Rao!" Needless to say, most people have ''no'' idea what he's talking about.

This troper has also been known to use "Sweet merciful Rao!", as well as "Holy Rao/Krypton!"

This troper has no trouble of his atheism in his native language, since it contains very few explicitly religious expletives, but in English he enjoys saying "For Cthulhu's sake!" and "For the love of Eris!", to suit his fandom of H.P. Lovecraft and membership of the Discordian cabal (it's perfectly possible to be atheist and Discordian at the same time).

This Troper uses the Norse Gods to swear. His favorites are 'Thor's Hammer' and 'Odin's Eye'.

This troper prefers not to discriminate among deities: "Oh for the love of Generic Religious figure number 27." Or, he'll use any of the above. (expect the Aztec gods - just too much of a mouthful.)

This troper tends to swear by Lilith's heart-shaped ass. When he's really annoyed, he swears by Shabranigdo's balls.

This troper enjoys using "son of a Kroot".

Probably because you are a thick-skulled son of a Ork.

This Troper often uses the phrases "Blething Fesk", "Oh Carp" or "Gorbachev".

This troper, who lives on the Western side of the Atlantic, generally uses Bloody instead of Fucking. He also uses the phrase Son of a Shepherd.

This troper occasionally says "Son of a mother!," which is sort of cool if you don't think too hard about it.

Actually, this is quite common in Brazil. Insult Backfires ensue.

"Oh, fruit" is this one's all-purpose expletive. For years and years, her peers have been giving her the MisplacedKindergartenTeacher talk about how "it's okay to use ''big'' people's words!", but I maintain the right to control my own vocabulary, and use this particular word for nostalgia's sake (although I tend to present it as Mysterious Personal Reasons to get them off me).

"OH MY ARCEUS" is one of this troper's favorite sayings, along with "Sweet PokeJesus, I'm *insert bizarre action here* !"

This troper will sometimes say "Fudge!" As a curse. If something happens soon after to warrant another curse, then "Double Fudge!" If something happens right after that in sequence, then I utter an angry "Double Fudge Sundae!" In crescendo.

And this troper! Although its more of a 'FFFFFFFFFFFU- *sees non-swearing friend* -udge...' *innocent face*

This troper's heard "Oh, fudgie" which she finds pretty cute.

This troper prefers using radishes to profanities. Such phrases are : "Ravishing Radishes!", "Oh Radish!" and "Stop Horse Radishing me!"

This troper does that too, occasionally modifying it to "flying French hell." Nothing against the people, the country, the culture, or the language, but ya gotta admit it sounds good in there.

Really? I usually use "rat" for that middle word. Why the flying rat hell would I do that? Dunno.

Another one who uses "French Hell", though I only use it after "what in the". I also occasionally use "Epic Monkey" in place of "God", after seeing such a creature in {{Spore}}.

As in the food related examples above, this troper uses "Fudge" instead of a ClusterFBomb. This troper has also managed to replace ''every'' single curse word he knows with a food item. "You Meltedfudger! I'm going to kick your peach and yogurt on your face! You fudging berry! For Meltedfudging Dog's sake! (Dog is God backwards)." This relieves anger, confuses people, and can be screamed in public with only puzzled faces for a consequence.

This troper has once said "Pantomime!" No, I'm not sure why. Generally, I tend to use "fenêtre" quite often: it starts out with an F, which is always good, and it ends with a French R, which is amusingly harsh.

troper uses "in Legion's name"/"in the name of the Legion" etc. quite often (as in "What in the name of the Legion are you doing?". The Legion in question is ofcourse the Burning one. He also uses "Fhtang!" as an expletive (taken from the webcomic Unspeakable Vault of Doom). One of his friends in higschool had the habit of using "cleaning up" as an euphenism for "having sex". It made sense in the contex

This troper has taken to saying "By Crom!" when taken by surprise, or by soemthing really cool, or even as a general threat. (I.e., "By Crom, that was a kickass movie!" "May Crom strike you down!") He has also started using "Vin Diesal Jesus" after reading about it in the webcomic Cordeval. (Sweet Vin Diesal Jesus!)

This (other) troper sometimes prays to Crom.

This troper's friend REFUSES to use any swear words to the point of going "PROFANITY" every time ''other'' people use them . Thus, we have some very interesting phrases like "You bottomfeeder!" and "Oh, poopsicles". He also considers 'damn' and stuff like that to be swear words.

This troper used to be like that. Let me know where he lives so I can give him a good bitchslap. Back on topic, my favorite swear is "damnski". The term "smoth" has also entered my vocabulary via a friend. Used when someone fails something horribly. Rhymes with sloth.

This troper's brother likes to say "''area''" for both male and female genitals. It works pretty well, actually, being neither crude nor, exactly, inaccurate.

Is it possible anymore to say "anatomy" and not have it taken to mean "male bits"?

Is it possible any more to say "area" and not have it taken to mean David Bowie's?

Is it possible for something to be exactly inaccurate?

This troper prefers the phrase "where it counts".

This troper and her friends get creative with this sometimes. Favorites include "Jesus Christ wearing a propeller hat on a pogo stick!", "I swear by my mother's solid gold waffle iron...", and "Oh, sausages".

"OH SWEET JESUS BEAMS." Yes, I really do say that.

Similarly, This troper uses replaces "God" and "Jesus" with "[[spoiler:Joshua]]"

Thanks to you, this troper's brother now says it.

This troper likes to say "Sweet X Jesus" where X can be anything from Buttery and Zombie to Rock 'n' Roll, Tapdancing and Laser-Blsatin'. Optionally, "on a pogo stick", "on a cracker" and other such things may be added. They're practically Jesus-Madlibs.

After watching ''North and South'', this troper has taken to occasionally using "Bent" as an all purpose insult. (For those who haven't seen it, Bent is a textbook example of {{The Neidermeyer}} with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. The scene where Orry and George get Bent expelled from West Point is very satisfying for this troper's mother.)

It helps that "Get bent!" is actually a British phrase essentially meaning "Go fuck yourself."

This troper coined "arsecandles". Think about it.

This troper is probably not the only one to take the name of Schrute in vain, but it makes a particularly satisfying euphemism for numerous other vulgarities beginning with 's'. Or even as an all purpose censor bleep. Similarly, for multi-syllable imprompu substitutes, Ianto Jones gets the job done just fine.

This troper uses "Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ" and "our blessed lady of acceleration" in homage to ''The Blues Brothers'', and regularly uses "frak" (and all its derivatives). She's not nearly as inventive as her friend, who has a tendency to substitute "oh my giddy aunt", "shittake mushrooms" and "holy fing fang foom" for swearwords.

This troper, taking a page out of the TheBluesBrothers, regularly for the intervention of "Our Holy Mother of Perpetual Green Lights" whenever he turns onto roads noted to have poorly synched up stoplights. Helps sometimes.

This troper now realizes that the names of fonts make cool-sounding curse words. "Oh dingbats!" "Helvetica!" "Times New Roman, this sucks!"

Does that make C____ S___ the equivalent of a ClusterFBomb?

During the secondary school years my friends and I made sport of varying our english as far from standard as we were able while still comprehending each other, some more memorable attempts include; ...With a rake (as an expression of surprise) excessive use of the word Drok! and Social Activities to refer to anything it may not have been appropriate for a group of underage b&s getting up to.

Oh and acquire was the catch all term for anything we had gotten our hands on illicitly.

This troper and several of his friends have taken to using the terms "behind the curtain" and "curtaining" to refer to sexual activity, thanks to that being the euphemism used on several occasions when roleplaying game characters hooked up. He himself is also know to swear in his self created language. Due to being a CRFH!!! fan the phrase "Maritza on a pogostick!" has also entered his vocabulary.

This troper has used the phrase "What the blue monkey hell?!" when encountering something that beggars belief. I really don't know where it came from. I've also used terms more common to British English (calling something "bloody ridiculous", for example), even though I'm American. Along with the memorable "What the flyin' fubar was ''that'' all about?!".

This troper first saw "blue monkey hell" used in Planet Zebeth, but it probably didn't originate there.

A favorite "polite company" swear of this troper's is "Oh crumbs." Blame her junior year English teacher.

At this troper's high school, the phrase "eating pretzels" became a euphemism for sex through a long sequence of events that I don't feel like explaining. None of us can eat pretzels without a ton of awkwardness.

When he went to college, "f*** able" was always replaced with "boofable".

Boop?

Among this troper's friends, a 'healthy looking individual' is a hot girl.

Whenever something inconvenient occurs to this troper, the standard response is "well, isn't this a bucket of cat dander."

This troper especially hates 'son of a bitch' curse, so she uses son of a pimp instead for amusement on people's faces.

Among this troper's circle of friends, "tall woman with a laptop" (or "short man with a beard") are to {{transsexual}}s what "woman in comfortable shoes" is to lesbians.

This troper is rather fond of 'Sweet Rock Metal Jesus!' as well as gorram, frack, and gespacho.

A popular replacement for 'very' words is 'so zetta'.

This troper once described the weather as "going from zetta hot to zetta cold" to friends who don't play WEWY. *facepalm* More recently, after countless failed attempts to {{Speedrun}} the BonusBoss, "open up your world" sounds like a euphemism for rape now.

This troper's workplace has the "Gone to Washington" for homosexuality. It came about in the pretty obvious way: A lesbian went to washington.

As a result of certain events in the Series/DoctorWho series three finale, this troper tends to default to exclaiming "Sweet Tinkerbell Jesus!"

This troper isn't one of those people who prevents others from swearing, but prefers to be more original about it herself. On a trip to a candy store, she noticed a bag of something labeled "Pontefract." The hard consonant combinations make it a great pseudo-swear word. (For those wondering, it was a bag of the type of licorice candy originating in the town of Pontefract, England. The word comes from the root for "broken bridge.")

I often call my brother a "son of a lovely mother" 'cause I really don't want to be calling my mom something awful (but one time the traditional phrase did slip, so I had to back it up and tell my bro he was adopted).

For a while, this troper, when shouted would yell '''"CHAPSTICK!!!"''', followed by a quieter, muttering ''"chapstick......"''

This troper frequently uses "fitbin" (invented in the adult comic ''Viz'')

One of this troper's friends uses "What the Smurf?"

Since discovering(and getting my friends on the nightshift into) Dwarf Fortress, our euphemisms have gone a tad odd. This troper is fond of swearing by Armok's name, and using 'Carp!' and 'Elephants!' as his profanities of choice. Anyone who asks us what we're talking about we tell to read Boatmurdered.

This troper will say things such as, 'Fuckbuckets!', 'Jesus Christ Bananas!', 'Christ on a Cracker!', or, for some reason she doesn't understand, 'Hold on a chicken' (instead of the normal 'hold on a minute').

I use the actual word euphemism as a euphemism. I also use route 209 as a euphemism for hell. If you're wondering why, it's because it's also bothered me that my brother thinks that the song named route 209 sounds like the song telephone line. I've also used B-tard as a euphimism before I even knew about 4chan.

Demons from ''{{Supernatural}}'' make good swears - and, since watching the "Ghostfacers" episode, this Troper has found herself saying "Skull and Crossbones!" when extremely annoyed. Her dad's favourite ''faux'' swear is "What the four canal barges?" (try saying it out loud).

ThisTroper makes use of two variations, "f'ck" (pronounced with a bit of a click between the f and the ck) and "fusk", the latter of which is so popular among some of my friends that it's actually become the official swear of one of my friend's original settings.

This troper was once a member of a forum that spent a good several months almost exclusively replacing all swear words with the names of various vegetables. "Get your asparagus over here, you mother-carroting son of a tomato!"

This troper often uses "Flumwurst!" (and sometimes "Scrapulate!") as swear words, just because they sound good...

This troper once decided--after a discussion on a Christian Tolkien fans group where the "Sacksville-Baggins" were called SBs--to create an entire set of LordOfTheRings-based euphemisms. Unfortunately, she never got very far past "What the Mordor?!" and "You Sacksville-Baggins!"

Oh, Shih-Tzu.

This troper has used "Oedipus" to substitute for "motherf*** er" (think about it...) and "Farfergnugen" (the old VW motto) in fits of frustration. Other pseudoswears include a shouted "FORK" in response to painful stimuli, and involking such obscure bits of godly anatomy as Aphrodite's nipples or Hermes' left testicle as a moderate oath.

My favorite is "Oedipal illegitimate son of an oedipal relationship!" think about it.

This troper makes liberal use of {{Transformers}}-style exclaimations (such as 'kiss my skidplate'), with a goodly-sum of Bagel-toting Jesi thrown in for good measure. He is also extremely fond of hyphenated insults including the word "rectum". Despite all this indulgence in Unusual Euphemy, somewhat hypocritically, everyone who has used the word "frak" within earshot of him has earned themselves an entirely reflexive punch to the gut.

This troper, being a space nerd who does not approve of swearing, says "Oh, Phobos!".

This Troper uses "Christ on a Carousel" as an expression of mild frustration. He doesn't remember how this came into being. In addition, "clocksucker" is a term for his many friends who like steampunk when they annoy him.

"Smite thee!" is what this troper's friend yells whenever she gets mad at someone. This troper has adopted "Burninate you!"

This troper has adopted "oh, ''motherballs''" as an expression of frustration. (She and her writing partner also tend to describe particularly blatant examples of AuthorAppeal as "plot-related reasons.")

This troper uses "Oh, Kromaggs!" as an expression of anger, surprise, or both

this troper, due to being unable to swear at work, uses "Kretch," a syllable of his own devising (as far as he knows).

Not quite.

"Oh, Goddesses!"

This troper uses a different kind of ClusterFBomb; frickfrickfrickfrick, etc. Other times, she uses "frick on a stick" or "shit on a stick" or "shitsticks".

Lie-Smith}} This troper occasionally uses "Vashta Nerada!"

This troper has friends who can say Nar-NIA like some spectacularly foul oath.

When "Jesus Christ!" isn't enough, this troper elongates it to "Jesus Christ in a Handbasket!"

This troper, with deep debt to Claire Beauchamp Randall Fraser (of ''Outlander'' fame) will occasionally use "Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ!" as she does. (In the context of the novel, it confuses Claire's 18th century husband to great effect-- as does her use of the word 'sadist', and the word 'fucking'.)

This Troper has formulated such gems as Christ in a Crapbucket, CRAPSACKS! yelled loudly, followed more quietly by "sacks of CRAP", Sweet flipping banana hammock!, By the Light of the Moon!, In the name of sweet merciful Odin (usually followed by the likes of "What happened here?"), oh your god, Great Gatsby!, Chicken Kicker!, Fried Chicken (Frickin'), and Smoked Meat logs!

This troper resolves to cut back on swearing by creating a whole list of AvatarTheLastAirbender swears (in the style of Wizard Swears). It includes standard growls like "son of Azula", "what the platypus bear?!", "may Koh watch over you tonight", and "go endanger Katara in front of Aang". It also includes classics such as "ZUKO'S TINY PENIS!" and "Sparky-Sparky Boom Man's broken floral-print teapot!"

This troper also adopted swearing by Agni instead of God ("For Agni's sake") as a result of Avatar.

This Troper and friends spent a free period in middle school playing the card game [[strike:Bullshit]] Bolshevik.

This troper personally considers that word ''too dirty to use'' even as an obscenity.

This troper, at her conservative Catholic elementary school, played Big Sister. It took me years to realise what the game was supposed to be called.

This troper and a group of people he sits near in Science spent todays lesson substituting swears for elements of the periodic table. He, at least, intends to Zincing keep it up. (Elements used may vary)

This troper, having recently finished Gravity's Rainbow, has taken to using examples from the scene where Bodine and Mexico escape being cannibalized by thinking of the grossest human-based alliterative dishes they can think of and squicking out the would-be cannibals. "Oh, pus pudding! Barf boullion! ''Menstrual marmalade!''"

This troper's friend enjoys using rule 34 as a substitute for F*** . "Rule 34 with you and an especially ''large'' whale!" is one of my favorites.

After a particularly interesting Chinese-themed costume murder-mystery birthday party, this troper has taken "jumping rope" to mean sex.

Please tell us.

"Oh shitsune!" "What the 4Kids?"

"What the buttsecks?"

In a recent effort to get more interesting exclamations of surprise, This Troper decided to use medieval oaths - 'forsooth' and 'upon my halidem!' being personal favourites.

Noone else with such classics as "Fluck it!" and "Well, fit..."

BryceBryans has a friend who works with many people in a church and is unable to get away with saying Goddammit and instead says "Bob Saget!" as it has the same number of syllables.

What in the name of Primus, Unicron, and the Allspark? ("The Matrix" optional) Transformers swears sound close enough to their real counterparts to this troper, and they're versatile! Some of her favorites are "Frag it all to pit!" "Slag on a frag" and "Go interface with your motherboard." She also plans, at some point to break out with a "Bah weep graaaanagh weep ni ni bong" to her classmates, complete with hand gestures.

This troper uses Transformer swears too, and has referred to her (ancient, cantankerous) computer as a "fragging glitch-ridden hunk of slag" on more than one occasion.

This troper once called her ''computer'' a "scaly six-headed bastard offspring of a thousand first-cousin marriages."

Within this troper's circle, "sweeping the feathers" is equal to "Having sex." Don't ask.

I use bi-lingual "smör mig" (butter me, it's nonsense) for "Oh me" (obviously not a curse); Translated from Sweden to my native Finnish, "Smör mig" becomes "Voi minua", "Voi" meaning "butter" but also being a homonym for "oh".

Da_Nuke, after watching the Canadian French film ''Bon Cop Bad Cop'', has started using literal translations of Québecois euphemisms, which happen to fit this trope ''just fine''. Examples: "Host of tabernacle!" means "Fucking shit!", and "I chalice myself" means "I don't give a fuck".

His latest euphemism is "Jurgenbergen" for "dick". Explanation: "dick" -> "verga" in Spanish -> "Bergen" -> "Jurgenbergen".

Also, "V-3" for "asshat": ''asshat'' -> ''verguero'' in Spanish -> ''V-3''.

This Troper, when working at a kindergarden used mild German expletives, Donnerwetter being a favourite.

This Troper uses the word 'Kittens' instead of an expletive, and uses expression like 'Kiznit!' (meaning 'That's the kittens isn't it?', instead of 'That's the sh* t, isn't it?') into. She also uses her cat's names, and cat's genealogy (which has ended up with things like 'Sweet Dusty, mother of Coolcat, mother of Tamsin!'). Yes.

This troper's mother and aunt share some family euphemisms, among them, "Foot!" which when uttered by these women can sound quite horrific. Another favorite is "Bung", used for more extreme curcumstances. There is also a family story that a coworker of my uncle's (a commercial airline pilot) was chastized for shouting "Jesus Christ!" on a plane. After a moment of thought, he amended himself in the form of "Cheese and rice!"

Back at school, this troper was once discussing a certain teacher's anatomy with a friend when the teacher ''turned round'' and asked what we were talking about. The friend blurted out "...Dead tigers?" It immediately became a euphemism: the deader the tiger, the hotter the ass.

This troper's (non-religious) favorites: "Well, Rock me Amadeus!" and "What in the name of the German alternative Rock group Falco?" And he's still trying come up with more obscure references to exploit... any ideas?

This troper also uses common book-swearing language to make up for her profanity-dislike and atheism. "Stinking", "blast" or "blasted", "thrice-cursed", "bloody", and "Geez" (sometimes pronounced as "jise", which has a long story involving an Irish book character behind it). Sometimes this troper also swears literally using books, since they more or less replace a deity for her. "Books curse you", "may the books protect you", and "I swear by the books" are a few she's actually used aloud.

I always knew I had a sister!

In a moment of great stress, reaching for words that properly expressed her sentiments, this troper once shrieked "UTI and menses!" If you're a woman who's ever had a bladder infection, you will know just how bad things had gotten.

At one point I yelled out "Shit!" in gym class. After getting a disapproving glare from the teacher, I quickly added "...Ake mushroom!" ("Shiitake mushroom") Also, after my friend muttered "Fuck Yukes" while playing ''FinalFantasyCrystalChronicles'', we used "Fuck Yuke!" for a while, which didn't make much sense and eventually underwent MemeticMutation into "Yuke you!"

This troper cuts out the middleman and just swears in gibberish. It's good for ranting too.

This troper used to censor "son of a bitch" with "son of a lich". This swear now has its own separate meaning close to a harsher "freak of nature".

This troper long ago decided that instead of calling people or things "stupid", he would call them "special". As in "Stop acting Special!"

My social group has adopted the term "Book" to describe any girl you'd go to Special Hell for. (I'm fairly certain ''Firefly'' was involved in the naming process.) This has led to a slew of increasingly depraved spin-off terms, such as "plot twist," "library," "book of the month club," and my personal favorite, "Will you teach me how to read?" Yes, we're horrible people.

Let me guess: Library = brothel, book of the month club = {{Aversion}} of NoPeriodsPeriod, that last = pickup line. Yes?

A group I used to belong to always got a booth at the local Renaissance Faire. We also tended to wear Middle Eastern/bellydance costume due to the normal weather during that Faire. This resulted in comments about one of our (African-American) female members and her "tremendous tracts of fudge".

This toper has adopted "frag", "kriff", "Vecna's eye!", and "zog" as expletives. Mind you, he's sufficiently geeky that he greets people with "En taro Adun!", which may go some way towards an explanation.

This troper is fond of "Son of a submariner" and "Son of a biscuit" to mean "son of a bitch", and "Sweet Robot Jesus" to mean "Jesus Christ". Her other ones are "lily-lover" to mean "fag" or "pussy", and "dicklooper", which is used in the same way as "asshole" or "motherfucker". The last one, perhaps because it describes an anatomically impossible sex act (one's erect penis back into [[ScrewYourself their own anus, which is pretty squicky if you ask me]]), has become quite popular with my classmates.

This troper has recently started using exclamations such as "Magnificent Swaziland Mamooths!" and "Holy hand grenade!"

This troper, an atheist socialist, replaces religious cursing with Roman deities or socialists, such as "Jupesdamnit", "Jupiter above!", "For the love of Marx", " Sweet Lenin, Marx, and all the Engels!"

That last one is pretty epic.

This troper is also interested in historical costuming, and is on several e-mail discussion lists related to it. Whenever someone has a question about proper fitting of corsets or codpieces, we get a flood of euphemisms as people try to help out without tripping porn spam filters.

This troper dosen't use conventional profanity, as it has gone through badass decay. "Cold Fire" is an expliciative, as is "blood" (usually three times in a row), and "cursed coward" is my insult of choice.

This troper and her friends have turned the word "rabbit" into slang for "penis". You're better off not asking.

Man, now Elmer Fudd seems dirty.

This troper overdid it on Middle English literature and ended up with an entire ''vocabulary'' full of amusing medieval euphemisms for sex. It's much more entertaining to say "They had privy draughts" than it is to say "They did it."

This troper was at a punk concert recently, and saw a couple of idiots try and pick a fight. It was amusing to see an extremely large, extremely drunk fratboy scream insults like, "You're a total penis!"

This troper sometimes says "aw, nuggets" when frustrated. It's a minced shortening of "crapnuggets".

This Tropette yells, "Picard!" when frustrated. I don't even like Star Trek.

This troper is infamous among his friends for outright insane epithets, including "Eyeball Christ!" (commonly theorized to be a kind of Beholder Jesus), "Nosebadgering Stoats", and a grand spectrum of curses built from terms such as monkeys, goats, toilets, cheese, arses, and cannons, engaged in such verbs as summoning, blasting, lancing, invoking, and launching, frequently prefixed with phrases like "thrice-cursed".

This troper seems to have aided in the invention of the epithet "hellnonce". They're a nonce. In hell. (Or possibly from hell.)

This troper claims this term as her own (though you indeed corrected my spelling of 'nonce', which is integral). A 'hellnonce' is a demon pedophile. Or if one chooses, a general all-around dickwad. Is that term copyrighted as well?

Just for variety, I every so often add 'If You Know What I Mean' to entirely innocent phrases. An example: "I'm just going to sit on the sofa, if you know what I mean!" After a friend asked what I was doing, this inevitably led to "I'm creating unusual euphemisms, if you know what I mean?" Also, while casual swearing is the thing of everyday, in moments of extreme distress, I revert to more latinate and colourful swearing. 'Oh merciful son of a mothering lamb in the season of plenty!' And even better.

This troper (being a nerd) is fonding of using {{Cthulhu Mythos}}-inspired euphemism instead of real swears. This habit has produced such gems as "Dear sweet Cthulhu!" and "Spawn of a Shoggoth [or Mi-Go or Deep One]!" and "Azathoth curse it!"

This troper has been known to use the actual word 'swear' on occasion, generally as a mild exclaimation of frustration (the exactly usage is usually along the lines of "gah, swear, swear, swear, swear").

This troper writes "expletive deleted" in her diary when she can't think of anything more creative.

I'd Quincy that Archer, if you know what I mean. Oh, and I know I just ''clicked'' something new in your mind. If not, hover over the links and ''enjoy the service''.

This troper and her friend once held a contest to see what is the most unusual euphemism they could come up with. The two they came up with were "Did she smoke your salmon?" and "Did she film your funeral?". We are still trying to work out why the latter one is funny...

Allow a random stranger on the Internet to explain it for you: in Elizabethan times, the term "die" was a known euphemism for "orgasm". So wouldn't filming a funeral be watching you orgasm?

So what would ceremonially annointing the body be, bukkake? Anyway, in my series one character uses the phrase "Great fagots afire!"--burning sticks of wood, not gay folks--often. Also, several extraterrestrial characters swear by the deities of their homeworld, The Father, Mother, and Exalted Daughter: "Good Haeleom's diadem!" "By Calaeshe's powderbox!" "Great Flungraeus' vomit-stained beard!"

It turns out that "Welter" is a synonym for roll. #QUOTE#'''Troper and fellow incredibly white friends''': Yo, dis how we welter!

This troper's been known to come out with "Jeepers Cripes", "Gravy", "Sweet Gravy", and once, "Sweet Gravy Gods". When she was younger, it was "Son of a one-eyed warlock".

Guilty as charged... common ones include "frack", "frell", "fridge", Mario RPG}} "Fungah!", of Cthulhu}} "fhtagn!", "gorram", Torment}} "piking", "bloody bleeding (insert noun here)", Bit Theater}} "sweet zombie (insert noun here)", Fantasy VI}} "son of a submariner", Fantasy VIII}} "Lunatic Pandora!!", For Group}} "Oh For Pony's sake!", Keepers}} "Compass and Cross!", and Deegan}} "Curse You (person's name here) Spoon!" All of the above mostly due to general geekiness and a dislike of cursing... probably the closest I get to regularly swearing is using "Damn" frequently (though Crap Past the Radar}} not around my parents, it doesn't fly) and regular use of "Jesus Crimony". This troper's brother is exceptionally fond of exclaiming and Hobbes}} "Chumblespuzz!!" when frustrated.

This troper prides herself on coming up with extremely unusual expletives, her current favorite is: Fried chinchilla sold at the county fair on a Popsicle stick. They often include monkeys, fudge, cream sauce, or light syrups.

This Troper and a few friends use "kittens" to refer to committing various acts of evil in EVEOnline, based on the motto of a previous corp involving "spreading hate, discontent, and free kittens across New Eden."

This troper's friends use a wide variety of strange phrases, most notably "son of a beesting" and "Haterade".

In addition to FutureSlang profanities, this troper has been known to use "mother scratcher", "son of a motherless goat", "unholy son of a hooker", "crap in a hatbox", "cattywhompus", and "shastakovich." He was unaware of how strange these phrases sounded to other people, until a psychiatry student asked if he was suffering from a form of aphasia.

This troper, in addition to using slang pilfered from whatever series she's into at the time (zetta's the current one), has also taken to using "chocolate" in situations that would otherwise somehow take the Lord's name in vain. "For the love of chocolate," "for chocolate's sake," "chocolate forbid".... that last one doesn't work so well, but whatever.

This troper tends to drop random syllables a lot when frustrated but needs to avoid using the normal profanities, especially during the time he worked in a toy store. He also tends to mutter, "Depths of the bloody Abyss," when he'd otherwise say some version of "What the ____". Rarely, he swears by various gods both real and imaginary, or simply mutters, "Chaos!" when overwhelmed by random happenstance.

{{Anomaly}} also avoids standard "What the ____" phrases, but simply by replacing the offending word with something that starts with H. Most common are "What the hegemony!" and "What the henchman!" In addition, on a forum he once used the exclamation "Son of a plasma rifle!"

This troper one day inexplicably came up with "No spit, spurlock", most likely loosely inspired by Morgan Spurlock of Super Size Me fame. He and a friend also jokingly used "duck" and "shift" as expletives for a little while last fall. And then there was his main NationStates nation, in which those citizens that spoke English tended to say "fronk", "frunk", or "frake" in place of typical profanity.

If anyone in this Troper's family needs to go to the bathroom at a restaurant, we say we "need an Italian Lesson".

This troper's family had "visit the library," especially for when you need to find a bathroom when traveling.

This Troper once worked with a particularly potty-mouthed lighting designer who would, in the presence of the director/freshmen/child actors, would censor himself with gems like "fustercluck" and "mmph mmph mmmph".

At Nekocon larp of 2008 (in which congoers are roleplaying as assorted anime characters and enjoying the chaos that ensues), a girl playing Tayuya from Naruto (a character known for her foul mouth) wound up getting a flute that would enhance her stats well beyond the flute she started with (and uses for her attacks). The catch? The flute would also actively censor her. The player roleplayed this to the hilt, using unusual euphemisms in character and had the [=GMs=] and other players in stitches.

This troper prefers StarWars curses. "Kriff you in the shebs, you mother-lubing mudcrutch son of a stanged Sithspawn Kath hound and a fierfek Hutt-slime nerf herder!" is a perfect example. There are others (about 200), but that just about gets all the ones I use. Oh, and "What the frizz?!"

As part of an admittely belaboured joke in response to people not wanting me to swear, when at the university I used to swear by various Dr Strange entities, usually Satannish, Raggadorr and Hoggoth. People would just stare at me if they noticed at all, but one teacher (who was American) noticed and had a laughing fit at "Hoggoths håriga horder!".

Non-profanity example: This troper uses "fail in my pants" as a euphemism for failing with the opposite sex.

This Troper has on one or two occasions used the term "menstrual intercourse" in place of fuck."

For this Troper and his friend, the act of observing attractive females is known as "Unreading"

"I'm not going to finish this sentence" came to be used as a verb referring to sex when said sex is squicky. As in, I I'mnotgoingtofinishthissentenceed my cousin, or He cut a hole in her head and then I'mnotgoingtofinishtissentenceed it.

This troper's rather fond of saying "Doom" in as Zim-like a way possible when frustrated. He's also adapted about half the curses on this page; "shittake" seems to be a personal favorite, usually prefaced with "Oi."

Inversion: This troper came across a video review of an Xbox 360 game that referred to the twin sticks on the controller as "nipples."

This troper has a whole hoast of these, his most favorite being "bobsaget!" (intended to be spelled as one word). This even caught on with his teachers and friends, and was signed into his yearbook by classmates (as well as into theirs by him). Also used by this troper is "Piece of controler!" for "piece of shit!" (taken from a YouTube Poop of the Angry Video Game Nerd in which they sentance-mixed him to say "This SHIT is a piece of CONTROLER!" instead of the other way around); and "Son of a mother's lover!" taken from a MADtv sketch featuring Coach Hines. This troper used to be fond of using "frag" on occasion for various exclamations (although not as an f-bomb substitue), and also uses "lady of ill repute" sometimes to refer to prositutes (even when writing down cheat codes for Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas). However, the CrowningMomentOfAwesome came from this troper when he started using "homozygous" for "homosexual", i.e. somthing being "gay" (such as, "That sounds pretty homozygous!"). Who said chemistry class had no benifits?

In addition, this troper will use "What the crap?" for whatever What the ____ exclamation

This Troper has gotten odd looks on more than one occasion. To avoid a ClusterFBomb , she uses "Frick." Pretty normal, right? Not until she shouts "Holy Flaming Poop!" or "Jesus Christ and a kumquat!" do people begin to wonder about her. Granted, the last one is a bit of a subversion, but still.

This troper refuses to curse,so she uses substitutes. However,sometimes,it just sounds odd,since she often uses food names.

This troper uses many an unusual euphemism. Some of the more common (and translations) follow.

By the Emperor!: Jesus Christ!/Holy Shit!

Helshin!: Fuck, Shit, Crap.

FSK: Fuck (more empathic than above)

Frag: Crap, Shit, Balls. Any euphemism which means "Well, that went badly."

Defrag: As the above means "Well that went badly." this means "Hell yes, that went great."

Nuke: Fuck up. As in "That's fucked up." becomes "That's nuked." or "That's nuclear."

This troper tends to do this a lot. She will replace the f-word by the Smeg or Boop. She will also swear on The Dark One's name once in a while, or use the equivalent of "Bloody fudge buckets!" on her native language.

Out loud, this Troper usually uses common not-quite-swear-words. Online though, I have a whole repitoire of {{Unusual Euphemism}}s. They're mostly context-based, depending on what online game I'm playing (or what forum I'm posting on). Nonstandard expletives show up the most on Roblox, which has a text-chat filter, yet isn't limited to a chat dictionary like Toontown. Three I've picked up from Roblox itself are "What the content deleted?!" and all variations thereof ("[=[ Content Deleted ]=]" is the autofilter replacement for anything that is censored. Normally, it replaces the entire text field, but saying it in a sentence makes it known that it's for fun.), "WHAT THE BRICK?!?" (actually found at someone's level, and has possibly become an official Roblox expletive!), and using "atarashii-jin" ?????? as a replacement for "noob" (has to be romanji because in-game, Roblox doesn't accept kana input). Many of my other euphemisms originated in videogames (such as "Oh crag" from ''VideoGame/SuperPaperMario''), TV shows (such as "slag"), and occassionally a website (the only one that comes to mind is "pfargtl"). Only time (and number of {{Wiki Walk}}s) will tell when I pick up a euphemism from this wiki...

This troper, thanks to this page, has begun referring to stupid wizarding moves (see also, a fair chunk of HarryPotter's activities) as "stupid caltrop" moments.

This troper has come up with some astounding lines over the years, some of which stuch for common use. To whit:

Flonq (Thank you, Cable)

Tears of Lilith (Unusual, but then I AM a Lilith-worshipper)

Stuff and Fluff (Thank you, Pooh Bear)

Damn it all to hell and back with a little pink cigar! (No idea, and not sure I want to remember the situation which led to THAT exclamation)

In high school, a friend of mine very annoyed with some other random guy asked him if he (I try to translate) "couldn't, please, go away to make himself a nuisance to his very dear mother?" (in original Spanish, for those who want it: "¿Podría usted, por favor, ir a importunar a su queridisima madre?"). Somehow, the tone of anger he delivered that very phrase made it way funnier that if he had actually used the more profane and unambiguous form of the request.

This troper refers to female->male rape/dom porn as "green border," consensual stuff as "yellow border," and male->female rape/dom porn as "red border." The colored border thing comes from ''Border Down'', a ShootEmUp that combines the traditional spare-life mechanic and DynamicDifficulty into the three-color border system.

This troper uses "By the blood of the Highborne!" whenever annoyed by something/someone.

This Troper's Dungeons and Dragons group has "rolling the dice" as one for masturbation. (long story short: one guy was prepping his roll under the table)

Which, sadly, reminds this troper of a friend who consistently rolled natural twenties on masturbation checks. And it was started by something similar to the above, and when the GM took notice he told the player to roll the first one. Which then became an unfortunate RunningGag.

This troper and her friend often use the word "feck" as a substitute for "fuck", resulting in several rather mangled acronyms: "wtfeck, stfecku", and similar. Obviously, we could just leave it as an f, but that wouldn't be bizarre enough.

"Shit" = "4t".

This troper grew up around Protestant Christians, so she has to resort to this around most of her friends (although it's really more about not upsetting said friends' parents). Her usual substitutes for 'God' are various fictional characters of godlike power, including Haruhi, {{minus}}, and Yukari. For other interjections, however, she usually uses "Oh, poop" or just Gosh Dangs It To Heck.

I use "Holy sith(spit)" and, more recently, "132". 132 was spawned after learning finger binary and being very amused at it all.

This troper was a bit of a prude for half of the seventh grade. She frequently used the words 'jiska' 'son of a Gungfairyen' and 'sherbet lemon' as curses. People were vastly amused by this and kept trying to get her to 'swear for real.' Eventually she caved, due to homophobic jerks in need of chastisement. (She tried using curses from Abarat for a day in the fifth grade and was met with confused looks from her friends. 'Nevernow' and 'A'zo and Cha!' are not effective verbally.)

This troper's sister has taken to saying 'Son of a diddly' thanks to a certain animated television show. This troper herself has become fond of 'Holy flark' or 'son of a flarkin' seraph!'. When she has the prescence of mind, she will say inane things such as 'Son of a soul sucking seraph!' or 'Son of a soup slurping sasquach!' It's the aliteracy that matters.

This troper used to voice SymbolSwearing with a sound that approximated "blblblblbl." He later went to using gas station names ("What the Mobil?") and currently goes for either "bleep" or random gibberish.

ThisTroper just heard an unusual variant of the standard "doggone it" phrase during a football game a cousin of mine was playing in. Following a couple of lousy calls (the officials were horrible that night), I could hear said cousin's mother screaming "Dog BITE it!"

"Fsck" is a common substitute for "fuck" in Unix/Linux circles, being derived from the file-system check command. As fsck is a very powerful file-system repair tool, a corrupted system that can't be fixed with fsck is, well...

This Troper is a longtime DungeonsAndDragons player, and went through a period of calling breasts "armor kitties."

This troper used "cake" as a euphemism for "fuck" for a while, until he got tired of explaining the joke (it's from the Pokémon fanfiction "Tales of Flame). Then he switched off for "frag" which makes for great fun when playing online {{Halo}}.

Above troper here. He's noticed that he's started saying things like "Goddess dammit!" and "By the gods!" or "For pizza's sake!" to avoid using the Lord's name in vain.

In addition to various PardonMyKlingon interjections, this troper has been known to yell "EXPLETIVE!"

This troper likes to swear in Latin ("YOU MATRIFORNICATOR!") and often replaces 'Hell!' with the names of Dante's layers thereof. "By Thor's Hammer!" is a long-running favorite as well. He's also trying to memorize all of the patron saints so that he can swear by them whenever possible. He's an atheist.

After a long discussion about how this troper did not agree with her friend's thesis on sociopaths, anyone who exhibits disturbing and/or violent behaviour became known as a Green M&M. Don't ask.

This troper sometimes substitutes "Bolshevism" for "bullshit" among more tender-eared folk. She also throws out the words "frap" and "diddly" randomly, sometimes even while cussing up a blue streak. It's almost unconscious. "Diddlyfuck!" Yeah.

I don't really swear, but instead I use euphemisms. My favorite euphemism is ''Fudge Butter'', which I use as a euphemism for the f-word.

A couple of my friends now refer to gay sex as "eating dinner," due to another friend's common excuse for being unavailable: eating dinner at (lolcensor)'s house.

I have a tendency to use 'fzzt' as a euphemism, and thanks to a friend believing it sounded like a euphemism, "forsooth"!

This troper uses shoot em as a Euphemism for sex. HilarityEnsues when a friend suggests playing a shoot em up game, which means a particular type of sex. I usually respond with, "Yeah, I wouldn't mind..."

This troper is well acquainted with a young lady who swears by exclaiming KRIP! ...ke.

I used to use Klingon or FutureSlang. Now I make up my own. "Great bloody circles of eternal fire!" is popular. For sexual euphemisms, some severe MemeticMutation lead to "cookies" being an euphemism for lesbian sex in my circle of friends (and vice versa). Yes, specifically lesbian. HilarityEnsues whenever someone says ''anything at all'' involving a literal cookie. Theories get interesting when a guy blunders. - and now that some LesYay has gotten a RelationshipUpgrade, just stay away from the baked items.

This troper actually uses 'Euphemism': "EUPHEMISM YOU!", "We are so euphemismed!", "We're about to get all Euphemistic!!"

This troper uses 'Foo'. Leads to getting some strange looks when in public, when people think she's going to say something different.

This troper's group of WoW buddies had an inside joke where if someone asked someone else to bring them a cheesecake, it meant "I want to have sex with you." It came from one particular buddy who told a tale from his college days... this girl had a huge crush on him, and at one point said something to the effect of "if you bring me a cheesecake I'll sleep with you." He did, and they slept together. This troper does not recall the exact context of what caused her to say this, but the point is still the same. "Bring me cheesecake" = "screw me, baby."

This troper has the dubious honour of inventing a euphemism for being gay- A friend mentioned Freddie Mercury, and I just felt like using the phrase "He's got a bridge to sell you," and the two were somehow connected. She is also prone to generating run-on sentences involving the words "cat," "pancakes," "bucket," and many others. This has resulted in such gems as "CATS ON A PANCAKE RIDING A POGO STICK ON A STEAMBOAT ''NAMED FREDERICK.''" where many people would simply say "DAMN IT."

Professional terminology has is uses for hidden insults:

In medical terms cervical vertebrae (i.e. the vertebrae in your neck), are abbreviated with "C1" to "C7" with C1 being the topmost. Above C1 is the head, so a patient who is "diagnosed" with a C-Zero-Problem has an acute case of stupidity.

"Prescribe a course of high-velocity transcortical lead therapy", which translates to "Shoot the patient in the head".

IT People have the similar "ISO/OSI Layer 8 Problem" which is another way of saying that the problem is sitting in front of the monitor.

Also, "ID-Ten-T Error", and "PEBKAC Error" ("Problem exists between keyboard and chair").

{{Excel-2010}}. If I'm asked where I'm going and I don't feel like telling them, I say that I'm "going to the dentist".

This troper's father has used the euphemism "TheJonasBrothers" to refer to testicles... Don't ask I really don't know.

This troper uses a whole battery of them, ranging from the fairly pedestrian "bloody", "frelling", "feckin'" and "dad-burn-it", to more unique ones like "chaos and fire" or "shades, angel, what were you thinking?".

This troper typically uses actual swears and thus never falls under this, although once at band practice she heard "shut the front door" used for "shut the fuck up".

This troper and her friends somehow took to saying "I'm going to go swipe some hubcaps" to announce a visit to the bathroom.

This Troper's father tends to use "rat spit", being the diminutive form of the name of some demon in a series he reads. Said troper mostly sticks with forms of frick and frack, "Rassa-frassa grumble mumble", various forms of OhMyGods, and nonsense syllables that mostly resemble a CurseOfTheAncients or pseudocurse.

This Troper is currently enrolled in an AP English class and being (re)introduced to various "famous" works of literature. Lines like "Goats and monkeys!" and "Strumpet!" are very common now. Before that, there was "Fragadero!" (the Spanish word for "sink").

This troper and her friends call vibrators Dead Babies. You see This troper's friend's mother had to deliver something to a female friend while we were in the car, it was in a black bag inside of a box. Many jokes were made about it being a dead baby until friend's mother finally said it was a vibrator out loud. Of course we already knew but.....it stuck. As such we now call dead babies deceased infants. Surprisingly a lot of people we know seem to like to talk about dead babies......

Oh, this troper's friends love this trope...

Her cousin refers to visible nipples as "Turkey's done!"

A Chemistry class discussion of a news story about a student having an affair with his teacher led to the immortal "Talk about Advanced Placement!"

Several friends went through a phase of saying "Aww, sit!"

This troper will reluctantly admit to using Shakespearean quotes as insults when she was in middle school. This troper was (and is, but to a lesser extent) ridiculously nerdy.

A couple years back, this troper's class read the Odyssey. She still can't say "sea-hollowed caves" without giggling. (Odysseus spent some time in Calypso's, or so I heard. Ahem.)

... effcracker frazzle fuzz.

And then this: #QUOTE#'''LoveInterest''': *sees friend with hands in pockets* You're not taking your [=MASTERals=] over there, are you? #QUOTE#'''Me''': He's taking his [=MASTERals=] along with his [=BAchelors=].

This troper uses the words "Fark" "Sheet". As well as using "Naga"/"The Three Nagas" instead of God due to his personal mock religion. "By the Three Nagas what the FARK is going on here!?". There's also the running joke of "Masticating the Bolus" which technically means eating but is used as a euphamism for something else.

This troper loves unusual and funny euphemisms, and has come up with quite a few that he hasn't seen mentioned above:

During a geology unit of science class, this troper came up with the idea of using "schist" as a minced oath after having identified a rock sample as a "piece of schist."

When this troper used to play ''PuzzlePirates'', he developed an affinity for exclaiming "Scupperin' succotash!" in a cross between Sylvester's CatchPhrase and the in-game "piratey" swear filter.

"file system check" - i.e. the Unix/Linux "fsck".

"posterior orifice" - can work pretty well as a StealthInsult.

This troper's favorite insult is "Devil's Spawn". Also, whenever she can't answer a question, she expresses this by saying a random word like "fire" or "coal". Her friends were surprisingly quick to catch on.

This troper is a programmer who has developed a habit of saying "Glitch!" when his code doesn't work (based on an unusual 'droid in a StarWars novel who didn't respond well to being routed in circles). He also has been known to use "Fudge!" (from {{Zork}} II) and, in particularly annoying circumstances, "Fudge on a popsicle stick!" He occasionally comments that the country (or the world) is "going to purgatory in a perambulator." Way back in high school (more than 20 years ago) he knew a fellow gaming/SF geek who tended to use "Son of a mynock!"

This troper's father likes to use "Scrud!" This troper herself tends to borrow "Frick on a stick!" and Ross's fistbump, and once told her mother to "hold your fuzzy horses!".

When I was very young, my mother refered to shit as "gruntle". She also refered to both male and female genitalia as "tiddles".

This Troper and his friends, generally when discussing something not viewed positively by TheMan, had a strange inside joke where we would ALL CAPS "AUF DEUTSCH!" before continuing the conversation in broken German. Nowadays, AUF DEUTSCH! means "I got it from [=BitTorrent=]".

Also, "Don't be a scrotum" was used for a while: right between a dick and an ass.

And, of course, "they will be amazed" to refer to anything with massive levels of HighOctaneNightmareFuel... especially ''NeonGenesisEvangelion''.

Several kids at this troper's high school say things like "Mother function!"

A weird tradition at my school is to use "Eleven" in place of any profanity; in front of Teachers, usually.

Somehow, among this troper's friends, "talking about Hamlet" came to mean sex. No one can remember how this happened, but it's probably this troper's fault.

I've used the term "for fat's sake" at least once, but that's more because I'm The Malaproper than because I intended to use an unusual euphemism. Normally, if I can't swear, I use the Homestarism "sit on a biscuit," oddly harsh sounding words ("You rhombus!") or, on occasion, arsole.

This troper once used "cabbage" to replace words like s*** . His college uses "junk". Kind of unsettling when you realize that junk is also an euphemism for penis. "Oh, penis!"

What the nonsense?; flicking (to reference this)/freaking shunk (always mispronounced "junk"); holy whatsit...

A friend of this Troper's Father, at Astronomy Club, used to be a firefighter -- and when he was in charge of the brigade, he tried to actively discourage those under his command from cussing in front of "civillians". So in place of the S and F bombs, he introduced the word, "actual". So you'd get something like, "my actual keys have gone missing!" This Troper's Father suggested "actuality" for a verb equivalent. So insteading of something like "What in the effing eff are you on about?", you'd end up with, "what in the actual actuality are you on about?" And it still (mostly) makes sense. :3 This Troper now can't hear the word "actual" (or its related words) without dissolving into a fit of the giggles.

At an RP that this troper was in, two characters were discussing dying a virgin. My character brought up Issac Newton and how he didn't do too bad for himself, considering that he supposedly died a virgin. The other person's character said he would have been more awesome if he'd actually had sex, and mine responded with, "What, like it would have activated superpowers?" The other person's response was, "I bet I could activate your superpowers."

This Troper's RP group has taken to using 'sanding' as a sexual euphemism. We've had many a laugh about people trying to smooth their wood. Needless to say, the resident carpenter NPC had a field day when he found out.

This troper just heard someone say "What the French?!" when he found out something surprising. He claimed it was "What the French Toast," but...

This troper's school video games club has spawned "summoning a rhino" for cheating or being a JerkAss, and "buying candy" for having sex, coming from a rather meta conversation about this very topic where we were trying to alienate a friend in the most bizarre way possible. "Velociraptor" is an all-purpose swear.

This troper once witnessed someone on a forum refer to 'rectal haberdashery'.

In an effort to remember various portions of the periodic table, this troper began using them as curse words.

This troper has "Aw, fudgeloaf".

"Using your intelligence" has become an unusual euphemism for having sex between this Troper and her friends. However, she would like to give a little bit more background information. Her class read WaitingForGodot in their English class. One of her classmates asked their teacher if the two main characters were together. Her teacher said no, and the class went on. Later in the class, her teacher pointed out that the play uses some very strange stage directions such as "Valdimar uses his intelligence". Since there was an erection gag not half a page before the stage direction... Between the comments from her classmate and her teacher, her mind naturally defaulted to it's natural state.

After a particularly...''interesting'' conversation with a friend, this troper now uses the term "blogging" instead of "masturbating."

I thought up "Do you wanna verb my noun?" and "I'm going to verb her like an adjective noun!", but I never get to use them, because they don't work quite that well in German... The main reason is that you can't turn "Verb" into a verb in German because it will sound like the existing verb "werben"... generally, in German every word signalizes its type, which makes such jokes harder to use.

There is a home video from 9/11 in which several young adults in a high-rise apartment witness the second plane hitting the Twin Towers. The most shocking, horrifying, unexpected sight one could witness, yet amidst the screams the worst expletives that can be heard are along the lines of, "Oh, gosh!" or "Oh, my golly!" When I first saw it, my initial thought was, "What are these people...Amish?"

To this troper, any old series of unintelligible noises work excellent for swears, especially around authority figures. "Gah Fragnabaflargle!" is a personal favorite.

After a visit to The Macaroni Grill, where language tapes play in the restrooms, this troper's family has taken to using the phrase 'learning Italian' in place of 'going to the bathroom'.

Thiz troper was once discussing sex with her father. At one point, she exclaimed "OH MY GOD YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT". Her younger sister walked in and asked what it was that he didm't know. This troper said " that Everybody Loves Raymond ended a few years ago."

My sister and I started referring to having sex as "playing tag" after watching this cut-scene from Tales of the Abyss.

I've used some strange words and phrases as curse words, including "jar of alabaster ointment!" and "flibbertijibet!"

"I don't give a tiny french crouton!"

This troper's personal euphemism, at least when playing nomic, is "fluxx", as a pun on "fuck" and the slightly nomic-like game Fluxx.

This troper was once playing a video game against his cousin. When said cousin pulled a particularly clever trick to win the match, this troper jokingly replied with the phrase "Son of an ''aunt''": [[DontExplainTheJoke the implication being that the cousin's mom is a bitch.Which she totally is ]]. This Troper liked the sound of it, and still uses it to this day.

This troper has been known to use "scheisse" ("shit" in German) and "shitfuckdeathbeer" (from comedy music act Worm Quartet's "What Your Parents Think All Your Music Sounds Like"). He would use "Flying Spaghetti Monster" more frequently but "FSM" doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.

This troper has taken to using the word "euphemism" itself when she can't think of an actual well-known euphemism.

This troper, usually responding to words like "Really?" Or "You sure?" by saying "I Shih Tzu Not."

This troper has a few himself, and has run across a few. One is mine and my friend's name for cigarettes. We call them cookies. We call lighters ovens, and we call menthols(our favorite) "sugar cookies". This comes from when he was holding my cigarettes for me for some reason and eating a cookie. I kept asking him for a cigarette, trying to be quiet about it so as not to interrupt my dad's epic speech. He stares at me for twenty seconds, gives a shit-eating grin, and says through a mouthful of crumbs: "You want a cookie?" holding up his half-eaten treat. I spent the next twenty minutes screaming obscenities in his face without pausing for breath.

OP here, still not done. Another one is from my (possibly ex-)girlfriend, and it was a cute one. She always called penises "ding-dings", which led to some rather amusing(and slightly emasculating) phone sex for a while. She eventually got semi-comfortable with saying "cock" (or just dropping names altogether, which was even hotter) and the cuteness faded.

Then there's my friend(cookie-guy) and I using "crast" to refer to breaking into somebody's house when they're not home to steal things. Of course, we weren't the first ones to use that word, but it became unusual to the more illiterate members of our little cult.

But the best one of all? That's one that only I use when insulting somebody, usually an idiot or my jerk of a nephew who likes giving me titty-twisters, and that's called "Fuckass". Just two words, said really fast, usually accompanied by an elbow to the chest or a slap on the back of the head.

This troper belongs to several online RPs. In the chatbox for one, players were discussing the 'stork brings babies' myth. So this gave rise to the comment that one person's character is going to be praying for a stork for years. And she "needs a praying partner."

When something bothers me, instead of saying 'That really grinds my gears' I say, "That really rustles my jimmies." I understand that it is relatively common on the internet, but completely unheard of in real life, and when people hear me say it it brings quite the laughter.

This troper sometimes utters ''"holy flaming chopsticks"''. The origin of which still baffles me to this day.

When playing StreetFighter with someone, this troper often replaces curses with special move names from said game, like "what the *hadouken*?" or "*tatsumaki* your *senpuu-kyaku*!".

This troper's friend uses "Jesus in a box!" as an expression of exasperation.

I came up with fudge cakes. Originally meant to replace "fuck" as in "Ah... fuck/fudge cakes". Apparently it doubles as a euphemism for shit.

Also "Happy" is a euphemism for aroused.... don't ask how it came to be.

This troper used to intern at Disney World. Her fellow intern friends, chastised for swearing on the job at Animal Kingdom, began to use Mickey for almost anything and everything: "Mickey Mouse!" "Oh Mickey." "Shut the Mickey up!" "Mickey yourself!" "You Mickeyhole!" "I got really Mickeyfaced at the party." "That Mickeying [noun]."

There was only one word that Mickey could not substitute for, and in this case we used Minnie: "She was always Minnieing and moaning."

Meanwhile, a seasonal cast member I worked with complained while working about "that son of a beach ball".

This troper uses "Pantslizard" for penis and "the eruption of Mt. Vesuvius" for ejaculation.

This troper prefers not to swear, so when irritated will often shout the first thing that comes to her mind. Examples include completely made-up words, and others such as "Chocolate-covered Rats!" "Carpal Tunnel Syndrome!" or "Pickles!"

Not entirely sure if this counts, but one this Troper's friends, as a way to express anger without getting in trouble in situations where cussing would frowned upon, simpling yells things along the lines of "Ahh swear word!" or "Ethnic Slur!". The personal favorite among our circle of friends for a while was "N Word!". Which clearly means "ninja". Why, what did you think? Also, after a viewing of Matrix: Reloaded "Eating the special cake." came to be a euphemism for a plethora of sexual occurances/activities.

This Troper once had this conversation with two of her friends, who are going out: #QUOTE#Friend 1: When we get married, we're going to have lots and lots of ducks. #QUOTE#Friend 2: Our ducks will be so loud that the neighbors will complain. #QUOTE#Me: ...Is "ducks" code for something else?

Turns out, they were actually talking about ducks.

This Troper refuses to call herself "this Troper" through this whole thing... I use a lot of Unusal Euphemisms. Instead of saying God or Jesus, I say the names of various people (mostly musicians and game designers) and fictional deities such as Arceus, Chaos, Solaris, and Starclan (that last one is courtesy of a friend, who just happens to be a big fan of ''Warrior Cats''). There was one case where I was in an online chatroom (a chat only room on Isketch to be exact) and I used four (two in one sentence in one case) Unusual Euphemisms in the same conversation. What were they? "For the love of Naoto Ooshima, whoever made that site should go 34 themself" "Where in the name of Arceus did you go?" and "Oh, for the love of Starclan...". In fact, I think using Unusual Euphemisms is so fun that I come up with them just for fun. One of the most entertaining ones I ever used was "Holy sweet Yukie Nakama on a sundae!", which I came up with for the purpose of a webcomic I was writing, but gave up on later.

This tropette, when in company where she shouldn't curse, will repeatedly mutter, "Muffins!" Also, thanks to By Jeeves, she will holler, "By spoons!" or "By moose!" Or really any of the lines of the song.

This troper's English class uses "pulling a Mitty" as a euphemism for daydreaming.

After watching http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Wd-Q3F8KM, me and my brother sometimes jokingly say "count" instead of "fuck". "Go count yourself!"

I also use "What the Arceus?", and "{{Rule 34}}" as an euphemism for porn.

This troper tends to use a lot of these, for whatever reason. Her favorite is, "Holy bananas in a barrel!"

Fixing a pop machine = Having gay sex. Don't ask.

This troper, when shocked or frightened, will holler, "POPTARTS!"

"Oh, you sack of potatoes!" is the insult of choice for this troper and her friends. Often shortened to "You SACK!"

"Fuckwads!" = "Stupid motherfuckers who can't fucking stop talking for five fucking seconds!" And then there's the obvious "{{Rule 34}}" and "You're an apple!" Also, this troper uses "persuade," "convince," and other synonyms as euphemisms for "kill."

This troper once tried to invite over a few of my friends over to watch Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. One of his female friends was not allowed to come because her parents believed that I would be tempted to, and I quote, "share a meal with her." Funny thing is that we do often share food during lunch.

This Tropette's art teacher had a habit of saying "CURSE WORD!" whenever she was upset. She even did that around parents during parent/teacher confrences if papers fell and the like. Of course, she was always a little weird.

This troper has been known to use, in real life, out loud, "CrystalDragonJesus" as a statement of exasperation, as well as "Bahamut's Scaly Left Testicle!" and "Tiamut's Ashen Tits!" in the same vein. "Nobody wants to see your Dad's guitar" has become a euphamism for "Nobody cares about your perverted nonsense". We know. It's just funnier that way.

This troper, his ex-girlfriend, and his friend Sarah often used "doing the verb" as a euphemism for sex. Our journalism teacher had seemed oblivious to how her lecture on active versus passive voice sounded like a euphemistic discussion of something else. We weren't.

This troper occasionally say "fu you cian ke" in his first language, which means "f u c k".

This troper doesn't have much problem cursing, but in situations where he prefers not to, has taken to using the euphemism "WHAT THE FAIL?!" as a substitute for the obvious.

"Well, pluck a duck!"

A friend and I used to refer to watching/reading porn as "drinking orange juice." I figure it doesn't take much to figure out what "stabbed with his poison blade" means. And random nonsense from "The Jabberwocky" makes good substitute curse words, you bandersnatch!

TANJ, the expletive used in the known space books, is hilariously also the acronym used to refer to the Trial Attorneys of New Jersey. There ain't no justice, indeed.

This troper and her friend, somehow, came up with "Fruit Salad" as a euphemism for sex. Another popular one they used at the time was Filch for both f-ck and bitch.

This tropers' mother is a teachers assistant in kindergarten. One day, one of the boys in her mother's class was caught with his pants down at recess. It was already suspected the boy had "issues", and so this tropers mother took him to see the school councilor to discuss what exactly was wrong with having your pants down at school. The excuse the kid gave this tropers mother and the school councilor? "I wanted to show my friends my orange whistle." Even though the boy was talking about an actual orange whistle, Hilarity Ensued.

Many people This troper knows use the word "Barstool" in place of "Bastard". It helps that it sounds a lot like the commonly-heard British pronunciation of said profanity.

This Troper has recently began using the phrase "Meat on a farm" as a HandWave to anything that makes little, if any, sense, but is still acceptable on basises of cool or funny. This is, of course, a reference to the PSX game DigimonWorld. Now, when things get...too wierd, we use "They grow packaged cereal on a tree", as reference to DigimonXrosWars.

This Troper often uses "shimblenies", "duckmeat", "flubber", "Schrödinger", "ratsnacks", and "beefsticks" in place of common swears, along with "bone bulge", "nightstick", and "magical fairy wand" to refer to male genitalia. A friend of mine also gave us "linking arms and skipping" as a euphemism for sex.

"Asdfghjkl," (pronounced ass-da-fer-gel), "son of a monkey," and "Oh, Kojima!" Not to mention "Honore D. Balzac," shortened to "Honore D."

This troper is referring to her periods as the Saigon. Her euphemisms for having sex come from university-level math. And even though she's usually swearing as a sailor she tends to write 'fruck' in online convesrsations.

Break Mode for (single) orgasms. It's not uncommon for me to use other shmup terminology as substitutes. In general I feel embarassed saying words like "penis" and "vagina" outright, so I have a habit of using euphemisms in order to get creative.

For this tropette and her friends, 'H-E-Double Hockey Stick' because she and her best friend aren't bad word people. Also, instead of saying periods, we say that we're on our 'end of the sentence'.

While watching an episode of House at a friend's apartment, I got squicked at on of the symptoms. My reaction was to shout the phrase "Holy Chutes and Ladders." I have no idea where that came from, it just rolled out of my mouth... though I am fond of saying "Holy Shoots" so maybe that had something to do with it.

This troper is fond of saying, "Ridonkulous!"

This troper (well, when she wasn't fond of cursing) used "What the J!"

Adept Enten}}I personally use some GS-based profanity substitutes like, "By the Elements!", "Praise the Elements!" and the like, as well as using Inheritance Saga swears like drajl (maggot spawn) or sheilven (coward) for mild stuff, and barzul and its more severe form barzuln for really intensive swearing a lot. I sometimes lapse into usage of Legend of Zelda goddess names and Legendary Pokémon names, too.

This Troper is not fond of cursing herself resulting in gibberish, irate "squirrel speak", copious use of "frak", taking the names of stories' dieties in vain, some of the good ol' sort like "oh shoot", quite a few odd and often off-the-cuff ones including a personal favorite: "what the frozen Daleks!?" and an accidental adaptation of a Spanish curse-phrase to "conejo tu madre!"

This Troper uses "lmro" aka "laughing my rear/rump off" on occation, even though it ruins the Mao jokes.

This Troper and her friend use "KFC" as a synonym for sex after seeing a comic made from a chapter of MyImmortal, and ''Chick-fil-A'' for love (since we think Chick-fil-A the fast food restaurant is much better than KFC the fast food restaurant).

This Troper's reaction to people using the f-word instead of punctuation: #QUOTE#"Oh, ''comma''"