This troper was walking up a ramp towards a group of friends when one of them spontaneously lunged towards me and kicked me in the nuts. I responded by punching him in the face, removing at least a few of his teeth and his braces. I felt pretty badass at that point and have been considered so since then. My mother however had me call said friends house later that night and I ended up apologizing to his younger brother. That felt slightly less badass.

This Troper's family used to have a trampoline. Me and my father would wrestle on it. Little Kid + Violence + Parent. He ended up in pain basically every time. You know, my parents later tried to have a second kid. I wonder if the reason it never worked is because I accidentally sterilized him.

Dear God. This male troper has two stories, both very {{Squick}}, so feel free to tag these as spoilers if you want to. Once, I was chasing my sister around the house because she had the remote to the TV, on the way, I ran into the door getting a splinter stuck up in there. Another incident was where I was trying to jump over a barbed wire fence, missed it, and punctured my scrotum with one of the barbs on the barbed wire. I went into shock afterwards and had to be taken to the hospital. The underwear was fine, though.

This female troper was given one of these accidentally once. She and a (male) friend were in a particularly silly mood and somehow ended up ''folk dancing.'' Cue agonizing kick to vulva so horrible that all of the guys (and most of the girls) in the room were wincing.

My GF did this to me once by accident. We were lying next to one another and snuggling when I ran my hand along her spine. Apparently I touched a nerve or something because she suddenly had an involuntary spasm where her knee shot out and hit me square in the nutz. Almost threw her out of the bed for doing that.

Was anyone filming it perchance? Maybe for, how do you say, the tubes?

By a strange reason This Troper seems to be a groin attack magnet, in absolutely ALL classes of any sport, he ends up in the ground shouting "MY BALLS!!!" I remember one particular time, having to lift another player in rugby, as I was lifting him, his leg moved violently in the direction of my ballsack... I ended up in the ground not being able of lifting myself for about 5 minutes

This troper's younger half-brother might as well have a bullseye on his nuts as well.

My GF, entirely on accident after I hugged her. Her back is ticklish, her leg was between mine. It didn't hurt as bad as it could've though, thanks to lookse pants weighted with junk.

Are you me? I know this happened to me at one point or several. (PS I'm Dirge)

This Troper has been practicing Judo for about six years. In a match, I went for an O-soto-gari, but ended up just pushing my opponent forward. They then pulled me while I was far out and did a tomoenage. Rather having the foot land on the abdomen, it went straight onto my family jewels. As if having a foot with the force of your body weight on it wasn't bad enough, I was then '''lifted up into the air and thrown''' by my testicles. I also landed improperly because I was in so much pain. Ouch.

This male troper took up Soo Bahk Do and took a nutcracker during a promotion test.

This Troper gave an unintentional groin attack once during Combatives training. In trying to get his opponent under him, he pulled his leg up, sending his knee right into his opponents balls. It was like in the TV shows as the guy curled up in the fetal position. This Troper forfeited out of courtesy and took the 20 pushup penalty for losing.

This is this Tropers favoured method of attack, and this troper also has balls of steel, scoring a goal in football (soccer) with his balls (by accident) from an absolute stinger of a cross, and managed to get to the half way line before collapsing in agony.

This troper once got kicked in the nuts...by his girlfriend...after sex. I was climbing off her when (she said) her leg jerked up from a post-orgasmic spasm and caught me square in the Philosopher's Stones.

This troper had quite a funny one. He was climbing a tree and slipped. There was a sharp branch a while down and you can guess where it landed. Needless to say he visited the hospital later that day after one grew twice the size and went black. Thankfully I can't feel groin attacks anymore.

This troper has both given and gotten shots to the nuts during his middle school days. The Main/GroinAttack this troper most remembers was a hard knee to the balls from a middle school buddy of his that had him curled up on the blacktop for a moment, though puking was not involved. Being friends, we got over that in no time.

This troper frequently threatens, attempts and succeeds at Groin Attacks when annoyed or feeling particularly violent/evil. Her friends and family know that if she gives you a certain look, you better protect your balls. It's great to rule with an iron fist (or a swift kick in this case). It's also entertaining to describe certain Darwin Awards and seeing the guys ''squirm''. Psychological groin attack!

My husband winces at seeing a GroinAttack played out on our TV screen. Is that normal for men?

Yes, yes it is. The original poster is always amused to see every guy in the general vicinity wince or flinch when a GroinAttack is made (on purpose or otherwise). Yes, she is sadistic and very mean, what of it?

This male troper once received a soccer ball to the groin... and shrugged it off after about 10 seconds and continued playing soccer.

This troper once experienced this very thing. Hardly even any pain. He'd like to think he's just that tough, but it was probably just a (very) near-miss.

This troper was nine when it happened. All the fathers watching on the sidelines simultaneously went "Oooooh." while looking pained.

I once took two consecutive groin shots from a star soccer player. After the first, I obviously kept playing. After the second, my gym teacher was amazed when I kept playing. He was less amazed when I blacked out about forty-five seconds after my stoic declaration of "I'm good."

I somehow manage to accidentally give these to ''myself.''

It happens, such as when coiling up an extension cord really quick and not paying attention to where the free end is whipping around when you're almost done.

Or ::cringe:: doing the laundry and trying to shake loose a rolled pant leg by whipping the pair of pants downward. An extra ::cringe:: if the pants are jeans. Webcomic author David Willis actually illustrated this once.

This Troper has had times when he's dropped something, gone to catch it, and smacked himself in the nuts with the backswing.

This troper administered one to his cousin via ''electric shock.''

This troper was once talking a friend about his karate class. She asked him how it went. He said "Alright... but I got kicked in the chutzpah." Despite the unusual choice of words, this troper understood perfectly, and proceeded to laugh herself sick.

Might not qualify, but this happened to my sister when she was sparring with someone. She told me that the next thing she knew she was on her knees. Also, this troper knows someone whose wife kicked him while he was wearing a cup. She ''shattered'' it. As the story goes, he didn't realize what happened until she started screaming because of the blood.

Tofu}} This Troper practices Shaolin Kung Fu. I am very happy that every kick involves placing a hand to protect the groin and the basic stances make such an attack impossible from all but the most bizarre angles.

Friends in the Society for Creative Anachronism once described the J-shot to this troper such that the following eyewatering made him miss most of the rest of the conversation. It involves swinging a wicker sword up the inner thigh to hook the edge of the victims cup, pulling it down and making the...er...dangly bits start to fall out, then the cup snaps back against them, trapping them between cup, groin and thigh.

This troper, at a collegiate fencing tournament, actually toppled a Cadet from the United States Naval Academy with one of these, and earned himself a free 2 minute time out while said cadet picked himself up off the floor and caught his breath.

This troper was the only girl on her soccer team and played defense. During one game, she was knocked down by a rather aggressive player who decided to be cute in running her over. As he ran towards her, he didn't see the fact that her leg rose up with the cleats pointed right at his crotch. A teammate of his pushed him out of the way in time and said player left her alone for the rest of the game.

Self-inflicted example: This troper once worked construction with a guy named Joe who created a 'Spanish Windlass' using a 24 Oz. Carpenter's hammer as a toggle. (A spanish windlass is a clamp made by using a stick to twist a loop of rope. It's basically the same mechanism traditionally used to power catapults) All went well until he got a hankering for a cigarette and decided to ''to place the hammer between his knees'' to free his hands so he could light up. Well, you can pretty much imagine what happened next: The hammer slipped, accelerating in a 270 degree arc before the waffle face precisely nailed his 'dangly bits' ''from behind''. Needless to say Joe got the rest of the week off...and enough ribbing to last him the rest of his life. The nail jokes alone went on for ''days''...

This Troper has a Prince Albert piercing. The day I got it, I was scheduled to play Dr Scott in the local Rocky Horror show. The girl playing Janet decided, at one point, to sit in my lap. I'm pretty sure dogs could hear my single, high-pitched "meep" in neighboring counties. The audience was a bunch of sadists. They laughed... a lot... The kicker? She did it AGAIN at a restaurant after the show. This girl was not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

My girlfriend got in a fight with her best friend last week and suffered a thrown dictionary to the vagina. She hates this person now and has been complaining to me nonstop about the "bitch" every day since.

For good reason. This troper, um, ran into a gate. Multiple times. Then tripped over it. Thankfully, the latter couple times only got me in the soft part of my thigh, leaving me a mass of bruises, but... ow. The thought of someone causing similar pain deliberately...

Be prepared for a few of these if you ever decide to take up spinning poi.

This troper's soccer coach once challenged the strongest kicker on the team to kick the ball between his legs. He regretted it.

This troper was woken up by his younger sister hitting him there with his own tennis racquet.

This troper was doubleteamed by two girls in an arm-wrestling match.

If we're counting accidents, there was the time this troper's brother was using a baseball bat to hit tennis balls for our dog, and didn't notice me behind him...

This "troper" (more like a reader of tropes) heard a story from his stepdad. Apparently when he was biking, a bee somehow managed to get in his pants, and...it stung him right on the tip too. Painful.

This Troper had a similar run-in with an ant. Not pleasant.

One time at daycare, this troper (maybe 7 or 8 years old) received a kick to the groin. She dropped like a rock. The boy responsible, however, wasn't punished for it because according to the woman in charge "girls don't have anything down there". Bull. Shit.

As a fellow female troper, this kicked-in-the-crotch troper sympathizes and can confirm that ''it hurts like hell'' for women too. (In her case, though, it was an accident. They were playing in a backyard pool, and her friend's foot lashed out to push him forward... and accidentally hit her in the groin. He was EXTREMELY apologetic.)

Agreed. This troper's mother nailed that sensitive area falling off her bike seat and onto the bar (straight-across 'men's bike' bar, not slanted 'women's bike' bar). The sight of blood prompted a visit to the clinic, where she was told she'd basically lost her virginity.

This male troper has successfully managed, twice, to hit a girl in the crotch. It was an accident the first time. He was about five then.

This troper managed to get herself in the crotch by accident. During a high school gym basketball round, I got knocked over and fell straight down. Well, my foot turned sideways under me and guess where the sharp bottom edge of the tennis shoe ended up? Needless to say, I sat out for a while. I now have MUCH more sympathy for boys.

Also, I had the bike variation as well, around age 8. The wheel slipped off the sidewalk into a storm drain and the seat went straight up. The resulting blood prompted my mother to give me The Talk on periods.

During elementary school, this troper was bear hugged from behind, and ON REFLEX, swung his arm back, grabbed the guy's happysack, and yanked hard. Quite amazing, considering how he was facing away from the said hugger the entire time.

This female Troper hangs out with a mixed group of girls and boys. The boys like to sneak up on the girls and bear hug them or cover their eyes. Most of the girls squeal. This Troper? Let's just say the guys don't try that with me anymore after one blacked out.

This troper's History teacher was hit in the groin during baseball practice with a bat. He complained constantly and limped very slowly around the school for two weeks.

Groin attacks are fairly common at this troper's high school. My friend was annoying me once, so I threatened to hit him in the crotch if he didn't shut up. He didn't take me seriously. Next time he annoyed me, I casually walked away, but as I passed him, my fist lashed out. When I looked back, he was doubled over on the floor. This also sparked three other 'sackings' against this friend; He got it again less than five minutes later, and twice in the first period the next day.

This troper has two examples:

The first is a great one - two punch combination. I find that the elbow and knee can do the most damage. A move I am now feared for (And I'm a muscleless nerd) is to, while casually walking by somebody I was just in a situation with, pull my arm in towards my chest and then let it release directly into the stomach of the victim. ItGotWorse. Some human reflex is to grab the stomach with both hands and slightly widen the legs. Turning around 180, my too-strong-for-my-own-good knee is at a perfect angle for a crotch shot with a power level of over nine thousand.

Secondly is a case of gym class. The teacher, for some convoluted reason, allowed 2 popular girls whom I hated with a passion that could be compared to [Insert Pop Culture Reference Here] to both be goalie in floor hockey. I get a breakaway, and figure that they deserve to be punished. A slap shot makes a perfect GroinAttack on the left goalie, and since the floor hockey puck is rubber, bounces back. Slap shot the right goalie. Still score. Watch 2 people I hate writhe in pain and go unnoticed.

This short troper is downright lethal when using the jujitsu throw Tsuro Goshi. It involves swinging the hip round to throw your opponent. Ostensibly it should connect with the solar plexus, but it invariably strikes her opponent's groin. She does, however, win plenty of bouts.

This troper was explaining the "headbutt to the ovaries" from Maddox's Alphabet of Manliness to a friend and an incredibly thick girl he knew. He went through the motions, explaining that you need to have an excuse to be down there, so "try proposing," and the ditzy target did nothing as I was explaining it before this troper grabbed both of her hips and, well, headbutted her in the ovaries. Mua ha ha ha...

I've gone through the whole page and I have a tale that tops THE WHOLE PAGE IN SHEER HORROR. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE SQUEAMISH. THIS IS AN ENTIRELY TRUE TALE. A friend of mine who was a medic at a Singapore army camp told me about an incident where the flag got stuck halfway up the flagpole. Flagpole has two prongs, one sticking up and one facing down, to wind the line around to secure the flag. One of the soldiers jumped up a few times to try to unstick the flag. Long story short, he got hurt. Apparently there was a huge amount of blood, and the thing in the testicle that resembles a coiled up string actually UNRAVELLED ABOUT ONE AND A HALF METERS OVER THE GROUND. My friend actually had to collect the cord in order to casualty evacuate the soldier to the medical centre. Last they heard was that he was discharged from the army and has significant mental problems now. If you for some reason happen to visit any Singapore army camp, you will see that, at this point in time, almost all the flagpoles have a large yellow box surrounding them and the words "DO NOT JUMP" or something similar written in large letters inside.

This troper has accidentally done it at muay thai (thailandese kick boxing) practice. She was trying to do the kra-tuk (don't remember the exact writing just the spelling) that's basically a move where you clasp your hand behind the neck of your opponent and pull him toward you while pushing your knee to get him in the stomach. I was the only female in the whole group and I was used to be the little one (174 cm against men of average 185 - 190 cm) in the bunch of tall and burly man. My instructor keep insisting that I was aiming to high and that I've got to aim lower, a mechanism I ended to incorporate. So, when a new-comer of roughly my same height came in and start practicing with us I miscalculated and ... It didn't help that my instructor was the founder of the muay thai italian lega, the promo of the annual worldship match that happens in my hometown and kept insisting I need to be more aggressive (he was hoping to get me in the female circuit [he failed] and in the female circuit aggression could be a life-saver from what I've seen) since I was too 'soft' and 'afraid of hitting too hard'. I don't think the man who got my knee in his groin would actually agree, since I decided to put it all in that particular knee-hit (I weighed, at the time, roughly 74-76 kilos)

The Women's Self Defense class this troper took taught us (among other things) many variations of groin attacks: the above-described technique with a knee to the crotch, the classic kick, a heel to the crotch (if grabbed from behind), and ''grabbing the guy's testicles and pulling. Hard.'' The aim is to disable the attacker as quickly as possible, so women are taught to aim for the groin ForMassiveDamage.

This troper also took a self-defense class, offered in his freshman year for P.E. credit. A video near the end of the year had this as a viable tactic, along with gouging the eyes. It wasn't just for women, though. It was just supposed to be defense against any male attacker. I have to say that it works if you twist hard enough.

This troper's freshman year during cross-country and track seemed to consist of this (as sack-taps anyway), from two upperclassmen. Somehow, we're all really good friends. It probably helped that I got some very sweet revenge at the end of the track season.

This troper also unintentionally performed a groin attack on a fellow student that same year, it being unintentional probably being the only thing saving it from being a {{Kick the Dog}} moment. My friend was humping/jumping against one of the school doors, and I was on the other side. These were the kind of doors that you can push open, instead of having a handle. So I wait until he starts jumping again, and kick the door open. My timing worked out so that the edge of the door caught him full on in the crotch. One of my friends is convinced that the previously mentioned sack-taps throughout freshman year were reverse Karma for the massive ding on my {{Karma Meter}} for doing so.

This troper was subject to several "cup checks" over the course of his high school football career. Such checks were usually issued by upper classmen and consisted of a quick but strong backhand tap.

This troper still remembers an incident in the local news when a little old lady was attacked by a nude druggie in her home, and dropped him by grabbing and crushing his testicles.

This troper once watched a truly epic one among his coworkers at his summer job once. It involved the attacker lying in wait around the corner of a building. The attackee never saw it coming. He was down on the pavement for quite a while, swearing heavily the whole time. He got him back later in the day with a GroinAttack of his own.

This (male) troper once had an...interesting... experience involving a bucking horse and an australian saddle. I'll leave the details to your imagination, I wish I could leave them up to mine.

This troper has been kicked, flagpoled and frisbee'd in the balls before. If he's still potent, it'll be a miracle.

This troper was on the [American] football team in middle school. Once, when trying to field a punt, he let it slip through his hands. While not wearing a cup. The next five minutes were spent in agony, doubled over on the field.

This troper has two to his name, both on French soil. The first was at Eurodisney in January last, on a bucking bronco that happened to be in the Disney village. This being a school trip, I (first person is easier) had the "bright" idea of spreading the word to everyone that I was going to be an idiot and try and ride it. I was successful, at a fairly high cost to my testicles. The second Groin Attack of doom came at the end of May last year, on another school trip to France, this time to an adventure camp at Lou Valagran. Everything was fine to start with, until I ended up having to climb a pole and jump for a trapeze. Now, this would ordinarily have been fine, as the harnesses were well secured. Unfortunately (though I only discovered this too late), I had the crappy harness. I climbed the pole. I jumped for the trapeze. I missed. My reward was my straps flying straight up to the crown jewels. I screamed. Needless to say, I was -not- one of the people clamouring for another go. Combine these with that goddamn chilli, and I'm just going to stop going to France.

Speaking of Disney, This Troper went on the Tower of Terror, and on the full drop, his souvenir mug somehow found its way between his legs during the free-fall. The landing was very unpleasant.

This Troper learned early on that girls are not immune. When they were little at birthdays and whatnot, the children would be isolated form the Basset Hound in the living room, with a barrier preventing the dog from entering. His sister was stepping over the barrier using the Ottoman, when the bit of furniture slipped. Ouch.

This Troper has fortunately not received too many of these, but several of his friends have; one got hit in the nuts by a baseball from a pitching machine (during baseball practice). He missed school the next day. Another guy got hit with a lacrosse ball during gym class, after which lacrosse was removed from the curriculum. The same friend also got whacked in the nads with a hairbrush. The brush broke, leading to countless "Balls of Steel" jokes. (He still had trouble walking for a while.)

This troper's breaks and lunch times often resolve around everyone getting into either a big fight or in a huge pile together on the floor (don't worry we just say "Get off" or "stop it" if we want someone to stop kicking our ass). Anyway a bunch of people had managed to get me on the floor and one of them started teabagging me. What did I do to get out of the situation? Punch upwards and (accidentally) hit him in the groin. I'm sure I saw a couple of people just wince nearby.

This troper's brother won a fight with a boy three times his size by kicking him in the groin.

This troper's younger sister tries to do this to him a lot, usually when they're teasing each other. Fortunately for him, her aim sucks... and when she ''does'' land a hit, he can usually ignore the pain long enough to punish her.

This Troper's Aunt was telling the family about this guy who got a groin attack at a ski resort. By the time the story was over, all the men had left the room.

This Troper (The same from the Tower of terror Incident above) remembers being on the receiving end of this trope combined with ThrowTheBookAtThem. Hardcover. 1/2 inch wide. right on one of the little strings. I still get recurring pains in Sinistree (that's the left one, FYI)

I was once fencing a boy. He had me 'legged' (I was on my knees), and when he came in, my sword came up between his legs and the tip slipped underneath his cup. Cue moaning in pain. The funniest thing was, his mom got it all on video.

Someone in my class during a technology lesson did this to me, with a file. He just hit me with it. Nothing was removed, but it still hurt. I'm just glad that he wasn't brandishing one of the many saws in the class. Of course in the same day I also got a shoe thrown at me. Guess where it hit me. I also got elbowed there as well, all in the same day. And in my school fencing taster, THE CUP MALFUNCTIONED! And once someone pushed an attractive girl towards me, on the way towards me she brought he knee up and... ouch. Also immediately she accidentally got me with he foot again. She said: 'That can't hurt that much!'. I called her an idiot and she did it again on pupose!

This troper has had a combination GroinAttack and CantGetAwayWithNuthin. Playing some handball back in the days of the old school yard, one of the other guys, on retrieving a ball, threw it and hit me with a deliberate groin attack. Cue a ChaseScene which ended up in a building. Cue SternTeacher (I wouldn't go so far as SadistTeacher) hearing the noise and asking why I was chasing the other guy. Cue {{Detention}}. For me only.

This female troper was watching some kids play four-square, and one of the boys was trying to be cool and tried to bounce the ball between his legs. He hit himself in the nuts. It was hard to feel bad for him when it was just so stupid looking that she had to look away and laugh.

Five minutes ago as I type this, my mate James decided to fart on my bed, in retaliation for this I decided to chuck my deodorant can at him, not aiming for anything, it hit his left testicle. He fell to the floor in agony, ready to kill me. Then he started laughing and going into hysterics. To make matters worse he went to the toilet to check everything was ok, he caught his dick in the zip.

A DungeonsAndDragons example: Party vs. barely-dressed trolls. Party cleric is dual-wielding maces. Makes a pair of called shots to the groin to disable one. First roll: Natural 1. Second roll: Natural 20. DM: "You hear a squishing sound. All male characters roll a DC 15 will save vs. sympathy pains for one round."

Another D&D story: My original group uses a mix of older editions and home rules, including critical hit charts. Instead of simply increased damage, we roll a d100 to determine something interesting happening. One of my friends was running a ranger named Nanoc who rolled a crit with his bow on one of the giants we were fighting. Quick reference to the chart and we see "Genitals/breasts torn from body, 2d6 extra damage; bleed to death in d10 rounds." From then on we called him Nanoc Eunuch-Maker.

At lunch one day in high school, this troper and his friends were experimenting with water-bottle cap projectiles. Don't ask. One cap went under the table, ricocheted off the floor, and hit me in the nuts. Cue a TourettesGuy line: "Motherfucker, you hit me in the DICK!"

This Troper's little sister loves doing this to him. She loves how she, a 4' little girl, can topple her 6' big brother. Unfortunately for this troper, she only does this when our parents aren't at home.

Two accounts:

A guy who had a crush on me got kicked in the groin by another kid for the sake of being an ass. Luckily, the kid got what he deserved by getting a suspension for a few days.

Another account was by me on accident. During recess while I was in elementary school, I kicked a dodge ball and when it went off in the distance, it hit an unsuspecting boy right in the groin. I fled.

This Troper has Labs, which being water dogs have very strong tails. They happen to be just the correct height for groin attacks. But rather than being a direct impact, it's usually a stinging sensation. Which lasts much longer than a direct hit.

Once, when this troper was five she ran up to her dad like she was going to hug him, as she usually did, but instead stopped and punched him in the groin. It's a faint memory and I can't remember why I did it for sure, but my sister gave me a cookie afterward.

After an accident in PE dodgeball freshman year, this female troper can confirm; no matter what the actual equipment looks like, getting hit down there HURTS.

This troper knows a Waffle House waitress who kicked another girl "in the box" for insulting ''Literature/{{Twilight}}''.

Really hoping this trope wouldn't apply to this Troper, but on the last day of helping out at a Boy Scout Day Camp as a den assistant, it happened. Walking back from the headquarters tent to where the rest of the den was, a scout (from another den, I might add) frisbee'd me really painfully. Took about 15 minutes to stop hurting. Luckily it was the end of the day when it happened, and I had just used the bathroom, so this trope wasn't combined with PottyFailure or BringMyBrownPants.

A friend of This Troper once executed a GroinAttack ''via uppercut''.

This Troper went to a school where they were considered normal in fights. I started wearing a groin protector in class, the first day a classmate hurt his fist on it, then everyone stopped doing it.

Suffice to say in this troper's choir there is a reason one of his friends is named "cockpuncher"

In sixth grade, while standing at a bus stop; this troper overheard a conversation that sounded something like: #QUOTE#'''One Guy''': Man, I am so pissed right now. #QUOTE#'''Other guy''': Then go kick that kid in the balls. -points in my direction-

Thankfully, I was able to dodge the first attempt, and there wasn't a second one.

This troper used to take hapkido with his brother. during a tournament, I was paired off with a girl and whenever the judges weren't looking she kicked me in the crotch, a total of three times. I won the match, bowed out, walked five steps and promptly fell over into the fetal position

This Troper doesn't feel groin pain very often. It's taken 5 punches and a couple minutes for me to feel it, and it's still perfectly within ignorable range. One of friends is very unfortunate with this though. I once ran at one of my other friends in attempt to push him. He redirected me, 3 guesses what happened next. It's like the first friend has a massive gravitational field around his testicles. You know that football -> old man's groin gag in TheSimpsons? TruthInTelevision. From all the way accross the field.

Did it make the little ''boink'' sound?

Two particular occasions around this troper:

When I was younger, my older brother and I would scuffle sometimes. One such time when I was eleven, brother tried to get his little sister in a body slam. I was flailing reflexively trying to support myself when my knee landed in entirely the wrong place. Did I mention he was ten years older than me? Or that he was fresh out of Army Ranger School at the time? Or perhaps that my mom (who was sitting there watching) taunted him by singing the bluegrass favorite "Daddy sang bass, ''brother'' sang tenor"

I was backstage at my church's Christmas program with my best friend and a few guy friends. The guys were made up like the Blue Man Group for a part of our youth choir performance, and the two of us were helping with another number. Inevitably two Blue Men started play-fighting out of boredom. In an attempt to block a blow, one guy accidentally jabbed his hand right in the other's blueberries. Blue Man went ''down''. Cue my friend and I laughing hysterically.

One of my friends was discussing a movie about man-eating koalas(Three words: Eucalyptus scented lotion). The following exchange occurred during recess. #QUOTE# '''Friend:''' DUSTIN! THERE'S A KOALA ON YOUR BALLS! #QUOTE# '''Me:''' I'LL GET IT! I was wearing steel-toed boots at the time.

Dodgeball. This Troper took two for the team, and was hailed as a hero. This also happened to me in Taekwondo class a few times, but I was somehow no worse for wear. Odd, huh?

This troper had it happen to him at a young age. For reasons unknown (I forgot the details)), one of my neighbors (A really weird girl who though she controlled me like a puppet) delivered a swift kick to my crotch. I collapsed to the ground in pain, the only though in my head was "Ow! My fire hydrant!"

This troper got whacked in the cods with an onion thrown as a projectile when he was a lad of only eleven or twelve. I mean, who uses a friggin' ONION as a projectile? Needless to say, it hurt.

Witnessed by this troper today at rehearsal for ''Once Upon a Mattress''. The rehearsal was for the Spanish Panic, the hardest dance scene in the whole play, and during a five-minute water break, one of the actors lunged at another one in an attempt at a flying hug, only for the other to dodge and allow the flying baseball player to drop his crotch directly on his hip. He spent a good two minutes rolling on the ground and clutching at his balls as he was dragged to the other side of the stage by his foot.

Occurred to this troper three days before that incident. He and his girlfriend were at Magic Kingdom (yay for living in Central Florida) when they were about to start the holiday fireworks. He and his mother sat on a bench, while his girlfriend sat in his lap. She's 5'4 and has some good muscle, so there were some issues with it. Namely, when they got up and started walking to the Haunted Mansion and this troper suddenly got a horrible pins and needles feeling ''right in the junk''.

This Troper accidentally did this to her friend in elementary school. She was extremely mad at him about something and meant to knee him in the stomach. Suffice to say, he was a good bit taller than me and I uh...didn't quite reach my target. Cue me being on the verge of tears and profusely apologizing once I'd realized what I'd done.

My group that I hang out with in the morning has taught me 2 very important things. 1: Cover the nads. 2: wear thick sleeves. One girl is a biter, the other has a tendency to kick people in the groin. The most dangerous day was when her friend joined the group. He made her mad, She kicked him. He didn't want to kick her, and I was the closest target. Since I can't hi a girl, I asked one of the other girls to help. The other guy got it two more times before school started.

I was bitten by a small dog. Guess where?

Friend 1 is climbing up tree. Friend 2 has a violent rivalry with Friend 1. Friend 1 jumps down, Friend 2 is prepared. He landed on friend 2's arm, collapsed to the ground and wouldn't get up for a while. Luckily we all found it hilarious.

Though I wince at the memory of Friend 3, who is basically the ultimate metrosexual (who will flirt with ANYTHING) decided to also use violence to prove a point to Friend 1. He grabbed him from behind and LIFTED HIM OFF OF THE GROUND BY HIS BALLS WITH MUCH SCREAMING

Guys getting accidentally stabbed in the crotch is not an unheard-of phenomenon at my fencing club. The tunic's shaped to prevent as much of it as it can, but most of them are still loose enough for the sword point to slip...

During one karate class, this female Troper was paired with one of the more klutzier boys of our school, who ''ALWAYS'' does something painful to me whenever we're paired up. The excerise had one person holding a punching bag and the other kicking. At one point I moved the bag, but he didn't switch his trajectory path, and...

This troperette has done many GroinAttacks through the years.

This female fencing troper accidentally stabbed a male fencer (who wasn't wearing a cup) right in the dick at practice recently. As far as I can tell, none of the male fencers in the club actually wear cups, even the one who's been hit in the junk seven times in the time he's been fencing (And yes, he kept track.). In any case, I got the point since the whole body is the target area in epee. Heh heh...

This Troper's father once walked into a crotch-high bollard (note that this was before Said Troper had been born/concieved). Apparently, it was so painful that he thought he'd never have kids. He'd later be proven wrong.

This Troper has been hit in the gonads with a soccer ball once. Oddly, I was able to keep playing-it felt only about as painful as if I'd been hit in the arm, and it was a hard kick, too...odd.

Once, in 2nd or 3rd grade, I was walking along the top of a bike rack, which I did regularly. This time, though, it was right after it rained and I took a wrong step, slipped, and got "bike racked". Luckily nothing was seriously injured, though my voice stayed really high for a few hours afterwards.

I accidentally did this to my dad once. He jumped out from behind a corner of our house while playing with my brother and scared the living crap out of me and I kneed him in the crotch. Whoops.

This troperette accidentally kicked a friend in the sweeties once (the final attack to a body beating). We were practicing our kicks when he noted that MichaelJackson fans still thought he was alive. Since I was still raw and hurting from the trauma of his death, I saw red. Here's the thing he said after I kicked him in the groin: #QUOTE#''"Are you..oh god...sure...oh momma...that you...owie...don't need...ooh, that hurts...practice?"''

A strange example happened to this troper when he was once in elementsry school. While I was waiting with my friends for my class to start, a small CloudCuckooLander boy was running around the room minding his own business, and then he came and looked up to me with a strange look on his face. I was confused at why he came to me, so I merely said "Hello" to him, and then he ''landed a punch at my testicles for no reason.'' He then ran away after the groin attack. I'm still confused on why he would do something like that.

This troper has accidentally deflected a roundhouse kick by trapping it under his leg while throwing a higher roundhouse. Twice.

Once when backyard wrestling this troper got a cat dropped on his nads. A freakin' cat!!!

If you annoy this troper too much, this will happen to you. Also, I once got kicked in the groin and managed, through sheer force of will, to not collapse or comment about the pain. I nearly fell on the fence, though (to give you an better idea of the scene, the fence was about knee height).

This Troper gets threatened with this fairly regularly but defuses the situation with the magic words, "I don't believe you can hit a target that small."

This female troper takes martial arts was practicing with a young, very klutzy boy. She held the pad up for him to kick, he kicked...and missed. She would like to invite anyone who believes this doen't work on girls to find a girl to kick in the crotch (or alternatively get someone to kick you in the crotch). Share The ''MALE'' Pain, my ass.

Bored boys at my summer camp used to play a game called "Sack Attack". Everyone sat in a circle, legs apart, and took turns throwing a football at the other participants' sensitive bits. Last person to show pain wins.

This female troper has had a few groin attacks on her. The first one was when she was a kid and riding her bike. She crashed into a car head first, her groin hitting the handle bars...there was a really ugly bruise. The second was in 10th grade when playing goalie for soccer. Her friend had the ball and kicked it as hard as she could which then struck her square in the groin. ThisTroper groaned in pain and then started laughing. It hurt like hell but she had to admit it was pretty funny

This troper often gives lengthy explanations to his friends on why groin attack is more practical and effective than most martial arts, and is often involved in GroinAttack-related incidents, but the one he remembers the best is when he "accidentally" slid a steel Rubik's cube (yes, steel) across the floor into the crotch of a friend sitting cross-legged. What happened afterwards is best left unknown to fellow tropers.

His obsession with his trope started in middle school. It as a relatively unregulated school, though for some weird reasons students are required to wear uncomfortable uniforms, which include, as you might have guessed, steel-toed boots. The then-geeky troper quickly worked his way up the food chain, often using this fact to his advantage. Oddly enough, he doesn't feel most groin attacks.

this troper had PE at the Y back in 8th grade. One day her class was playing baseball or softball. The batter was a girl, the umpire a boy. As this troper was watching, the hitter swung the steel bat behind her to warm up her arm, and well, you know the rest...

To all male equestrians out there: ever been doing a posting trot when the horse comes to a stop and you end up falling onto the part of the saddle that curves up in front of you? It's not pleasant.

This troper used to practice Tae Kwon Do in highschool. One session was a form of toughness training where eveyone was lying on their backs in line, and someone would literally walk on their stomachs. Being the most frail looking one, this troper was picked to do the walking. Problem was that his of footing was not quite right, and ended up steeping on everyone's groins instead (OW!). It didn't help that the resulting noises everyone made reminded him of sounds heard from the ThreeStooges TV shows that he couldn't help laughing (the instructor thought his feet were being tickled, since training, like all martial arts, is done barefoot).

At this troper's LARP group, there's an old saying "It's not a real adventure until Ollie gets a pod-shot!", seriously, the poor bastard gets hit every single adventure.

This troper is male and has been hit so many times in the groin (through sports, accidents, etc.), that hits to said area no longer hurt at all. This troper is wondering if something is now wrong with him and if he should seek medical aid of some sort.

This Troper always aims for the groin

As a {{combat pragmatist}}, I've done a few of these on purpose to my brother (he's older). The funniest was when I did two accidentals in a couple of hours. I sometimes randomly feel pain in my nuts for no reason.

This Troper has had that happen to him as well. If it's still a problem, I recommend you ask a doctor about it.

An iScribble conversation between This Troper, a female friend, and two male friends turned into a warning in this conversation. Male Friend 1 had recently gotten a pet kitten: #QUOTE#'''Male Friend 2''': never let cats play with toys on ur laps #QUOTE#'''Male Friend 1''': ...Why not? #QUOTE# '''Male Friend 2''': for various reasons #QUOTE# '''Male Friend 1''': Should i be fearing for my life? #QUOTE# '''Male Friend 1''': Oh... #QUOTE# '''Male Friend 2''': more like your pride #QUOTE# '''Male Friend 1''': Ooooooohhhhhhhhh... #QUOTE# '''Male Friend 2''': they scratch #QUOTE# '''Male Friend 2''': alot #QUOTE# '''Female Friend 1''': xD #QUOTE# '''This Troper is chortling''' #QUOTE# '''Male Friend 1 stares at the cute cat on his lap.''' #QUOTE# '''Male Friend 1''': Oh dear... #QUOTE# '''This Troper''': Cute should not be trusted. #QUOTE# '''Female Friend''': xD xD

This troper suffer an accidental groin attack from his friend. She was trying to hit the guy next to me, but hit me in the balls from behind.

This troper's friend kicked a guy in the balls so hard he went flying into a laundry basket. It was hilarious and I was oh so very glad I wasn't him at the moment.

It wasn't quite me, but at the middle school I went to for eighth grade, I had some classmates who, during gym class, would re-enact scenes from Jackass. One of them (a tall guy, dressed in goth, rather friendly guy) stood up against a wall and let himself get sacked down low with volleyballs, repeatedly. And then out of nowhere someone lost control of a basketball and it got him right there. To this day I still get sympathy pains from it. And for a straight example, my younger sister LOVES trying to pull these on me, which thankfully I've learned to shrug off (and for the record, she's 7 years younger than I am).

Happened just today (10/20/10) to This Troper while I was being a referee for a flag football game. The previous play had been incomplete and the ball was thrown back about 20 yards to the line of scrimmage. Looked a lot like what happened to Brett Favre.

I actually GroinAttacked myself. with Nunchucks. Not toy nunchucks, either. These nunchucks were made for the sole purpose of causing pain. They were made for usage by riot police, and when I bought them, I was warned I would get hurt. That was very, extremely painful. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to find some BrainBleach.

I had quite an experience with this. My father got Groin attacked bad. Mom threw a TV remote to him and it his right the groin. He curled up into a ball and started saying that he couldn't move his legs. I laughed so hard at it.

This troper (thankfully) has never been a victim of an intentional groin attack. However, just last night, I had a book land right on my testicular region. Much pain was had. On the other hand, I also tend to be the one threatening people with a groin attack.

This male troper was repeatedly struck in the groin during a fight when he was thirteen. He had never been so glad to be born without testicles before.

My friend had a pretty bad groin attack. He jumped into a swimming pool and he landed right on top of someone, on his balls. He actually had to have surgery to fix them, and after that everything was all sore and had swelled up, except for his penis, which had shrunk...then a few students training to be nurses came in and looked at it. He was so embarassed as well has having the worst GroinAttack I have ever heard of.

Whenever this editor deals with little kids, there's a good chance he'll end up doubled over and clutching his whatchamacallem at some point. It's usually not on purpose - little buggers are just the right height and love to run around. Everyone else finds it hilarious for some reason...

Two stories: the first one was about a friend of mine (a little girl at the time), who, while playing in a park, landed in her privates...on a tube. She told me her parents took her to the hospital and that it left a scar, but for obvious reasons I didn't saw it.

Second story: I played tennis once with two guys, resulting in one of them (let's call it Bob) getting the trope by the net (Bob was passing from one side to another, and his brother raised the net by accident), by a ball (twice) and I think also by the racket. Bob was so angry at his brother (who was LOL ing at him), that he throwed him the ball directly in his nuts, making he stay in the floor for a while. It was a funny game. #QUOTE# Bob: There goes my offspring.

One of this troper's much loved pet ferrets was an adopted stray. We don't know what happened to him while he was roaming, but shortly before the shelter found him he apparently suffered a nasty accident which caused him to rip his genital sheath off - ferret penises are hidden in a skin pouch when not in use, as their legs are so short the important bits would drag on the ground if they weren't tucked neatly away. The important bits were unharmed, or at least were till we got him neutered (un-fixed ferret hobs tend to become irritable and smell funny), but inadvertent circumcision can't have been fun. We had to disinfect the wound every day for a fortnight after we took him home, which was rather more information about ferret anatomy than we really wanted.

A few years ago, two friends of this troper (all three of us are girls) were having an argument (I've forgotten what it was about) and one of them got kneed in the crotch by the other. The one who got kneed ended up doubled over in pain, and apparently the bruises lasted a long while.

This troper knows a guy from college that has:

Had a hornet fly up his loose shorts and sting him...there.

Missed a target with his BB gun and nearly turned a bull into a steer. Needless to say, the bull was not happy.

This troper (same guy as above post) seems to be a magnet for groin attacks himself, ever since childhood.

Took a shot directly to the nards during a game of dodgeball.

Has been on the wrong end of a well-aimed snowball.

Always seems to be getting hit by an errant swinging purse or backpack.

To top it all off, this troper's cousin - a nine-year-old girl - is now aware of the effects of said attack on the male body and psyche, and uses the threat of it often to bend him and her own two older brothers to her will. When this troper has refused her requests anyway, she has made good on the threat.

This Troper's father just learned to ''never'' sneak up behind her and scare her on karate night.

One time at lunch, one of my friends was being annoying. Eventually, another one of my friends had enough and did one of these. The one on the wrong end is by far the smallest and lightest kid of the group, and the one dishing it out was only beaten in size and strength by a six-foot-tall ginger. Yeah...

I've taken 2 soccerballs to the groin and 1 toy hammer. Yeah... Don't ask.

According to my high school wood shop teacher (who may have exaggerated this story or made it up so we'd take the machines seriously), one of his previous students was hit rather hard in the groin by a plank when the table saw he was using kicked back. Allegedly, his first words after a half hour of being in too much pain to speak were, in a strained voice, "Will I still be able to have children?" He was still able to, and his flattened testicle ultimately returned to its natural shape.

This troper, as a child, didn't ''quite'' comprehend gender differences, to say the least, and was a bit of a BoisterousBruiser. At about 8 she discovered a guy's 'weak spot'. This ended about as well as you'd expect.

This Troper was in a sissy fight with his sister and it eventually ended with her kicking him, with her heel, in the crotch. '''''HARD.'''''

Same troper. Last summer he was playing 4-square with some friends and a camp councilor and the councilor had the ball, threw it down and it bounced up square into his groin.

This Troper had a tree root slap him ''down there'' while picking up garbage on the highway.

This troper falls in with a certain group of people. We really like to wrestle and stuff like that, obviously. We also like pain-based games. One such game is called "cup-checking". It usually involves a gentle slap to a pair of unprotected testicles when the victim isn't paying attention. Sometimes, we go overboard. I've been cup-checked with a crowbar, a wooden board, and a tossed football. None of these were nearly as painful as my nephew'sversion, however. He likes to wait until you're sitting down, then he puts you in a choke-hold and drives his fist directly downward into your scrotum as hard as he can from a 90-degree angle, shouting "CUP CHECK, MOTHERFUCKER!!!" at the top of his lungs while giggling like a lunatic. The kid is fourteen years old with the face of a choir boy and is naturally shy around strangers.

This Troper remembers at incident at a high school dance (wasn't present to see the incident) where one of the girls deliberately and apparently unprovoked, kneed one of the guys in his guys so hard he spent two hours in the toilets crying.

This Troper was outside tossing around a football with his little cousins and brother. the ONE cousin that is a guy isnt old enogh to understand it beyond "ha ha, it makes guys fall down!" decided to WHIP the football from a few feet away. i was inside the rest of the day.

This troper took one in gym class. We were playing softball, and I'd misjudged a ground ball that bounced up and nailed me in the nuts. I finished the play and spent the rest of the class on the bench.

This troper's cousin seems to have a liking for this. Especially to girls whom she considers as a bitch (Incl. me sometimes). Once she swung a nunchuck from behind for teasing her too much, which led me into a serious Potty failure. On another occation, I pranked her younger brother by punching his nads, while drinking. He got really angry and came towards me, only to stopped by his sis as we are cool for a while, and it became a joke. Thank god, later then she told, "My womb almost exploded out of my arse when I did the someting similar to him". He is a football player. And a Red Hulk.

Do you know how you interrogate a Norgorber priest in {{Pathfinder}}? Pull down his pants. Pull out his own war razor. Ask him if he wants to keep his manhood intact. When he says you don't have the guts to do it, prove him wrong. Totally worked for me.

I was doing the high jump in gym class. I ran, jumped, and didn't ''quite'' clear the bar. One leg made it over but the other didn't. That's all I say.

This Troper's experienced some himself, but cannot (and like most sufferers, would prefer not to) recall specific examples, but his best friend/roommate has lately taken to occasionally trying to perform the dance move known as "the worm". ''On hardwood floors.'' Among he and his friend, this has basically become a regular thing, to the point where anytime the friend yells "THE WORM!!!" he knows exactly what is coming.

On a (high school) senior retreat to a campsite, this troper finally got over his fear of heights enough to try the campsite's zip line. The harness was fitted rather snugly around the groinal region. When this troper jumped, gravity ensued...shortly followed by a lot of pain.

Same troper, same high school. Circa 2003-2004, a guy could not walk through all two-and-a-half hallways of the high school for fear of getting a 'meat shot' from another male classmate. This 'game' eventually went UpToEleven, with guys whacking each others' crotches in more creative, stealthy, and unpredictable ways. On more than one occasion between classes, a male student in a large crowd would randomly sink to the ground and people would start to gather around him. Perhaps mercifully, this troper had very few to no close male friends in high school.

Never ever get your nuts whacked by balls (of the basket or soccer variety). They do NOT mix. Also, please make sure to don't sit on them by mistake either.

This troper's taken a basketball to the pills before and agrees that it hurts like hell, but argues that baseballs do much more damage because they are smaller and commonly thrown much harder. Example: he heard a story about a former classmate (he had transferred by this point) on a high school baseball team that had been taking bunt practice, which some of the players normally did without cups. As he squared around (turning his body and the target in question toward the pitcher), a fastball went awry and drilled him right there. You guys can wince now. But ItGotWorse: [[{{Squick}} one of them exploded.]]

This might have been a case of LaserGuidedKarma meets DisproportionateRetributon. Said victim of GroinAttack also dealt one (although nowhere near as severe) to this troper during his last week at the school.