My friend carries a wire-cutter in his pocket. When asked why, he makes a mysterious face and replies 'soon might come in handy'.

I always think of alternate methods for leaving building in case of fire, and I always think of alibis for missing class/committing murder.

I used to be crazy prepared with medicine, as my allergies used to be way worse, but it meant I had a mini first aid kit on my person at all times.

I have in my coat pockets the following: flash drive, twelve feet of string, sealing wax, matches, a full-sized torch, a pen, paper, litmus paper, a multi-tool, a cork, an eraser, a wrench, rubber bands, hairpins, paperclips, a spool of thread and a needle, a handkerchief, seven safety pins on the lining, a copy of the Constitution, a phone, straight pins on a card, and gloves. It is widely theorized that my pockets are BiggerOnTheInside.

I have a constantly updated backup of the BuffyTheVampireSlayer page in case of another crash.

I always have my wallet full of flash drives with all the tools anyone will need. My brother is having difficulty playing a video? no problem, VLC in pocket.

If it counts, this troper has an uncle that, whenever leaving his house, always wears a bulletproof Kevlar vest, carries 2 separate hand guns with extra ammunition, and has a basic understanding of several Israeli Krav-Maga self-defense techniques. When I asked him why he said he's paranoid about being mugged or robbed.

This troper has a pair of nunchucks in his gym bag, just in case. He and his friends also have a grand total of 5 zombie plans, including sailing to plum island, ringing each other's necks, and keeping a meatgrinder on hand. I also never leave home without a pocket edition of the constitution of the united states of america, declaration of independence, and gettysburg address. Just in case.

This troper finds the fact that you carry around the two most important documents to the US very impressive. Though I would consider carrying around a copy of your state's laws/constitution, too.

This troper, not being American, doesn't understand the importance of having those documents handy.

I honestly can't think of a practical reason to carry around the Declaration of Independence or the Gettysburg Address. But the Constitution is the basis of American law and in particular contains the Bill of Rights. There are circumstances where being able to reference that would be useful. (This Troper has a copy stored on his Blackberry.)

This troper actually ''has'' a set of passwords that he could tell himself, either in a WriteToTheFuture scenario or a TimeTravel one, as well as a coded alphabet. He also carries 4 synced-up watches on him at all times, of which one is a mechanical one with no battery (EMP-s...) and a large Swiss Army knife.

While I haven't taken it as far as you, I did memorize a single password several years ago for time travel purposes. Why not?

When this troper needed something to balance a smallish computer on (and for that matter, his new Xbox 360) he produced books he hardly read. UpToEleven with the computer - he used a dictionary which had never been useful and he didn't know why he wanted it.

Now he knows where he gets it from. His mother was on in a situation (I think they were on boat) and was the only female there. She produced a penknife and rescued everyone. She also carries a Swiss Army Purple Credit-Card-Like Object which has scissors used countless times in the last month or so.

This troper once put a pirate hat in her backpack specifically in case she really really wanted to wear a pirate hat. Near the end of the day, she did. She pulled the hat out and put it on her head, confusing the other people at the table.

Like many others on this page, this troper scans every building he walks into for weapons to use against zombies. This troper also frequently carries around an umbrella to use as a shield if he is attacked by people with Nerf guns or water guns or something. It actually did come in handy for that, twice.

As mentioned in the HyperspaceArsenal page, this troper keeps a variety of gadgets, trinkets, and even a first aid kit on or near his person. His friends remained constantly surprised at what he pulls out, so much its a running gag that the pockets of my cargo pants are bags of holding.

This troper once downloaded a crapload of MAME games (mostly those from the Taito Corporation. Yeah, I'm a huge Taito fan...) to play. Why? In case there's a huge Internet outage, that's why!! Or in case I can't get access to the Internet in general, or in case of a MAJOR case of ennui, or if I just want to have fun). I currently have 197 MAME games so far...

This troper ALSO collects as many quarters as he can. Why? So I can be prepared in case I come across a video arcade. (What if the arcade only takes tokens and not quarters? No problem, as I can always ask someone if they could trade a couple quarters for a dollar bill worth $1/$5/$10/$20, depending on how much quarters I give that fellow. What if the arcade cabinets only take swipes from a special card as payment (as this is the case with Dave and Busters). Um, I CAN pay for a card with quarters, you know...)

This troper has plans for the following:

Zombie apocalypse

Burglary

Arrests/interrogation

War

Alibis for various situations (including skipping school, being out late, and murder investigations. Really.)

Dealing with BFF's exes

Identity theft

Need to go into hiding

Revenge plans

Political uprisings

EMPs and radiation

Being stranded

And the icing on the cake: the knowledge on how to make and get various illegal and legal firepower, weapons, many medical emergencies, every single pressure point, sign language, international shorthand writing, Morse code, and how to ask for the bathroom in 10 languages.

You're either a paleoconservative, a libertarian, or you're waaaay too into crust punk. In all cases, you're insanely paranoid.

"How to ask for the bathroom in 10 languages"?! Now, that's just insane.

I think I love you.

I can top that I'm learning how to say "I do not speak your language do you speak english?" in all languages I have french and spanish down.

This troper used to be a professional magician, and as such not only knows the basics of lockpicking, but also out of habit carries around a deck of cards with him everywhere he goes. The lockpicking knowlege has come in handy a few times, as well as the cards. My {{Crowning Moment of Awesome}} was when I was at a wedding reception and the Bride's mother had a heart attack. There were kids running around the reception hall, and their parents were having a hard time keeping them in check. I literally stood up, pulled out my deck of cards, and declared "It's going to be ok. . . I'm a Magician!" and proceeded to keep the kids occupied for about half an hour with a mini magic show while the EMT's arrived and took the woman to the hospital.

Awesome. AWESOME. AWESOME!!!

Yeah but... wouldn't it have been better if you instead said "It's going to be okay... I'm a ''Doctor''"??

No, it would not. As a Doctor, he would not have been any use in keeping the children in line and the Bride's mother clearly already had all the medical assistance she needed.

This Troper gets called on this a lot.... he always has phone,an mp3 player, wallet and a large pair of headphones around his neck, however strapped to the wallet via an old guitar string are two flash drives all my keys and a spare pair of headphones, inside the wallet are spare batteries for everything.

Guitar string? That is so ''awesome''. This Troper tips her hat off to you.

In my car, I keep three emergency Doofers. For you non-Burgerfuel people, a doofer is a cardboard shape which assembles into a sort of 3D semicircle, and fits around the bottom half of a large burger, holding it all together and keeping the filling inside. Also, a plastic fork, and three rolls of different coloured electrical tape.

I suspect a number of your are making things up just to sound like you're crazy prepared. That being said, screw you all, I have duct tape and a Swiss Army knife.

Keep it up. MacGyver would be proud.

Three words: Condoms in wallets. Keeping it in something you're likely to not forget to have on you. Not that I'd know.

Rider}} This troper knows from experience there are few better ways to have your mates owe you one, then being prepared when they forgot.

This OCD troper always has a pot of water boiling when she's in the kitchen. Why? If someone suddenly breaks in and tries to hurt her, she can just throw the water on them and run away, of course! No, really.

Couldn't you just hit them with the pot while they're stunned?

The pot of boiling water to the face would be enough.

Who are you? The Punisher?

Subverted for this troper: the Troper and her friends were locked out of the house. Cue me pulling out my lockpicks that I keep in my backpack... But somebody had already found out that the door wasn't really locked, just stuck.

This troper started carrying around "emergency spoons" much to the incredulity of her friends. When asked why I felt I needed an emergency spoon, I responded with "In case I ever have the opportunity to get free icecream without the chance to find a spoon." Ironically, later that week, my youth leader started making sundaes for all of us before realizing we had no spoons in the Concessions Stand. Cue the triumphant pulling out of a dozen plastic spoons (totally making me the hero for the day).

I carry spoons with me, too! It seems to be a common item to just have with you, just in case.

This troper has an attic full of approximately 137 cardboard boxes, each listed for a separate contingency. There are 17 different Zombie boxes, for fast zombies, slow zombies, bloodthirsty zombies, etc. There are also 13 for Robot Uprisings, depending on their hivemind capabilities. I have at least one vampire box, plus two werewolf boxes. There are 57 different disease boxes, for defending against multitudes of separate diseases, and one box of mementos should I suffer amnesia. Also, there is a 4-month supply of non-perishable foods, cots for several people, and my own (and someone else's) preserved sperm.

I know I'm probably going to regret asking. But ''what are in these boxes?''

I think I just fell in love with you.

Okay, you beat me. I only have plans for a zombie apocalypse. Hang on, I'm gonna go write down more doomsday plans and scenarios. Also, I would add about 7 more boxes for vampires, because OurVampiresAreDifferent.

*cocks an eyebrow* And everything else isn't?

I am jealous of the fact that you A) obviously own and not rent your own home, B) have an attic large enough for 137 cardboard boxes kept in an ''organized'' fashion, and C) sufficient resources that keeping those boxes full and up-to-date is not an economic hardship.

If you suffer amnesia, how are you going to find the mementos in all those boxes? Hopefully you've at least told someone else so that they can tell you that you made an amnesia box.

Imagine a scenario where you'd need ''all'' of those boxes! Actually, no, don't. You probably wouldn't survive it.

Moving?

There's probably a box full of everything needed to move all the other boxes too.

How did you get the other person's sperm?

This troper has a friend who has admitted to him that he has a time travel password in case he ever travels back in time. For obvious reasons he refuses to tell anybody this password (with the possible exception of future children), including me.

This troper and her boyfriend have similar contingencies, mostly based on a couple of in-jokes.

This troper is similarly prepared and has a password that is valid back to the age of four. Admittedly this means I won't be able to correctly identify myself to three-year-old this troper, but I reckon I could subdue her. She was a puny thing.

This troper has always had a password ever since she read ''HarryPotter'', and laughs in the face of people who are worried about meeting themselves.

This troper's got a slightly different method. Friends acting strangely are asked their nicknames as verification - where someone impersonating Victoria would say "Vikki" or "Tori", the real Victoria knows that to our group, she is "Cheese". On the flip side, a stranger who knows that, say, our other friend is "Peanut Butter" and "Broccoli" has been excommunicated has something we'll probably need to hear.

This trope, after giving the matter heavy consideration, has determined that her time-travel password is: "What secret did I promise my best friend I'd take to the grave?" Since I haven't told anyone, and isn't the sort of thing you'd guess a ''usual'' secret to be about, it makes a pretty hard password to guess. And since he's only ever told me about it, I'd be the only one to know! Eh?

Doesn't work, all a prospective time clone assassin would have to do is go back to the original conversation and eavesdrop. The only password that would work would be one you never said outloud. Chrono assassins are apparently known for their quality of research.

Oh, you tricky bastard...

Failing that, she can also ask, "What does 'SCLV' stand for?" No one but me would ever know, since I've never even said the answer out loud. Future!me would both have to recite the words and give me the translation in plain English.

This troper didn't have such a password before visiting this page. But he does now. Thanks.

This troper has a complex fictional world with very strange rules in his head. While eavesdropping might be enough to answer some basic questions about it most of it has been left unsaid. He also should mention that what has been described as 'older versions' of him have been spotted in the city.

This troper has a different kind of time-password. Knowing that I would never use time travel, I don't need a password, and thus anyone coming seeking a time-password from me is automatically an enemy from the future.

Obviously, the password your friend is using is Swordfish.

This troper laughs at the supposed need for a time travel password, when even a cursory study of quantum physics reveals that thanks to the nature of entangled particles, you are, in effect, telepathically linked to yourself!

This troper not only has a Time Travel password, but several distress passwords. Of course, he hasn't actually given the distress passwords out to anyone lately, so, they're not going to do much good if he ever does wind up being Blackmailed or BrainwashedAndCrazy or the like.

This troper is relieved that he isn't the only one in the world with a Time Password

And now this troper, after reading all this made up a password of his own. It's a characterization of the laugh of a person I know that is beyond impossible to guess and I've never said it alloud.

I don't get it, why would you want to have a Time-travel password? Is it related to some movie I haven't seen?

As far as I can tell it's a way of proving to your past or future self that you're them from a different time. There's also something about chrono-assassins that I don't understand either.

This troper is enough of a CloudCuckoolander to be likely to just believe myself if I ever made that claim. If in doubt, I'm sure any short conversation would be enough to figure it out.

This troper's Scout troop's leaders took this to heart, and would frequently take members of the troop to task for not being ready. As a result, he is his cohort's go-to person for unusual tools and skills.

Time travel passwords are a useless gesture, as all a chrono assasin would need to find out what it is, is eavesdrop on a meeting between the past and future selves.

Or, Listen in on their own conversation with you, then travel back to the start of the conversation and take their own place.

This problem is avoided by three measures: never tell anyone a password, and once a password is invented, it can be used exactly once and then is useless, and... don't get eavesdropped. This troper has 3 passwords of consecutive order, because when time travel is involved, who knows how many times you'll need proof. And seriously, if you're letting people listen in on secret stuff, you fail, time travel or no.

... No. If a chrono assassin listened in to future you telling current you what your password is, then it could go back in time to before it's been used and impersonate future you telling you the password for the first time (incidentally, this can result in a stable time loop if the chrono assassin cannot identify itself).

This troper has her knife, a needle and thread, razor blades, a spoon, rubbing alcohol, both adhesive and cloth bandages, and safety pins on her at all times. In addition, this troper automatically considers how any given object around her could be used to fend off an attacker and checks for vulnerable points on anyone close enough to jump her. Less prepared and more paranoid, probably, but it makes things interesting. (I also have a three-foot iron spike in my closet in case i need to bludgeon a burglar.)

Oh, and I keep my thumbnails long and sharp in case I have to gouge someone's eyes out.

This troper keeps in his car: an all-purpose knife, a grappling hook, a crowbar, and a lockpicking kit just for fun.

I (same troper as before) did manage to use both the grappling hook and lockpicking kit when compeating in his schools Road-Rally to get pictures from such places as the towns other high-school's roof and inside a closed Ford plant.

This troper is fairly close to crazy prepared, but only about half as well as others here. She already has a basic understanding of two common languages (English and Spanish)and is working on learning three more (Chinese, Japanese and Esperonto) As well as knowing the difference between most common written languages, including being able to spot differences between the three written languages of Japan. She also knows one form of karate, but is a near expert in it and finds the fighting style quite versitile. She also lives in a house full of guns and other weapons and knows how to use most of them. Did she mention that everyone else in that house save the large attack dog knows the same form of karate and weapons training as well? In addition, this troper never leaves home without a Maxpedition bag filled with anything she might need; from a first-aid kit to a marble. She has also written down an innovative anti-zombie plan and an external trap plan should she need build one around a fortress, which is equal parts Roman spike pits,Maginot line defenses, and mine fields which could probably be set up in less then a week. She can also make beef jerkey, dried fruit, and matzo (Yeast-less bread.)

This troper knows people who have prepared multiple page contingencies for natural disasters, diseases wiping out 90% of the planet, alien invasion and the inevitable zombie apocalypse. These plans include where to acquire vehicles, fuel, long term food supplies, a list of books essential to survival such as agriculture and construction and where the best places are to acquire them. Where the local military barracks are to acquire weapons and so forth. They're amazingly detailed, and amazingly paranoid, but if 90% of the planet is wiped out, odds are we'd survive for a good long while with them.

This troper finds it fascinating to make plans for when the entire world population is shrunk to 5% of its original size.

It's fun as an intellectual exercise, and should the unthinkable happened, at least we'll be ready.

Unless of course you're part of the 95% who die.

Which is more or less irrelevant considering that if I am part of the 95% who is dead it's unlikely I'll care about anything anymore.

I'd read "shrunk to 5% of its original size" to mean you'd made plans for what would happen if everyone became 1/20 their normal height...

OhCrap! Don't have a plan for that yet!

Step one: find wider pants.

If you're 1/20 your normal size, how will wider pants help?

1/20th their original ''height''. Width stays the same. Thus, your pants would need to be wider, relatively speaking.

You clever bastard.

Unless, of course, ''mass'' (and density) stays the same, in which case width would dramatically increase. And you'd still need crazy-wide pants.

But if you're 20 times your width and 1/20 your height, all your internal organs would be ridiculously long, thin strips, which would then fail, killing you in many, many different ways. If you somehow survive this, you have the problem that you can't fit in most rooms or ''streets'', let alone doors, picking things up is ''very'' awkward, if you fall over you will never get back up, and probably dozens of ther problems I haven't thought of. Good luck preparing for all that.

This troper has actually put a stash of pins, a small metal rod, some tissues and a matchbox in a corner of his room for that occasion (scale kept). I can fight insects and signal for help, I even put a pencil lead down there.

While less impressive, this troper knows a family that plans for the zombie apocalypse, but that's just a code word for whatever happens to come up (Democrats, Communists, militant Muhammadans, and other sources of tyranny). This troper also collects books on the subject at least halfly for their use.

Wait, Democrats?

Commies, Terrorists, Democrats?

Gold bullion and assault firearms, perhaps?.

Just Democrats? In a national fall-out, I'd think just about everyone in the government, Republicans and Democrats alike, are not going to be your friends, especially if you've got an edge over the typical unprepared individual ("S/he's got stuff, and I don't! Government, that's not fair!"). Except for Ron Paul, of course. He'll get us through....

And this troper is "considering" planning to put the 'eradicate 95% of the population' just so she can see how crazy prepared she will be. And since she's probably the only one who knows exactly what will happen, she'll be crazy prepared just because she has the cheats.

This troper told his mother and grandmother the fake name he would contact them under if he ever had occasion to ''use'' a fake name.

This troper keeps a bottle of Holy Water over his door. You know... just in case. He finds explaining its existence to guests awkward to say the least.

This (non-Christian) one bought a crucifix from Rome for the same reason. And it's working, he hasn't been attacked by vampires a single time!

As an obbsessed fan of TheSagaOfDarrenShan I must point out: If one of these vampires/vampaneze burst in wanting to kill you, why would a piece of METAL work?

Because...it's not a mere crucifix...let's see ANY sort of vampire be anything less than annoyed--if not injured/dying/dead--when I unleash the might of the SUPERCRUCIFIXSHURIKENSPECIAL!!!!!!!!

That would work.

That's nothing! This troper has a special rock that keeps tigers away. And so far it's working very well!

I wish to purchase your tiger-rock.

It doesn't work as well as my pebble.

Like, on a shelf, or poised to Ligur like in ''GoodOmens''?

Or better yet, have it in a plant mister like Crowley bluffed he did. A bottle of holy water is breakable and mostly single-use, but a plant-mister can take put several surrounding vampires out at once. It also make you look {{Crazy Awesome}}

A water pistol would probably be better, for the range. Come to think of it, why didn't this ever come up in ''{{Buffy}}''?

You need to carry it on your prson,as vampires can only enter if invited

Good, but a better option would just be removing your welcome mat since they can take that as an invitation.

Better yet: This Troper's door-knocker says 'go away.'

A bottle of holy water is breakable? Mine's plastic, as are all the ones I can ever recall seeing. I keep mine in my purse.

This Troper constantly carries around a variety of different metals in the event of irreversibly getting transported to a planet of intelligent lifeforms that have evolved with very little metal and hold it very precious. This habit originated after reading Magician

This troper has a bag under his bed that contains, in no specific order: a second passport. Enough money to get halfway round the world, in both euros and pounds, a Swiss army knife, paper copies of all his credit/debit cards, paper copies of all his insurance papers, pocket USB drives containing personal banking and contact data for everyone he's ever known, encrypted with a personal cipher that should be near enough unbreakable. Two sets of clothes, a pay as you go mobile phone pre-loaded with the contact details of everyone he's ever known. Essentially everything he could ever need if he has to abandon his house in a hurry (such as a fire) all within one hands reach of his bed.

Two words: identity theft!

I do hope you didn't write your own cryptography software. "Personal cipher that should be nearly unbreakable" usually translates as "half-baked cryptosystem that can be broken in half an hour by a professional".

This is true. [=RC5=] with a 90-bit (or more) key is the way to go.

This troper works professionally in cryptography. He believes his personal cipher is more than up to the task.

I don't know, I'm quite a strong believer in the idea that, when designing ciphers, "anyone can make a cipher he can't break" and that this is ''not'' the same thing as an unbreakable cipher. I can't design strong cryptography myself but it seems to come down to needing a reason to positively decide not to use a widely recognised strong algorithm.

This troper "did the math" on how to rebuild the human species from just 3 of each gender. And it doesn't use arbitrarily advanced technology, either. More like TwentyMinutesIntoTheFuture technology.

Come to think of it, it would actually work on any species that reproduced the same way humans do. So, like 99% of mammals.

I keep hoping someone will ask. * sniff* .

I wish to acquire this knowledge.

Basically, you need an artificial gestation environment and a means of gene sampling (preferably germ-line). Label the males A-''x'' and the females 1-''n'', with ''x'' & ''n'' being the highest number or letter of the respective gender left. Produce 1 of each combo in each gender, whose identifier is the combination of the two parents (Male A + Female 1 = Male A1 and Female A1). Place in artificial gestation environment and grow for 9 months. When these reach adulthood, produce a new set of offspring from them, but this time, leave out ''all'' combinations that share a letter or number (indicating shared heritage) (Thus Male A1 can produce 2 children [=A1B2=], for instance). Within 7-10 18-year generations, you should have a sufficient genetic pool to go back to the old-fashioned way, though I'd still keep records for safety's sake.

I recommend you talk to some professional conservationists about this: either you're missing something big, or they are. Conventional wisdom is that you need a minimum of 60 breeding pairs for short-term viability, 600 for the long-term.

That, of course, assumes using the old-fashioned way. The method above implies that all safely possible matches are made.

Simple summary please.

Speaking as someone who has studied conservation biology, and is therefore a semi-trained quasi-professional I can say that this plan is feasible if the conditions are right. Unfortunately, the conditions are never right. The reason why conservationists need a larger number of animals is that if you prepare only the bare minimum, suddenly one of your breeding females gets hit by a bus or somesuch. Basically, for this to actually work, you'd need to collect the necessary DNA/eggs/sperm beforehand, because if some catastrophe wipes out most of the human race, then rarely will those survivors have the necessary genetic diversity. I could go on, but it'd take pages and no one will actually read it.

Based on his premise of only 6 people left, the odds of one of the females getting hit by a bus are pretty low.

You still might want to steer clear of any bridges.

The point is that if two of the six survivors are related, this method fails, and even if all are not stricly related, the chances of recessive defects to arise is considerably high. You should take a step further, and gather the six candidates beforehand.

That would be CrazyPrepared.

You also seem to be ignoring genetic recombination; it'd be impossible to follow the chromosomes on F2 generation as related to parent generation, leaving them with limited "safe" matches. You're better off raiding a sperm bank and taking a risk on the maternal side, or if you can find one, an IVF storage facility. Hell, you could just use IVF to filter out some of the more identifiable deleterous mutations, although personally I wouldn't be harvesting from a limited female population because of the fertility risks and soforth.

This troper keeps the following in her purse (which accompanies her to most places): several pencils, a box of matches (half-full), a very loud whistle, a pair of dollar-store-quality "binoculars" that are more like opera glasses, a pair of earplugs in a sealed package, two [=TransLink=] one-zone passes (the troper in question lives in Vancouver), some safety pins, and a roll of electrical tape. (This isn't counting mundane stuff like lip balm, nail clippers, and my driver's license.) And it still holds a ton of more transient stuff, too; the CrazyPrepared supplies are barely noticeable unless that compartment is open. She has also memorised the formula for gunpowder in the event that she gets sent back in time or otherwise stuck in a more primitive world. More broadly, this attitude has led her to acquire (or plan to acquire) the vast majority of her skills and miscellaneous knowledge.

Wow, lots of ideas! For this reader, four languages (studying number 5 now, Japanese) and I always carry pen and paper, address book, mobile phone etc with me, and have a suitcase packed with spare clothes, necessary documents, a spare MP3 player, family photos etc in case of natural disaster - most likely, a volcanic eruption given where I live. Thanks for the ideas about carrying a USB with me, and for the link to the Folksprach page!

to the OP (or anyone else here, for that matter) : any object carrying/transportation suggestions for people who don't have purses (e.g. guys?)

Pockets are always good. Backpacks and beltpacks are also good if you're going to be out for a while, this gadget shoulder holster would be pretty awesome, and there are always utility belts... You should also consider what you could carry on your wrists. Or ankles. Or neck. Suvival straps are really cool, and there are all kinds of watch gadgets and things-on-a-string. Have fun!

This troper has learned to make her own bread (to the extent of growing the yeast from scratch) partly for the taste, partly because it's cheaper, and partly for the experience... and partly so that if her town is hit by some sort of natural disaster she will be better able to survive and will be one of the few people who knows what to do with any flour that may be included in emergency airdrops. Not making a complete idiot of herself if ever sent back in time is a bonus, too.

This troper once cleared out one of his dresser drawers, and proceeded to construct and place in it three emergency survival kits of clothing and tools. One for if global warming kicked in and caused runaway heat worldwide, one for freak blizzards, and one for a ''zombie attack''.

Um, is it even possible for global warming to kick in and cause runaway heat worldwide? And how would you prepare for that? A solar still?

This editor lives on the seventh floor of a rather large dorm, so he made preparations for what might happen if a fire trapped him in his room. In order, he'd break open his window, stuff his pillows down his shirt (for cushioning, of course), then grab his mattress and jump out, hopefully landing on the mattress. That's not the only case, too. When he tried out for RA position, he looked at the questions he might be asked ("How would you deal with X situation?"), and came up with elaborate multi-level plans on how to deal with them. Seriously, most of his interview read like a choose-your-own-adventure book.

Yikes. If, God forbid, that ever happens, please don't ''jump'' out of anything. Lower yourself to arm's length and then drop. And your dorm should have an escape procedure anyway. If you're scared of what would happen if that somehow didn't work, you might be better off looking into one of escape+ ladderz2700000z1zBmz5---html?nxtg=892e0a240526-987AAACC9A758E49 these.

This troper always keeps lots of rope in handy ;)

''This'' troper thought the link would be to a noose, especially after reading the above comment. But that's better than what I was thinking, yeah.

The mattress probably wouldn't stay horizontal, as demonstrated when they jumped out of an airplane with a raft on {{Mythbusters}}. The only reasonable way to get out would be rappelling down the side of the building.

Who said he would be jumping out HOLDING the mattress, anyways?

Better question: How the fuck are you surviving a seven-story fall with JUST a mattress? Falling beyond 10-15 feet, you start dealing with broken bones, and any further can kill. A mattress isn't going to help.

This troper, due a side effect of her mother's constant bargain hunting to save money, has taken up gardening so she'll be experienced enough to grow her own food in case of state- or nation-wide economic breakdown. The extra oxygen from the houseplants is also a safeguard in case pollution gets exponentially worse overnight. Computer-wise, she has amassed a stockpile of websites about knot-tying, Tai Chi, accents, religion, dog training, archery, basic survival, and how to use and make weapons. And she's ''memorized the websites'' just in case of a virus interfering with her Internet connection--which, by the way, has happened. She's currently on her backup account, and will probably have to delete her original account once everything has been transferred to the backup. Also, she's working out just in case she has to break out/into places for supplies. Did we mention she speaks four completely unrelated languages? French is her standby for most of Europe and Canada, Polish is for most Slavic countries, English is for everything else, and she's thinking about learning Arabic to round it off.

Japanese probably wouldn't hurt either. Barring giant sea monster attacks, with all their technology they'd be among the most likely to survive in a world-wide catastrophe

Uhh, you do realize that any disaster that requires any of those websites is going to knock out the power? Meaning no Internet? Better print it out...

I'm actually memorizing the key bits since my printer's unreliable for huge projects. You know how with most of the information we know, we only remember it when we need to so it doesn't overload our minds? I'm taking advantage of that, but I'm also writing it down since you mentioned disasters. Also, the things I've learned since my original post: lock-picking, non-destructive (or minimally so) ways to break in, how to use special effect makeup, and small-game hunting. Oh, and basic water-filtering. Thank you, Bear Grylls.

This European troper would like to remind you that French would probably do as much good in Europe as it does in America (besides, obviously, in France). German would probably do much more good because it can be used in Germany, Austria and (the largest part of) Switzerland - Two countries more than France. I'm sorry but I'm starting to get pissed that Americans always assume that Europe is just like France, only bigger. It's not.

Don't forget about Liechtenstein.

This pageless troper would like to point out that with a mixture of French and shouting, the initial poster could communicate pretty well with Spanish, Portuguese, and Italian speakers.

Spanish would be more useful in that it unlocks the entirety of South America, barring regional variations, including Brazil - a conversationally fluent Spanish speaker can get the gist of most written Portuguese, and make themselves understood. Same goes for Italian, probably French too (having learned both at the same time, I couldn't really say), as well as the other Iberian languages - Catalan, Galician etc. Any slavic language will do for that area of the world, as this troper knows a Slovakian girl and Polish man who communicate with each other in their own languages

Even so, German + English + Shouting is nearly good enough to talk with Swedish, Danish, Norwegian, etc., speakers. Most Scandanavian languages other than Finnish are mutually intelligible to a minor degree, to German. At least as much as French is to Spanish, Portuguese, and Italian.

If you are linguistically inclined, there is a conlang called Folkspraak made up of bits and pieces of Norwegian, German, Danish, Dutch, English, and Swedish, designed to be easily learned by any native speaker of any of these languages, which will be at least semi-intelligible when spoken slowly to one of them. Imagine Interlingua but for Teutonic languages.

Also, if you're planning on traveling in Eastern Europe, the two most common second languages in use are Russian and German. I have been told that people tend to be a lot friendlier if you try German first; perhaps they assume you're a tourist. Approaching the locals speaking Russian is likely to get you some VERY nasty looks, for historical reasons that will become obvious if you think about it a bit.

Also, as a note, French is spoken throughout large parts of Africa and several other countries, in addition to being a very common language used by the business world. There's a reason why it's one of the official languages of the Olympics.

From the Original Poster: I actually AM considering learning basic German. I've also learned snippets of Welsh and Irish as a result of wanting to be able to pronounce the names in Gaelic fairy tales. Essentially, I'm working on the basics of pretty much any language I come across (greetings, "help," directions, and whatnot). Not to mention I understand quite a lot of Tagalog, being Filipino and all, and can speak more than code-switching when I have to.

German is the most widely spoken language in Europe, so that's the way to go. Not French. (Though English will actually get you by pretty effectively in a lot of Western Europe.)

This troper doesn't claim to be perfect, but he has at least some people here beat. Although none of this knowledge was obtained for any kind of emergency survival purpose, said troper speaks fluent English (of course), and has reasonable levels of understanding of, in vague order of wierdness, German, Spanish, Italian, Japanese, Icelandic and Maori, plus random words and phrases in a mix of other languages, and can identify almost any noteworthy language without too much to go on.

This troper has a zombie kit. Two of them; one of surviving a zombie apocalypse, and one for ''switching teams'' if one is bitten before they can escape. I'm either going to be a prepared survivor, or the hardest goddamn zombie to kill ''ever''.

If you're serious, you would have to be a psychopathic, absolutely evil motherfucker. Why the hell would you try your hardest to get a bunch of other survivors killed, considering that you'll have no control or awareness whatsoever as a zombie? You should have a revolver with one bullet in that kit, or explosives so you can suicide bomb some zombies, but not armour. Alright, that was my BerserkButton rant. I hate it when survivalists plan on getting other people killed for no good reason.

I take you've never read IAmLegend. Zombies are the new people.

Okay, WHAT is in that second one?!

Army helmet and chainmail? That'd rule out the "headshot" and "whittle away limbs from a distance" options, pretty much necessitating an up-close-and-personal decapitation with melee instrument. I DO NOT want to have to face down Ur-Zombie-Troper.

Chainmail won't stop an arrow (it was designed to stop swords), and an arrow on fire would kill a zombie eventually. Also, it'd make ur-zombie likely to fall over.

Did MaxBrooks teach us NOTHING?!

He was too busy not doing his research to teach us anything.

This troper has trained in using and caring for several firearms, to the point of being able to make a headshot with a Glock from 20 yards mid-stride (and is DAMN PROUD of it), all in case this troper is ever in an extreme survival situation (zombies, on run from government, secretly forced into centuries old assassin society, ect.). The current flaw lies in the fact this troper does not own a gun. But seriously, if the shit hit the fan, this troper could find one. After all, this troper is a U.S. citizen.

Alright for bloody you! "Hang on, Mr Sloane, I'll shoot the wings off these flies in about four to eight weeks after a detailed examination on gun safety and a month or two of practice!"

More like five-day waiting period. Say what you will about us Americans, but at least we're well-armed.

"If only Americans had been as good at hoarding food as they were at hoarding ammunition" - The Postman

This troper's English teacher is an... interesting... version of this trope: He always carries a bag of popcorn with him, should an unplanned party or movie session happen.

This troper always wears his carrying rig at all times, with a first-aid kit, a flashlight, a radio, extra batteries, a roll of duct tape, a water flask, some foodstuffs, a compass, a USB drive, a rain poncho, a gas mask, a folding knife, a lighter, a PVC pipe and an extending steel baton. There's a lot more stuff at home, including some easy-to-understand plans this troper and his brother made with corresponding labels in color-coded files, including (but not limited to) an AlienInvasion and a ZombieApocalypse.

This troper taught himself some dirty fighting tricks. Now, I am never unarmed, even if all I have is my water bottle and a ballpoint pen. Also, I also keep some impromptu 'weapons' near the front door, "just in case."

This troper actually lost weight in college, causing my high school ring to be almost perfectly sized for my index finger. I made the best of the situation by getting my college graduation and Masonic rings sized for the middle and ring finger, so now if it's ever needed my unarmed attacks do lethal damage without any monk levels.

This other troper has a hand-me-down ring that is more than a little, ah, noticeable, which she wears for the same purpose.

Unless the rings have big gems or other protrusions, I don't see how it's going to help, since the punching part of your fist probably sticks out more than the rings do.

I think it's more the fact that the rings would be harder than flesh.

Given the fact that they're school rings, I expect that they do have large gems.

This troper achieved the reputation of being CrazyPrepared after his supervisor noticed he had bottled water in his backpack (This troper is a graduate student and teaching assistant, and lives in an area of Northern Colorado that is very dry parts of the year). This tropes backpack now typically contains a tape measure, a pocketknife, a stapler remover, red markup pen, enough gum to share with the whole class, etc., because it has become expected....

Not quite crazy prepared - but this troper ALWAYS carries a pen knife, leathermans, pen, torch, comb and lighter (despite being a non-smoker).

"I carry a lighter, not because I smoke, but because I ''really'' like some songs."

This troper carries around a lot of equipment in case he or anyone else needs it. He also caught himself trying to work out the best way to use an umbrella in self-defense, just in case he ever needed to . . .

Sharp end in the eye if you're at sword-range, handle to the temple if at brass-knuckle range. If you're talking the dinky collapsable ones, short bludgeon weapon akin to a nightstick.

This troper respectfully contests that the 'sharp end in the eye' would take far too much coordination for anyone to manage in a fight! Studying a martial art which recommends carrying an umbrella as an seemingly innocent but useful tool in a confrontation I suggest a blow under the chin/into the neck with the middle of the shaft (not one of the ends) or a strong thrust with one of the ends into to the stomach/solar plexus. Perform both of these with one hand near each end of the umbrella.

The above troper should get one of these.

This troper is a bit of an idiot, and when she was a freshman lost her class schedule (you can pick them up about a week before school starts). In order to not repeat this, she made four backups the next year: one written on an index card, one taped to the refrigerator, one scanned in her computer, and one typed up in a Google Docs spreadsheet. It turns out to be not so crazy after all, since the class schedule was lost ''again'' and one of the backups recycled.

This troper's got a flash drive on her keychain with documents including schedules, lists of phone numbers of family and contacts, files of the book I'm writing and a few other things. Said keychain also has an ornamental-looking bauble which I have found, through painful experience, is quite capable of causing puncture damage without too much force. My purse contains mace, a pocket knife, a pair of brass knuckles and two week's supply of her necessary medications. Add a working knowledge of four different languages, three years of Tai Kwan Do, decent aim with my father's Ruger, acting experience and practice in making my favorite high heels puncture flesh, and I think I'd be alright on my own for a while. (While slightly less violence-oriented than most of these examples, I also have the "don't leave your bedroom, never mind home, without them" set of hair tie, lip balm, and spare house key. Can't defend well against zombies with hair getting in my eyes, right?)

Being a long-haired guy, I can understand the hair tie. The spare house key, I can live with, though I wouldn't personnally use it against zombies. The lip balm, however...

No lip balm = increased chance of split lip = a flesh wound for {{The Virus}} to get into = higher chance of getting infected and becoming a zombie.

Also, lip balm + paper/cloth/leaves = excellent tinder.

This troper always manages to have a pen, a Leatherman tool, a lighter, a flashlight and a 1GB jump drive somewhere on her person. If it's legal (i.e. not at the hospital), also expect to find a SIG P229 and a spare mag. At the hospital, I trade out the multi-tool and the lighter for a [=PalmPilot=] with ePocrates and a few Skyscape e-texts, Transpore tape, Webcols and 4x4s. In the trunk of my car is a full paramedic's kit, rain gear, a snow shovel, rock salt and jumper cables. Of course, the list only gets longer if I'm going camping, hunting or fishing.

I consider Dead Rising to be a perfect training simulator for the event of being trapped in a mall with zombies.

And Left 4 Dead is perfect training in a 28 ... Later scenario, if you aren't blessed to be in a closed place when it happens.

Huh? Then what are you going to do in case of war? Play {{Call Of Duty}}?

This troper knows how to cook and prepare human flesh as well as skin someone else and use their flesh and hair for warmth. If they just recently died, who's going to miss 'em?

How did...how did you test that?

No seriously, curious minds wants to know, how 'do' you learn something like that?

This troper hopes it was secondary research. After all, there really are cannibals in the world, some (Nikolai Dzhumagaliev and Issei Sagawa come to mind) that were released from prison after their crimes. One of them had to record their experiences. Huh...there doesn't seem to be anyone crazy prepared yet to deal with human cannibals.

They exist. They're called 'forensic anthropologists' and 'Crime Scene Investigators'. Just realize that what happens naturally after death involves excessively large amounts of Squick and will likely put you off blue cheese and pizza, among other things (including perfume and/or lotion), for the rest of your life.

This troper came to the frightening realization that most preparation for a Zombie Apocalypse can be applied pretty easily to most political riots or social collapse in America sometime after this November. Stay away from big shopping centers, be physically and mentally prepared, know when and where to meet with any family and friends, uh....Always aim for the head...

This troper managed to put her emergency plan in action this month, albeit not with the kind of awesome thrill she thought it would give her. The RNC was hosted in her hometown and she had to carefully plan her navigation around the main roadblocks as well as the anarchist campouts and various other disturbances... in advance. Trying to plan around huge amassing crowd of aimless, drunken college-aged protesters has much the same effect on the mind as avoiding zombies... except you never know if the cops are out to get you, too.

How did you handle societys collapse last year?

This troper usually carries on his person his wallet with at least 40 dollars cash in it, plus two checks. He also carries a pen, Swiss Army Knife, cell phone, and a small paperback novel. He has also seen every episode of MacGyver.

This troper has at least one lethal object in his possession at all times, and occasionally runs through a mental list of ways it can be used. Car keys, pen, nail file, belt, USB cable, that sort of thing. He also studied anatomy specifically to figure out the quickest way to disable or kill a human being with most of the aforementioned implements.

This Troper's best friend "Keith" never left home without a bag of dried food, a gallon of water, a gallon of gasoline, a knife, a flare gun, a lead pipe, a towel, a blanket, a roll of toilet paper, 3 pens, 10 pencils, 2 notebooks, 100 US dollars and 10 troy ounces of gold.

"This reminds me of the time my buddy Keith..."

This troper has been training himself to recognise objects by touch,just in case he goes blind. Or loses his glasses.

This Troper once broke into her own house after being locked out using only a paperclip when she was 8 years old. She used it to unlock a window because her mother would not let her attempt to pick the lock. This troper now carries a swiss army knife, duct tape, and matches with her practically everywhere (the SAK stays home only when it would be illegal to carry it and there would be a high chance of getting caught).

This Troper broke into her house using a ladder. She didn't know how to pick locks and all of the downstairs windows were locked, so she climbed on top of the sceened-in porch and opened one of the unlocked upstairs windows.

This Troper keeps a 1100 page book in his medicine cabinet in case he is ever locked in the bathroom.

Or if you ever runs out of toilet-paper?

This troper has been meticulously working out a contingency plan for if he is transformed into a girl and needs to prove his identity, part of which revolves around a scar just below his hairline he acquired in a car accident in 2001.

As does This Troper, although my contingency plan is being able to tell people the number pi to 9 decimal places and the Konami code backwards.

This troper has a time travel password, with an extra password just for safety's sake. He also has codes for "I need help", "I'm here to help you" and "Let's meet up". He has also memorized the base prayers of Christianity and Islam, just in case he needs to 'prove' my allegiance to a faith in order not to get killed.

I presume the "base prayer" for Christianity is the Nicene Creed ("I believe in God the Father, maker of heaven and earth..."), but what's the Islamic one?

also known as The Shahada, “La illaha ill Allah, Muhammadur Rasul Allah� which is “There is no god but God, Muhammad is His Prophet� in English. if you say it and mean it, you are a Muslim.

What if you get lost in Utah?

No biggy, they're not in the habit of killing non-adherents.

Tell that to the Fancher-Baker wagon train.

Notice his use of the word "habit." An isolated incident does not a habit make.

This troper has taken it a bit further. She's prepared an entire backstory as to why a blonde, blue-eyed white girl, raised as a Catholic, would ever become a Muslim. It involves Lew Alcindor (aka Kareem Abdul Jabbar), basketball, and a NoodleIncident involving a crazy priest. Surprisingly, it is an extremely plausible explanation.

This troper's boyfriend's coworker has such an acute fear of ''zombies'' (the word itself is kind of her BerserkButton) that she already has a plan to survive a zombie invasion, which involves knowing the location of all the ammunition dumps near her house and finding a Costco with strong metal doors. Naturally, he got her ''The Zombie Survival Guide'' for her birthday.

Okay, first off, show her this. It will freak her out. Then, after she's done spazzing out, show her this. If she doesn't calm down, we have problems.

My friend and his dad are pretty prepared for a zombie invasion, but one guy I know who teaches in our Business Computer Applications (basically Excel) class has an INSANE bug out kit. From what I've heard so far, he has a couple of (illegal) automatic weapons with over a thousand rounds each, a modified toolbelt that can carry 10 clips of ammo and four other items, a Desert Eagle, multiple lighter pistols, multiple shotguns, three rifles, a contingency plan on how to leave, a copy of "The Ultimate Zombie Survival Guide" and every book on zombies he owns on his person or in an easily accessible vehicle at all times, an armored van, night vision goggles, a huge supply of water, food, reading material, batteries, flashlights, etc to carry in his van, and contingency plans for practically everything. I never saw it in person, but he also says that he has single frag grenade that he would blow himself up with if all other hope was lost. I am not making this up!

Please don't say he is breaking the law in a public place. He could come to resent the gesture.

I've got a full set of duplicates of all my ID, plus five hundred in cash and a single Krugerrand in case the dollar becomes worthless, plus a USB key with all my important files, hidden somewhere inobvious. I've got another USB key stashed, with a full suite of security-breaking tools in case I need to hack something for continued survival. I've also got a drop-in (well... ten minutes worth of minor mods, involving dremeling out the rivets and bolting in the new assembly) full-auto trigger assembly for a friend's AK-47. I've got another who is a cop, with keys to the armory (including, reputedly, a Thompson Police Special). I've also planned what stops I'll have to make here in town if shit hits the fan, including the gun collection at the local F&R store, plus detailed plans for turning a Walmart into a fortress, including armored resource-gatherers made out of buses to raid other businesses (of course, requiring 10+ survivors allied with me). ''This is nothing.'' The County Attorney of this county purchased a railroad car, stuffed it to the gills with weapons and ammo, and buried it in a secret location.

Impressive, but the fullauto trigger group won't fit the receiver unless one of the receiver rails is notched and may not work properly unless the right side of the receiver has the fullauto detent notch in the right spot... also, if you're planning on going fullauto, I hope you've got a lot of ammo stashed away, and spare mags. Also, in survivalist circles, there has been an "urban legend" since the 1970s of a train car full of rifles and ammunition that got lost or misplaced during the hectic days of World War II, which is, depending on who's telling the story, perhaps backed into an abandoned coal mine in Arkansas which is the deep dark secret of some survivalist group which plans to fall back to it in the event of Chinese paratroopers/zombie Apocalypse/nuclear war/whatever. Just an observation.

This troper doesn't carry all that much stuff with him--pretty much just pen and pencil--but keeps enough tools, hardware and software in his dorm room to fix a redlining nuclear reactor, or at least any concievable computer problem. Hey, there's no point in being the unofficial IT guru if you can't fix everything the real official IT gurus can't!

@/KrazehPenguin's friends pass time when walking to a store discuss what they'd do if some sort of fight broke out. Including gangs, undead, aliens, etc.

This troper works in a restaurant, and has spent plenty of time determining just what tools and equipment in the kitchen and dining area can be used as weapons. Aside from the many obvious knives, there's a lettuce shredder whose blade can be removed, a meat/onion cutter that can have its saw edge removed, a lemon slicer whose spikes and blades can very easily slice right through skin, the fryer baskets can be bent so their handles can serve as useful stabbing weapons, the cutting boards and server trays are heavy enough to work as bludgeoning instruments, and the spikes used to stab tickets can work just fine for stabbing people, too. The servers' authorization cards are sturdy enough that they can cut quite well when broken, and the nylon cords used to attach the cards to their belts are long and solid enough to be used for garrotes. All of the glasses are glass and can be used as cutting tools. He also knows how to mix some of the cleaning chemicals to make toxins and crude explosives, and what chemicals work best when thrown in the eyes.

This troper has a plan for what to do if my high school is attacked by zombies. There are four sets of stairs, and if I'm on the second floor with all the stairs blocked I can escape out of the History or German room windows to the roof of the music block. Then I escape to either the cooking room, resistant material room or PE store cupboard to get weapons, and then break through to the bike sheds and cycle away. If I get trapped on the top floor, I escape to either the science rooms (lots of dangerous chemicals) or the library (lots of heavy books and a window onto the roof).

While probably not to the extent that most tropers seem to take this, this troper does have her moments. One memorable example would be her reading up on college prospects. In 7th grade. And later working on a list of things she was going to need for said college. Granted, she was bored, but still.

Because This Troper's mother is diabetic, he was trained at a young age how to spot symptoms and how to treat her if we were unable to get to a hospital or a phone.. Even so far as how to find a vein if he needed to use to give her insulin. It managed to help me keep my mom alive long enough for paramedics to come when I was eight and she had a low sugar reaction.

This troper is still only a nursing student, but fears for your mother's health if she needs IV insulin with any regularity. There's only one insulin type that can be given IV (regular), and when given IV bolus (as opposed to over time in a drip), it drops blood glucose exceptionally rapidly and with very little tolerance for errors, such as those made by a panicked child with a critically ill parent. If anything, your average Type I diabetic would most likely need an IV for hypoglycemia as a result of insulin overdose or skipping meals.

Seconded. This troper is diabetic himself, and has only ever needed a vein found for professional blood tests or donations.

This troper owns a gasmask because a) it looks cool and b) so he's prepared incase of a chemical attack. He also has a keychain with a small Swiss army knife, a small flashlight and a bag containing some moist towelettes, rubbing alcohol and bandages on his desk.

Tho it did not happen to the above troper, his geology professor was once contacted by a man who wanted to build a full scale bomb shelter on his backyard and needed and expert to make sure the place was suitable to build a shelter in. Apparently he did build the thing, too.

This troper's father is a doctor. As such, he has assembled first aid kits for both home and camping trips. When he points out exactly what you will need "In case a tree trunk falls on somebody's leg and we have to amputate", you are getting into this territory.

You should come hang with this troper's family sometime - we've got two [=MDs=] (one internist, one general surgeon), two [=RN/BSNs=] (one CNOR and the other soon to be), one [=EMT-P=] (soon to be two), one MSW and two drug reps. We joke that any of our family get-togethers comes with its own fully stocked and staffed critical care unit.

This troper's family has its share of doctors, nurses, and paramedics. But those paramedics are also firefighters, and would probably drag out the emergency chainsaw to get rid of the tree before amputating.

This troper keeps the trunk of his car stocked with all sorts of gear which may come in handy when traveling, including blankets, jumper cables, a reflective triangle, a squeegee and bottle of Windex (people had a tendency to write things on people's windows when I was in high school, and can also help with bug guts on long trips), empty plastic shopping bags, a wrench, flashlight, and maps of two of the surrounding states (when he lives right in the center of his fairly-large state).

This troper, in addition to all the aforementioned items (or their equivalents) also keeps a towrope, regular rope, replacement fuses, a (full) 20 litre gas canistre, self-made sunshades for all windows, water and food for a week, a first-aid kit, a folding spade, a tent, a folding chair and a wooden sword in his (really, really small) car. With the exception of the sword, all of these items (including the ones listed by the previous troper) not only have been used, but have been genuinely required, which is why this troper doesn't think of himself as crazy prepared - just ''prepared''. This troper can honestly say that he could live in his car for at least a week without any external assistance - because he has already tried that.

This troper is in the unfortunate position of having to commute 140 kilometres every school day with less-than-reliable public transport. So she memorized eleven different methods to get from city a where she lives to city b where she studies and vice versa. The same applies to the city she lives in, where she knows at least five different ways to get to any often visited destination from any other destination, and that's not counting "walking" as the obvious solution. She's also memorized close to every street downtown and can pick out the direction she has to walk in to get to any other of those just by closing her eyes and visualizing the streets. Then again, she's studying something inherently useless, so it's not "crazy prepared", just "prepared" for her future career as a taxi driver.

In the trunk of my car is a case of [=MREs=], four gallons distilled water, two blankets, and a sharpened entrenching tool, that last bit not being very obviously a weapon, but which is stoutly constructed and extremely sharp and serves quite well as a makeshift hatchet. I sometimes consider whether or not to put together a "bug out bag"/"get home bag" more extensive than that, one that would include a firearm. I'm not sure how that would go over in legal terms where I live, though. I also always have on me, at all times, a very small, very bright LED flashlight, a spare pair of eyeglasses, and a small one-hand-opening folding knife (no, not a switchblade, though with practice it's possible to open it quickly one-handed) clipped to my right hip pocket.

Above and beyond the aforementioned examples, many tabletop RPG players will remember a fellow from some point in their career who made even the ''Knights of the Dinner Table'' example above seem tame. This editor has personally played an evil sorceress with twelve different active contingencies to prevent her own death (her party members worked hard to keep her alive just because they were afraid of what might happen), and a real-life sealed envelope (the contents of which were known to the DM) containing eight pages of contingency plans, including having given every other member of the party a cursed ring capable of killing them, having built up immunities to numerous poisons and at least one highly dangerous drug, keeping a number of magical items (with their auras cloaked) hidden inside her body via healing magic, and a simulacrum who followed the party at a safe distance doing classically "good" deeds to provide an alibi should anyone seek to hold the group as criminals.

And, of course, that same editor eventually came to play with someone even more obsessively prepared. This character spent time between sessions detailing to the DM all the Divinations he was working every single day to ask about things like "will I face fire-based enemies within the next week?", until the entire school of magic got a RetCon right out of existence.

This troper once played a character who always carried around a pistol, switchblade, umbrella with a wooden stake hidden inside, a cigarette box with two molotov cocktails, and a lighter, despite being an expert martial artist. The same character also had a secret apartment, three separate backpacks with all he would need to either flee the country or survive a month in the forest - one for each apartment, and one to carry around at all times - and had bombs planted in both apartments, ''and'' had remote-detonated under the presumed BigBad's house, just in case. He also carried a Swiss army knife, a flashlight, a secret, untracable mobile phone and some plastic bags. Oh, yeah, and he could turn himself invisible. Good times, good times...

What makes it so sad is the DM is perfectly capable of nullifying every single contingency the player thinks up, without exception, if they just feel like killing them...

This troper usually ends up being crazy prepared simply because he ''isn't'' a crazy-prepared power gamer. One game, he was a Dwarven Dragon Shaman (in D&D 3.5) who bought Lenses of Bright Vision (basically, contact lenses that acted as an emergency flashlight for twenty minutes). His compatriots acted thoroughly shocked. "We have a wizard who can cast Light ''and'' the rogue has an everburning torch! What's the point?" Then, the rogue was mind-controlled over to evil and we were separated from the wizard. Score one for me. Then, in 4.0, he bought a cart "because it was only twenty gold and carries a literal ton of stuff". After his original character died, we were able to use it to cart excessive amounts of loot to wherever it needed to go, not to mention dead bodies of goblins and kobolds for throwing on things we thought were traps. Of course, this is because the DM let us carry it anywhere we needed it to be, especially if it didn't make sense. His next character will actually be crazy-prepared because of being ridiculously insane.

The ''inverse'' of this is unfortunately also quite common. This troper once set out to adventure with a party who were very grateful at one point that he'd remembered to pack a few ''lengths of rope''. Any adventurer who would leave home without such basic necessities as rope, pen & paper (or ink & parchment), a handful of pebbles for distraction and of course a towel isn't worthy of the name.

You and your stupid effin rope...

This troper is only mentally Crazy Prepared - she obsessively read the Commando Survival Manual once a week, every week, throughout the entirety of year six. To this day, she can tell you the best location for a campsite, how to dig out a latrine, how to filter water given a few sticks, some plastic sheeting, and a bucket, how to make a mud oven, the best type of shelter in a snowy environment, how to navigate via the stars (Southern and Northern hemispheres), how to make ropes out of plant stems, how to prepare small mammals for eating, several ways on how to start fires, how to navigate through a city in case of an urban catastrophe, how to fish with your bare hands...

This troper always carries a small ring with her in case she ever needs to make some on-the-fly marriage proposals.

Subversion, I always mentally prepare myself for any conversation I think I may have that day, but I never seem to actually say what I thought I'd say before, even if I get a chance to.

I ''knew'' there was someone else out there who did that. I used to spend all of Algebra class going through the various conversations trees, the responses my friends would make, and my retorts. Unfortunately, the conversations almost always went exactly as planned, so I was left quite bored, but proud of myself for being able to manipulate conversations masterfully. For physical preparedness, I always carry two pocket knives, a pen, a lighter, a knife hidden in my boot, and a knife strapped to the outside of my leg. In addition, I make a point of memorizing exits wherever I go, and I always sit with my back to a wall, if possible. I also watch people unobtrusively, but that's mostly for fun.

This troper did that as well, although it was due to how predictable people in his school were rather than actively planning. Unfortunately, this made almost everyone who tried to talk to me seem incredibly boring. The ones who could surprise me, however, became lasting friends.

This Troper does that too, but he's too shy to ever follow through on any plan that involves saying more than three words- and apologizes for disclarity if he manages such a limited plan.

I do the same; whenever I know I need to talk to someone, I go through the conversation in my head. The actual conversation never goes the way I want it to.

This Troper always make a point of checking the clock at random intervals, checking what's going on around him and who's leaving what rooms in case he becomes an important witness to a crime.

This troper does something like that. If she's ever trying to take a nap in a busy parking lot, she notes the people around her, in case they should try to mug someone or break into a nearby car. She still remembers these people for days afterwards.

This troper checks the clock every time she hears/sees anything slightly out of the norm.

Not sure that this count but what the hey. This troper has a surname that, despite being short and simple, keeps getting misspelt in a variety of different ways. This troper was somewhat peeved about this, then I realised the upside to the possibility of someone misspelling my name four times being actually fairly likely.

This editor, before mouse-overing the link, assumed your last name was Conner.

This troper got lost in Italy (I don't speak Italian, and I didn't understand the train system very well) and ended up about three miles from my hotel, in the middle of the countryside, at night. So I got out an mp3 player, a torch, a pda which was hooked up to a GPS and navigated back to the hotel while listening to music. Obviously I had logged the coordinates of my hotel room when I first checked in, doesn't everyone?

This troper carried re-useable shopping bags before re-useable shopping bags were cool. Unfortunately this troper has a reputation with lazy freeloaders for basically having anything on hand at any time. Lies help.

This troper is not crazy prepared. He never carries money on him, and frequently forgets to eat. On the other hand, should the worst happen, at least he knows how to perform low dimensional knot topology.

One of my coats has a die and 6 game pieces in a zipper pocket. You never know when you'll need to play a board game! Once in a high school class, I pulled these out to the surprise of the students around me.

This troper, having read mystery novels since she was very little, can figure out ways to kill somebody with almost any object, up to and including her own fingernails. Also, she always carries a small knife (I use it mostly for opening parcels and slicing apples) that she has thought up ways to use as almost any tool conceivable.

This editor has a classmate at law school who apparently has anything and everything in his bookbag: You need a pen, he has one. Someone else also needs a pen, he takes out a second one. A person needs a red pen, he takes out a red pen. No, wait, you needs a blue pen, here it is. You forget the power adaptor for your computer, he happens to be carrying that exact model of power adaptor with him. A professor once asked if anyone had a print-out of an e-mail she sent us, he takes it out and hands it to her (her response was "I should have seen that coming.") If you say you're hungry, he takes out a bag of jelly babies. The first guess was that he was the Doctor and the bag is his TARDIS but he has demonstrated this is simply because he is crazy-prepared. When a professor was talking about living wills, it turned out this student had one. He then went on to describe it. It covered almost every situation you could think of. It even made several clauses about what should be done if he joined a cult or otherwise was not of sound mind, with notes on how to determine when this had happened. This could explain why he seems to have so many random skills, he's simply prepared in case he needs them.

this troper's preparations are rather less optimistic than most. She is planning to have her name, birthdate, blood type and the words "organ donor" somewhere unobtrusive on her body for doctor or police convenience in case of accidents, and is currently drafting her "to be opened on my death" letter for friends and family. The living will thing sounds like a good idea I've never heard of; I'll put it on my list.

This troper has those informations (minus organ donor - just in case resurrection may be an option down the line) tattooed on his body. In ''two'' places (in case of flesh damage or severed member). He also considered adding next-of-kin contact info, but since that is subject to change, resigned himself to wearing those on dog tags, and the inside of his left boot. Other "prepared" idiosyncrasies : always figure out entry points & exits when entering a strange place, always sit with back to the wall if possible (* never* back to a window or door), emergency packs of cigarettes hidden throughout the apartment.

If resurrection were possible, regeneration would come with it by necessity. Otherwise all these other tropers are going to get to try out their "ZombieApocalypse" plans. Seriously though, all extant matter used to be part of something else, so matter recruitment's going to be an issue whether you donate or not.

This troper is the first line of defense against crazies breaking into her work, which is a pretty distinct possibility. She has devised plans for people breaking in with guns or other projectile weapons from all three doors, keeps weapons stored in various areas around the newsroom, knows ways to silently sneak behind intruders, and what the swiftest method of killing them from any given point in the room would be. She in fact once scared her coworkers by laying out the plans on paper to display how it would in fact be possible for her to take out someone who just stepped off the elevator and began shooting...and they all agreed the plan would WORK. She also has trained several of her coworkers on what they should do in case she gets taken out first. (Though she has not yet told her coworkers that she also has an Xavier Protocol in place for each of them.) In addition to that, this troper is prepared to render first aid after said attack, including setting broken bones, stitching/supergluing gaping holes, replacing dislocated joints, cleaning wounds, protecting burns, and, if the stress is too much and a coworker happens to be pregnant, delivering a baby. However, all that being said, this troper has to be reminded to eat at lunchtime...

WHERE do you work where the possibility of people breaking into your workplace is so high!?!?

A newspaper, in the dilapidated downtown area, within three blocks of two jails, two courthouses, at least three homeless shelters, and a drug rehab clinic, and is within driving distance of one nationally known and known-to-be-violent cult. That's not even getting into how many methheads are around. So it's basically like an entire CrapsackWorld got compressed into an area about ten blocks wide.

....do you live in Gotham or something?

This troper carries a pocketknife. For unknown reasons, many people consider that CrazyPrepared.

I've only met one person who thinks that carrying a pocket knife at all times is weird. This girl has only lived in Texas for four months, so its understandable. About half the guys here carry their pocket knives at all times.

This troper brought a basic toolkit (hammer, screwdriver, adjustable wrench) with her to college and earned herself a reputation as crazy prepared. Never mind that every other girl on the floor wound up borrowing something from me at some point- it was still considered wierd for me to own duct tape.

This troper has a friend who's ''subconsciously'' CrazyPrepared. He mentioned that he kept about £400 in ten-pound notes inside a picture frame, and had no idea why he didn't spend it. I suggested it was for if he needed to quickly escape, and then he realised that he kept his passport ''right next to the picture frame with £400 in it''. Obviously, his subconscious is prepared. Possibly.

This troper is extra extra glad she's finally had LASIK surgery, because now she is prepared in case she is accidentally sucked back in time.

This troper may not be a candidate for [=LASIK=], but I ''did'' keep my Army-issue [=BCGs=] (birth control glasses) in case my normal ones break or get lost. Breaking [=BCGs=] practically takes explosives or gunfire.

Minor compared to others on here, but this Troper had the chance to use her preparations this morning, as we suffered a town-wide blackout. As everyone else ran around like the proverbial headless chickens, I was happily singing along to my wind-up radio, charging up my phone with my wind-up charger, and drinking hot coffee made on the hob (I'd insisted on having a gas cooker when I moved in, knowing the area is prone to power cuts). In case the power isn't back on by lunchtime, I always have plenty of tinned food. Oh, and a wind-up torch in case it's off later.

This troper had a reputation to that effect in college, although it wasn't really justified; duct tape, twine, and a small tool set are enough to solve a ''lot'' of things. Theater Tech class mandated leather gloves and a wrench-on-a-string, too, which turned out to be hilarious prop comedy in my Environmental Ethics class in the discussions after the assigned reading of ''The Monkey Wrench Gang''.

This troper always carries around a guitar pick, you have no idea how useful they can be.

For one, they catch a flame really quick, and burn really bright. So, if you're a guitar player who smokes, you'll never have to worry about being able to quickly start a fire.

This page is full of maniacs...

Maniacs that could deal with a zombie apocalypse.

But what if these Crazy Prepared maniacs become Crazy Prepared Zombies? WHAT THEN!?

Plans 4 (plural for variations): Join them.

This troper, when she's sitting around bored at school, has made plans as to what would happen if she (or, all the people in the room) had her personal gravity reversed, sending her onto the ceiling. Hey, it happened to Calvin.

This troper is usually prepared for something but not as crazy as others. At his desk at work he usually has several different things he would need in case something in the cafe was not in stock. Said troper has 3 boxes of artificial sweetners, a container of Instant coffee, at least 50 or so plastic shopping bags (Never know when you have to suffocate someone or protect something from the elements either inside or outside. He also has various food items in case he gets trapped and he needs to eat some food. Said troper's bedroom is also like this except mine for more for defense purposes than anything else. This troper has under his one a Rambo style survival knife. He also another Rambo style survival knife in a desk drawer that is right beside his bed. In another desk in his room he has at least 30 different pocket knives, including having at least 7 or 8 nunchakus, a pair of razor sharp Kama's under his bed, and all assortments of blunt objects for defense purposes, along with condom's for more than obvious reasons, prescription and non prescription pain medicine, along with a bayonet if need be.

This troper does not do this deliberately, but her school blazer contains many possibly useful things that she has accumulated. Currently these include: Several pieces of paper, a pencil, a plastic spoon, a USB stick with most of my coursework on it, an mp3 player, a spool of lilac thread with a needle and, until yesterday, a chocolate bar (Double Decker, lovely)

This Troper has at least six contingency plans for any given event, and has enough equipment at any one time to make Batman proud. Highlights include backup sets of underwear hidden in his car, and three pairs of slacks pressed and ready in case of emergency at his Father's wedding, a plan in case the Girl Scouts take over America, a series of codes and passwords in case he's ever replaced by an android, books in case of boredom, blank notebooks (also for boredom), and enough music and computer battery power to last for at least three days.

Thanks to his father, this troper is all set if the United States is invaded any time soon. The attic is full of copies of "The Anarchist's Cookbook", there are multiple guns around with ammo stored in apparently Russian-issue crates, there are multiple bows and crossbows, and oh, yes: we collect swords. Yes, real ones. Everything from a broadsword to a rapier to multiple katana (and wazikashi, and tanto; and even possibly one huge freakin' Daikatana, not to be confused with the sucky game).

Not to sound pedantic, but Daikatana's a fictional sword: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daikatana_(sword) What you have is probably an odachi: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Odachi

Furthermore, the Anarchist Cookbook is notoriously unreliable. You'd have more luck making explosives by hitting two stones together. Something you can rely on, however, is that anyone brags about having a copy of the Anarchist Cookbook is a sad, sad individual who only wants to impress others by bragging about how they have a copy of the Anarchist Cookbook.

Also, it's the Anarchist Cookbook, not the Anarchist's Cookbook.

Even furthermore, "Russian-issued crates"? What? How are those better than a normal crate? Sounds like somebody trying to impress other people by bragging about his swords, notoriously unreliable manuals, and "Russian-issue crates" in a desperate attempt to sound cool. Oh dear.

Something more realistic would be along the lines of "several copies 'Recipes for Disaster' (a more recent anarchist cookbook) lying in various places I might need them but hidden enough so others won't find them, several knives, at least one of which is in my cleavage (thus necessitating the usage of loose clothing, with added benefits)at all times, and a lighter, at least $50 US, chalk, latex gloves, lube (but not condom), a water bottle, an umbrella, hand sanitizer, and school supplies. And have demilegal (at least!) excuses for every single item." It's not just what you have, it's what you do with what you have.

Why an attic filled with copies of one book? Is this crazy redundancy?

This troper's Mormon friend gave her family several huge cans of rice and macaroni, as well as a can of apples. When asked about this, she replied, "My church has a canning factory."

All Mormons who live in areas where it is legally allowed are encouraged by their church to have at least a years supply of food. Even then, many don't.

Technically, the cannery is there for the church welfare program, but the food storage program is strongly pushed too. In the event of an apocolypse, Salt Lake City will fare better than most big cities.

''Where'' is it illegal to store emergency supplies?

More of a matter of "When" than "Where"...

This troper carries in his backup backpack, along with paperback books (reference and fiction, and hopefully soon a backup copy of ''The Zombie Survival Guide''), bits of wire and paperclips (conveniently sparated for the event of a metal detector), a racquetball, and several premeasured lengths of string, a wooden fish. He is absolutely paranoid that one day he is going to be asked for a fish, wooden or unspecified. At least "Left it in my other pack" would be a valid response. Played straight with paperback books and a compact umbrella in his laptop computer case.

This troper feels that the Zombie Squad forums are a text-book example of people who do this. The people there discuss variants of Bug Out plans, Bug In plans, and how much food and ammo is a good idea to stockpile before the risks of other survivors finding out about your supplies and swarming you outweighs the benefits. A lot of their discussions appear to be about whether or not they've missed something in one of their plans, and possible shortages of one staple or another. Further, for the safety of tropers higher up on this list? This troper ought to mention that they ''always'' advise, ''very'' strongly, against holing up in an abandoned mall or similar; the general consensus appears to be that the possible benefits are strongly outweighed by the very real drawbacks (chiefly, that everyone and their dog knows where the malls are; that malls are *not* built with defensive purposes in mind - which means that you risk having missed just one door, and means you have to have people covering each one; and that, even if you let other survivors in, you run into the "how do we divide up supplies" issue and the "how do you screen for the infected and keep them out" issue.)

This troper is learning the numbers for the German lottery of january, july and december. Just in case, if he falls into a GroundhogDayLoop which covers more than just a day...

This troper is trying to find ways to stop a person with a gun and dodge or deflect bullets in case a kid goes psycho at his school...

Doesn't work, you can't dodge a bullet that's already been fired at you and deflecting them would take armor plates. The best way to stop a shooter is with a gun, the best way to survive a shootout is cover, distance (lateral and diagnol preferred), and armor. Dragon Skin is great for surviving multiple strikes but has been rejected by the military (the Army claims they have a good reason but AFAIK has declined to say what that reason is.)

Actually, it's a bunch of clearly stated reasons: 1) the whole armor vest weighed about 45 pounds, 2) it didn't protect all that well anyways, 3) what protection there was tended to be significantly reduced when exposed to things like fuel, oh and 4) the internal disks tend to delaminate and fall to the bottom of the vest in 140-150 deg. F heat causing a predictable elimination of protective capacity.

A former police officer gave a presentation at my school. Apparently your average hardbound textbook can stop most non-military rounds.

A minor one, but this troper never leaves the house without my [=eBookWise=] (the much cheaper predecessor to the Amazon Kindle and Sony Reader). Having something available to read during any and all lulls in the day may seem odd, but I share a trait with my mom, her mom, and ''her'' parents. Namely, Yomiko Readman-level bibliophilia. Thankfully, buying most of our books in e-format means our houses don't look like Ms. Readman's. Well, ''mostly'' they don't. Further, this troper only buys books in Microsoft Reader format, because they can be converted back to their base [=HTML=], and thus be run on any reader device that ''ever'' comes out.

This troper has similar levels of bibliophilia, but is of the opinion that e-books aren't actual books, but rather a soulless imitation, and so snubs them. His student level income makes his apartment nowhere close to Miss Readman's (although it's getting there slowly but surely), but it ''really'' becomes evident when going on vacations with his family. Over the years he has learned how to stuff approximately ''forty'' books (if they're all paperback, less if they're not) into his backpack, adding more to extra space in his clothes bag. His family always asks why he does this, to which he replies "I want to have a wide variety of choices while we're away."

This troper is considered crazy prepared because he carries a multitool and a chain with a heavy padlock on the end. But not by those two friends of him who were with them when six street thughs tried to rob them. The chain (and this troper's martial arts experience) compensated the mathematical disadvantage, so they have practically beaten the shit out of the muggers.

This troper has ordered a hand-crank powered device which can charge a cell phone or MP3 player, a multi-tool with 19 functions, a magnetized telescopic rescue stick, and two survival kits: one in a water bottle and the other in a sardine can. The survival kits and power tool are to be kept in a small bag under my bed and travel with me, and the multi-tool and rescue stick will be on my person or on my bedside table. Also, as a fencer, the telescopic stick will be useful for the putting out of eyes if I have sufficient preparation to wield it.

This troper runs through hundreds of possible situations per day. Two of the more far-fetched ones are: what if I went back to the early 1800's and brought a person back my age, and how would I survive as a superhero with X power?

This same troper also has trained himself to be an ImprobableWeaponUser. If they were within range of it, I could probably beat a guy who had a gun with the cardboard tube that a poster comes in. Or two.

Cardboard Tube Samurai, is that you?

Same troper again. Current figuring out a crazy string system to be able to perform a multitude of actions from my bed, incas I would have to pwn someone who was at the door while I was out of reach.

This troper has a tendency to wear fairly baggy cargos, with a large amount of pockets. In one of the hidden pockets at shin level is a small piece of paper that contains phone numbers of people close to him in case of amnesia, so that if his amnesiac self is similar enough to his current self, when he checks his pockets to see what he has, he would find it. In the other side is 100 dollars in four different currencies. One side of the cargo pockets has an mp3 player and headphones, on which are audio instructions on how to find his house and prepare improvised weapons and explosives. On the other side is a wallet, with an expired ID sewn into the lining, in case someone steals the original. In the standard pockets is a DS (hey, not everything is useful when SHTF) a cellphone, and multiple keys on a lanyard, one of which happens to be a swiss army key, with straight and serrate blades, a can opener, and three screwdrivers. In a modified pencil pocket is a sturdy pocketknife, and to top it all off, in separate hidden pockets are concealed riot batons, 26 and 21 inches long. This, along with 15 years of martial arts, will probably last this troper until he is 21, at which time, a SIG P226 in 9mm loaded with Winchester [=SXTs=] and three spare magazines will be added in. Thanks to the make of the cargos, none of this shows through the material, and the only way one knows it is there is when they make a loud thunk when taken off.

Hmm. 511 "Tactical Pants?" The ones with the invisible kneepads sewn onto the insides of the knees, the ones the Blackwater guys tend to wear? Also, you have good tastes in tools ("Kill good, SIG does") but do you have the ammo already? If not, you may or may not be aware that just now in the US (late 2009) it's damn hard to get ammunition in a lot of calibers, even more so if you're talking about the premium antipersonnel stuff that the manufacturers normally sell direct to law enforcement agencies, like that stuff (current iteration of that design is now in boxes labeled "T-Series" and is ''very'' hard to come by in 9mm or .45 ACP). I'm having to buy crappy dirty steelcase Russian FMJ just to have something to train with at the range these days. I may end up just getting a .22 and training with that, because at least I can still get .22 ammo at a decent price at Wal-Mart.

This troper wonders how you wash your pants. Loading and unloading that would take quite a bit of time.

Also, do you wear suspenders to hold the pants up, as you appear to be describing 5-10kg of metal tools and implements in the pockets?

This troper's father packs our minivan to the brim when we go on vacation with everything you could ever possibly want. Sometimes, we don't even use something (or we just don't need it) and he brings it anyway--I'll bet he secretly packs shark-repellent when we go to Florida. I have to sit in the back with all of that stuff, and sometimes it topples onto me.

This troper and his friends have a plan not only for a zombie apocalypse, but also for werewolves, vampires, nuclear war (we live in an area that's highly unlikely to be hit), foreign invasion, and civil war. Most of it's simply for humor, but the plans would all (hopefully) work if we ever needed to put them into effect.

This troper is seriously planning on tattooing her social security number somewhere conspicuous on her body, just in case her body's found on the side of a road somewhere. Or she loses all memory of her identity.

So...if someone saw it and recognised the pattern (or number of digits)...

I figured someone would recognize it as an SSN. This means, anyone in the medical, criminal justice or other such involved professions.

This Troper has been working toward this since his trip abroad, where in his coat, he held all of his travel documents (boarding passes, receipts, passports), food and drinks, all his class notes, his camera, several pens and pencils and at least one readily available notepad. Since then, he's acquired a side pack that holds most of the same things, and in addition he always carries a pocket knife and bottle openers on him. He's currently in the process of making a functioning utility belt, and when decked out is fully equipped with his camera, extra batteries, reading material, six pens in three different pockets, at least two notepads, a flash drive with all his personal files on it, a PSP with games, AC Adaptor and headphones, and a headband and eye patch which he carries around "just in case," and have ''actually come in handy''.

This troper would be very interested in instructions on building such a belt.

Mostly, you take a belt, and add pouches (you can usually find them at sporting goods stores, near the hiking equipment) and biners to hook things to. Currently, it houses my tape recorder, camera, extra tapes and batteries, business cards, a cell phone pouch, and five biners I can attach other things to, like pocket knives, compasses, and a water bottle.

This troper takes in the license plate of every car at the front of a stop light, in front of his own vehicle, and behind. This way he can track them down and report them if anything happens. He also has prepared several methods of surprising and disabling potential home invaders, which very nearly hurt my brother when he visited at a time when no one should have been around. For the record, this involved watching under the crack of a door track the movement, carrying a replica sword beside me, and grabbing his ankles and letting a war cry out to surprise the potential invader. If I hadn't recognized my brother, his ankles would have been pulled out from under him, causing the back of his head to smack against the egde of a metal doorknob.

My brother was scared shitless.

Upon reading this page, this troper has realized how Crazy Unprepared she is, and she needs to get her act together. However she also has realized that thanks to her World Religion class at her Catholic high school (said troper is Protestant which is different from Catholic) she could probably pass herself off as Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, and Protestant should she ever face crazy religious extremists.

This troper had the same realization and is taking mesures to fix it. This includes making a utility belt, creating a food stockpile, and sleeping with a sword under her bed.

Although its highly dubious if anyone should actually read this far, This Troper is working on a book called "How to Start Civilization from Scratch". With it, you could get yourself from literally nothing to roughly the 1950s level of technology in half a lifetime.

I'd buy it. Is there an e-version?

'Fraid not, considering I'm not done. I will, however make an e-version, just for you.

This troper is also very much interested. Link soon?

Still working on it. It takes much more time than I expected. I should have it relatively soon, though.

An E-version?

This troper is also crazy prepared for a zombie apocalypse. In this case, said preparation takes the form of three "zombie kits" located in areas he is likely to be traveling or near to- next to bed, in car, and buried in front yard. School is close enough that I could probably make it back home on foot by ditching my bags- thus getting a kit... the same goes for any relative's houses that I'll reasonably be visiting; Work is a problem, but (if I exclude the handgun) I could hopefully keep it in back somewhere; fencing classes are already plenty well-equipped; Vocal lesson are near enough to a hardware store to be raided. For your convenience, here is a list of the contents of said kit (of which I STRONGLY recommend you make at least one):

ZOMBIE SURVIVAL KIT- have at least one (1) on hand, anywhere from two (2) to five (5) recommended.

One (1) wrecking bar. Crowbars are useful as mêlée weapons, in addition to their intended usage as tools. This item may be supplemented by a machete at the user's discretion. One (1) small handgun. Glocks, H&K Match [=USPs/SOCOMs=], Colt Peacemakers/Pythons all suggested for basic anti-hostile use, though the revolvers should be supplemented by having two. One (1) large-caliber rifle or shotgun, especially the Franchi SPAS-12, FAMAS rifle, Winchester, or Henry rifle for long-to-medium range anti-hostile use. NOTE: use solid shotgun slugs when available. Ten (10) to twenty (20) boxes of ammunition for any and all other guns in the kit. Three (3) to ten (10) cans or sealed bags of nonperishable foodstuffs, especially canned meat or vegetables, crackers or granola, trail mix, cereals, or dried fruit. Three (3) to five (5) commercial bottles of water. Basic medicinal supplies, especially bandages, gauze, antiseptic, and painkillers. $50 to $100 dollars, in the event that the uprising is quelled or more supplies are necessary. Some sort of up-to-date identification, especially a driver's license or ID. Some form of communication, especially industrial- or military-grade walkie-talkies or other radio. Any necessary form of vision supplements required for the intended user (glasses preferred; this

Objection: there's no fire, so if the problem is zombies that go down then get up again, you're going to have trouble keeping them down without edged weapons or equipment to burninate them.

This troper has a "MacGyver Kit" built for a combination of utility and portability. It includes an LED flashlight, a Leatherman, strong-grip gloves, super glue, bright red fishing line (both as emergency thread and for possible use to obtain food), multiple pens, post-it notes, paperclips, and duct tape (of course). His plan for the ZombieApocalypse is to use this kit to survive long enough to prove his usefulness to the better-armed tropers above through a series of zombie-stopping booby traps.

This troper wants to get a grant to create a RealLife version of Memory Alpha, possibly on the moon, where it'll be safe from geological phenomena. Every book, magazine, academic paper, reference web page, movie, and piece of music produced would have a copy stored there as [=HTML=], [=VOB=]/[=MP4=] or [=MP3=], as the case may be. The system would consist of at least three server racks (tentatively codenamed Mario, Luigi and Link) on separate, multiply redundant power supplies. The servers would backup to and error-check each other. In the event of a disaster that makes us unable to reach Memory Alpha, it's been planned for. Included on the server program is a "deadman switch" protocol. If it does not receive an "all is well" signal every predetermined period (say, every six months), the protocol would trigger and copy all contents to earthbound servers (one to a continent), so the humans would have that data to make use of, since our creations contain the sum of our civilization.

What if they blow up the Moon, though?

I'm a big believer in redundancy as a safety mechanism. Were I designing a FlyingCar, the system keeping it in the air would have 5 levels of backup, and would be programmed to set down at the closest safe spot if 3 went down. Might cost more, but a spotless safety record is worth it for something like that, don't you think?

Just download the whole of Wikipedia and blast the hard drive with all that data to the moon. Repeat every six months. Surely that'd do the job every bit as well?

This troper suggests, so as to avoid a problem encountered with a similar program in the Shannara series (namely, post-nuclear holocaust societies may not have the tech to read digital information) that printouts be kept as well. Also, especially for the most important stuff, it should definitely be in every known language just in case.

This troper already has a Reelect Palin 2016 sign.

This Australian troper is preparing his "Kevin '11" chant.

This troper is regarded as the CrazyPrepared youth group advisor at her church. On youth outings, she carries a very large zippered binder with a shoulder strap and, on overnights, a tackle box. Between the two containers, they have everything she figures they may possibly need at some point, starting with a Bible. There's a notebook, several pens, a day planner, a first aid kit (bandages, painkillers, cold medicine, Q-tips, antibiotic ointment, alcohol swabs, stomach medicine, and tweezers), travel laundry supplies, a travel sewing kit, an eyeglass repair kit, a calculator, a small pair of scissors, a multi-purpose tool with flashlight, a portable flash drive, an umbrella, extra batteries for her digital camera, a ruler, glue, a box of crayons, a stapler, a magnifying glass, lip balm, chewing gum, hand sanitizer, hand cream, contact lens solution, a Sharpie marker, feminine hygiene supplies, contact information for all the kids' parents, printed directions to anyplace they've ever been or are likely to go, spare keys to the church, granola bars, a deck of playing cards, a crank-powered radio, and one dollar in quarters for the soda machine.

This troper has a character whose entire thing is his crazy-preparedness for conspiracies, and MacGyvering things together- he's used a leadfoil blanket from his nuclear apocalypse kit to allow a radioactively charged metallic superhero to discharge safely, and [=MacGyvered=] a defibrilator from a calculator cell, a cell phone battery, an emergency pack of double-A's, and plastic covered paperclips.

This troper and two of her friends have sidelined one class (World History with the football coach) for an entire week on this topic. We were discussing various coups throughout the world, when Friend A "innocently" wondered what she should do should a coup come to America. Over the next week, we came up with a pretty sweet plan. Our class and various other people worth saving would head out to a hockey/tennis barn that was out in the middle of nowhere, but only about 10 miles away from most people's homes and our school. Football Coach would use his linebackers to help him ransack/shoplift the local superstores to get supplies, which they would carry back to the Barn in a linebacker's eighteen wheeler. Since this is taking place in a military base town, and quite a few kids in the class are military brats, we've located stockpiles of weaponry, and also plan to use the eighteen wheeler to transport this to the barn, which is the best possible place in twenty miles for use as a base. It has 6 doors, 4 of which are located in the same place (making it easy as hell to defend), is very large, it has multiple woodburning fireplaces for heat, AND a room where we can lock up/observe the mutineers. Also note that we plan to take the school librarian and janitor along for the librarian's psychology and agriculture engineering (god forbid refer to it as farming) skills and for valuable car/general maitenance skills. The barn also has a large supply of [=DippinDots=]. We would be set.

My father bought a gas mask shortly after 9/11, seriously. I am also teaching myself LeParkour and how to use various tools as weapons. And I am trying to learn some MacGyver type stuff as well.

I am not nearly as prepared as some tropers, but I make it a point to always carry around: at least 3 multitools (each with a knife blade), at least 2 additional knives (4 when possible but the added 2 are larger, so until I rig sheaths for them it depends on my pocket space), a space pen, a lighter, and a rod of iron that I can wrap my fist around to give my punch a heftier...punch. I also taught myself left-handedness so I can afford to lose my right hand if it ever happens, and I have plans to learn as many new languages as possible as well as practice my knife throwing, and maybe even gun practice (damn Canadian Firearms Act). I've also started martial arts training. Finally, as the most unusual (although not most useful), I never wear a coat or long pants in the winter (and I mean never). Sure, I may get funny looks while I'm strolling around in a t-shirt and shorts while it's -20 Celsius ''now'', but we'll see who's laughing when the nuclear winter comes around and I'm perfectly comfortable and all you losers are whining about the cold.

This troper (the one with the fictional world in his head near the top) has right now in his pants pockets: 1 phone, 1 scientific calculator, 12 paperclips 4 of which are not vinyl covered, 3 pens (one of which actually writes, the other two are used as a tool and a secret compartment), 1 pencil, around 100 blank index cards, a magnifying glass, and an sd memory card containing a video to himself in case he has amnesia. The video also considers that he may be in a disaster at the same time, and that the amnesia could have been forced, or even voluntary. He also usually carries a Rubik's Cube in his sweater pocket.

Two questions. If you were amnesiac how would you know to play the sd card? Also, what would you use to play the sd card? If you're in a location where you don't A. have access to a card reader ''and'' B. Know to actually care about the damn thing, then your plan falls apart. You need to get a portable reader, and you should use one of those index cards to write instructions to your amnesiac self to use the card, and you need to figure out a way to make sure you'll take the note seriously. If you have a device that reads the card, that means you also need to have back-up power like spare batteries. Also, out of curiosity, what's in the secret compartment pen? So I aguess it was actually three questions then...

Reading this TroperTales page has convinced this troper she isn't crazy prepared ''enough''. She's already preparing an Ultimate Checklist of Crazy Preparedness, starting by acquiring a larger purse. Then the emergency credit cards, the kubotan, the pepper spray, the lighter, the multitool, whatever knife is legal to carry concealed in my state, a set of USB drives...

I'm right there with you. I think my first task will be listing the various situations in which I might find myself in order of probability, and then proceeding to gather materials for the most common situations first.

This Trope has been working on multiple plans for almost any situation ranging from car crashes to Armageddon and The Revenge War, yes, she is prepared for the final battle between good and evil, AND the entire human race being attacked by genetically engineered sex-crazed superweapons. Invariably all ideas involve her personal portfolio which contains all important personal information...and a selection of porn.

This troper always called dibs on bags of holding in favor of new and fancy weapons, spellbooks and so forth. Certainly the + 5 flaming sword of doomy doom was impressive but the ability to carry two of everything on the equipment list easily trumped that in this tropers view. (why two? In case the first one breaks)

This troper thought he was not really that much crazy prepared, but reading this page made him reconsider: He has fairly large "what-if" library, including books on various languages (in case he needs to learn them very fast), survival and military tactics and science (to save time redicovering everything) He has army-grade secure container next to bed with stuff like: mini fishing pole, binoculars, big hammer, home-made sword, various tools, some gunpowder & matches & reloading kit, chemistry glassware & compounds used for analysis (along with how-to book), medical supplies, Detailed army map of his country that is 7x4 meters unfolded (not as hard to acquire as it would appear, army guys were just too lazy to shred older one when they got updated replacement)... Outside container, he knows exact locations of most shotguns within 5 mile range (since he know mebers of local hunter association and where they live) (and is living 4 mile from munition factory, which is going to be his and his groups refuge for obvious reasons), locations of several closest building under construction (in case he needs materials for converting his house to fortress; since it has 1 meter thick walls, is on top of hill/cliff thanks to being very old, is not as insane as it sounds) and locations of all farms withing 20 miles (he plans to set all animals free after humanity is wiped so that they don't die due to lack of care from humans). This is not crazy, is it?

Only if you expect herd animals (like cows) to survive in the wild without being eaten. You might be better off keeping (some, not several farms' worth) the animals for your own use, especially cows and/or animals you can shear for fabric-making.

This Troper is prepared for most situations. He does have a time travel password, and a plan for killing each of his friends, should the need arise. He has text file copies of every GameFAQs Walkthrough he has ever ''referenced''. His chief laptop is from 2004, simply in case of a need for a bludgeoning weapon. He also still has the compressed version of everything he has ever downloaded and kept, just in case. He once built a ''MagicTheGathering'' deck with nothing but counterspell-type cards. He's currently working on a plan to avert the entirety of ''TheDayAfterTomorrow''. He also has a picture of David Xanatos in his wallet. Why? Because. Finally, he knows ''all'' of the human body's weak points and how to reach them with any conceivable implement. Except an ion cannon, but he's getting there. You never know when a planet-sized human might show up.

This troper, at all times, carries a bag containing a complete tool set with hammer, screwdriver with 26 different insert types, tape measure, level, etc., a box of various nails, brads, and hooks, an MP3 player with headphones that doubles as a flash drive and a 250 GB passport drive with a connecting cable for both, a flashlight, an emergency sewing repair kit, safety goggles, several different types of batteries, the majority of a first aid kit (needs to refill the band-aids), a cell phone wherein every name is coded so no one will recognize them but herself, at least one pen of every available color (including one pen that contains 10 separate colors), a mini-notebook, the majority of a makeup case and ponytail holders, an extendable pole with a magnet at the end that doubles as a switch, and small toys. Further, she has plans to add a calculator with conversions between metric and American styles of measurement and some kind of durable food product as soon as she finds some she likes. She has stated to several peoples her intention to turn her purse into a TARDIS. This doesn't even get into the various styles of debit, credit, discount, and gift cards she carries just in case she winds up in a variety of stores.

In this troper's school bag there is a pocket that, although originally inteded for a laptop (which he doesn't have), contains the following: a complete first aid kit put into a ziplock storage back, 50 ft of rope, a roll of duct tape, a waterskin (filled, of course), emergency food (2 cans of spam and a half-dozen granola bars), a compass, a hobo tool (Those things are nifty. In case you don't know, they're like a pocket knife for eating; they've got a knife, fork, spoon, can/bottle opener, and cork screw. Also they separate into two pieces, but I digress...) a multitool, a flashlight, a lighter, hand warmers, a pair of gloves, a pair of thick socks, and a scarf. He got the idea from the name of the bag. It's from Think Geek and is called the Bag of Holding. Essentially this troper decided to put together an adventuring kit. Now all he needs is that 10 foot pole...

This troper has a house literally ''filled'' with weapons, and most of them aren't because of me. Also, because we live in Canada, my family doesn't have anything for guns. Anyway, complete list of anti zombie/robber/android/cyborg/alien/immortal dragon weapons:

Several books that double as weapons (''DarkTower VII'' across the jaw; you're not getting back up for a while)

This (fellow Canadian) troper has "The Complete Windows Vista Desk Reference" (9 books in 1!) for the same purpose.

A great deal of knives in the kitchen. If I can get down there--difficult, but not impossible--any potential foes are more or less (metaphorically, NOT literally) raped.

Power tools, although they aren't as accesible.

also, if there is some sort of apocalypse, while everyone else is trying to find bolt-action cheap-as-hell hunting rifles, I'll be going for bongs and books. Anathem looks like it would be both a hell of a read and a hell of a weapon, Battlefield:Earth would ''FINALLY'' be good for something, and bongs...well, there's the "recreation" (IfYouKnowWhatIMean) aspect, as well as a decent emergency weapon. Oh, and did I mention the nearby military base? With underground "secret" (Everyone knew there was SOMETHING underneath the lake like thirty years ago, when they built it. And now it's open to the public. Well, some of it, anyway...) tunnel that has, as far as I know, few entrances. It's from the cold war, so it's probably semi-zombie proof.

This troper has been learning various illegal but, in the event of a ZombieApocalypse, highly valuable skills since he was 13, including how to hotwire conventional vehicles, how to pick almost any conventional mechanical lock, and how to break glass without injuring himself.

This troper has a time travel password good back to a little before age 13 (it's actually the identity of the one he lost his virginity to, which only two other people know), and him and his friends have come up with a plan in case of zombies that is very detailed...

You lost your virginity before the age of 13? Isn't that kinda illegal?

Not in Mexico, if that where he/she lives. And besides, since when has something being illegal stopped someone?

This troper has written an anti-suicide note and hidden it away just in case someone murders him and tries to pass it off as a suicide.

This troper has few people she's close to, but these are people she's ''really'' close to. Close as in, she knows so much about them and their particular psychologies that she has, at least, one HannibalLecture ready for each of them. These people include her parents, relatives, teachers, friends and a couple of enemies. She became close to the latter ones in order to figure out how to HannibalLecture them.

Update on this. She finally got to use one of her Lectures, on her obsessively stalking ex-boyfriend. And it was absolutely ''awesome''.

this troper is arguably a walking subversion. Fannypack (that's a purse you wear around your waist) containing wallet, keys, change, CellPhone, notebook, mechanical pencil, tissues (I'm prone to getting colds) and ''three pens''. In the case of the last two, redundancy is useful because other people often don't carry those things around. On top of that, this troper always stuffs an average of two books, one coat (in case of rain), cassette player, spare cassette(s), headphones, ''other'' notebook and various documents into the backpack when going anywhere, just in case they might be needed. This troper also chronically overpacks when going out on a trip. Despite all that, if there's ever anything ''specific'' the troper needs to bring along (say, a power cord for the laptop), there's at least a one-in-five chance it'll be forgotten and left behind.

This page has inspired this troper to start preparing. He has already come up with a series of questions that only he knows the answer to in case he meets someone purporting to be him from the future (that's a series of questions, not just one), plans to fill an MP3 player with useful information for various eventualities so he doesn't have to memorise it, plans to fill his phone with pictures of things like a knife and fork or a toilet in case he finds himself in a foreign country where no-one speaks English and he needs to ask for directions, hopes to teach himself several different foreign languages to reduce the likelyhood of needing to use said photos, and is going to look for a wind-up generator to provide his phone and MP3 player with power in an emergency. He is certain he will have more ideas once he's got some sleep.

Though a mild case compared to others on this last, this troper has learned a bandana is a very useful thing to have on oneself. Through personal experience, She’s learned it can be used to tie back hair and keep it out of the eyes, wipe up spills, cover the mouth and eyes from dust, wrap a wound, signal someone if it’s brightly colored, bundle numerous small things in, as a prop in a skit, and as a fashion accessory. As such, she always has one on herself.

You should always know where your towel is at.

I added a bandana to my supplies a week after reading that, and it's already proved invaluable. You, gender neutral term indicating seniority, are brilliant.

A member of a site this troper frequents once made a donation to the site by giving the webmaster the location of some money he had hidden while travelling through the webmaster's hometown, just in case he should come that way again and be in trouble. (We didn't ask if he had similar caches in other cities or how he remembered them all.)

This troper is working on "Alien Invasion Contingency Plan 3". Which sounds impressive until you learn that plans 1 and 2 are "surrender" and "hide under the bed".

However, inspired by this page, he's begun planning his "Everything Goes Straight To Hell Kit" (although not purchasing anything yet). It includes steak knives (fer stabbin' an' eatin'), magnesium (for faking flash grenades and igniting thermite), thermite, a few good books (preferably including the works of Ragnar "Disable The Drive On That M1 Abrams" Benson), a kevlar vest, and piles of coins (vending machines, trade, and adding weight to punches), and a full set of polyhedral dice (because judging by all these examples, including references to monk levels, at least one of the survivors of the inevitable Zetan invasion will be a [=DnD=] player). For a slightly bizarre section, he has found himself looking at the roof of the building he's in and noting it would be a good place to mount a rocket launcher or heavy machine gun.

This troper has with her at all times her earphones, hand sanitizer, watch, a mechanical pencil (sharp!), extra lead, an eraser, her favorite knife, a USB, a tangerine, her car keys, two AAA batteries, a sweater, extra feminine care products, a water bottle, a notebook and extra paper, several pens, napkins, a plastic bag, aluminum foil, her school supplies (in her backpack), various medications she'll probably never need, a screwdriver, the computer she's typing this entry on, and its charger.

She also has several other things she likes to carry around but cannot due to annoying school laws. Being a month from graduating with your college acceptance on the line tends to keep your objects on the safe, legal side.

This Troper just thought of the ultimate tool for a Crazy Prepared person:

A Swiss Army Knife, with a built in Duct Tape dispenser, Superglue dispenser, and can of WD-40. Just to be on the extra prepared sied, the knife blade would actually be the size of a machette, but it would collapse into sections like all the toy lightsabers. Oh, and if you added in a lighter, you'd be able to make a flamethrower if necessary. I now know what I'll be doing over the summer.

This troper feels obligated to point out that such a tool would be unhandy and lack redundancy. Bags exist for a reason.

This troper woke one night to find a cranefly navigating its way across her ceiling. I can take bugs by myself if no other option presents itself, but luckily I'm usually able to fallback on one of my brothers to take care of the ickynasties. The moment happened when I went down to my brother's room and told him about the cranefly. He nodded calmly, removed his earphones, and then with absolutely no change in his expression, reached under his bed to pull out a broom. The sheer professionality of his movements left me in skits for a while afterwards; bugs caught in rooms doesn't happen very often, but all those strategy games must have left some definite impact on his contigency planning ability. [Note: The cranefly was summarily disposed of in record time.]

This Troper plans on Tattooing his name, address, date of birth, and other personal information onto his chest in case of retrograde amnesia. This Troper is also planning on buying a notebook in case of anterograde amnesia, is memorizing 5 codes incase of traveling to future/past self, as well as code names in case of being unable to identify himself to his friends by facial feature, such as a facial distortion, or plastic surgery, or change of body, including species and gender. This Troper is paranoia nearing its finest.

This troper's purse weighs about five pounds. She's astounded people with the situations she's helped in. Fortunately, she hasn't had to use the seizure medication yet.

This Troper kept a copy of {{Cloverfield}} in his backpack, in case the need to watch it arose. One Halloween, his French teacher said, "We could watch a horror movie today with French subtitles, but I forgot to bring it, so I guess it's busywork for everyone". Out comes the DVD, in its limited-edition steel case.

This troper has a self-made guide for what to do if she ever gets sucked into a Pokemon game. Part of it include the names and order of every Pokemon in the National Dex, the names/movesets of every Pokemon I have (in all of my games, including my deleted-but-epic Sapphire file), a sketch of a map of every region except for the PKMN Ranger/PKMN XD/PKMN Mystery Dungeons regions, and a comprehensive guide on how to get out of the game. Sadly, no .

It's too late for this troper to prepare for a vampire apocalypse, Twilight apparently already placed vampires here. And I can't forget to mention the fangirls.

Troper here has a slight preparation for some situations. First and all, argument techniques that only won't work in extremely stubborn people (and she's working on it). Then, she has most emergency procedures in her memory, in case people get hurt, or, in an unlikely case, enters the birthing process. Said troper tells everything to her family in case she becomes amnesiac, and doesn't really trust computers because they crash really often at her hands at the worst times (and paper would be unlikely, as her handwriting is not really understandable). She already informed of most of her will, including organ donation, and asked for euthanasia in case she becomes vegetative, even though it's illegal in her country (bunch of retrogrades). She has orange belt level of Judo, slight knowledge of Japanese, great understanding of Spanish, and, as you can see, her English is rather good (first language is Portuguese). She even has psychological plans in case drug dealers invade her house (i.e. make them comfy, and put calming drugs on their food while they aren't looking, as they'll be too busy watching cable TV; she lives in Rio de Janeiro, so, the chances are a bit high). She doesn't believe in zombies or vampires, and, if there ever happen to be an invasion, she'll willingly head to the cooler side, as she has quite the suicidal tendency. Except if they sparkle. She's already going to provide sunglasses, as there's already alcohol and lighter in the place.

This troper never leaves his dorm without the following: Leatherman, Spare knife, Watch, Money/card clip (Smaller than a wallet, and holds just as much), Lanyard (which has a pen permanently embedded into it), a small roll of duct tape,Zippo lighter (with spare flints stashed in the lighter itself), MP3 player (in the event I need to wait), backup headphones, and sunglasses/goggle type. On top of this, This troper knows how to use most plants for healing, Knows how to fix electronics with a bit of solder, a lighter, and a needle, Can tell which ways south with just my watch, Knows how to make shoes out of just rope, can literally make ANYTHING out of duct tape, Knows how to machine tools/parts, knows how to hunt with a bow, was taught dirty knife/hand to hand fighting by this troper's uncle, and can fix most computers (software and hardware) with little effort. This is continuously augmented by this website (Among others) http://lifehacker.com/289805/use-your-wristwatch-as-a-compass which is where I learned how to figure south with my watch, as well as quite a few of my tricks.

From the same fellow as the MacGyver Kit above - I've also learned to never travel without a charger for his cell phone. Small, lightweight, and providing options when my cell phone runs out of juice. Running out of charge on a means of communication is one of those easily-remedied potential issues that not enough prepare for.

This troper was on a church trip in 8th grade when the sealant on roof of the rental van where it connects to the windshield was gone or something; the roof started making noises partway into their ~16 hour trip. The adults got back into the van to tell us this, said "We wish we had some duct tape" and this troper, who always carries duct tape while traveling, got to save the day. This has happened to lesser extent on other trips, and has gotten to the point where her friends will ask if she has duct tape at, say, a store or while eating somewhere. She also carries quite a large purse so is normally able to fulfill simple requests (writing utensils, aspirin, etc).

This troper always carries a pocket multi-tool, flashlight, ID, USB flash drive, pen, spare batteries, micrometre, monocular and a box containing poisonous copper sulphate crystals at all times. Additionally, he makes plans to kill everyone he meets. (Which the copper sulphate features in somewhat. My favourite plan is to dissolve in drinks, but you need something with a pretty strong flavour to mask the taste...so, yeah. He also has manuals for guerilla warfare and IED construction in his bedroom. Just in case.

Not real life, but this troper has taken to making her D&D characters CrazyPrepared. The only downside is that these characters inevitably end up needing a wagon, and their inventory sheets take up about five pages if I'm lucky. But should I ever need to feed a dozen people at once? I've got just the thing for that.

This Troper keeps in his car: a tent, an inflatable raft, two collapsible oars, two weeks changes of clothing, an extra school uniform, two extra pairs of shoes (dress shoes for school, sneakers for casual wear), a collapsible stool, several 2L bottles of water, a week's worth of non-perishable food good for two people, a small locked metal box containing his passport, birth certificate, school forms from the last 2 years, several USB thumb drives, Php 6,000.00, a combat knife, a 9mm pistol, a box of 9mm rounds, spare chargers for his cellphone and iPod, a flaregun with 2 red and 2 green flares, a small first-aid kit, spare pair of glasses and a spare cellphone preloaded with enough credits for a 15-minute phone call. His wallet on the other hand contains at least Php300.00 (at all times), a spare car key, some aspirin, and a fake blood pill. And all this just for going to school.

Apart from the whole "keeping useful stuff close" thing common to most tropers on this page, I usually consider other kinds of preparation -- I wear nothing but dark, baggy clothes so that my reactions are harder to read (can't see how much I sweat, if my muscles tighten unconsciously, etc) and so that the extra cloth will absorb some of the hypothetical impact damage I might suffer. Also, I avoid wearing any kind of jewellery except for some specific items that I know can be used as weapons against an attacker, but not against me (eg: necklaces are out of the question, I could be strangled with them). Armwarmers are useful, too, as they seem innocuous enough but hide muscle movements which could be detected easily without them because of my skinniness, and if they are thick enough they may prevent somebody from reading my pulse by grabbing my wrist. There's lots more, but these are just basical things I can afford to have somebody read and know about me, obviously.

This troper has actually hatched a plan for ''getting rid of an AnthropomorphicPersonification of fear'' just in case it should come in handy. It relies upon talking fast and proving that fear doesn't exist as anything other than a modifier; fear exists only in the mind, rather than as an outside force. (It may not work...indeed, it probably won't...but if it does, I'm laughing; plus, it's literally TalkingTheMonsterToDeath).

This troper always carries with him a human brain protected by a boney case. In the event of any kind of disaster he plans to use the inherant problem solving skills gifted to him by millions of years of evolution in a continuously changing enviroment of challenges. Suck on it, you Wannabes!1

Feh, is that all? This troper has it attached to a self-propelled transport case that can convert its own fuel from various samples of organic matter, ''and'' both left and right attachments for carrying out the functions of much of the information stored on the brain. Heck, it can even ''type''!

Bah, mine contains self-repair mechanisms for its transport and tools as well as a sophisticated defense system against ''possible microscoping invaders''.

That's it? Mine has a state-of-the-art chameleon mechanism capable of blending in a variety of environments ''and'' a complex backstory set up so if anyone begins to suspect anything is amiss, they will come to a dead end and have to admit ''that an entirely plausible and irrefutable alibi exists''.

Pfft. This troper has, in addition to the above, auto-functioning equipment capable of producing several brand-new humans on demand, given sufficient food and several months per unit to be assembled. The only missing ingredient is a very small cell sample which can be easily extracted without tools from any nearby male human. Oh, and she also carries fully functional backups of several vital and sensory organs, which are already implanted and ready to work. And did we mention her blood is suitable for universal transfusion in case of emergencies?

This troper keeps preparing for every single possible disaster whenever he goes on a trip somewhere and is saddened by the fact he has yet to encounter such events on said trips.

This Troper wears a wastecoat, regardless of the weather. Not because I want to keep warm, or to make a fasion statement, but because of all the things I keep in my pockets just in case. A partial list includes;

Swiss military pen (craft blades, saw, wire strippers, screwdrivers, hole punch, pen)

An actual pen.

An actual screwdriver (one of those interchangable ones with four heads).

Battery tester (credit card size, all common battery types up to and including 9v and 6v).

Camera (Nikon L20)

Handwraps (you never know when you'll need to climb or punch something).

Torch (wind up, this tends to be the most useful)

Blowtorch (portable model, the kind that can have a disposable lighter substitute it's refillable cell if it runs out)

Epoxy putty (basically epoxy resin, but...a putty)

Spray on plaster

Another torch (keychain)

Swiss army knife

USB pendrive (200x100x4mm, 8GB capacity)

Wire Glue (basically a glue which conducts electricity when it hardens)

[=WD40=] (in the form of the "pens" they've recently brought out)

Knife sharpening boards

Super Glue

[=WiFi=] signal detector

Tissues one of which is satuated with pipperine (the stuff that makes pepper spicy), just in case

A microscope (scanner, 100x magnification)

Glass bonder

A small spray bottle filled with Isopropanyl Alcohol (rubbing alcohol)

My glasses

This troper keeps his apartment no more than 15 minutes from being packed up and ready for transportation, just in case he should have to leave but has more than a minute to do so. It certainly has made moving easier. If he should have no time for that, he regularly carries plenty of gear and materials. Not much point in adding to the long lists of equipment people carry, but suffice to say, it all adds up to about 40 lbs.

This Troper nearly always has a wrench, hammer/Phillips-head screwdriver/Flat-head screwdriver multitool (with stylish flower pattern, natch), and a roll of gaffer tape on her person. She is never unprepared for her job (lighting technician), nor is she unprepared for any unexpected repairs and whatnot. She also has a large stash of martial arts weapons in her room (tiger hook swords, butterfly sword, nunchuks, tonfas, and an arnis stick), all of which she knows how to use (or at least bludgeon an intruder with style).

This troper's has 2 zombie plans: run to the South Pole (backup plan) and flee to Avalon (which will be incredibly safe if the legends are true, and if the dead are rising then they probably are).

This troper knows how to use everything in her house as a weapon in case of burglers, serial killers, assassins, aliens, zombies...

This troper purchased "The Complete Worst Case Scenario Survival Guide". It has stuff from the serious ("How to survive a revolution") to the mundane ("How to deliver a baby in a taxi"). As an added bonus, the book (which is also nice and bludgeon-y) came with a CD of every single Worst Case Scenario Survival Guide on it.

Not only does This Troper carry around random bits of anything (up to and including string, an AA battery and a calculator), she also makes sure not to say her whole name outloud. The name thing may fall into unfounded paranoia. She also rips up any unused sticker-nametags she can get her hands on at the end of the day, making sure to render the names illegible. (Too many fairytales will ruin your life.)

This troper carries around all these objects plus more in her pencil case:

Medical tape

PVA glue

Switch knife

Batteries

USB

Lavender oil

Detol cream

Smelling salts

Lighter

Paper clips

Small set of screwdrivers and a set of nuts and bolts.

Earphones

IPOD charger

This troper has carried around wooden stakes in her school bag since seeing Buffy in middle school. What? (She also got "TheUltimateZombieSurvivalGuide" for her birthday.)

When out shopping, this troper assesses the capabilities of the supermarket or retail store for becoming a safe haven in the event of zombie attack: "Well, they could rig up platforms way up high from the rafters so the zombies couldn't get them ... nah, better off on the roof of a Texaco overhang."

This troper is a light eater, but is known for bringing WAY more food than she needs to theater rehearsals. Two or more apples (or peaches, or some kind of rounded fruit) sandwiches, cheese, bread with pesto or bread with peanut butter, a box of cheese-its, etc. For what is usually a THREE HOUR TIME PERIOD. While keeping her full and happy, this has the unfortunate side effect of bringing moochers to her side.

This troper is trying to teach herself to write left-handed after trying curiously to get through a Spanish class left handed. She's also trying to do other things left handed ...

This troper may come off as CrazyPrepared in the wintertime. By default, she wears a second pair of pants under her jeans (usually stretch pants, or pajama pants, two pairs of jeans are too hard) two or even three pairs of socks, waterproof winter books (all day) a long-sleeved shirt, a t-shirt, a sweater, and a jacket. That's not counting her BadassLongcoat, gloves/mittens, scarf, hood, and hat either. She does not like being cold. The two-pairs of pants thing came in handy when she slipped in a puddle one day stepping off of a bus. She got inside and simply removed her jeans, walking about in her comfy (and DRY) pj pants all day. She can also offer a pair of extra dry socks to a friend during the day. (She has no pity for people who complain of being cold. Unless they have suffered from frost bite in the past, or are Senior Citizens.)

This troper got some odd looks when during a scavenger hunt for orientation week at college, she had six of the items needed in her purse or pockets. She had a rubber ducky, foreign currency, a bandanna, a slinky, a flyer for the upcoming football game, and a pen from the administration office on campus.

Three words: [=WikiHow=] iPhone app. It has a built in survival guide that doesn't need internet.

This troper - Churba, For reference - Beats all when it comes to Crazy prepared, to the point that it would give Batman himself pause. A short list, just of skills - Extremely good marksman and decent gunsmith, master of two martial arts and well trained in two others, with minor proficiency in a half dozen others, detailed knowlege of explosives, incendiaries and associated equipment, including the use and manufacture of, able to drive or pilot just about anything that moves - From Horseriding, to heavy construction equipment, cars, trucks, motorbikes, planes and helicopters of various sizes, and just about any size or type of sea-going vessel, from a small sailboat up to and including cargo ships, experienced skydiver, a detailed knowlege of how to constuct various weaponry from basic knives though to Crude-but-effective firearms, Detailed knowlege of how to navigate by the stars and sun, as well as any navigational aid, anywhere in the world, four languages, a detailed medical knowlege, both how to repair it and how to damage it, an advanced knowlege of most common and quite a few uncommon drugs, as well as herbs, how to perform some basic medical operations(ie, stitches, sutures, object extraction, tracheotomy) how to hotwire just about any consumer or commercial vehicle, how to open just about every lock made by man, a detailed knowlege of security systems and how to circumvent them, welding, mechanics, construction, chemistry, advanced knowlege of survival in just about every environment known to man, a working knowlege of most dangerous animals one might encounter, advanced combat tactics in a variety of environements and situations including gurillia tactics, and that's just for a start, and just skills.

This troper remembers his bard who could change which songs were memorized in seconds, and THREE 10-slot bags FULL of unique clicky items or weird procs. Able to do everything from teleporting to a harmless place by smashing people with a hammer, blind creatures by throwing on a breastplate, instantly make some one not need to breath, cause everyone in the party to float harmlessly in the air, shrink yourself, various illusions, mesmerize even the GODS by smacking them with a lute, and many more. If a bard gets addicted to clicky items, there was literally no situation in the game they didn't have five different toys (or abilities) to deal with.

This troper owns the shirt and wears it frequently, while carrying a Swiss-army knife and learning to say "Thanks" and "It wasn't my fault" in as many languages as possible.

WAIT, a swiss-army knife.... AND A T-SHIRT? HOLY FUCK. THAT IS--HOLY SHIT YOU ARE PREPARED. WOW. JUST--WOW.

In high school, a couple of this troper's friends were talking about a zombie apocalypse. Thier last ditch plan was to sell (this Troper's) soul for supplies for traps.

This troper lives in San Francisco, and when walking out in foggy weather, thinks about what she would do if everything suddenly slipped into Otherworld. One plan that comes to mind is chucking a hard plastic water bottle as a noise distraction and shedding a noisy nylon jacket if need be. At home, she'd grab her mom's iceaxe.

Same troper also has a raincoat that she wears whenever she goes out that has the necessities, making a bag necessary only when carrying books larger than a paperback. The current raincoat is the third or so to be used in this fasion, and will not be the last. Ditto with many pocketed pants.

This troper carries a second backpack in addition to her school backpack filled with neccesary items: A flashlight, a lazer pointer, a spork, a couple of plastic straws, toilet paper, tissues, water bottle, Advil, pencils, pens, a notebook, a tiny sewing kit, erasers, a pecil sharpener, two kinds of mechanical pencil lead, a book to read incase I get stuck somewhere for a long time, a watch, my cellphone, my iPod, an address book with all important numbers in it, photos of my family with their names, ages, and other information on the back in case I get amnisia, a copy of my unofficial will, a Survival Guidebook, my current school ID card in case I die and my face gets horribly mutilated so they can't tell who I am, and a towel. Paranoid? No. Crazy prepared.

Also, the perfect mugging victim.

Ever since the coup in Honduras, this Brazilian troper has been checking with friends abroad if he could live at their places and looking up embassies near his house, in case the Right tries a coup here too, backed, say, by Jim DeMint, who backed the coup in Honduras and wouldn't allow basic legislation to pass until Obama accepted it.

I have several plans to live through horror movie situations... And I know how to open a can with a spoon.

Nice! Got any more plans for surviving fictional situations?

This troper has a pool cue in her room, in case of burglars. Or zombies. She has thought of how to maybe take out a zombie with a pool cue, and has guessed that she might be able to get down the hallway and hide in the closet there before a horrible, agonizing, inevitable death. So she's going to take herself out with the pool cue beforehand.

This Troper has realised reading this he needs to be more Crazy Prepared and is now assembling Joker Team in the south of England, with plans to survive any zombie apocalypse or state of open warfare etc. Details pending.

This Troper may not completely count as this trope, but she DOES keep a piece of wood by her bed which she specially made to look like a mere wizard wand decoration a la HarryPotter but is actually a two centimeter thick solid piece of rigid wood that can break bones when in the right hands. She knows how to make an escape out her second-story window by climbing down the shrubbery if necessary. Therefore, I shall most likely survive the ZombieApocalypse, like most of the other people on this page. The nerds shall inherit the earth, indeed.

This Troper works for a crazy prepared company. This copmany has a website that has been up since roughly 2000 devoted to various strains of influenza and pandemic levels, and has at least once (this troper has only been employed there a year,) sent out the extremely expensive Tamiflu for free to anyone who signed up out of its roughly 17,000-20,000 employees.

This Troper is now very happy that they did that. H1N1, anyone? I have plenty.

This troper has two weapons at his bedside. The first is a bowie knife. The second is a hardback book. Which book you may ask? The second installment of A Series of Unfortunate Events.

This Troper was once working on a collaborative school assignment involving writing the opening to an epic. The group chose to use Norse mythology, but we couldn't remember all of the Norse gods' names. Cue This Troper pulling a Scion core rulebook - including a list of Norse gods - from his backpack. I got some weird looks for that one.

This Troper has Three examples that apply to him.

He's a Tarot reader, and has discovered that carrying a relatively firm deck with him to be useful in many situations (Not only for reading, but also for boredom (to play Poker) and opening locks (Like you would with a credit card)

As a pyrophobic, the SMELL of smoke can freak him the hell out, even when it should be there. On Halloween he wore a costume with a gas mask to school. A building a little way down caught fire, and the wind was in the wrong direction. Now, if he can carry a bag, he never goes anywhere without it.

Finally, in the least over-the-top/superstitious of his, he spent six years assisting at a D&D camp, and always carefully constructed plots, which were usually taken entirely in a different direction by the players. This got annoying, but his breaking point happened when a 3.5 group invented a Zeppelin, and went exploring halfway through the story. He spent all night working on a new setting. Determined not to let this happen, he tries to prepare for every eventuality that could even POSSIBLY be justified in story. The crazy prepared gets crazy though, since he's written a whole description of what happens if his players decide to fuck the story, and fly their Vampire: The Requiem characters to the moon. Vampires In Space!

This Troper grew up in a rural New England village where the power used to go out for hours at a stretch during your average thunderstorm. She is also into historical re-enactments. She is- ah, screw it, ''I am'' in possession of enough food and water to keep me alive for a few weeks, and I have books on identifying local plants, hide tanning, animal care, spinning and weaving, midwifing, moonshining, and how to build wagons, wheels, smokehouses, log cabins, and lumber kilns. I do not have guns, as my aim is a joke, but I do have plenty of knives along with a five-foot rock maple walking stick. Basic grammar books/dictionaries for Japanese, Gaelic, Finnish, Latin, and Dutch. For useful skills, I know basic first aid, sewing, knitting, bushwhacking, navigating by sun/stars, cooking, firebuilding, camping and woodcraft. My hiking backpack has a comb, matches, health bars, 4-in-1 pocket screwdriver, tweezers, hair ties, q-tips, allergy meds, pens, black and silver sharpies, hand lotion, antibiotic ointment, antibiotic stick (like lip balm), address labels, band-aids of various sizes, sting gel, pain relief patch, aspirin, ibuprofen, Tylenol, wet wipes, small plastic bag, three different sizes of ace bandage, gauze pads, medical tape, travel manicure kit), binoculars (10x25), plastic knife/fork/spoon, stainless steel water bottle, and a leatherman. There is usually a length of cotton clothesline in there, but it got borrowed on a camping trip and never returned; I'm replacing it tomorrow. I also add a notebook before I leave, but that waits until I know which one I want to bring. The whole pack weighs less than five pounds.

I have a jacket that came with pockets on the inside. At the moment, it contains: 6 plastic forks (for combing my hair, eating) over 20 writing utensils, about half of which work A ball from an old (non-laser) mouse A Sharpie marker A book of matches 4 paper bags A laser pointer and a paperback book (For bullet protection and reading, currently Issac Asimov's Fantastic Voyage) All carried on my person at (almost) all times. My first jacket like this was ruined when I tried to wear it in the shower. Also a friend of mine carries a "Vampire Protection Kit," containing a sharpened wooden cross (so it can stake and keep away vampires), garlic (of course), and large water bottle, to hopefully simulate a river.

This troper has a variety of things that he keeps around that once served a purpose, but don't anymore, but I can't help but feel that they may come in handy someday, and they sometimes do. For example, in a pocket of my jacket I have a phone number that I used only once about a year ago, up until recently, when I needed to call him because I needed a ride to somewhere and he was the only number I knew that could help me. I also keep my driver's permit around in a locked drawer in my room, long after it's become unnecessary. It ended up helping me when I lost my wallet and needed ID to get onto an airplane.

This troper does little, barely notable things that save his ass a lot. For example, he uses his phone as an alarm clock, and always makes sure to keep it out of arm's reach so that he HAS to get up in order to turn it off, making it far less likely that he'll fall back asleep and miss class. He also never goes anywhere without his wallet, even if that particular place does not require a wallet, such as to class. This ensures that when the time comes that he does need his wallet, he doesn't forget to grab it.

Same deal for this troper. Also, he never leaves the house without two sets of keys (one of which is in the satchel, just in case he happens to lose the one in his pocket). Both sets of keys have a rather large ornament (it looks like a miniature smirnoff bottle, but it's solid steel) which would double as a kosh. In the house, he has what Michael McIntyre refers to as the 'Man Drawer', which contains everything on that list, along with a half-dozen other random items rope, tape, two Stanley knives, an iron bar, a disease and first aid/medicine book, an A-Z map of the Britain and a ballpoint pen which has a USB flash drive and a laser-pointer in it. In a kitchen cupboard we have six months' worth of the prescription medicine for the entire family, and enough over-the-counter medicines and assorted first-aid supplies to stock a small chemist. And six jars of gravy. We are adequately prepared for anything short of the collapse of civilisation, and we'd be prepped for that too if it was legal for Brits to own offensive weapons (although this'll improve when he gets into the police force and can have a stab vest, helmet, baton and mace spray).

This Troper isn't CrazyPrepared, but after my military service I have started carrying around few things... To be fair, these only include a compass, a swiss army knife, a lighter, pen and paper plus some hidden cash.

Probably not CrazyPrepared, but This troper carries a book of matches, a notebook with several survival plans. Also have what this troper calls 'Frankenpants', the remains of three pairs of cargo pants sewn together, it has fourteen pockets each containing something important. (Salt packets, sugar packets, sewing needle and thread, matchbook, pocketnife, wallet, bandana, aforementioned notebook, pencils and pens for the aforementioned notebook, various keys collected over time, and a heavy duty web belt). Although not directly attatched to said pants, have a pair of machetes and a fishing style vest. The whole ensemble is topped by a full brim hat with loop belt and durable boots. Gloves of lesser importance as well as fleece for cold weather are kept nearby in my external frame pack. Unfortunately this troper cannot wear the aforementioned ensemble in public, or afford a neccessary implement (a gun).

This Troper happens to know a CloudCuckooLander who keeps a truly astounding number of things in his backpack. Items include a stapler, several binders, an apple, numerous card games, a ton of pencils and other writing implements, and I think a video camera. That's not even the beginning. I just now saw him stuff a paper plate into his pocket. I'm doing my best not to ponder why, for the sake of my sanity.

That said, I have this to some degree as well. I hoard pencils, to such degree that I call one of my pockets "The Pocket of Infinite Writing Implements." There are even more in my backpack.

This Troper, whenever in a new area, always goes for a long walk around in the middle of the day to get a good idea of places to avoid, places which are safe, and to get an idea of where the shortcuts and dead ends are. I never pack heavy when I need to move around, and If I know I'm going to be out for a long time on my own at night, I rely only on fruit, carbohydrates, and water for sustenance, incase I need to run somewhere fast. I wear tough durable shoes, waterproof, but make sure they are not too heavy to run or kick while wearing. I carry a torch on me at all times, and if I go out with a backpack I always carry a spare set of clothes to change into on the move, including a set of gloves and a jacket, even in summer. I've also noticed while reading this page, one thing, which I am often called Crazy Prepared for, has not come up: EXERCISE! Strong, flexible muscles heal quicker when injured, stay warmer longer, take longer to deteriorate when hungry, and most importantly, are fit for hand to hand combat. A strong set of lungs and a powerful heart can keep you running, fighting, and give you the stamina to remain awake and active for long, painful hours. If that isn't being crazy prepared for the worst, I don't know what is. Oh, and like the troper above me, I also hoard pencils and paper incase I need to take anything important down...

This Troper spent most of high school with a reputation for this; at any given moment, she could pull out of her backpack: a crowbar, first aid kit, painkillers (both ibuprofen and Tylenol), three books (in case someone forgot theirs during silent reading/she finished the one she was on), a sewing kit, a set of miniature screwdrivers, a roll of heavy-duty duct tape, hard candies, ketchup packets, sugar packets, hot sauce packets, a quarter for the phone, and several spare pads (which I would freely hand out in emergencies).

All This Troper does in future preparation is have a snooker cue beside his bed and emergency cola upstairs in the coldest part of his room (whenever it's too late to go downstairs without waking anyone up for a drink). However he did always carry a large rock and a length of shoelace in his coat pocket to deal with possible assailants.

In This Troper's so called 'purse' she has a spare house key, tissues, a year's worth of basic french vocabulary, a toothbrush, a cellphone, a comic book, band aids, a box of clarinet reeds, and many, many writing utensils. Let's not get started on the backpack...Not to mention all the emergency-type things that happened to make their way into her house. She has thus gained a reputation for being the one that my friends depend on during some sort of Zombie Apocolypse or everyday preparedness.

This Troper and his friends carry paper caps numbering in the thousands, just in case any of us are unarmed during the zombie apocalypse. We plan to light some 1000-cap tubes and toss them into the mob, blowing the zombies up. This Troper also has an emergency roll of 50 located in my sweater hood, in case he gets infected. He has tested these caps, and they blow up very nicely.

This Troper has the coolest pen with a knife hidden inside that she bought from this Chinese store. It's stashed away in her room in case somebody tries to attack her. She also has a breathing barrier, a bunch of gauze, and a pair of gloves in her purse.

Not the most amazing inventory, but This Troper generally likes to pack a varity of objects for just hanging out with friends. This includes cutlery, wine glasses, generally enough books for everyone, spare clothes (for when you a coke bottle explodes in the air above you), a dressing gown, x360 controllers and games to use on demo machines, and a chess board. Also has the usual assortment of zombie apocolypse plans. Sorta seemed like a prequisite for any level of Crazy Prepared.

This troper does then when packing for a trip where I'll be gone overnight. Typically, I bring along a box of tissues (Since there's usually none in the area when my allergies act up), a change of clothes with an extra shirt thrown in just in case, a towel (Because I always know where my towel is), my cell phone, a DS with a few games (Sometimes switched out for a Game Boy Advance SP with a few games), a PSP with some music on it's memory stick and a few games, my laptop, AC adapters for every rechargeable device I bring along, travel bottles of shampoo and other necessities, a toothbrush, some antacid (In case I get heartburn from supper), some candy (In case I feel the need for a midnight snack), a pocket knife, my belt (Not really needed to hold my pants up, but there to hold my cell phone's case and in case I need to wrap it around something to use as a handle), and my trusty wristwatch (Which also doubles as a TV remote and a stopwatch. I refer to it as being like a sonic screwdriver).

This troper always carries in her messenger bag (no, she's not wussy enough to carry a purse): art supplies, sketchbooks, a notebook, pens and nonart pencils, bus map & transit guide, bus pass/money for bus pass, street map, paper clips, safety pins, twine, twistie ties, an aviator hat or parasol (seasonal), magnets (wait, I have magnets in there too?), stun gun, toothpaste and toothbrush, padlock and keys, water, food, iPod, wallet, medications for a week, cell phone (not necessary, help will never arrive in time), and bubbles. This is not an exhaustive list. Troper has practiced dialing 911 (you can lose your coordination in emergencies), knows where to go if suddenly kicked out of the house (and has an emergency bag packed just in case), knows where and where not to go on the streets if kicked out, observes her environment obsessively, memorized all important ID numbers and phone numbers, sometimes passes out a fake name, and has even considered figuring out how to carry a mini toiletlike thing. Troper carries jackets/coats in winter and long sleeved blouses in summer to ward off extreme heat. Troper even runs a journal about surviving in her city without a car. She does 50% of her napping on buses and on campus, and sets her cell phone alarm to wake her up. Troper is... well, this is what happens when you commonly spend over twelve hours away from home at a time. And run the risk of being locked out because nobody bothered to give you a house key.

In college, This Tropper found himself dormless for two months due to a housing SNAFU. So I lived out of my car until they got it straightened out. Instead of getting mad, I realized how awesome it is to have all your worldly posessions with you at all times, especially since I'm a musician. At any given moment I had: Three instrument cables, one 4 string bass guitar, one 6 string bass guitar, one electric guitar, one Ampeg half stack, one Marshal half stack, one trombone, one bookbag with music textbooks and sheet music, one bookbag with core class textbooks and notebooks, three tuners, two metronomes, my entire wardrobe, a laptop, a cleaned and pressed tuxedo and a cleaned and pressed "all black" outfit for jazz gigs. The only problem was doing laundry. When I finally got a dorm, most of that stayed in my car.

This troper has a case of MREs under his bed, next to the water, first aid kit, and chef's knife.

This troper is prepared for almost every concievably survivable apocalypse scenario, including Zombies, Robots, Vampires, a superflu pandemic, and an existing Death Note. The only problem with the plans so far is that it only ensures my own survival, especially since I'm not allowed to tell anyone the plans. Just in case the zombies can remember.

This troper and her girlfriend are both relatively paranoid. When they move in together during/after college, their house will be super-safe. Down to everything.

Also, she and her dad have discussed plans in the event of a plane crash that eventually would result in having to start to kill surviving members. As a vegetarian, she would have to be the first to go, as she wouldn't be able to digest the meat from the others.

Every time this troper leaves the house, she has the following in her small purse: a 12-32 oz bottle of juice or water, various candy bars, some "meal bars", a change purse containing $1 in coins and at least $5 in bills, a fully-powered 2G MP3 Player, a PSP, at least 5 PSP games of varying genres, a DS, at least 10 DS games of varying genres, the PSP multi-connector plug thing (doubles for the MP3 Player), the Car Adapter add-on for the plug, a 5 in x 3 in sketchpad, pens, pencils, erasers of multiple kinds, drawing pens of varying thicknesses, debit card, state ID, college ID, all the store-cards she has (Gamestop for example), the DS plug, a calculator, her cellphone, her house key, her parents' office key, a 4G USB chip, a pack of gum, a paperback copy of the Silmarillion, an E-Book containing so far fourty books (mostly fanfiction, old fantasy novels she owns, and one strategy guide for one game (varies on what she's playing)), a small sheet of paper listing any games she can't find for a reasonable price with prices at places she has already checked, a packet of sugar, an unused plastic sandwich bag, two pads, and a Google Map with directions from her college campus to a Trader Joes she keeps having problems tracking down without. So this troper is more like Crazy Prepared for boredom and random bouts of hunger, but her father is a more standard example, as evidenced by past blackouts, the bowie knife, the room on the third floor that is always locked, and the stock-pile of dried goods in the basement and old nursery. He also taught me how to protect myself by hitting specific areas on an attacker's body or saving myself from a grapple or choke. The later is quite obvious, as you place the hands between your neck and his/her hands. The more common blow was obvious too (and from past experience with a basketball, it will stun female attackers as well for like two seconds), but I figured before he started giving me lessons that with enough force or creativity anything could be used as a weapon. I'm highly considering taking a few pages from his book when I can, such as carrying a pocket knife with me everywhere except for planes.

This Troper, after a stint of homelessness as a child and living in an unstable home as a teen, has a tendency to assemble emergency kits for rapid escape when living somewhere in which her name does not appear on the lease or deed. A rather crippling depression means she has none right now, as she's been too ill to compose one. When she was in college and staying at home, her "mini" kit was composed of this: the nicest set of clothes she could reasonaly pull out of clothing rotation and not expect her abusive family to notice was gone. Extra underwear. All her money, save a few dollars put out where her parents usually looked to steal it. A USB key containing a backup of all her important files. Emergency toiletries, excluding what would normally be provided at a hotel and what she couldn't reasonably conceal. A day's supply of drinking water and hiking snacks. A backup memory card of all her gamecube data. Room at the top for her GBA and games. Mementos. It would have contained more, but it was ostensibly an "overnight bag" that she kept packed in case grandma randomly showed up. While at college, she kept all of her important documents in a box of graham crackers. Once this troper's treatment gets under way and her motivation returns, she's going to compose a similarly designed emergency kit for her current residence, as well as a kit for her car.

ThisTroper may not be as "CrazyPrepared" as all the other tropers on here, with their "Zombie Attack Plans" and the like, but she has managed to be crazy prepared with ordinary items for her ordinary life at her ordinary school. Some of the things that have helped her gain the rep as "CrazyPrepared" include:

A book (at all times- maybe even two or three)

Tweezers and a nail clipper (though not for cosmetic purposes- tweezers can be used as screwdrivers(!) and the ones I've got are... Deceptively sharp).

Sunscreen- in case you forgot

Aloe Vera- in case you forgot to ask for sunscreen

M&M's for when you are feeling bad to aforementioned sunburn

A sewing kit (especially useful when we went to Canada for a band trip, and one girl's dress got ripped. Who has a needle and thred? Oh right...)

Various hairbrushes (yes, some people ''do'' in fact find them useful.)

A little tupperware container of hairclips and hairties (again, useful. Hair ties can be used for so many things...)

A little pencil bag with various medications including pain medication (though only generic over-the-counter stuff, no perscriptions), something stronger for... the "special" time of the month, allergy meds, (two brands), and cold meds for nighttime and daytime

Misc chapsticks. Seriously

A DS with games and a charger

A stuffed teddybear on my keychain, hiding the fact that my keys are ''very'' pointy, and ''very'' sharp

A ball of yarn.

A pencil case with pencils

A notebook

An umbrella

Duct tape.

And, yes, these ''all'' fit into my purse.

This troper tends to have hidden on his person: two folding knives (one small "all-purpose" knife, and a larger survival knife), a box of matches, a small flashlight, a magnifying glass/compass/mirror combination tool, and a small spool of fishing line. not quite ''crazy'' prepared, but still better than most people I know. But, while I have planned for serious situations (wilderness survival, being a bystander in an armed robbery, etc), most of my "planning time" is spent on situations that I know won't ever happen, merely for the fun of it. Like for example...zombie infestation (ranging from dealing with one lone zombie to surviving a full-scale outbreak), vampire attack, giant monster rampage, or even being stranded back in time or in another dimension. Okay, maybe I am a bit CrazyPrepared. But, at least the crazy part of is the fun, doesn't-take-itself-seriously kind.

This troper is, in part, defined by this trope: He has three condoms on his person at all times, carries mouthwash and hand sanitizer, always has a decent book and an iPod handy, keeps a lighter just in case, usually keeps a spare change of clothes in his car, has memorized no fewer than 78 ways to take down a potential attacker, is never without a laptop, and keeps the locations of every decent restaurant, vending machine, bathroom and Generally Empty Place With A Power Outlet memorized and up-to-date. These are vital for college. Don't attend classes without them. (Admittedly, the condoms and the mouthwash haven't paid off yet, and hopefully the takedowns are never necessary...but it's only crazy if it never sees use.)

4 Knives, 8 pens of various colors, Laptop, Cellphone, 2 Multi-tools, 4 LED flashlights, 20 Lbs of textbooks, 2 small bottles of hand sanitizer, 2 spray Listerines, Steel toed boots. And that's just my everyday stuff. At home I have 4 Bo-staffs of varying length, 12 PVC pipe LARP swords, all the camping gear I could ever need, tons of books, and a car. I have a code for time travel, the ability to hotwire any vehicle up to about 2005, Decent combat skills, and great driving skills.

This Troper carries on him a switchblade, a sheath knife, a kukri (with smaller knife and sharpening steel), two pens, a refillable lighter, a cellphone, $2.85 in change, $20 in bills, toenail clippers, earplugs, a deck of playing cards, a "wad" of duct tape, Kleenex, an LED flashlight, a bottle and can opener, and '''his bare hands'''. And then there's the extensive camping gear...and the >50 gigabytes of survival literature and media...and the pre-planned escape route...

I like travelling light, so I keep things scarce and only take the necessary, but I always have a compass, a hand-cranked torch and a solar-powered charger (with outlets for mobile and ipod) in my bag all the time, along with a palm-sized survival and medical kit. My pride and joy, however, is a necklace with a ''knife in the pendant''. Pretty ''and'' practical!

Weshould all form some kind of alliance so we can work together and control the world in case of an apocalypse.

This (female) Troper is, perhaps predictably, carrying quite some things around in a handbag. It currently contains: Five band-aids in different sizes, a bandage, a nail set, mini scissors, zinc and iron tablets, corrector fluid, two pens, a pencil, a marker, painkillers, mini deodorant, matches and a lighter, hand lotion, two scrunchies, a mirror, batteries in two sizes, a sewing kit, an umbrella, a bicycle pump, a comb and a brush, a second set of socks, a 2GB USB stick containing important documents, chewing gum and two types of bonbons, all in all 25 USDs worth in bills and coins in three currencies, a tiny calendar, mini shampoo and showering gel, make-up wipes, a lipstick, an assortment of tea bags, a DVD-R, three napkins, two packages of tissues, tampons (obviously), 50 vocabulary cards, several elastic bands, a measuring tape, some shashlik skewers, two notebooks, and three different telephone cards for three different countries. She's only missing a miniature toothbrush and toothpaste... but only because she's lost them in her last move. Of course, if someone steals that handbag, she's kinda boned. She's also considering adding several items mentioned on this page

This troper's desk of holding contains:

Two multitools

Philips head screwdriver (that fits most screws in the computer)

Flat head screwdrier (all the ones that don't)

Windows 7 disc (should I need recovery tools)

Windows 7 recovery disc (ditto)

Hiren's [=BootCD=] (even more tools)

Xubuntu [=LiveCD=] (if I can't boot)

[=ATI=] driver disc

Nvidia driver disc

Windows Vista desk reference (still relevant)

Entire hard drive backed up on an external hard drive

Canned air (if the fan gets clogged)

External CD drive

[=PCIe=] power cables

4GB [=RAM=] in 4 sticks

400w [=PSU=]

[=GeForce=] 7350 LE

Healthy supply of printer ink

Two [=USB=] flash drives

Redundant Zune HD power cables

My computer's prepared.

This troper keeps several twisty-ties in his wallet, and nearly-always carries a small pocket knife (when not in school). He also keeps a water-proof ammo can under his bed, in case he ever needs to quickly pack important stuff away if SHTF.

This troper's laptop bag has: laptop (of course), charger, mouse, headphones, live-[=CDs=] for Ubuntu/GParted/System Rescue CD, install [=DVDs=] for [=OpenSUSE=]/[=Arch Linux=]/Windows XP, network cables, power plugs, calculator, and a few extra pens and pencils. Not much if compared to what some people here have, however.

Also, his desk: another 2 sets of headphones, card adapters (to read [=MicroSD=] cards using an SD reader), USB-to-PS/2 adapter, batteries, small screwdrivers, and a collection of [=CDs=] with everything you might need.

This troper's dad keeps several lengths of chain in the back of our van just in case a car ever gets stuck in the mud and he stops to help.

Inspired by This Smash Mouth video, this troper has created a step-by-step contingency plan for a woman to follow in a Type 5 StoodUp date.

Well, sometime after reading this article, (Yes, the troper tales one.) I have began hoarding items that may one day safe my life. Or atleast simplyfy situations I may find me in. As of now (Feb. '10) my bag contains:

A water bottle.

A foldaway umbrella.

A fold away bicycle pump. (Makes sense where I live. The Netherlands is rife with bikes.)

7 pens, of which 1 has a compass on it. (it works, but you need to wiggle it up and down abit to be sure.)

A glasses container with my sunglases. (To swap with my reguliar glasses. The shades are also sight-enhanching)

4 still packed Duracel AA bateries.

A LED flashlight.

2 condoms.

2 permanent markers.

A box of matches.

A bottle of WD-40.

A roll of duct tape.

A set of hex keys, ranging from 1.5 though 10.

A compact toolbox, containing pliers, tweezers and a multi-purpose screwdriver.

On a related note, I am still seeking more items to add to my bag. Most of all a lenght of good rope and a sewingkit (even if I don't know how to use it, it is never bad to have such). Do you think I forgot anything?

This troper is fully prepared for the zombie apocalypse and has looked over all the supplies he would take, transportation, a destination, weapons, plans for dealing with raiders and other non-undead hostiles, etc. He is a faithful member of the Zombie Survival & Defense Wiki.

This troper always has a ''minimum'' of the following: one bottle-opener, one miniature electric torch, one pocket knife, one lighter and a handful of mints. And all in just one leather jacket.

This troper carries her notebook and pencil-case everywhere she goes. The notebook has emergency contact info in the front, and the pencil-case contains biros, gel-pens, a Sharpie, a highlighter, pencils, a little pack of coloured pencils, a pencil sharpener, and an eraser. Oh, and a mirror, Vaseline, toothbrush, toothpaste, tweezers, hair-ties, comb, and a Spork. She figures there's probably space in there for band-aids, a lighter, and hopefully a few individually-wrapped wipes. She also has a bag that contains scripts, music, shoes, rehearsal skirt, another notebook, a small pencil-tin that contains a biro, pencils, coloured pencils, and a highlighter. When you're fool enough to be in three plays at once, it's VERY handy to be able to pick up one bag for all rehearsals as opposed to having to remember where you're going and what specifics you might need. She doesn't leave the house without at least one Shakespeare play either; they're short enough to be lightweight but dense enough to take a long time to read. MOST handy for emergency boredom situations! And, like everyone else, she has her zombie apocalypse escape plan all figured out. But having got through this page, she now knows she is a rank amateur and really needs to up her Crazy Prepared game.

Space}} This troper has become inspired to become more crazy prepared after reading this page. But, she also worried for some tropers, practically everyone is packing knives, guns, and ammunition, but few mentions of toilet paper, a razor, towels, and other toiletries. Not to mention raingear, bugspray, twist ties, blankets, tarps, etc. And it's slightly odd how more people are more prepared for a zombie attack than a nuclear, terrorist, or military takeover.

One of this troper's friends has a somewhat disturbingly-detailed plan for how to survive a ZombieApocalypse, right down to weapons and a stash of food (I do, too, but that was more because of fear of bird flu). My friend specifically rented a second-story apartment so she could destroy the staircase against zombies, and keeps a rain-barrel on her balcony. She's otherwise a normal woman with a quasi-professional job as a secretary--she's just got this weird thing about zombies. As to the number of people prepared for a zombie attack, Max Brooks, when he was writing ''WorldWarZ'', interviewed all kinds of high-ups in the military and civilian agencies, and he's said most of ''them'' had at least given the idea some thought.

Yes, but ''at the same time'' as working out plans for the nuclear attack, terrorists, military takeover etc. Zombies are useful for disaster planners as they are effectively a combination of violent but unarmed revolution and infectious disease.

Not as extreme as some of these examples, but this troper has plans set up for when a time machine is invented. She has figured out how to kill Hitler (or would if it weren't for that pesky Exemption), save Abraham Lincoln, solve the Jack the Ripper case, and save Heath Ledger from his unfortunate drug overdose. Her mother also knows these plans and has helped contribute. We also have a contingency plan for getting separated during a terrorist attack, plague, or natural disaster.

This Troper's father. I find it easier to list the things he can't do then the thing he can. He's sailed on a merchant ship in the Caribbean, farmed and raised farm animals, harvested maple syrup, did business in a celluar phone company, constructed agricultural irrigation systems, shipped and bagged seed, managed the maintanence of an industrial bakery, floor run at a casino, worked as a carpenter, drove cattle, worked as head cook on a tourist trap cattle drive, trained as an EMT, cooked and guided at an elk hunting camp, and sold real estate, at varying points in his life. To top that off, when he has spare time, he reads Western history, can fix a car, fish, hunt, is a crack shot with a rifle, landscape, and manage to raise four kids. He's way too softspoken for his own good, so you'd never know that he'd be your best ally after the Zombie Apocalypse.

This Troper is a inverted example. He has no plan for the zombie apocalypse, or alien invasion, but is able to use anything as a weapon, and can think of at least one object in any room that can be lifted easily, yet come down like a ton of bricks. This actually helped a little one day when this tropers sister and he came home to find the garage door open. Fearing the worst, he took his twenty pound backpack in one hand, ready to cause home run bat knock back, and headed to his collection of swords. Though they are wooden, not steel, they are hard enough to not break if they ht a skull, and have enough of a wedge to split one. He also subverts it, being crazy prepared for any conversation or question. A year in advance.

Come to think of it, the only real thing you need is a healthy level of caution, the ability to calmly analyze your situation, and enough emotional/mental preperation, and you'll be set for most diasters, though the previously mentioned equipment isn't exactly useless, either.

I have '''THE HAMMER OF THOR''' (yes, it needs to be in all caps and bolded), a lanyard attached to a keychain attached to a string tied to a 1 lb rectangular weight with a hole through the top. It's 4 feet long and is pretty painful to be hit by (trust me, I tested it). I also have ''Forbidden Knowledge'' and it's sequel ''More Forbidden Knowledge'', which are books filled with seemingly useless, mostly dangerous (and some illegal) information (it has a disclaimer telling you not to do any of the things listed, which apparently makes it ok to sell in regular book stores). I have the ability to use most guns accuratly, can drive many types of vehicles, and have the recipe for Thermite (which isn't in either of those books). I have even figured out how to use most mundane objects as lethal weapons. This isn't as crazy prepared as other people, but at least I'm prepared for the zombie/alien/girl scout invasion when it comes.

Upon unlocking the keyhole, this troper always kicks the metal door to her garden with force, pepper spray in hand. Given the peculiar conformation of the hall, anyone hiding behind the door would get hit in the face and hit the metal wall, alerting me and getting sprayed in a split second.

This troper is prepared for many situations, although nowhere near as much as some of you guys. Most of my stuff is pretty reasonable, like knowing rudimentary sign language, German, Russian, Japanese, and several other languages well enough to not get shot. When it comes to computers, though, I can be a bit over-prepared. I have OS images for nearly every i386 system, including every major version of Windows back to 3.1, OS/2, and Solaris. I am fluent in over thirty progamming languages, including such things as LISP, awk, and ac. Less computer-oriented but more paranoid, I sleep with nunchuks under my bed. I have not only a time-travel password, but a counter-password, to verify that the person I'm talking to is actually me. Why? Because I can.

This troper declares the above linguistic awesome, because my plan as far as language was just to be able to recognize every written language on earth by sight, so I have a point of reference should I be taken captive/ship wrecked on a random island.

This troper will spend his idle time making observations of everything and making plans to subvert anything that would put me in danger. What are my exits? Where do I have cover? Can I make a sweep and flank an intruder? Who in the room looks like they will take orders and who looks like they will be overloaded with fear and won't be any help? What can I use as a makeshift weapon? What are my exits/points of entry? Is there any security and if so do they appear reliable? I also make a mental note of hair color, eye color, vehicle model and color, clothing, and any features that stand out of anyone I consider suspicious. I've spent a lot of time training for self defense, learning how to diffuse situations by mediation, subversion, and intimidation. Also knowing how to spot a person carrying a concealed weapon by irregularities in their stride helps considerably. I also make notes of people I am in direct contact with should the need arrise to use that information. An example being a "friend" who in the moment of a pissing contest threatend to put this troper's family in danger and feed broken glass to my dog. Later that year he ended up kicked out of his apartment with another friend, losing his job after he was caught with drugs in his vehicle, and was arrested over an unrelated matter when a person twice removed from this troper was informed of a recent crime and promptly alerted police. Last I heard he was ordered to pay child support on two children and is living as a vagrant somewhere in nevada.

This troper BertieDastard is a little like this. He always carries a plastic cup, a bottle of water, a wind-up torch, a bunch of keys for various things, three kinds of snack bars, plastic cutlery, a flask of hot water, scraps of material for bandages, a notepad and pens and pencils, a map, a compass, a head-torch and spare batteries, a swiss army knife, a spare pair of underwear and socks, spare shoelaces, a usb memory stick with important details on, a mobile phone, a spare battery for said mobile phone, a spare mobile phone, a portable wind-up mini radio, a deck of cards, a harmonica, a flick-knife on a keyring, a whistle, a dog whistle, a candle, matches, a wallet with several cards, forms of id, and different types of currency, a laminated card with his name, dob, blood type, allergies, address, and various phone numbers on. And...that'd be about it. Yes, he has a huge bag. Yes, it weighs a ton. And yes, he's prepared for just about any eventuality, up to and including being buried in an landslide.

Mild one here, this troper has a Mouth Guard he was given for free form his job as a life guard in his back pack, which goes most everywhere with him, just in case he has to provide CPR, because he knows about CPRCleanPrettyReliable. While he is more than capable of giving CPR without the guard, he still would like to avoid other people's bodily fluids. Within the pouch it came in, there is also several pair of rubber gloves (just in case) and while at work, where you have to wear it at all times, this troper keeps his pouch partially unzipped, so he can get out of it quicker.

It is somewhat disheartening that for all the crazy-prepared people on this page, only ONE person mentions knowing CPR. Apparently most people only prepare for disasters that will affect THEM.

This troper used to keep all sorts of funny things in her bag and was nicknamed Doremon. Physics teacher wanted to demonstrate properties of longditudinal waves and lateral waves and lamented that she had only one slinky so she couldn't do a comparison. This troper just pulled out another slinky and tossed it over. When asked why, only said the school had a lot of stairs.

Also had a bunch of tiny aluminium screwdrivers and a working tiny aluminium wrench, less than inch long. Someone asked for the screw drivers to fix his compass and knowing that he wouldn't be able to, readied the wrech when he asked for it. Cue CrowningMomentOfFunny when he asked for one as a joke and it was slapped into his hand. He stood there dumbstruck for 5 minutes while the entire class burst into laughter.

My mother has been known to pull anything and everything out of her purse -- including but not limited to: pipe wrenches, screwdrivers (Phillips and Flat), Canadian currency (we're in the US), medical supplies, a sewing kit (tape measure, scissors, pins, and that melty hem-binding tape as well as the usual needles and thread), an extra pair of socks, packages of peanut butter crackers, utensils, a Swiss Army knife, pens, paper, pencils, small packs of crayons (good for quieting fussy children), nuts, bolts, thumb tacks, paperclips, bobby pins, rubber bands, string, shoelaces, eyeglass repair kit, cat food, dog treats, plastic bags, guitar picks, toothpicks, erasers, a tiny rubber duck, breath mints, cigarettes, matches, cotton swabs, a calculator, empty film canisters (the 35mm film holder tubes), a yo-yo, and books. She got a Kindle because it reduced the weight of her purse. I'm thinking she needs an iPhone because she doesn't yet carry anything that does translations, gives directions, or plays games/music/video. My mother is a Time Lord

Example of this trope gone wrong- This Troper became obsessed with zombie-holocaust preparedness after she first read WorldWarZ, around the time last year my family went on holiday to Queensland and stayed in a rented beach house. For the most part, I felt secure that a house that was cyclone-proof could also be zombie-proof, but the owners of the house had this decorative shovel-like implement propped up next to the front door, and I resolved to use that as a weapon in the event of zombies. One night, I was up past midnight watching TV downstairs while my parents were asleep and my sister and cousins had all gone out to this party at a local pub. When they came home, earlier than I had expected I might add, they decided to use the back door so as not to wake anyone up. Like any sane person, I naturally assumed that they were the undead horde and decided it would be a good idea to greet my sister by almost smashing her head in with a (rather heavy) decorative wooden shovel.

Example of this trope gone right- I once embarked on a school camp with a huge bag full of Up-N-Go's. (milky 'breakfast shake' drink in a popper that everyone hates but me) Everybody thought I was crazy for thinking I could possibly drink all of them in the space of 5 days, but after the camp food started making people sick, I felt really smart because I had an alternative food suppy and they didn't.

I just bought a surplus NATO gas mask. And nothing says crazy prepared like a gas mask. All I need now is some smoke grenades and detailed plans for anything that I could possibly need a gas maks for (caught in a burning building, terrorist gas attack, having to go in the perfume store, etc.) and I'll be good to go.

This Troper has a friend who carries handcuffs with him everywhere he goes, and has a set of keys for them in every bag he's likely to bring along (as well as one key hanging above his desk). Over the years, they've actually come in handy a few times.

This troper and their boyfreind have full plans for Werewolves, Zombies, Nuclear War and Polital Destability. Guns arn't that legal in my country, so we have recurves. We both have piles of dried foods and lots of food-plant seeds.

This troper always seems to have just the thing that someone is looking for. Most obscure example she can think of is when her friend needed a stapler and for some reason, this troper had one in her backpack.

At a D&D Game that This troper was gamemastering, he decided to give every PC a almost-useless for-comedic-purposes-only power. One of them was a "God's favourite", so he could see and talk with them... when they weren't ready (P.E. Nature is The Mother of All, but form being Mother of All means she enjoys A Lot of Men) And the power of the most dim-witted player was "The GM never will take account about your load". That PC now has five bedrolls "Just in case he gets a wife and three children", six buckets "For the unlikely scenario he needs to carry six diferent kinds of magical water", and also, he has two portable rams. TWO.

Subverted: He don't carry any Iron Rations, nor a 10 feet pole, nor rope. And the ONLY time his portable rams would have been useful, a horde of allied mercenaries had a huge non-portable ram. He isn't crazy prepared, just crazy loaded.

Despite being teetotal, I always have a bottle opener on me, that doubles as my keyring (seriously, if you can't find that in your pocket in the dark...) - It has been a welcome idea at many a party, either as a relief for a friend who can't find one, or as an icebreaker. (NB: Icebreaker success rate not guaranteed.)

I can vouch for this -- I have been actively sought out in different rooms by people seeking use of my bottle opener keyring. It's not a good foundation for lasting relationships but it's a handy thing to have on you. Also, a decent LED torch on your keyring can pretty much save lives.

After taking advice from this page, this troper is now approaching a state of CrazyPrepared or at least well prepared. Since her MagnificentBastard role model of Lord Veternari has noted: there's no way to plan for every situation possible so don't. She has created her plans to be sure they are easily adaptable to the circumstance. She now carries a Leatherman, a phone, her iPod, two pairs of ear buds, a gaming system (usually a PSP), several games, duct tape, a personal first aid kit, and a set of keys to all the important things that need them. She also has a series of skills she hopes will prove useful in college including EMT training, and basic repair skills for most things. Now she's off to buy some WD-40.

This Troper's boyfriend embodies this.

This troper, following some of the intriguing ideas on this very wiki now carries around a pair of 64 Gig flashdrives. One contains virtually the entirety of the OtherWiki, the other contains every practicle book he could find digital copies of (agriculture, farming, masonry, etc) plus a wide range of portable apps and how to videos.

This troper knows how to mix TATP. He also has an external hard drive, which is a complete backup of his computer, and a thumb drive with the latest edition of Snow Leopard on it. In his backpack, he has a variety of stationery, RGB cables, the materials required to make TATP, 2 pairs of earbuds and some replacement silicone buds, mouth guards, paper, a burning laser among other stuff. He also learnt various first aid skills, including the Heimlich maneuver, CPR, putting someone in the recovery position and various methods of getting people in varying degrees of consciousness out. In case his pyromania gets out of hand, this troper also knows how to operate fire extinguishers, fire hoses and has a fire blanket in his backpack. He's planning on getting a bigger bag in case he needs to leave home in a hurry.

This troper carries a swiss army knife wherever legal, plus a deck of cards, sketchbook, pencils, paperclip, safety pin and the usual wallet and iphone. this varies depending on which jacket I have on, with my concert goin' jacket also containing earplugs, which were used in a nice crazy preparedness moment when my dad's ears started to hurt at a kiss concert. I also practice martial arts, and consider myself creative when it comes to improvising weapons.

This troper has been informed that Bert Gummer wants to come to my place if the SHTF.

Since he was 8 this troper has requested furniture and housing supplies and materials for gifts, planning to move since age 7. He was able to completely furnish a 2 bedroom house at age 19.

this troper has an extensive knowledge of the occult and a good amount of holy symbols should anyone try to summon a demon in his town.

This Canadian troper is deadly afraid of the zombie apocalypse, as she isn't allowed to legally own firearms without applying. Damn you Americans!

This troper has always tended to carry random stuff on hand, and thanks to this page has ramped his list up to the following: Two pens, a candle, a lighter, Two chargers ranging to just about everything, a bar of soap, a needle and thread, sinus medicine, three types of Tylenol, ibuprofen, ace bandages, face masks, a bundle of bandages alcohol pads, ear plugs, gauze, allergy medicine, tums, burn gel, waterproof tape, toothpicks, a toy pokeball, a hat, two packs of instant noodles, a snow globe, a rubber band, change in two different currencies, a pocket knife, a paperclip, a bottled water, bottled lemonade, a bunch of candy like taffy and chocolate, forks and knives, a pointer light, a laptop, camera, and a few more odds and ends. I also tend to pack my brain and knowledge of things like CPR. Oh. And a tie.

In addition to studying martial arts, this troper used to collect melee weapons of different kinds, everything from swords to bullwhips to nunchaku and sais. Mostly for decoration, but I also practised with them and made sure wherever I was in my apartment, there was at least one within reach. When meeting my girlfriend, I was afraid she would think me paranoid, but it turns out she had the same idea, and for years had kept "decorative" weaponry around her house. As well as a decorative baseball bat under the bed. AND a huge, black dog. It's to the point where I'm almost HOPING somebody tries to break in at night... :-D

For years, I also used to carry around a fake wallet in case of muggings. The real one was hidden, while the fake was easily accesible, and containing such things as expired or cancelled credit cards, an expired bonus card and small change in the local currency wherever i was. It worked, too... the fake wallet was stolen by pickpockets who didn't notice the real one.

Said girlfriend is also in the habit of carrying round several pens and pencils, note paper of varying size and types (sticky/non-sticky, etc), a miniature first aid kit, a multitool, various currency, a spork and other might-come-in-handy items. I just try to keep her as close as possible.

This Troper, in an attempt to demonstrate how CrazyPrepared she is, will now itemize all the things she keeps in her purse. Behold!

her wallet

a map of the mall near her house

measuring tape

sore throat candy (in a gum box, no less)

Advil

two pads ("lady stuff", for all you boys out there)

a pencil case with two pens (with caps!); three pencils; an eraser; a sharpener; and a highlighter in it

a notepad for writing down songs she wants to get

a notepad which serves as a shopping list

a ''third'' notepad which is for anything, really

her keyring (contents: two keys, four keychains)

her OPUS card (like a bus pass, but you fill it up instead of buying a new one every month)

a calculator

a strap for her glasses so they don't fall off when she plays sports

a ball (you never know when you're bored out of your mind and might want to play catch)

a tiny balloon (see above)

Kleenex

spare glasses

a glasses pouch that she uses to put her sunglasses in when she takes them off

lip chap

and, finally, three hair elastics. To be honest, you'd think it'd feel heavier, but it doesn't. . .until she takes it off and lays it on a flat surface, where it will invariably tip over on one side.

This troper and her brother have, of course, a plan for zombies. Both for our house and the small town we live in. For the house, it involves bringing the weapons upstairs, covering the basement windows with logs on the outside and on the inside, boarding all the windows inside and out, filling all the bathtubs with water (my family lives in the country, we have a well) possibly getting water from the nearby pond and boiling it, bringing a ladder upstairs than destroying said stairs, and making sure there is enough fuel to drive the truck to town, if necessary. Perch on the roof and begin. Also, metal.

I carry napkins with me everywhere. A little girl in the bus just got chocolate all over her mouth and clothes. Her mother thanked me wholeheartedly.

After hearing about the Gordon Freeman lookalike at the LHC has got this troper preparing for a Combine invasion.

This Troper is working on a 'Universal Plan B', nothing yet, but I'm getting there. So far, I know that 'Slather honey on it' and 'Plan A with napalm' aren't working.

Everytime this troper enters a place she's unfamiliar with, she plans an escape route; as well as using any unorthadox weapons she finds for protection in any place. This troper's family is also as paranoid so we are looking into buying a deep mine in case of nuclear war. We also have several firearms and a one bayonet, as well as an escape boat to a hard to reach island in case of anarchy or zombies. She have read the zombie survival guide, and it did not help her paranoia AT ALL.

After reading just a part of this page, this troper realised how Crazy ''Un''prepared he was. It was then that I decided to make some basic preparations for the first, and most realistic emergency scenario that might come up: if I was trapped in my room while my apartment is on fire. Being on the second floor, escaping through windows is a viable survival option. My bedroom has floor-to-ceiling windows divided into upper and lower panes; the upper window panes are operable but are protected by metal grilles, which means the lower, inoperable window panes are my only hope for escape. Realising this, I decided to swipe a hammer from the toolbox that was lying in my storage room and placed it in one of the first things I might try to save (a box containing documents that need to be archived, both important (birth certificate, passport, bank passbook, etc.) and unimportant) so I could use it to break the inoperable window panes in case of an emergency. I have also decided on other things I must try and save in an emergency:

My wallet, containing at least a bit of cash and, more importantly, my identification, debit and ez-link cards (I live in Singapore - the ez-link card is our version of the Suica, Oyster Card, Octopus Card, [=CharlieCard=], or whatever your city calls your version of the smart card that is primarily used for transit payment purposes

My backup hard disk drive, containing a backup of most of my personal files on my computer, as well as a full system image of my computer

Windows 7 installation discs, to be used as recovery tools for my computer data if needed

My iPhone, which contains contact numbers for all of my immediate family members (including their alternate numbers, if they have one), as well as a few of my other relatives; could also be used to contact emergency services. On it also is the wikiHow Survival Guide app. This Troper has trained herself to Speedchess all of her survival plans, working off of one common base plan.

This Troper tries to emulate this also. Always carries a hand-crank-powered torch, her first aid kit, money, keys, mobile, umbrella, her utilikey, kleenex, pen, prayer book & rosary, and even a harmonica (well, you never know!)

Since the time of writing, this troper has since gotten her act together, and her kit now contains: mini first aid kit; small tin with lighter, birthday candles, elastic bands, hairgrips, safety pins and paperclips; notepad, pen, diary, passport, handwarmers, rain hood, fem. hygiene pads, handcrank flashlight, biscuits, small pack of cards, screwdrivers, sunglasses, mobile, headscarf, minisocks, minitool, wrench-card, moisturising cream, hand sanitiser, hand wipes, stain removal wipes, toothbrush & paste, toothfloss, two folded up plastic bags, duct-tape on a pen, string, tealight candles, chopsticks, foldable fan, hairbrush, harmonica, teabags, miso, coffee sachets, sugar sachets, possibly a salt sachet or two, tick-removal tweezers, USB pen, and a Linux live disc. On her keys, she also carries a measuring tape and compass. In her pockets, she keeps her swiss army knife, and clean cotton handkerchief. She also wears an emergency whistle everywhere.

On a slightly different note, this troper carries a lot of things with them anytime they go somewhere with public bathrooms that most would consider Crazy Prepared, on account of being transgender. This encompasses: identification in both genders (including driver's license, library card, school ID, multiple debit cards, and passport, depending on the situation), clothing or at least accessories for various gender presentations (in backpack or car at all times), the knowledge to explain my situation in the four languages most commonly spoken where I live (and I make sure to learn it in the language of any place I travel to), a letter from my therapist, and printed copies of the local, state, and federal laws regarding use of gendered spaces. Plus self-defense training. While I am on the paranoid side, I know multiple people who do the same and have actually had to use all of this.

this troper keeps a 1000 foot rope in hime, just in case

this troper also admits to being kinda crazy

Yours truly has a long history of Crazy Preparedness habits, and various friends/family members discouraging it. By now I've drastically cut down my equipment to tools I'm reasonably likely to use every once in a while; pocket knife, small foldable scissors, little solar-charged lamp, band-aids, telescopic rod, compass. Earlier times it used to include a little whistle, a lighter, a bit of string, a ruler (snapped in two and taped together on one side making it foldable), a Swiss army knife, dice, tape, a small rolled-up plastic bag, and a loose door handle. All on the off-chance that I might be able to use it sooner or later. (And, admittedly, because I enjoyed having a reputation for quirkiness.)

This troper, true to his strategy comprised entirely of counters, is always ready with counters to the counters of his... err... counters.

This troper openly discusses the value of anyone or anything that could possibly aid in my survival during the zombie/robot uprising. I also have escape routes planned and have been self trained in lockpicking, hand-to-hand combat, armed combat, and parkour. This makes for surprisingly good conversation between me and my less-prepared friends.

The reason this troper was unable to buy her dad a surprise gift. #QUOTE#'''Troper''': (leaving the house) Be back in a bit. #QUOTE#'''Dad''': Why? #QUOTE#'''Troper''': I, uh, ran out of tampons. #QUOTE#'''Dad''': (crosses arms) That's a lie. You're ''always'' prepared.

Just to put this in perspective, this troper always have towels, a jumper cable, plastic bags, bottled water, a pocket knife, batteries, (usually) a travel pillow, blankets, a change of clothes, a hairbrush, some emergency cash, feminine products, and a spare pair of glasses in her trunk, her purse, or her pocket.

You'd never catch this troper at school without a bundle of unsolved picross puzzles, some writing prompts, one or two novels and/or a nifty cellphone game... and even if you did, I'd probably be writing a literary outline. It gets ''really'' boring sometimes.

Right now, I'm usually Crazy Unprepared - often I only leave the house with a twenty pound note and my bus-and-train pass. However, I used to be somewhat Crazy Prepared for school, as I carried all of my books and folders to and from school, in case I had to do my schoolwork from home, two books (in case I got bored and managed to finish them), a pack of playing cards, a pack of Tarot cards, my laptop, mp3, two memory sticks, mobile phone, purse, a matchbox-sized teddy (in case I had to cheer someone up - it was cute!), first aid kid, female sanitary items of all descriptions, hand wipes, foodstuffs, water, coffee, coffee complement, sugar, hot chocolate powder, tea bags, a length of ribbon, a ball of string, scissors, three types of glue, straighteners, hair ties, hair clips, ordinary stationery, a DVD (which changed regularly), an unwritten birthday card (in case I'd forgotten), and a spare t-shirt and underwear for just in case. I weighed my backpack once, and it was something like two stone. Eventually, I stopped because it was putting too much strain on my back.

This Troper uses a homemade armband for his mp3 player made out of duct tape; Spending an hour or two of my time thinking it up was a lot more fun than going and spending $20-30 would have been. Highway robbery, if you ask me. While making a redundant outer layer to reinforce it, I also taped in $3.75. Just in case I'm stuck somewhere without a wallet or cell phone and need to use the bus/payphone. May add in another 25 cents to be able to do both in a place where bus fare is $2.50.

A certain crazy Canadian has an emergency survival bag, including 500 strike-anywhere matches (you know, in case it takes a few tries), 6.5 liters of water, and both duct and electrical tape (there is no problem people aren't able to solve with those). The bag is an inconspicuous golf bag, hidden about two meters from the bed. Complementing this are many, many notes on an iPod, related to survival information, common weapons specifications, locations of easily defensible and resource-abundant buildings, and plant/animal identification. "But what happens when the battery goes dead?" The USB charging cord is carried at all times, and a plan to get one of those wall-chargers in the works.

This troper, as well as always being on hand with duct tape, once went to school with a note in my pocket saying "yes you are that predictable" for 11 days until i got into a situation where it would be applicable to use it. The look on her face was priceless :).

This troper has been building a large database of knowledge in case S ever [=HsTF=]. Everything from 50 physics textbooks and 86 chemistry textbooks and I-forgot-how-many biology textbooks, to entire military manuals on subjects ranging from psychology to hand-to-hand combat to trapping to long-range sniping to small-unit tactics and site security; as well as several hundred gigabytes total on knowledge of every time of weapon to fire a bullet, shot, or shell, or hold an edge, as well as survival manuals, both general and highly specific. I also have a collection of over 11,000 fiction ebooks, because when S has truly HTF, I'm gonna have a lot of free time, and boredom leads to sloppiness which leads to death. Oh, yeah, and all the guns in our basement would help, too. I also keep a condensed archive of information, programs, backups, photos, and other things that I may need at any time on keychain flash drives. Encrypted flashdrives.

While this troper isn't as prepared as some of you guys (because of you, i am now making a zombie apocalypse list and bag), i'm almost always wearing baggy cargo shorts and, if not, baggy cargo pants. With many pockets. their usual contents:

cellphone

Zune (microsoft's ipod, for those who don't know)

mechanical pencil

NAPKINS (so very, very useful)

small, pocket sized, spiral notebook

a game system (psp or ds) and a few games to go with it

1 pocket knife on my person, one small, sharp, pointy one on my keys.

and when I have my laptop case with me:

laptop

laptop charger

paperback (or small, skinny hardback) book

game system (or 2), games, and chargers for the respective systems

a spiral notebook

a mechanical pencil or a pen

so while not super crazy prepared, I'm working on it.

in addition, i can basically turn anything around me into a weapon (or at least can use it like a weapon), can run pretty fast (with my shoes off only, though), and i like to carry a water bottle with me everywhere too (a quick drink and a weapon in one!).

this troper is prepared to never get in fight with any troper on this page, zombie or otherwise.

this troper thinks that all of these elaborate plans are begging for failure. A wise man once said, no battle plan survives the first encounter with the enemy. As such, this troper is working on a VERY simple plan which an theoretically be modified to fit any needs. So far, it's;Make or find shelter, find a source of water, find food, do not die, and do not do anything stupid. In that order, because not dieing overides stupid when necessary. Also, as far as bug out equiptment goes, all this troper thinks he needs is a hunting knife, a machete, a change of clothes or three, a 350 foot roll of butchers twine, about two pounds of a'trail mix' made of dried figs and jerky, moist towlettes, a tarp, and a sleeping bag. Oh, and a large towel goes without saying. You can do lots of stuff with a towel. Anyway, note that most of this stuff can be held on a belt with pouches. As far as using anything in the surroundings as a weapons goes... Well, this troper knows Kung Fu. Literally. AND I has a machete.

this troper went on a backpacking trip a few summers back and everyone was laughing at her because of her over-large pack. this stopped when it started to rain, and she pulled out a half dozen extra plastic ponchos...and a few minutes later when one of the girls tripped and hurt her ankle, and this troper was the only person with an ace bandage, or a decent walking stick...or the next day when it turned out that our leaders had left the water pump by the last lake we stopped at( this troper had a small one)...or when the lighter died and this troper was the only one to have waterproof matches....or when a bare ate one of the girl's backpack( true story) this troper was the only one to have brought extra food...

in addition, this Troper never leaves the house without a book, pen and notepad, first aid kit, a snack, at least $3, a very sharp nail file, matches, flashlight, usb with all her important files, mirror, sewing kit, string, and a cell phone. she also knows Morse code, finger spelling for ASL. all this in addition to having multiple code phrases for everything from time travel to being in life threatening danger to signaling everyone to charge in a game of Capture the flag.

This troper and her friends have plans for what to do in a zombie attack, alien invasion, or major apocolyptic situation. We've covered every detail, who brings what (she's medicine and dried/canned food) a castle-like base (the local highschool) and there's even a list of people most likely to be as prepared as we are that we'll try to contact. It's especially helpfull to know that her friends' families include 2 doctors, a paramedic, 5 all-around repair men, a former janitor of said base, and a rocket scientist. And the Geek shall inherit the earth.

In preparation for a zombie apocalypse/disaster, my roommate and I have figured out very detailed plans on how we'd survive in our dorm building. Sitting at my desk alone, I'm in reach of two knives, a flashlight, pepper spray, two lighters, fifty feet of rope and dozens of blankets.

This Troper feels the need to get prepared for realistic emergencies, like Civil Collapse, with a backpack filled with First-Aid, Food, Water, Munitions, and a THICK book to keep me entertained during long nights...And keep the small caliber pistol ready in case of ZOMBIES...Fucking zombies...

while this is not that impressive compared to most entries on this list, this troper has trained himself to effectively emulate a green beret (outside of combat). everything from the basic name, rank and the like all the way to effectively faking a green beret (close quarters) combat stance. hell i went up to a random guy once and Bullshitted my way in him agreeing to give me his wallet. i then proceeded to tell him the truth...he was not amused.

This troper has a reputation for having just about everything in his coat pockets: he once tock a very large packet of ginger/spiced biscuits out of his coat to persuade a teacher to allow us to bring food into class the next day (well, it was the last day of school and he had stubbonly refused to allow it). By my sister's request, however, this reputation will vanish after New Year, by not wearing the coat.

This troper has realized that she is not CrazyPrepared. She is prepared for the crazy. The contents of her bag include glow in the dark puffy paint, chopsticks, and two sharpies.

I prepared for when I'm an EvilOverlord, TheHero, and TheVampire, all thanks to one page on TV Tropes.

You would not ''believe'' how useful it is to get one of those little collapsible mini-umbrellas and stuff it in your purse/bookbag/what have you. Other ridiculously handy objects include ballpoint pens, flashlights, screwdrivers, and pocket knives. If you can get one of those little sonic screwdriver toys that contains a pen, a flashlight, ''and'' a screwdriver, all the better.

This Troper's grandfather once witnessed a car crash where the driver became trapped by his (then newly-invented) seat belt and perished when the engine caught fire. Reportedly, her grandfather kept a pocket knife on him at all times afterward for just in case the situation would ever come up again. His granddaughter (the Troper) merely always keeps pen and paper with her to the point of it being expected and has five things within easy reach of her desk and bed in case of a fire: cash, cell phone, a spare set of undergarments and her favorite childhood toy.

This troper takes to school with her: a pencil case containing scissors, a scientific calculator, a ruler, a sharpener, half a dozen pens/pencils, several erasers, glue, tape, string, staples and paperclips; another pencil case containing two flash drives, an external hard drive, two connector cables, an extension cable, a guitar tuner, two guitar capos and earphones; and a wallet containing a small torch, band-aids of varying sizes, bus times for her usual buses, a map of anywhere unfamiliar she may be headed, at least two forms of ID, at least two methods of payment, chapstick and individually-wrapped sanitary wipes.

This troper's MP3 player AND laptop broke down ON THE SAME DAY. Luckily, this troper's mother had an extended warranty on the MP3 player AND a her old black MacBook in case of a moment like this.

A rather sensible example: when I had to hand in an essay to a teacher, I e-mailed it to her as well as printed it out before the lesson. Very few other people were able to hand it in on one of those forms in time for the lesson, but had to e-mail it to her some time after school (which was still technically on time, but still...).

After reading this page, this troper started keeping things in her backpack that she thought she might need. Including, but not limited to: pocket knife, duct tape, nylon rope, clipboard filled with spare paper, a copy of her resume and the rules to Zilch dice, a sharpie, Seasame Snaps, mp3 player, bandana and a spork. She felt like she was lugging around dead weight for a little while. At least, until she found herself at work without a belt one fateful day, at which point the rope came in very handy. All those items have come in handy since she started carrying them, but her favorite story was the day she used the spork. At her job, she often recives tips, some of which are not necessarily money; she's been offered such random things as cinnamon buns, to scratch and win tickets and one time even pot, which she declined. The spork came into use the day all the workers were given half a cherry pie for a tip. That's half a pie ''each.'' The others had to sit and drool over their pies, but she got to eat hers, thanks to the spork she never left home without!

While this troper is too broke to buy any guns, I have several knives, the adresses of nearby gun stores, and an extensive knowledge of how to operate various weaponry from pistols to shotguns to light machine guns. Me and my friends also have a plan when (not if) the zombie apocalypse strikes- steal a fire truck, take it to fort knox, modify it to be sturdier, roomier and have a bigger gas tank, and obtain assault rifles, and a sniper rifle and machine gun for the truck.

Probably not much of an example, but this troper has a tendency to bring his backpack with him everywhere he goes after leaving his home, and among the contents are a flashlight, a digital camera, extra double and triple A batteries, a digital tape recorder, five pens, three pencils, spare keys, reading material, gloves, sunglasses, a (full) reusable water bottle, deodorant, a comb, a highlighter, and a mini-stapler and stapler remover, plus whatever school things or other things he might possibly need on a case-by-case basis. Recently he was justified in doing this when a CD/DVD player his professor was using to play an opera had its batteries die and we couldn't plug it in. He asked if anyone had any spare AA batteries, not expecting a yes, and I produced some immediately. He also had to use the stapler later in the evening. This was on the first night of class. It was awesome.

Same troper: Unfortunately it's also subverted as often as not because of my ridiculous level of absentmindedness, which makes me lose things on a pretty regular basis, often never retrieving them and needing replacements. To illustrate this, I lost one water bottle three weeks ago, got it replaced after a week and a half, and then ''lost the new one'' a week later, this past Tuesday, only realizing I left it at the college over 24 hours later on Wednesday night (I don't have Wednesday classes). My level of preparedness is probably the only thing that keeps me from constant crisis, meaning it's actually ''not crazy''. These are only a few of the things about me that make my friends consider me a bit...off.

This troper swore to his friends that, should he ever get a DeathNote one day, he would always keep one with him at school - but that he would tear a page and keep it in one of his coat's secret pockets, meaning that he would never been defenseless. He ''did'' get one. So he did just as planned. Several bets with friends later, I proved that I was able to get that DeathNote in my hand luggage while going on a plane without it getting noticed - just in case...

Afer reading this article this troper decided she wasn't crazy prepared enough and took steps to rectify this. Being Australian she is a native speaker of English and can converse in Spanish which covers a lot of the world. Taking hints from tropers above she thinks she will start to learn german also. She used to do jujitsu which will hopefully help her out a little bit in a fight. Also as of now (April 10 2011) she has in her bag...

Band-Aids

Bobby pins

Blu-tack

Cash/coins

At least $50

Chewing Gum

Compas

Deoderant

External Hardrive (1TB)for a backup of laptop files

Hair ties

Hand Sanitiser

iPod

Keys

Lighter - you never know when you might need fire.

Lip balm

Mouth Wash and mini toothbrush

Multi-tool (knife/screw driver/bottle opener/scissors ect.

Bus timetable

Notebook

How to say "do you speak english?", "Help", "Where is the toilet?", "Please", "Thank you", "Sorry, I don't speak ___" in Spanish, German, Italian, French, Polish,Mandarin, Cantonese,Indonesian, Japanese,Portugese

How to tell the time by the sun

Contact details for me, my family and two friends (in case of emergency)

Train routes

Pens

Rope - thin (I have a thick one in my room but it would have been to big for my bag.)

Safety pins

Spork/knife - all plastic

Sunglasses

Sunscreen

Tape

Tissues

Torch

Umbrella

Wallet (Key card, ID, insurance ect)

This troper placed a certain card, called Magical Blast in his Yu-gi-oh deck one day on the theory it might be useful to protect me from running out of cards in my deck (you normally lose automatically if your deck has no cards in it during your draw phase, but Magical Blast allows you to retrieve it from your graveyard if you skip your draw phase). Not long afterward, it actually came in handy.

this Troper is slowly becoming this. When walking he carries a short knife, flashlight, and his trusty Labrador Retriever. He also has multiple contingency plans for Government Occupation, Foreign Invasion, Zombie Apocalypse, Riots (For joining of course!), and being caught looking at porn.

This Troper might not be called CrazyPrepared per se, but he always carries at money in at least two different currencies, has several more at home, and mass transit smart cards for at least two cities, specifically London and Boston.

While playing D&D, this troper decided that, while his party was about to fight a group of nasties from on top a wall, to spread caltrops along the edge of a broken portion of the wall, in case any bad guys tried to sneak up invisibly. What actually happened was a minotaur coming out of a room, leaping up onto the wall, leaping the broken portion... and landing right on the caltrops. DM had me roll to see if the caltrops hit... and rolled a natural 20. And confirmed the crit. This was lucky, since the minotaur was heading right to the squishiest member of the party. Said minotaur was stopped in his tracks, which bought enough time for the party's paladin and fighter to take down the minotaur in two turns.

I am more instinctually crazy prepared than anything else. I know how to skin a rat (the eyeballs come off with the skin for some reason), catch a rabbit with no weapons, weave flax, catch eels with a stick with a fork on it (Mmmmm... selfcaught eel... sooo gooood!), know how to approach, friendlify, and ride a horse, know how to milk a cow, have no qualms about eating raw fish, know most of the animals in the neighbourhood, dangerous or friendly, know the locations of various fruit trees and other edible plants (btw, rhododendron and pohutukawa nectars - sooo good!), know several methods of finding and purifying water, know the mountains well enough to find shelter, given enough time and opportunity, make a makeshift bow, shoot a bow and arrow, what to do if I find myself in freezing water, how to rescue a drowing person (which is harder than it seems on paper or when practicing, man they flail!), know how to make and use a sling (almost broke the neighbour's window), how to make various types of fire, know how to le parkour over the rooftops of the surrounding area, at least, know rudimentarily how to hit someone with stick, book or rock and how to escape from them, know how to fish and I know where I can find various shelters out of the rain, should I be caught out in the city more than a thirty minute walk to home. But I don't know how to shoot a gun. I am also an instinctual hoarder, and have several caches of food and money that I've forgotten about. Most of these have been picked up from experience, and most without actually seeking to learn them for survival, they just seemed fun at the time.

My mother keeps a baseball bat next to her bed: made of aluminum and has a very long reach. She is also a an {{Action Girl}} and a {{Mama Bear}}. Don't mess with her.

This troper will do all sorts of crazy prepared things in various situations. To elaborate:

Lost flight itinerary or hotel checkin papers? Photocopy.

Also uses photocopies for any printed lists of sightseeing.

Loud noise? Earplugs.

Keeps many tabs open at once in internet explorer.

Avoid parents seeing bought item they might not approve of? Hide carefully.

Really good drawing getting wrecked? Scan it quickly after finishing. Accidental deletion? Mail it to alternate email address, so the original, unedited will be retrievable.

this tropper is the embodyment of this trope to the letter so much so that his backpack has been nicknamed the "mary poppins bag" or "the magical bag" and has been accused of having "bag of holding pockets" while working (for local conservation charity) it's not uncommon for his small backpack (actually an austrailian army webbing pouch) to be holding a machette (only carried while working in the woods), an over stocked first aid kid, sketch pad, pencils (both graphite and coloured) sand paper, blu tack, duct tape, length of cord, knife, food, 2 litres of water, deck of cards, field guide to plants (and other useful things) screwdriver, set of alen keys, climbing kit and a waterproof jacket. on top of this this trooper usually caries a penknife on his belt packed in a pouch with a flint and steel and a length of steel wire (used to open CD drives when working his seccond job fixing computers), a sewing kit in one pocket (containing 3 types of thread, folding scissors,needles, safty pins and extra buttons), a ball of string, a helograph (2 sided steel mirror with a hole in it) pocket first aid kit, 2 pens (with in built torches) lighter and/or waterproof matches, a wire saw, padded leather rapelling gloves, martial arts licenses, a compass (with magnifying glass) and a seccond smaller knife plus a keyring (which happens to be a kobutan and a ram module). and to quote this tropers boss after this troper pulled out a roll of duct tape and proceeded to repair a broken mallet "you really do have everything in that bag" it's often joked amoung other group members that if they left me in the woods with nothing but my underwear and came back 3 months later I'd have a 3 story log cabbin with hot and cold running water, electricity, and all teh comforts of home and more. something which anyone I grew up with would agree with.

And if this isn't enough this troper's room happens to have enough weapons (from martials arts training and long bows from archery) to kit out a small army, books on survival, medician, herbal medician, science, notes on how to build hydroponic units and wind turbines (among other things) and a detailed zombie survival plan (made while joking with a friend after reading the zombie survival guide and WWZ)

I've gone on a hunting trip where the truck was loaded with 2 days worth of food, a first aid kit, rifle, shotgun, 2 week supply of water, 30 rounds of rifle ammunition, 50 rounds of pistol ammunition, cold weather gear, warm weather gear, a tent, chairs, sleeping bags, GPS, 2 cell phones, extra pairs of shoes and clothes, towels, and a cooler. The trip was 3 hours long.

This troper keeps a bag under his bed in case anything bad happens and he has to run like hell. First, it contains a homemade first aid kit made from items that can be found at your average supermarket (bandages, aspirin, antibiotic ointment, and soap, all in a big plastic bag). There's a black beanie and a pair of leather work gloves in case of cold weather or, in the case of the latter, some tough work or climbing needs to be done. There's also one of those 4-in-1 multi-tools (compass, whistle, thermometer, magnifying glass) and a set of camp utensils. There's a three-and-a-half inch folding knife, a carpenter's hammer, and {{duct tape|ForEverything}} in case he needs to make repairs or modifications. For light, he has a box of matches (also good for starting fires), a windproof lighter (ditto), and a water-resistant flashlight. A full dental care kit (toothbrush, toothpaste, and floss) is in there to keep my mouth from getting diseased -- and in the case of the floss, it has other uses as well. Finally, there's a deck of playing cards thrown in there to deal with boredom.\\ \\ Outside of the bag, this troper also has a crowbar, a machete, a can of pepper spray, a Swiss army knife on his keychain, and two one-liter jugs of clean water.

This troper always carries a pocket knife, bobby pins, pain pills, condoms, two mobile phones, three flash drives with copies of important documents, a USB cable, pen, pencil, sharpener and eraser, 20 of each Euro coin, a notebook, DS or PSP and (sometimes, depends if I'm wearing jacket/coat or not) pocket sand and bug spray.

Forgot to mention that I also keep an axe under my bed and my grandpa's old handgun under the pillow. I also keep a bow and arrows inside the closet. Just in case.

To finish, I keep an extensive database of most people I know in my PC (family, close friends, colleagues, etc.), complete with short psychological profiles, any personal history I can find, reasons why they could want to ruin my life/kill me and methods to avoid it (I've also got Xanatos Gambit-ish plans on how to kill some of them and get away with it) and notes detailing my personal experiences with them, personal opinions and other facts. While I tend to speculate a lot on the database, most of that speculation eventually turns out to be true.

This tropette knows every pressure point on the human body by heart and multiple ways to kill/seriously injure you with my bare hands if need be. I also have a vast knowlege of disease, mental disorders, and how to deal with people afflicted by both of them. Aside from this I am very good at dealing with mass hysteria. Did I mention I am twelve?

On one school trip I asked my teacher to put something in my backpack, the teacher opened it and responded "sure, I'll put it right next to your...electrical tape." Unfortunately it did not come in handy on the trip (taping smaller backpack to larger backpack is ineffective), but recently I was able to tape a friend's broken combat boot back together with it. I also frequently plan what I would do in case of a zombiepocalypse.

I have done this twice:

I used to carry around a pen and paper in case I came up with jokes. Not very crazy? Well, I also carried three extra ink refills for the pen in case I ran out of ink, some tape in case I ripped the paper, a pair of scissors in case I need to use the paper for something else but want to preserve the jokes, and a comb in case my hair fell in my eyes and I couldn't see the paper. (I stopped doing this after I lost interest in making up jokes.)

I also used to carry around a flashdrive with a word document (approximately two and a half pages long) detailing my "threatened with a knife by precisely two people" plan. If I was threatened with a knife by three people, I was screwed. Ten people, I was screwed. ''One'' person, I was screwed.

When Dr. Henry Jones Sr. thaught me anything it certainly was to always have an umbrella ready. Always stays in my bag and comes in really handy when it starts to rain unexpectedly, but I have yet to scare off seagulls to jam the engine of a Nazi airplane.

This troper is an avid aficonado and practitioner of the martial arts, and loves to listen to songs and come up with different combinations synced to the rhythms of certain passages (along with different possibilities for blocks as needed). Why? Because if he suddenly is forced into a fight, he doesn't have to come up with combos on the fly; [AutobotsRockOut he can just think of an adrenaline-charged song and have a combo on hand.]

This troper has herself a Trust Password for in case she ever ends up time-traveling. She also carries a plastic bag, something edible, a water bottle, pens, pencils, an eraser, a notebook, and her multitool with her at all times. And she's learned how to make boxes out of any square sheet of paper she can fold.

This troper has stashed small, nigh-indestructible metal boxes somewhere in geologically stable remote areas that each contain several items important in the case of a global catastrophe. This troper would also like to, in the case of such aforementioned global catastrophe, meet up with other tropers from this page and ride out the apocalypse in high style. If just one of the above tropers can do the things they describe, multiple tropers working together should be able to do a truly amazing amount of things.

Wait, these all lead to the same page. What if the page itself goes down?

I have a hard copy.

And if case someone steals the hard copy, never fear! I have memorized the entire page!