I have an observant catholic friend who will never ever ever EVER curse. Even "damn" is out of the question. However, he did say "shit" once when he was very young and figuring out what it means, and I was able to get him to say "damn" too. Score for anti-censorship!

Same troper as above, I don't often curse, at least without true purpose, like when I'm really angry or for emphasis. But when I'm around my father, he constantly says "watch your language". I can understand that, but when he tells me off for saying "goddammit ads annoy me", it's a bit much.

This troper occasionally asks "What the Frank Sinatra?" when something odd happens in polite company.

This troper was sitting at her school, and watched a kid run up to another kid and shout, "Gosh Dang you to Heck!" and then run away. How odd....

This troper's cousin said "Aww fiddle!" as a response to a bridge being out. I came to see what happened and simply blurted out "Shit."

This troper will hold a fist up to someone who makes him mad, and raise, quickly, his pointer finger to freak them out, rather than flipping the bird.

This Troper will on occasion replace the 'F*ck' with 'Fudgecakes'.

This troper is particularly fond of "Son of a drunken werewolf!", although she has not yet had an opportunity to use it in real life. (However, in one of her stories and in a roleplay forum . . . she has.)

Shortly after the birth of her niece, this she-troper resolved to stop swearing like a sailor, instead using 'Frak', 'Son of a Combine', 'Son of a Templar', 'Son of a beesting', 'Son of a Dusk' and 'Son of a Dusk'. She's also found herself cussing in Italian which seems....counter-productive, as her niece is bound to learn/understand the language sooner or later.

This Troper always says "gosh", which in her rather posh english accent works quite well, but tends to prompt mockery. But she gets mocked if she says "fuck" as well due to the accent. Can't win.

This troper always winces when reads or hears cursing. The closest he has ever does to cursing is using the expletive from Pirates of Dark Water.

The most this troper has ever sworn was when he was four or something and screamed to his brother in pure joy "I'm gonna kick your *** out of your *** !" Otherwise, I just say "crud". I think I might of said "this is crudding insane" at one time or another...

When this troper learned that 'porra' (a Brazilian expletive) was the name of a kind of candy (churros) in certain Spanish-speaking countries, she started using 'Churros' as a curse word. Her ex-boyfriend used to say 'Cheetos!' a lot.

This troper has used a variety of odd expletive stand-ins. Examples are Jiminey Cricket, Jiminey Christmas, shizits, shiznitz, frazzle, bananarama, frugglebutts, schnikey, crapola, polar bear, and vermillion. When needed, however, this troper can swear like no other. Ever witnessed a formerly mild-mouthed teen suddenly shout "Go assfuck your hermaphrodite mom, you moronic jackass bastard of a cuntfucked crack-whore lardass condom-fail! May your dick forever be tiny and your balls blue, doucheface, and your rectum be wrecked by your step-dad's ding-dong." Yes, ding-dong was included.

This Troper has a friend who says "What the french toast?!?!" In addition, this troper says Dadburnit, after one to many western shows.

This troper, after growing up in a swear-strict household, has grown up using "phoo" most often, and for slightly more agitated expletives "dam". Of course, when questioned about this, it's always the beaver kind of dam. Also, my brother grew up saying "flipping", but has by now broken his programming and can drop F-bombs whenever he likes. How I envy him.

This troper's favorite euphemism is "Sweet fancy Moses in a sidecar!" It's not just more polite... it's ''loads'' more fun to say.

This Troper is fond of "Jesus H. Christ on a Motorbike!"

This troper favors "Jesus H. Crispety-crunchety Christ on a Harley-Davidson with a bottle of whiskey in each hand and Mary fucking Magdalene riding pillion".

That... kind of defeats the purpose of alternative swears.

Are you a fan of Sam and Max Freelance police by any chance?

Whereas this troper is a fan of "Jesus Turing Christ!".

"Christ on a bike!" It rolls off the tongue easier, I find.

I prefer "Jesus Christ on a motorbike/battlemech"

This troper usually just yells whatever nonsense comes to mind in place of swears, leading to such gems as "Son of an orange!" and "Flip you, balloon!"

For me, "Christ on a pogo stick!" (This must be said in a Scottish accent)

For some reason, 'Holy Jesus on a pogo stick!' sounds so much more funny to me.

"Jesus Christ on a crutch!"

"Holy f*** in' Moses!"

Math geeks

I prefer "Holy guacamole and a side of chips!"

"Jesus Harold Christ on rubber crutches!"

"Sweet zombie Jesus!"

'Jesus Christ on a crutch with antlers!'

"Jesus H. christ on a Ritz cracker!"

"Sweet son of a creeping Jesus on a crutch!"

"Sweet tap dancin' Jesus!"

"Jesus Harold Christ in a souped up sidecar!"

"Jesus H. Christ on a popsicle stick!"

"Jesus Hebrew Christ on a flipping pogo stick!"

"Chresus Jist!"

"Jumping Jesus on a pogo stick"...the guy clearly likes pogo sticks

"Dear Sweet Mother of Zeus"

"Christ on a bike!"

A friend of mine favors "Jesus pissing monkeys!"

"Christ in a cream cheese sauce!"

"Jesus deep-fried Christ riding a tricycle!"

"Jesus H. Hetfield!"

"Nicene creed it Bob, you were supposed to have it finished!"

This Troper prefers "Sweet Buttery Christ" or "Son of a Biscuit" in times where she cannot swear.

This Troper has learned to suppress the urge to swear IRL for fear of saying one at the wrong time, so I end up playing this trope pretty straight.

This troper uses this kind of terms in instant messenger and chat-software and swears in strange languages in real life. So, yeah, another one playing this trope straight.

This Troper's parents loathe curse words in all of their shapes and forms. Curse words that include use of the word 'god' in 'vain' (meaning, "Oh my God!") Once the fourth generation of {{Pokemon}} came out, I discovered a lovely little stand-in named Arceus. Having pleased/confused my parents, the term stuck.

This troper shouts "EXPLETIVE" and "CENSORED" rather much. What adds to the comedy is when the audience knows I have TourettesSyndrome.

This troper completely inverts it. I decided regular swears were not strong enough, thus I invented "shitballs", "hairy fucking ballsac", "shitcakes", and "shitcakes on a creampie" RuleOfFunny.

This troper used shitballs ALL THE TIME!

This troper's claim to fame: "what the shit?!", pales in comparison to the rest of these inventive swears.

This troper has recently taken to using "FORK!" as an expletive. He doesn't know where it started.

This troper happened to twist her ankle hard in the hallway just as the principal was passing was passing by... ended up yelling "SON OF A BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISCUIT...."

This troper was going to add that, except that it was her friend saying it. I think we went to the same middle school.

This troper very rarely curses, but when I do, I like to mix this with the more... uh... "raunchy" search times. IE "That gosh darned *u** !"

I take it you either read {{xkcd}} or think like the author, your choice.

This troper was taking a science test in her school's science department office, also known as where the science teachers hang out if they don't have a class to be teaching. She heard one of them shout, as several books fell off a table, "Oh, CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS!" I was snickering to myself for the remainder of my test.

This troper wonders if the teacher in question was a fan of LittleWomen, as that was Jo's favorite expletive.

This Troper once heard a guy yell "Judas Priest" instead of "Jesus Christ".

I'm ''so'' stealing that.

This troper's nephew cried out "Ohhh... Tartar sauce!" during one {{Dynasty Warriors}} 3 game that wasn't going so well. And I myself have said "Expletive deleted" on more than one occasion during moments of frustration.

That tarter sauce example is from Spongebob. The second one is from Futurama.

Thank you.

A somewhat comic-specific example, but this troper has heard "Space Jesus on a surfboard!" used as an exclamation...

Due to a particularly eventful query on the livejournal community little_details, this troper has of late resolved to only use profanity suitable to Victorian adolescents. Like "dash it!" and "drat" (which I already use copiously), "mercy!" "heavens!", "for shame", "goodness", and "oh, bother!". ''Less'' G-rated, we have the appellation/exclamation of "hellnonce!" It has just the right connotations, both blasphemous, sexual and generally abusive to the subject, and-- it's just plain fun to say. Come on. Say it. Also, "Sweet Christmas!" and lately, in one particular instance, "blistering blue barnacles!" (And... "fook".)

This troper uses just about every swearword she can think of, including a few she invented herself, meaning that fuck can be swapped for frick in a conversation, but for no real reason.

This troper plays SSB with someone who doesn't curse at all. Which makes the amusing situation where I'm dropping F-bombs pretty much every second, and then she gets frustrated with a "Dang it!"

This troper says "dag nab it!" a lot, for no other reason than it's kind of fun to say. And if "friggin'" counts, then that too, primarily thanks to reading too much DinosaurComics. And there was the time when he was in the backseat while his family was driving somewhere, his car door flew open because it hadn't been closed tightly enough, and for some reason his first reaction was to let out a frantic cry of "CRAAAAAAAAAAP!!!"

I'll occasionally combine the two into one larger "Da(n)g Frikkin' Nabbit!" if I'm feeling particularly upset.

This troper tends to use the word zen to censor himself whenever his parents are around. The phrases used include, but are not limited to:

"Holy ZEN!"

"Sweet merciful ZEN!"

"What in the name of ZEN!?"

I'm not 100% sure this exactly counts, but this troper, Biffbiffley, has been trying to say "poopie" instead of the obvious other word. He has a friend with a two year old and knows from experience that kids will repeat what they hear.

Oh, Fudge.

Fiddle-dee-dee! That will require a tetanus shot. I'm not going to swear, but I am going to KICK THIS DOGHOUSE DOWN!

Me. Not even on the Internet.

Ah, Conch Fritters.

This troper had a bizarre accident at church the Sunday before Christmas 2008; she was directing the Sunday School Christmas pageant and fell off the altar. (Yeah.) She very badly injured her knee, to the extent that she almost fainted from the pain. Still, she managed to remember where she was and how many kids were surrounding her, so she restrained her scream to a mere "Oh, [=SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHoot=]."

This troper, for purposes of humor, once called an obvious lie "bullpoopy".

This troper has heard "El toro poo-poo," and is also fond of the actual Spanish translation: "La mierda del toro." Sometimes, in an attempt to cut down on her swearing, she will say, "Phooey," "Foosball", or substitute a raspberry/Bronx cheer for the offending word.

This troper has played far too much Fire Emblem, and thus has taken to using the word "blast" in place of the usual curses. Alternatively, he uses miscellaneous grunting and snarling.

Another troper uses the word "bleep" as an expletive.

This troper picked up the phrase "mother-humping toad-sucker" from a friend and still uses it here and there.

This troper has been trying to censor herself for the sake of her best friend's little siblings, so she's taken to using gibberish instead.

One girl made a swear-box in DT the word to avoid having to pay up me and a friend of mine replaced certain words "F***" was replaced with "Fish", "S*** " was turned into "Sugar" and "Damn" was just not used. However when we found out the money was for charity we just swore on purpose.

This troper frequently shouts "Son!" and "Son of a Bic!". Yes, the pen.

What makes this even funnier is that the name of the company in Europe was Bich, but they changed it to Bic in the US for fear of mispronunciation.

What the fuzz, you fuzzy buttfuzz?!

This Troper uses terms such as "What the flip?" or "What the bleep?" and her sister has come up with the inventive "What the {{Halo}}?"

This troper has started using "cockatoo" on a regular basis (blame {{U2}}). She also uses feck and "Sweet Brigid/Diana/Isis!" It just seems more creative that way.

This troper, a {{Legion Of Super-Heroes}} fan, is prone to yelling "Oh Grife!", "Grife-sprockin'-darn it!", or, my favourite, "Dear sweet Garth!"

this troper has been using "buttfudge" for over two decades - altho at her more vehement moments she's called people a "fut nucker" instead (and got it mistaken for a misspeak of "fartknocker" while in high school, because for some reason that became the in faux swear). while this troper can and does actually swear from time to time she tends to go into "auntie mode" and refuses to cuss on the job (partially because having a brother over a decade older than her allowed her to learn several cusses that could easily get her fried).

This troper actually says "son of a biscuit," "son of a boogie," "fudgebuckets," and, I kid you not, "Garfunkle."

This troper. Not so much on the internet, but in real life... When you have trouble saying Hell in church...

Thanks to a certain website, this troper will sometime say 'Fark!'

This troper keeps using 'Goatse!' in place of cuss words. Not so much as a GoshDangItToHeck aversion, but because he's convinced that it should be accepted as an actual cuss word. It sounds like one, it rolls off the tongue easily, and it conjures unpleasant mental imagery; what more does it need?

Thanks to influence from certain Sci-Fi shows, this troper's favorite curses are "smeg" and random Chinese-sounding words

I used to say "zarking" a lot, particularly in sixth grade, when the {{Tsundere}} I like would hit me frequently, and I would say "that was zarkin' painful!" Eventually I got over this trope, and now I'm everyone's favorite sufferer of Backstage Fucking Coprolalia.

Never in my life I've heard my father cursing. When he's upset, he says stuff like "May the rooster bite it!" I myself avoid swearing when I'm with my family.

To avoid getting in trouble at school when frustrated (and also to avoid inadvertantly teaching her young nephew any bad words), this troper would often say "Oh fudge!" or "Fugedity fudge fudge!" It should be obvious as to which swear THAT one is intended to replace.

This troper has a very strange vocabulary due to the fact that her parents get ngry when she says even just "dang it". It is not at all uncommon to hear her shout something like, "Oh, snot!", "Holy cappuchino!", "What the buzzer!", "PANCAKES!", and "You llama-stealing, fish-walking, pigeon-holing cheesehead!". And, of course, she uses the word, "Duke" as a substitute for any swear word, even though that's because of an extreme hatred for Duke Devlin from Yu-Gi-Oh. She's also fairly certain that if ever dying in extreme pain, her last words would be, "Oh, fudge buckets."

This troper can often be heard playing video games and yelling, "Frickin' knickers!" and, "Ruddy dingus!" at the top of her lungs. She also yells, "Bother!" and "Oh for the sake of Nicholas ruddy Flamel!"

This troper is quite fond of saying "Holy underbite, Batman!", and "What the bleepinheimer?!". And by saying, I mean screaming at the top of my lungs. It's quite fun!

This Troper's best friend quite frequently says 'fiddlesticks', quite seriously.

While in speech I'm fond of the good old-fashioned ClusterFBomb, I make a concerted effort not to use that particular word in writing unless it's called for-- not out of being bluenosed, but rather because I think it's overused. Any other profanity is more or less fair game, but if I'm really upset while blogging, expect a lot of punctuation framed by the letters f and k.

Science, dammit!

This troper tried coining the substitute "holy sponge!" After all, sponges are the holiest thing she knows. It didn't stick though, and she's still a sailor mouth. :Ph

Same idea, different 'swear'- Holy cheese. Or, alternively, Swiss cheese or Swiss, although that one takes a little more explaining. Also, when my sister is annoying, I tend to call her an Italian-speaking Greek (because that was the first thing to pop into my head one day and it stuck, although I might have to watch that if I meet anyone Greek who speaks Italian...). And then there's cowcrap...

This troper usually makes use of replacement swear words around kids younger than 13 - such as "malarcky" for "bullshit", "twighumper" for "faggot" (makes sence in context), and "puffer" for "you fucking junkie". Once, he was callled on this by a 15-year old, who, with a Butthead-like snicker, said " You should just say 'fuck' and 'cunt' around kids, you big wuss." Responce: " Shut your filthy little cockhole, you son of a triple-cunted whore. Go play with a dead hamster in a dumpster truck filled with headcrab abortions."

I felt so smug.

The kids in this troper's church youth group have adopted the humorous tendency of yelling "Oh, not-a-church-word!" instead of an actual epithet.

Similarly, this troper's Catholic school and "not (school name) safe!" (And for some reason, "douchebag" got truncated not into "deebag" but into "dew", and from there into "morning dew!")

"Bob Saget." for general "oh shit" and "dammit" moments. Also, "You SQUID." Squid is also used as a term of endearment, but if with an angry tone displays a more irritated expression.

This troper was using "Frack" as an alternative to the F word long before he even knew about Battlestar Galactica.

This troper (Rainbow) has a variant where she curses in Japanese (words like "shimatta") because of watching anime and having learned Japanese, so it's still sort of cursing but most Americans won't know what she's saying. Otherwise I use "darn" and "heck" even in fanfics or else I represent cursing in symbols like in comic strips. Part of it is I don't want to get in the habit of cursing in case it would get me in trouble (like in a job) and it feels weird to be an atheist and say things like "damn" and "hell" when I don't actually believe in those concepts. However, I'm not above making puns using the word "ass" and I do sometimes refer to my females dogs as bitches, especially the Tsundere one.

Averted and played straight by this troper. He swears like a sailor around his house, but tries not to in public places. He still tries not to say "fuck" around other people, though.

My mother is still not above sticking soap in my mouth for swearing. Therefore, around her I tend to use "BATS!", after a certain trope. She still hasn't figured out where it came from, but she can't argue with it.

This troper is generally like this. I almost always say "darn" and "heck," with "crap" usually being the worst that I say. I do have loopholes (if I'm acting, it doesn't count), so when I actually ''do'' swear, those who know me are quite surprised at how forceful I can be.

This troper uses "freaking", "effing", "damn" and "crap" all the time, and I also often say "BEEP!" out loud, but I'm still trying to convince my mom to let me use swears in my stories to make the characters sound more convincing. I got a break when a teacher asked me about the real meanings of "b**ch* and "b***ard* , so I explained that I read their real, non-offensive meanings from the dictionary--which my other teacher pronounced as "[=DICtionary=]". But my mom DOES allow me to quote swear-riddled stuff...

Some girl I knew in a forum popularized the expression "son of a fruit". If you translate it into Spanish, it's a million times better.

This Troper made an oath to not swear, cuss, or whatever it is we call it nowadays. He uses 'dang' and forms of 'frick', but no actual obscenities or profanities. 'bloody' is used, but only as a less pedestrian synonym for 'very'. Heck, up until a few years ago, he wouldn't even say 'ass' or 'hell', despite being non-theist.

Among my friends, it's well-known that my oath may be broken, if ever there is a situation dire enough to (in my estimation) warrant using real expletives. The day I swear is the day they know things are ''really'', '''really''' bad. I could probably use this for lulz (read: heart attacks), but it'd be a waste of an oath that's lasted over 15 years now.

I also enjoy swearing (in an older sense) by random gods. Usually Norse, but the occasional "By Jove!" makes it into my speech.

This troper remembers during a game of Sham Battle that a classmate of mine said, "What? *insert person name's here* can't throw for-- Cue our short-tempered teacher looking his way --Cuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrry."

This troper invented the word Fark. He also says crab instead of the other word that starts with cra because his sister considers that swearing. He doesn't give a cunt about letting his mouth go fucking batshit on the internet though.

While this troper does swear, I use "By the hammer of Thor!" on occasion.

I always say "What the fudgemonkeys?" or Diddlphiddle. I can swear up a storm though. Mainly because of my ADHD...

Frakking heck when this troper is just regular annoyed. Something considerably ruder if he's genuinely pissed off. This troper rarely actually swears but expect a {{Precision F Strike}} if things have {{Gone Horribly Wrong}}

This troper uses "Seittoga!" An anagram of send it to Gaza if you follow my rationale. Sounds like gratuitous japanese too so this Occidental Otaku is unexpectedly pleased.

"Sod! Sod Sod Sod Sod Sod!" "Oh! For the love of Mike!" "Sweet Mary O'Grady"

The F in WTF stands for Föehn, of course.

Son of a Monk, What in the name of the Dark French Emperor? are the ones I use most commonly and a Monk! when trying to not say damn or fuck

This troper rarely uses proper swears unless he feels it'd be amusing, instead mainly using pseudo-swears ironically like "Gawsh durnit", or usually less-offensive terms like "blimey" and "crikey". He also went through a brief phase of using "disasteriffic" which he thankfully grew out of...

This troper has three. The first one, if you consider it to be one, is at the time where one would normally swear, I just start making stuttering sounds (one of my friends compared it to Scrat of Ice Age). The second is Wobbuffet, and I truely don't even know how that started, it just did. The third and most recent one is "Oh crepe!". It was started by accident, we were making crepes (if you don't know what that is, French pancakes), and one of my friends accidentally spilled batter and exclaimed "Oh crepe!". It just stuck on after that.

This captain is fond of "bleep", both as a word & a sound effect. He also enjoys the mild forms like "dang", "shoot", "heck", "stinking", "freaking", "screw", etc., as well as throwing in a few odder choices like "scrub you" & some complete gibberish from time to time. Once he was in a silent movie, & got away with just mouthing his character's profanity during filming, though the cast did actually speak most of the dialogue while on camera (for the sake of cues, reactions, etc.)

This troper recently has enjoyed the roll-off-the-tongue-ness of "Jeesum-crow!".

I use: "Shoot!", "Darn it! Fix it!" (Like darning a sock is fixing it), and "FUNKY FREAK!" or "Funky Freakin'"

This Troper has a 4 year old nephew to look after and started to instinctively restrain themselves to "dash it". Then they realised what it sounds like.

This troper's curse words of choice are "SHORTS!" and "CORPSE!" . That second one's a little weird.

My catchphrase might as well be "Frakking heck!" Freaking hell is common as well.

This Troper consistently pulls explicative-substitutes from {{Farscape}} on a regular basis, ''especially'' around her parents. At school, explicative vocab is limited to damn, shit, ass, and hell. The {{Cluster F Bomb}} that tends to show up is always phrased: "Frell, dren, yotz, and hezmana!"

This troper was raised in a no cuss household, even words like hell and damn were taboo. Of course this made other people laugh at him when he refused to cuss.

Dangit to Heloise! (Hecko, dangit to crap, etc.)

Monkey Feathers!!

A friend of mine pointed out that every swear becomes completely family friendly if you add an "R." Birch, shirt, fork, arse, dram, are all real words, and everything else is just gibberish.

This Troper will curse if sufficiently perturbed, but will generally spout gibberish when surprised or agitated. His brother is fond of "Crud Muffins!"

Aw, pellets.

This troper once screamed "SWEET MOTHER OF SHAKESPEARE!" while playing Kingdom Hearts with her nephew. Her older brother overheard and proceeded to mock her by using the most ridiculous faux-expletives his creative little mind could imagine. The sad part, or maybe the best "fridge off" possible-I haven't yet figured out-is that I started using some of them.

This Troper stutters even when saying 'hell' in the completely literal sense. Therefore, 'Crap' is my trademark, while I also use 'Fricking' and 'sheissekopf', 'you female dog,' and/or, 'donkey'/'arse'. Not to mention 'shwartzendoogle', and 'Tick'. This seems to be a source of great amusement to my cussing friends, apparently.

This American troper uses "bugger" in place of "fuck" near-constantly, and Bugger all this for a lark, when something's particularly frustrating. You'd be surprised what swearing in other dialects will let you get away with.

This Troper has a co-worker who makes a point of expressing his discontent with the following string of expletives: "Curses! Maledictions! Imprecations! Baaaad Woooords!"

This troper's mother scolds her for saying "frickin'". Especially annoying as she no longer lives with her mother and has gotten used to using big-girl swears...

I know. I haven't lived with my mother for 3 years, 21 years old, and she still admonishes me when I curse (my older siblings also get this treatment). I think she's still getting used to me being an adult.

You're lucky. This troper's mother once gave this troper and her sister a (long) lecture for saying that something sucks. This troper's mother swears almost as much as this troper's teenage classmates.

This troper's mother lets his little brother's f- and s-words get under the radar the whole time, but being better-mannered (at least around the parents!) this troper limits himself to "crap" and "this sucks"... and gets told off ''worse'' than he would for, say, "shit". I don't get it.

A NPR interview played with this trope (the interview was about FCC regulations, fining broadcasters for not bleeping out swear words...) turning "F---" into "Floss".

This troper expresses her frustration with EXPLICATIVE FREAKING EXPLICATIVE BAD WORD! "Freaking" is probably the worst word she says. Her 11-year-old younger sister uses worse language than she does.

This Troper doesn't use any profane words at all. Instead he replaces them with completely normal (not in context) words. This results in very strange sentences. "That freaking walrus faced laser monkey!"

This troper's parents used to scould his brother and him for using bad words, but now don't really mind (this troper is 18, so he can talk like an adult, but his brother is only 15 and will occasionally get in trouble for using bad words).

As stated above, there really are those people who absolutely despise swearing and have never used a curse word in their lives, this troper included, because they are vulgar, immature, and revolting. Not to say I haven't gotten used to hearing that stuff all the time, but their are those who are above it. I myself will never swear, ever, and am proud of it, because it means less shame on me

And god knows you need to avoid all the shame you could bring on yourself, since you already have a poor domain of the English language (''their''? Seriously? And you should start sentences with capital letters) At least my vulgar, imature, revolting self can use proper grammar and spelling when cursing. And I myself will never use a Troper Tales page to voice my prejudice against a part of the population that literally comprises thousands of people just because they use words that I myself don't like, ever, and I am proud of it, because it means less shame on me.

Usually when I'm with my friends, I just say 'damn', 'bloody' and weak stuff like that. When I'm with my mum, though... Well, let's just say I have to make words like 'damn' sound like they aren't swearwords at all. (For your information, my mum won't even let me say 'GoshDangItToHeck'.)

This troper's brother just said, while playing Wii, "I don't give a rat's hat!" That's a new one in my book.

This troper uses "Isht!" and "Son of a mother!" The latter often gets a response of, "Uh... yeah, most sons have mothers."

Filho da mãe (Son of a mother) is actually a pretty common G-rated curse word in Brazil. It's the not-curse-word of choice for the people that dub American films from English to Portuguese.

This troper might be an Aussie, what with us saying swear words like it's no problem. However, I would tend to refrain from swearing big ones out loud in public, which often stuns my friends if they actually hear me say the F-word or something. Generally, I use "crud", "bloody", "b-tard" (literally "bee-tard"), "effed/effers"...

Words like 'Donkey-butts' and 'damn these collections of fecal matters to hell' are not uncommon here. Also 'friggin' a'. Don't ask what the 'a' stands for; I honestly have no clue.

Probably a** hole.

I have decided to replace many instances of "Jesus Christ" (or just Jesus) with "Jebus Crist" (or just Jebus). There's no religious reason behind it, I just like to mix it up some times.

After years of swearing I've started using different varieties to spice things up. I've began using "bitch-tits" in place of whatever word would end sentences like "aww, crap". I also replace the f-word with another one (meaning cigerette in England). It makes no sense at all, but it works.

I have a friend who got me and another friend started on exclaiming "Good Ghandi!" when things go wrong. Personally, I substitute with the F-word with things like 'fudge'. However, I've found if I'm extraordinarily angry and trying not to swear because I can get in trouble, I go "FUDGE RIPPLE SUNDAE!" Also, after watching Wicked, I know substitute 'shit' for 'Shiz'. So I sometimes exclaim "Holy Shiz!" without thinking xD

This troper is in the process of replacing his traditional swear words/phrases with their Chinese equivalents a la {{Firefly}}.

This troper's ''entire school'' is like this (BYU, in case you had any doubts). You can't go through an entire day without hearing someone say "flip," "freaking," "goshdang," "heck," "crap/crud," or "darn." After spending a while here, it's a bit of a shock when you leave the bubble and hear ''actual'' swear words.

This Troper loves saying 'OH MY PORK!' after {{Mother3}} , She also occasionaly says 'You dastard!' After playing {{Fire Emblem}} . And when she gets really mad, she says 'BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP so then BEEP BEEP And so you'll have to go to the grocery store without pants.' Beeps are pronounced.

Stolen straight from Sci-Fi, if this troper ever really has a reason to say anything more drastic that Shit, I use Frak.

This troper wrote a story in which one of the characters was a fighter pilot who normally swore a lot, but got a spell put on him that turned all of his curses into harmless replacements because another character did not want him to swear at Disney World.

Coming from a very non-swearing household, this troper has gone through quite a litany of words to replace expletives. Foreign swear words flew under the radar pretty well (bugger, arse, bloody heck). Mom nipped 'merde!' in the bud though. Then there is the cornucopia of other phrases still in use, including but not limited too:

'Oh crap-fritters.'

'Fraggy frag!'

'Hoo-dang!' and 'Dagnabbit!'

'Shoot a monkey.' and 'Monkey-bugger!' (What I have against simians, I just don't know.)

This Troper does this when he gets mad. It tends to get ridiculous, with him just spouting out the first words that pop into his head in a maniacal chain that makes no sense whatsoever. "Garrr...frigging...ninja spider on a saintburger with WAFFLES!" is a rather tame example.

This troperette says, "Freesh".

This troper doesn't swear. Half because it would really freak out the people who know me, and half because when I'm angry or injured enough to warrent swearing, all that comes out is "ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!"

This troper often uses "zark", "Zarquon," "frack," and "[EXPLETIVE REDACTED]" (the brackets are not pronounced) as well as "What the fudging cheese monkeys?"

As a Mormon, this troper is guilty of using the following: fetch, flip, dangit, oh blinking heck, crap, good night nurse, and my favorite being Son of a Bison!

Our people are the absolute masters of this trope.

Indeed. Nowhere else but the Jell-O Belt can you go and hear people say "Oh my heck!" unironically.

One of my friends has a nice-but-zany mom who really encourages this (even to the point of not letting her kids say "fart"), my parents are similar, I personally say stuff like "Crap" "Damn" and "Hell" a lot, and stronger stuff only on occasion.

This male troper's reaction to seeing Goatse for the first time? (after knowing about it for a good year or so, but still): "Whoa Nelly."

Ohhhhhh, '''S'''ugar '''H'''oney '''I'''ced '''T'''ea!

Ah, a {{Madagascar}} fan, I see! ;)

This troper when normally says "Ach, crivens" but under special circumstances will exclaim things along the lines of "Blasted son of a whore-fucking bugger"

Odd with this troper as I swear a lot, but sometimes (even when I'm alone) I find myself censoring myself with things like "Son of a....", "Son of a biscut eater!", "Motherfletcher!", variations of frig and frick instead of fuck, shiznit instead of shit. My wife is fond of "Son of a motherless goat!" and "Scheiße".

Son of a Bean Dip Mother Frito.

Fudgemonkeys!

This troper's high school classmate's mother used "Fuckaduck" (in front of a car-full of students!), which really doesn't count.

This troper is a big fan of "shiz" and "shoot", because she really DOESN'T like cursing, it just... starts coming out! So it ends up being a "OH, [=SHIiiiizzzz=]...."

I'm not really that big of a creative cusser, most of the time sticking to a simple "fuck". The only one I've managed to come up with that stuck and didn't sound forced was: "Santa Ma-fucking-Ria!" Actually, no, there's another one: "Fuck me running with a crowbar!"

This troper says " Mother-fuhrer." Instead of the obvious, but it's really a insult, cause he really hates Hitler, and he's very vocal about it. He also tried "Shiznik" instead of shit, but it didn't really work.

This troper and her friend know this guy named Josh who is really annoying and AmbiguouslyGay. Whenever we see something that reminds us of him, we always say "Oh my Josh!"

After watching the infamous curb scene in AmericanHistoryX, this troper yelled, "That was ''unpleasant''!" His boyfriend at the time gave him a withering look and said, "Anyone else would have said 'Christ, that was fuckin' rough!'." This troper has also been known to shout, "You're not nice!" when anyone else would have said, "You fucking twat!"

This troper's grandparents are very strict about swearing. Since this troper is rather fond of sci-fi, Transformers, and Megaman, she uses " Motherboard-defragging" in place of "motherfucking", "defrag" in place of "fuck", "slag" in place of "damn", and "bolts" in place of "shit". There was also that time she said "Son of Wily" in place of "Son of a Bitch". Her grandparents have never caught on to the creative efforts so far.

This troper picked up her friend's habit of saying "No dip sherlock" instead of "No shit sherlock". Although at the time I'd never heard anyone say "no shit sherlock"...

This troper rarely, if ever, swears, and is fond of creative euphemisms. Being a science geek, she is just ''waiting'' for the chance to use "Cryophile!", "Arginine!" or "Succinate!" as a substitute swear word.

This troper is oddly fond of "Oh, for the love of Quidditch!"

I have always yelled "FARK!" in times of stress, but somehow, 4Chan and other sites have entered the mix. I will also yell "Kittens!" in tribute to one of my favorite MythBusters episodes.

If anything goes wrong, I cut my curse short, so I end up saying "Oh Mother Fu-" Other phrases include:

Jesus Christ on a pogo stick.

Oh my giddy aunt

Chuffing Hell

Frigging Hell

This troper, in an effort to cut down on his profanity, often just screams "dah!" in place of actual swearing.

This troper's relatives from a farm in the midwest. Now this troper is used to way worse stuff ("motherfucker" is just the beginning...), but you know what? It has something... charming.

This troper has invoked this many times. The most notable of these being "Son of a monkey's uncle." Lampshaded once when someone asked "Wouldn't that be the monkey's cousin?"

This American troper uses 'Holy Roman Empire', 'mother Russia', 'dear Lord', and 'oy'.

This Troper doesn't cuss. She won't beat you with a crowbar if you cuss, but she chooses never to do it herself. And so, she has these choice words:

Holy schnitzel!

OH SHIITAKE MUSHROOMS.

David H. Jones!

Holy Snapple!

Sweet Elvis on a pogo stick!

Monkey-fighting/monkey-fighter

This troper has the bad habit of swearing like a sailor while playing video games, particularly Mario Cart. When playing with friends, (in the presence of younger siblings,) I had to tune down my language a bit, resulting in, "OH YOU LITTLE.... jerk. I don't like you."

This troper uses tends to say "FUDGE CRACKERS!" and "SWEET JEEBUS!"

This troper is forced to do that, as she has extremely conservative Catholic parents and a mentally challenged sister

This troper lets the nerd characters in her Storyverse use the phrase "What the hack!". First, it's nerdy and second the concept of hell isn't that familiar there.

This troper has used "What the bloody!" and the related "Bloody freep!". (He blames Harry Potter and Buffy the Vampire Slayer for adding "Bloody" to his vocabulary as a curse word.) He has also said "Ah, nutbunnies." on occasion (quoting ''{{Freakazoid}}''). And occasionally, "Dagnabbit!". His older sister used to say "Friggin-fraggin", though he is fairly certain she has gotten out of the habit.

This troper, while able to say swear words (Usually damn or crap), often says "SWEET MOTHER OF (insert some form of saying here)!" whenever he's either doing voices or making a comic (normally to make it funnier). He also says the Battlestar Galactica swear word "Frak" somewhat often. He also tends to subvert this in a few of his comics due to a character who swears often.

This Troper (Poopskin -- Linking hates me) has started using "JENKIES, VELMA!" in place of expletives as part of an effort to stop swearing quite so much.

It's sort of a thing in this Troper's part of Ireland to substitute "duck" or "buck" for "fuck" whenever the latter would be inappropriate.

This Troper can only say dumb, but not even stu***or id***. And it takes a little more effort for me to include curse words in my writing, as you can see.

This troper wishes I could remember to use one particularly geeky oath I thought of more often: "Son of a hamster and a man who smelled of elderberries!"

Incredibly averted with this troper. He almost always swears, and almost never uses any of the GoshDangItToHeck words.

Similarly averted not only by this troper, but by his ''Catholic'' school as well. There are at least two teachers here who regularly swear in front of their classes, and most of the others don't even mention it if someone accidentally swears in front of them (intentional swearing, though, isn't taken as lightly). Only the religion teacher, the (lone) resident nun, and the principal seem to have a problem with all cases of swearing.

This troper has no problem with swearing and does it all the time, but my mother is GoshdangItToHeck played ramrod straight: she never swears except in the most extreme of circumstances, and even then she takes the time to apologize for her language, even if it's just me around, and when she knows I swear constantly. I've given up telling her it doesn't offend me in the slightest.

When not actually swearing, this troper uses a lot of alternatives such as "pooperschnickles" "crudpuppies" and "for the love of _____" which can be filled in by anything including Pete, banana pancakes or unicycles. She also can cuss in five different languages, but often picks benign words that are fun to yell, such as "basura" (garbage).

This troper remembers seeing a teacher in his school reprimand a boy for saying 'If I don't get this homework done, I'm fudged.' Worse yet, it was his favourite teacher.

This troper. "Ah, balderdash!" "That's rubbish!" "Son of a submariner"!

This Swedish troper frequently says "jisses" or "jösses" which are similar to the English "gee" and "jeez" in that they probably originated as a substitute for "Jesus". Other than that, I swear entirely too much, except when I'm around children. Then I unconsciously stop swearing, which I guess is good since I'm studying to become a teacher.

This Troper, while never shying away from a curse in real life (aside from around her parents) often uses "FACK!" when writing. The other kids in her French class have also taken a liking to "SHUT THE FRONT DOOR."

This troper tends to substitute "God" for "Buddha", although he has been trying to think of something else since embracing Buddhism in his Christian beliefs.

Effcracker frazzle fuzz.

This Troper is often says "Frick!" rather than the more vulgar f-word. Due to certain settings with small children, she also has to limit her use of "shit"; it still slips out, but it comes out as "Shiiiioot!" And then, after playing TheWorldEndsWithYou, she has taken to saying "Oh my Composer" or "Oh my ".

This troper swears like a sailor, with 'for fuck's sake' being her favorite phrase. Her LDS aunt seems to swear almost as much (she loves to use 'Goddammit' a lot). Her other Christian aunt prefers replacement swears, to the point of replacing 'fart' with 'fluff'.

Half of the time when something goes wrong, I swear a lot... the other half, I use these while around more sensitive ears(young kids, grandparents, ect) or just for fun. For example:

"BLEEP!"

"Count" for fuck, after a certain Youtube video.

"For the love of cheesecake/bagels/*other random word*!"

Son of a cupcake!

"Fruking" (I don't even support that pairing, or any pairing, really.)

"Maple"!

"Holy deep-fried Jesus on a tricycle!"

"Buttbuttinate"(which is "assassinate" through a word filter.)

Son of a Goomba!

Kolkolkolkol...

Fffffish!

I also like saying sentences like "You *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP*ing *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* son of a *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* instruction book *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* you with a *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* so you'll have to *BLEEP* sideways."

I am not allowed to swear so I sometimes say "Dadgummit", when I'm frustrated. My best friend is fond of saying, "What the Gravy?" He also started saying, "I'll be Go to the Market" until his parents told him to stop because it was so ludicrous. Maybe I should start saying that!

I am pretty foulmouthed (comes with being a student), but in polite company will substitute "shitbunnies", "arsemonkeys" and "buggernuts" with "sweet jumping bananas" and "great flying donkeyblankets". Most of these are made up on the spot.

This troper used to meet up with friends and play Mario Kart during lunch back in high school. I do a lot of trash talk when I play games with this particular group of friends (its all friendly though), but there were rules against cursing. So to replace my often used "douchebag", I used "jerkbag". Of course, if I met with these friends outside of school then all bets were off.

This troper cusses often, but still has a tendency to use some somewhat strange replacements, especially around her grandmother. For example:

"For the love of cupcakes!"

"Oh my Raptor Jesus Batman."

"Jesus Christ with a handbag!"

"Son of a banshee!" "Voldemort's nipple!" and others from a certain Potter Puppet Pals video.

This Troper grew up in a household where swear words were not allowed, including "damn" and "hell". "Darnit!" is probably the harshest word she ever uses.

This troper has two personalities--one around her friends, which is the real, unadulterated her, and one around her mother, which is a carefully constructed, censored version of the first (The 4Kids version, you might say). The real one has no problem swearing or discussing "inappropriate topics" but the 4Kids version must use a multitude of amusing euphmisms, including "fiddlesticks,", "carp," "fruit," and some incomprehensible "Fffffffurrriig" sounds, along with a loud "Ayeee!" as an expression of pain.

After watching the bonus features for HotFuzz (specifically the one where they parody this trope) we decided to subvert this by saying "Jesus Rice" or "Cheese and Christ".

This Troper has never used any swear words or expletives which are part of my peers' vernacular. If I ever move to England, however...

This Troper, being an atheist, never really likes saying things like "For the love of God" because it seems vaguely hypocritical, and he can't stand hypocrisy. So he replaces "God" with "Eternity:" "For Eternity's sake," "Eternity preserve us," "Eternity knows," etc. He still says "Goddammit" a lot, if only because "Eternitydamn" just sounds silly. And around his younger cousins (one's ten and the other's six), he tries to censor himself, largely with British swears they wouldn't know, but sometimes he slips due to having a terrible potty mouth.

This troper's female friend used to play this trope straight all the time, until I got annoyed and "liberated" her by shouting "Stop holding yourself back, you pu**y!", to which she responded with weird enthusiasm. She's been a Lady Swearsalot ever since.

''Frostsabre.'' Anytime my Spanish (IV) teacher starts to sound like he's swearing, he'll just whistle. He called the change between the percentage grading system to the points grading system "a pain in the [whistle]."

"Shiatsu" replaces "shit" and "four/fore" replaces "fuck" when I speak around kids. Also I heard "WTF" expand to "Where's the fiesta?" When I don't wish to say "dammit" I say "Daggit" or "Gaddaggit." My favourite one I'd like to use (rarely if at all)? "You can't say ''these'' seven on TV!"

This troper used to not swear at all simply because he has a large enough vocabulary that he feels it's unnecessary. Eventually he decided that, as an atheist, damn (and goddamn) and hell aren't REALLY swears TO HIM, so he uses them regularly now. He only ever uses more intense swears when he's quoting someone, performing as someone else (making it not count as him saying it), or, on very rare occasions, deciding to surprise with his friends by deliberately letting one slip out out of nowhere. After watching Firefly recently, he has (oddly enough, completely naturally) started using gorram without even thinking about it. He makes up for all of this mild language by using LOTS of BlackComedy and GallowsHumor.

This troper and his friends have the classic "See you next tuesday" to replace a particularly bad word.

C U Next... Yeah

This troper finds that adding the name of different baked goods to swearwords makes them sound much less offensive, personal favourites being "Shitbiscuit" and "Twatmuffin"

This troper was once playing cards with her younger cousins while her grandmother was in the room. Mindful of the situation, I yelled at my cousin to "quit throwing the flippin' cards at me!" I still got yelled at by my grandma for swearing, because "I know what you meant!"

This troper went to junior high school with a kid who shouted "Sacajawea!" whenever he was surprised.

I don't swear under any circumstances, although I'm not sure why, exactly. I see no real reason to change this, although I will make fun of myself for it.

This troper's little sister often feels she uses the f-word too much and substitues it for imaginative alternatives. "What the fish!" sounds hilarious. On another note, this troper's mother and father are extremely anal about swearing. This troper once got a lecture for calling some supermodel 'hot' as that's a 'negative word'.

another Mormon here :) This troper has a very bad swearing habit( something she's been working on!) she likes to use 'book swears'- so along with dang, gosh and heck, she's got "sweet Mila of the grain', 'horselords', 'mouse-dung',.... also, words starting with the letter 'p'. mostly Pikachu. so, often times, you'll hear" oh, fu-breeze, purple pikachu!" or something like that

This troper almost fits this to a T,except he says "Damn" and "Crap" all the time,Using "Arse" for "A*@", "Buck" for "B*&^%",and "Frickin'" for "F%^&*(",and he never has said OMG away from the letters alone, and GoldDarnIt instead of,...yeah. But he'll more likely just self-censor than come up with substitues. He will avert the trope if he gets real pissed off,by then however you've probably hit a BeserkButton and should stay away from him.

This troper heard of a substitute expression for "S.O.B." from a local radio talk show host who was infamous at swearing at corrupt government officials (mostly policemen) -- and is now trying his best to tone down his language so that MediaWatchdogs won't suspend him. The substitute expression? "Son of a beach resort!" He's eager to try saying it himself.

I've found that I can get through life only going as far as "screw", which I find to be farther than "crap".

SKARO!

I've used "darn", "fork", "shittake mushrooms" and "arse" (I'm not British) around my mom. If she's not there, I am free to swear as much as I want.

I don't really like swearing, though I do it on occasion. I normally say "Oh gosh" (though I do sometimes use "Oh God" now, especially off the computer), "heck", "bugger", "arse", "balls", "darn/darnit/dangit/(very rarely) damnit". I like saying "fuzuck" because of the censored 'fzck', though I don't do that often either. I don't even like typing swears, to the extent that I prefer "fukkin" to the actual adjective.

* This Troper's father sometimes makes fun of this by jokingly remarking "Cheese is priced almighty!"