No shit?

'''No shit.'''

To be fair, it doesn't seem like many people are reading this disclaimer before they post.

Damn, I was about to add a hilarious story about coprophilia. Oh well, guess I'll have to sate my fetish with the rest of the page.

Erotophonophile, over here.

It helps if you have a pencil or pen in your hand when you snark. Then you can flip it to be even more condescending. Just make sure you catch it.

This troper has always found the highest measure of snark ability to be how well one snarks at oneself. It makes the insults you throw at others so much better received (read: you don't like as much of a Jerkass) if you toss in a healthy does of SelfDeprecation every now and then, not to mention the practice that you get from it.

This troper is often like this, especially when watching everything. It's annoyed my family countless times when I won't stop snarking at the characters for whatever stupid thing they're doing or saying.

Are you me?

{{This troper}} was going to post several arrogant paragraphs chronicling every vaguely sarcastic comment she had ever made and then come back later to read all the comments about what an unfunny loser she was, but instead decided to just quickly mention that her mother has banned her from opening her mouth while ''TheXFactor'' is on.

This troper recalls an exchange between herself and her art teacher #QUOTE# Art Teacher: You drew that vase wrong! Where can you buy such an ugly vase??!! #QUOTE# (Switches to first person)Me: Crate and Barrel!

This troper can be pretty snarky at times. One example that had almost everyone present in hysterics ''twice'' was at a showing of Eclipse. During one exchange (I don't remember who it was between), there was a ''blatant'' DoubleEntendre, and so me being the snarker that I am, I go "Bow-chicka-wow-wow!" The whole cinema just cracks up. The second time around was when Victoria is killed, and as soon as head hits the ground, I go, "Dead." Again, the whole cinema cracks up as I say, "Bye-bye, bitch!". Then when [[KillItWithFire sets her on fire to finish her off]], I put on my best Dan Forden impression for a single word: "TOASTY!!"

I can't even tell if this is a joke or not. But I really hope that it is.

Ahh, you must be the rumored one fan of Literature/{{Twilight}} on this entire wiki.

If no-one can tell, then why do I bother?

{{This troper}} isn't a very good one, but he still makes himself feel cool like his favorite {{anime}} character by posting on TVTropes about how much of a witty and highly regarded {{deadpan snarker}} he is, citing situations in which he made a {{cliche}} or vaguely sarcastic remark while remaining completely oblivious to the underwhelmed and unamused reactions of just about everyone that hears his comments. Actual conversation:

'''Classmate''' (asking a teacher in class): "What's going to be on the test tomorrow?"

'''Me''' (loudly and very deadpan from my seat in the back of class): "Words"

'''Everyone in class''': *too stunned by wit to say anything*

Do I detect a hint of sarcasm in that entry?

{{This troper}} had a {{deadpan snarker}} moment at lunch one day. We were eating when my friend Jeremiah said:

Jeremiah: "You know I was thinking about something."

Me: "That's a first."

(Nearby kids laugh)

Jeremiah: "Mr. Norman (history teacher) was talking about how the caveman culture was expanding, right? So they had to be having SEX!"

Me (deadpan): Really? Jinkies, Scooby, you solved the mystery!

All the history teachers in this troper's school are {{Deadpan Snarker}}s to some degree. Especially when they repeat the other students' horrible grammar in a monotone voice in order to make them look like idiots.

NOTE: Someone went all over this page leaving Snarky comments. They just did it so much they crossed the line from DeadpanSnarker into JerkAss.

Big surprise there.

Yup, just saw the comments. I guess that particular {{troper}} didn't understand "snarker" and "asshole". Or, it was someone from one of the many small groups that don't like TVTropes for reasons unknown.

I don't think anyone else on this page understands it either.

Yes, how dare they be snarky on the DeadpanSnarker page.

Snarking at snark? '''HOW CRUEL.'''

Wow. {{Trolling}}. That's SOOOOO original.

In this case the difference between a snarker an and asshole is whether or not they're snarking on your examples

PROTIP, people: There's a difference between being a DeadpanSnarker and a complete asshole. Last time I checked, being a sarcastic dick to random people for no reason is NOT Snarker behavior, but JerkAss behavior. For fuck's sake, learn, guys.

This troper's friend's dad was at a pawn shop when his dad asked the cashier if they sold furniture. His reply: No. You might want to try a furniture store.

This tropette knows someone on the internet who is definitely this {{trope}}. This video shows how much of a Snarker he can be (he's the big guy in the fedora).

{{This troper}} was rowing (Crew) with a 8-man boat. We were preparing to start our 2 kilometer piece when I, in bow seat (the most forward seat) realized that about twenty small one man boats (singles) belong to the B-team were in our way. #QUOTE#'''Me:''' "Hey guys, we should warn the singles to get out of the way." #QUOTE#'''My buddy Sam:''' "They'll figure it out."

{{This troper}} usually isn't a snarker, unless irritated. And even then, it mostly fails. Actual conversation: #QUOTE# '''Alice:''' (Trying to convince people she's desirable, because of multiple boyfriends at once) "I'm really hot, hotter than you'll ever be! #QUOTE# '''Me:''' (Complete deadpan) You're so hot, what little brains you actually have have been fried. Congrats.

You're too hard on yourself. That was fucking awesome.

ThisTroper left his aunt in stitches from his incredible dry wit on his last visit. His snark varies by the mood he's in, but in general there's always a little snarkiness.

Most {{Troper}}s.

All {{troper}}s.

The {{trope}}s themselves.

This is why SincerityMode came about.

{{This troper}} and a friend both played {{Deadpan Snarker}}s in a World of Darkness game once. It was probably the silliest World of Darkness game ever played.

Everyone WANTS to be a {{deadpan snarker}}. A real {{deadpan snarker}} tries desperately NOT to be one and fails.

Exactly! {{This troper}} tries not to snark, as it causes him a great deal of problems. He usually manages to keep his snide remarks in an internal monologue, but sometimes it slips out.

Same with @/{{Cosman246}}, who is criticized for being caustic and sarcastic.

Same with {{this troper}}. Didn't realize it until very recently, and I am surprised I didn't realize it earlier.

Same here, too. People don't want to go to movies with me anymore.

Same here. None of my friends want to sit by me when we go to the cinema.

Same with {{this troper}}. It doesn't help that when I actually am being snarky it sounds sincere and vice versa.

{{This troper}} does his best at keeping his remarks at bay, since it's easier to handle moody (well, any, actually) people that way, but it's quite difficult to actually remember not to comment until it's too late.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF Goddammit, how can I be {{Shotacon}} bait when I speak my mind so much!? Screw the tactness, I have wit!

It helps if you're making snarky comments about ''events and things'' instead of ''people''. If you can refrain from snarking about others, then it really helps ''both'' your NiceGuy and DeadpanSnarker reputation.

'''UPDATE''': Cuteness-induced high-pitched childish voices brings down the concealment of sarcasmic volume. This Troper ultimately subverted his snark.

As @/SapphireFlame already explained, my snark level varies with my mood. Good mood = NiceGuy. Bad mood = DeadpanSnarker.

I wasn't aware that people's style of conversation can occasionally vary with the mood they are in. Thank you for that brilliant psychological insight.

Thank you @/SapphireFlame, I thought that I'm the only guy with split personality around here. Loonies of all countries, unite! Uh oh, I guess I am in the bad mood right now...

I do say that most {{troper}}s (and people in {{real life}}) attempting to be this indulge heavily on the snark but forget to add the deadpan.

Few months ago, I considered OP's remark as a fucking bullshit...but now that I'm trying to be an author, couldn't have been truer.

{{This troper}} will snark at just about anything on TV.

Joel/Mike? Is that you?

If it is, I want in on your MST group. No really. I want in.

This troper's family is composed ''entirely'' of {{deadpan snarker}}s, each and every one of us. The holidays are an absolute riot :D

I'm sure they are.

Same with this troper's (immediate) family. It's not Thanksgiving if one of the cousin-in-laws isn't trying not to laugh/cry at the same time.

This troper's family is the opposite: she gets people shouting her down whenever she says something which could vaguely be construed as negative.

When I actually try to be sarcastic, it kind of fails. I just recently realized that I don't need to try, I already am.

{{This troper}} is definitely the DeadpanSnarker among her friends, though her male best friend is also one. The two of us are not allowed to sit near anyone else at movies, due to our constant mockery of the {{film}} being shown.

@/CoyoticEvil thought you were that female friend (wrongly), so you're not alone.

This troper's favorite showing is the first matinee. Snark as loud as you want; there's no one else there.

{{This troper}} always gets designated the end seat when seeing a movie with friends because of this. Although the snarkiness is not limited to movies.

Same.

Your friends are doing it wrong. The Snarker is supposed to sit in the ''middle'', that all may hear and partake in her wit. Guess where {{this troper}} sits during movies??

The front row?

@/SeanTucker. I snark whenever I get a chance to.

And thus you prove your lack of self control.

I bet you know '''''ALL''''' about lack of self-control, don't you, dearie?

My brother, cousin, and I will often mock kids shows, like our own little MST3K. Also, I will say laughtrack after every bad joke my mother makes, which seems to be all of them.

{{Overly long gag}}s will cross the line thrice.

This troper's boyfriend of several months will sometimes introduce himself like she wouldn't remember who he is when answering the phone. Sometimes it takes her a second to realize that he's joking... and that she does know him. She's not incredibly gullible; he's just that good.

{{This troper}} is no longer allowed to talk during Dorm meetings because she finds it's too easy to make anyone who says something stupid regret it.

Funny. It seems like you don't regret it.

This troper's mother calls her Doomsday. Her reaction on first hearing this? "Whoa... my snark level has risen to the point that '''''it can kill {{Superman}}'''''!"

That just makes you a nerd.

Oh, would you shut UP already?!

That's a bad thing? I hadn't noticed...

{{This troper}} also turned into this after spending on enough time on this site, sadly his friends misinterpret it so often that "it's called sarcasm" is rapidly turning into his {{catchphrase}}.

Clearly you're doing it right if you have to explain it.

This troper's brother was playing Air Soft at a family friends house (in the middle of hick country) when a man on a tractor rode up to him and asked if the owner of the property knew he was there. My brother's response, sounding completely serious: "I would hope so, he's shooting at me."

@/SharmHedgehog is definitely a DeadpanSnarker. When a friend talked about how he wanted to marry someone in school, I promptly said, "Don't worry. When you're rejected and you come back crying, we'll take you to the nearest Waffle House." I also can't help but riff certain parts of movies he sees. Yes, I know I am a ThirdPersonPerson. Got something against that? (See? I made another snark! Ha!)

I'm a tech support schmoe. Do the math. I'm still waiting for an invention that will send small electrical shocks over the phone.

That's BOFH not {{deadpan snarker}}. Nice try though. Goodbye.

@/{{Jonn}} speaks fairly normally unless angry and irritated, at which point he waxes downright {{Shakespeare}}an. This rather confuses his mother, who happens to be a former English teacher; she frequently has trouble telling whether he's serious or joking. About ''anything''. #QUOTE#'''Jonn''': I tell you once, I tell you twice, I tell you once again...

He's actually been trying to hold it in when dealing with a particular coworker who's a dick, because he figures fighting fire with fire just makes everything burn. It doesn't always work; one recent exchange involved said coworker berated him condescendingly about not checking a minor fact that coworker had advised him about once or twice, over Jonn's protests that he ''was'' checking said fact. #QUOTE#'''Jonn''': You will let nothing derail your dick train, will you?

I really like the word "dick train". I think I'll use it more now.

{{This troper}} comes from an entire family of {{Deadpan Snarker}}s, as well as being one himself. It's especially interesting that the snark is all for different reasons, and in different styles.

{{This troper}} has the snark, but lacks the deadpan. He's an ''Animated Snarker.''

I'm another Animated Snarker, at least in person. Online, since there's very little intonation in text, I come across as more deadpan.

My level of animation varies depending on my mood and energy. When I'm in a good mood I'm a completely DeadpanSnarker; when I'm tired I become an UncontrollablySneeringSnarker. At four in the morning I'll just start coming out with complete non sequiturs in a bitingly sarcastic tone, for no apparent reason.

{{This troper}} is the resident brutally honest, animated snarker of most social environments, to the point that people are thanking him for his comments brightening their day (though he's often only deadpan when tired/depressed). It's so ingrained and noticeable that when once at a large (8-9 people) dinner gathering of friends and friends of friends, {{this troper}} was accidentally seated beside the OTHER {{deadpan snarker}} of this larger social network. The two of us were stepping over each other's opportunities to snark, leading to us canceling each other's humor out. It was agreed to always sit at opposite ends of seating arrangements from then on.

Have you seen the MagnificentBastard TroperTales page recently? I suspect that you and the people who post themselves on there would get on brilliantly.

{{This troper}} has that position in her own family and group of friends, but is easily out-snarked by her boyfriend or any given member of his family.

This is because your family is clearly a pack of deranged baboons.

What a way with words you have.

You're not exactly on the highest rungs of the evolutionary ladder, are you, dearie?

She's well above you.

You're all stupid tbh

Me and my friends snark on many occasions. I often like do a bit of MST3K when watching any movie as well.

I, being yet another DeadpanSnarker {{Troper}}, am beginning to wonder if there are any {{troper}}s that ''aren't'' {{deadpan snarker}}s. (On another note, snark runs in my family. On both sides.)

Claiming to be a {{deadpan snarker}} {{troper}} makes you automatically good at it, doesn't it?

Oddly enough, being a highly-pessimistic loner doesn't make your a sarcasm machine. I mean that sincerely. However, there was a classmate who went from Token Emo, to {{Jerkass}}, to DeadpanSnarker.

This troper's friend is part this and part {{Tsundere}}.

You're THAT desperate for friends?

Has the above {{troper}} ever heard of psychological projection? They might find it quite interesting.

{{This troper}} is. He also has a bad right leg, so that he needs a cane to walk, and also wants to be a doctor(seriously). He also frequently gets in arguments with anti-evolutionists, anti-abortionists, and similar people. He often "loses", but that's because the people he happens to argue with aren't very good at it, and so end up telling him to shut up, usually right after he's proven them wrong. Case in point? #QUOTE#Alice: I hate the Golden Compass. It's about killing {{God}}! #QUOTE#{{This troper}}: Well, it's just a stupid book. Then again, so is {{the Bible}}. #QUOTE#'''OR''' #QUOTE#Alice: Wicca are older than Christianity! #QUOTE#{{This troper}}: No, it was made up by some old guy in the fifties. (For the record, it was. I do my fucking research, just like "Alice" claims she did.)

Now, see, you've got it wrong. You ''aren't'' an example of a DeadpanSnarker. You're smack dab in Jerk Ass City. You're ''going out of your way'' to make mean remarks that's not the least bit sarcastic (and throwing a TakeThat at someone's religious beliefs isn't the same as arguing with anti-evolutionists or anti-abortionists, anyway). Take heart, though! Being a JerkAss gives ''real'' Deadpan Snarkers a chance to show you how it's done, like the guys at Something Awful who quoted your first example and commented with this: ''"Oh, my. If I'd been 'Alice' I just would've withered up and died after facing such a display of genius."''

Implying that those goons aren't Jerkasses themselves.

Technically the roots of Wicca are already over 100 years old, though still a far cry from the claims. And yeah, {{this troper}} has a lot in common with the one above. Pretty much every time he encounters a person massively sure of themselves he'll proceed to poke holes in their beliefs, no matter how much he may agree with them himself, or what those beliefs might actually be. It's my life's philosophy to be uncertain about everything - nothing should be taken for an absolute fact.

{{This troper}} and his family are all {{deadpan snarker}}s to some extent.

Unique and descriptive example, valuable addition to page 5/5

Snarking about snark. How amazingly original.

{{This troper}} carries on a proud family tradition. Get him and his parents watching a {{film}} (or for that matter a football match or even the ''news'') and you'll see.

Alright, where do ya live?

{{This troper}} waffles between deadpan snark and "LOLRANDOM" humor, as it suits his mood. His friends often agitate him specifically to draw out twenty minutes of snark for entertainment, especially on road trips.

That's not {{deadpan snarker}}. That's {{cloudcuckoolander}}.

@/{{Dark}}'s snarkitude varies depending on which group of friends/family he's with. Most of his college friends are sarcastic as well, so he tends to fit in. Among his friends who go to another college, he's the obvious snarker of the group. Among his high school friends (the ones still IN high school), he's the unchallenged king of DeadpanSnarker. His family, however (including his dad and brother), are better than he is at snarkerism, so he tends to have it toned down when around relatives, mostly due to snark overload. Be that as it may, he still makes the funniest and most pointed comments when watching movies.

@/JillBug seems to be an unwitting example: people complain about her being sarcastic even when she wasn't trying to be. Her sister is a deliberate DeadpanSnarker (and an excellent one at that); together they have driven their mother to distraction many times over the years.

Subverted with this troper's friend. At first glance, you might think she's a DeadpanSnarker. But then it turns out she's just a (self-admitted) *** .

Hi there Ladies and Gentlemen! ''Welcome'' to my week.

@/{{Mac}} has been banned from answering the phones and using the PA system at work for this exact reason.

Huh? Me, a DeadpanSnarker? Surely you jest...

{{This troper}} was watching a presentation in English class in high school and went "Do you want some ham on your wry?" in a low voice, only to realize afterwards when half the class looked like they were going to laugh and the other half wanted to strangle said {{troper}} that he realized that said that during a sudden pause in said presentation.

This troper's snarkiness is reaching Max levels. It doesn't help his family and friends are all snarkers. Combine, with his discovering TVTropes and you now have a certified Weapon Of Mass Snark.

I'm so *** funny, aren't I?

{{This troper}} seems to be growing in her snarkitude. She thinks her King of Deadpan Snark chemistry teacher is to blame.

{{This troper}} is an optimist at heart, but loves playing the DeadpanSnarker because it is so fun. Being an everyday contributor and reader of tvtropes.org doesn't help things either.

Finally! Someone who admits that they're only putting on a mask!

Or they're just being sarcastic.

@/{{Emz}} is definitely the {{deadpan snarker}} in her group of friends. It's gotten to the point where when they say something stupid, they just look at her and say "Not. A. Word." Her entire family is the same way, though they each have their own...unique flavor. Oh, and her English teacher calls her {{Daria}} sometimes.

I'm a cynical {{deadpan snarker}} but I try to cut back around my family etc. Here's the unnecessary quote: #QUOTE#Friend: Seriously, it was a brilliant {{film}}. #QUOTE#Me: 'Brilliant'... ''shit''... It's a thin line.

@/{{gorgardard}}'s little brother is the type of DeadpanSnarker who doesn't actually make sincere statements anymore - some of us believe he is actually incapable of genuine sincerity.

A {{deadpan snarker}} is perfectly sincere, except when he's not.

{{This troper}} likes to engage in the quieter or sillier kinds of snarkery.

Then it's not deadpan.

Care to point us to the 'Undeadpan Snarker' page?

Zombie snarker? Now I'm really scared.

{{This troper}} combines the DeadpanSnarker with the Cloudcukoolander in an incredibly dangerous and hysterical way. A personal favorite is whenever someone says "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will never hurt me," just hit them with a dictionary. Did this in American Lit class, wound up one of the most popular kids in the class for the rest of the year.

This troper's French teacher is one of these. Given that she's teaching a class of blabbermouths, this side of her tends to show up a lot.

@/{{Gerusz}}'s "Snark mode" switch is stuck at ON. And turned UpToEleven. When he is [=IMing=] with his friends, he has to explicitly declare when he is ''not'' sarcastic. It doesn't help that his other specialty is DeadBabyComedy. Since his first name is (equivalent to) Gregory, it's quite obvious how his friends sometimes call him. Luckily, his friends tolerate it well.

Ah, my evil twin surfaces at last.

I make a fair few deadpan comments, often without care of the seriousness or context of a discussion. When a friend saved me from falling off a cliff, my response "Well, the was a bit sh*t." I did however thank him later.

Two thirds of this troper's history class. {{God}}, I love that class.

This Troper's snarking mechanism works at full capacity when she is exchanging quips with her best friend, who plays this trope straight all the time.

Half of this Tropette's class was watching a pre-recorded news cast on fast forward, all snarking and whining about the anchorpeople. It was... Surreal, to say the least.

{{This troper}} is snarky to the point of being yelled at by my mum a lot, not that I care.

When @/SapphireFlame is in a bad mood, he becomes this without meaning to. In fact, this is my favorite character type since they get to say the things that I would like to be able to say but would get in trouble for saying so.

{{This troper}} has recently been taken up being a DeadpanSnarker. Not very good at it yet, but practice makes perfect.

No amount of practice could make up for that optimism.

This editor has been acknowledged (or perhaps called out) on their power of snark on multiple occasions. The editor's crowning moment of snark (so far) came during their first semester of college. The Board of Trustees were meeting in a few days to decide basically whether they were going to close the college or not. Naturally, the campus community was very concerned about this, and many of us were putting a lot of energy into efforts to keep the college open. At one meeting of the community this editor's psychology professors gave a short speech, saying basically that while we (the students) were doing good work trying to save the community, we shouldn't let that totally consume us; that we should save some time and energy for the other things we needed to do to take care of ourselves and continue our lives and--at around this point, this editor called out "Don't worry, we'll come to class."

@/JethroQWalrustitty's English teacher. Favourite topics include complaining about the univerrsity, complaining about Finland, complaining about students, complaining about America, complaining about the French, conspiracy theories. Also, TT personally thinks that calling oneself a DeadpanSnarker would be awfually narcisistic, and 'titles' such as this should only be awarded by other people in social interaction, which, undoubtedly, many here don't have much of.

It's only narcissistic if you subscribe to the opinion that it is necessarily a good thing to be. Otherwise, if you are a person who is prone to being both deadpan and snarky, it's just descriptive.

@/{{Gecko}}'s geometry teacher, normally just to two or three particular students, but any member of the class is a possible target. It's rather amusing, though.

{{This troper}} is actually considering having cards printed reading "ThisTroper. Card-Carrying DeadpanSnarker".

If you have to tell people...

You must really suck at it if you need to tell people.

{{This troper}} is a bit of a Tsundere, alternating between CloudCuckooLander and DeadpanSnarker. In both cases he enjoys racist humor a little more than normal, and retains qualities of both in either mode.

Because racist humour is {{deadpan snarker}}y rather than, say, racist humour.

Bragging about something automatically makes it true.

I wouldn't really consider myself a DeadpanSnarker, just someone who sometimes have those moments. Such as the time when my Pre-Calc teacher handed back our tests and asked if I had any complaints, I replied, "Well, if you really want me to. My feet hurt, I'm tired, it's cold outside, I have an essay to write..."

{{This troper}} used to think that he was only sarcastic when the situation called for it. When he (jokingly, as he is an atheist) decided to give up sarcasm for lent, he was met with shock and disbelief.

Normally, {{this troper}} is very kind, idealistic/optimistic, and polite (so much so that people find it strange). However, she has an inner DeadpanSnarker side that comes out when she's annoyed or around others with a similar sense of humor and is, apparently, funnier than her normal sense of humor. In an interesting inversion of certain aspects of the {{trope}}, she only really lets this part of her show to people she's comfortable with.

From the {{troper}} responsible for adding snarky comments after many people's declaration of snark: I feel like this has been a dethroning moment of mediocracy. I feel like the skinniest guy in fatcamp.

That's supposed to be a good thing.

When you're the skinniest guy in fatcamp you're still in fatcamp. Hence mediocrity.

You shouldn't even be in Fat Camp. You want Obsessive Compulsive Disorder camp. Next exit.

{{This troper}} usually keeps his snarking to himself. Unfortunately, when annoyed or aggravated he loses self-control and goes into snarkiness overdrive. I have gotten into a lot of trouble this way.

{{This troper}}, strangely, acts like more of a DeadpanSnarker around friends than strangers.

{{This troper}} is a full blown {{deadpan snarker}} when it comes to just people in general. Between seeing the stupid decisions made by family, people's behavior in public, and how gaming "fans" act, my motto is "people are idiots and lack common sense and logic until proven otherwise".

Yeah, because stating the obvious certainly qualifies.

Actually, I think most people think that stating the obvious DOESN'T qualify...oh wait! I get it! By saying it DOES qualify, you're actually implying that it DOESN'T! You communicated a message that is the opposite of your literal statement! Why hasn't anybody else ever thought to do this? You are clearly some sort of wizard of wit, you MUST share your secret with the world!

That was too long.

My mother is one. And she keeps telling me I need to stop being so damn sarcastic all the time because I might offend someone. My usual reply is that it is not politically incorrect to make fun of the stupid, since they are not a minority.

{{This troper}} tries to be cheerful and happy like his other classmates and is in fact quite convinced that RousseauWasRight. But when he argues his case he snarks at Rousseau for saying the world sucks (like he has any reason to, the rich bastard) it kinda lapses into snarking. High expectations on life that are rarely fulfilled (a positive streak once more, twisted to the Snark) combined with fondness for sarcasm does not help the case.

{{This troper}} is not one, but knows one in her school. He's also TheHyena and TheScrappy. Hmm.

{{This troper}} is most definitely a {{deadpan snarker}}. However, in a slight subversion, she is normally optimistic and cheerful, which makes it even more of a shock when someone says something to her and she shoots back cynical, sarcastic comments. The optimism is a failed act, really.

{{This troper}} seems to find fault with everything and everyone, constantly pointing out faults in his own mother. Not like I care though. People will get my respect when they earn it. I've also been asked whether or not I think about what I say before speaking in the middle of a class. My response: "Yeah, if I actually care."

I can't imagine why anybody wouldn't want your respect.

Especially when it's obviously just an idiot who thinks he's better than anyone else, but is really just a mediocre hack.

{{This troper}} is one at social events. When I get called on it, I just point out that they should stop giving me the ammo if they don't want me snarking.

{{This troper}} does this as a internal running commentary at her job. Unfortunately, she has a tic where she begins mouthing her thoughts, leading to some {{Cloudcuckoolander}} moments.

{{This troper}} is a LittleMissSnarker subversion. Subverted, because she is actually at an age where sarcasm is just fine, while looking like she's too young to be sarcastic.

{{This troper}} is a DeadpanSnarker to most his classmates at school mainly because a lot of them are idiots. A girl once tried to point this out but failed by saying it was because I was evil.

{{This troper}} is so deadpan that I can say the most outrageous things and then have to explain that I'm kidding. There was the faked flip-out when the lab computer wouldn't logout and I thought I was being a real ham. The teacher asked with concern if everything was all right.

{{This troper}} wasn't even aware she was a snarky until her friend said to her "You seem extra bitter today. Usually you're always making sarcastic comments about everything but today it seems like you actually mean them!"

@/ShadowPanther and his friends are snarky about just about everything. If it wasn't for the fact it was snark, you could easily brand us the most hate filled people in all of Christendom.

Now that's something to tell the grandkids one day.

This troper's mother used to be the Master of the art of Deadpan Snark, that it got difficult to tell wheter she was serious or sarcastic. She's gotten softer over the years, so much that my younger sister won't believe me when I tell her about the epic heights of snark my mother could go to. Although she does revert if we do something epically stupid. This might explain why I can drive the most deadpan of snarkers insane; I've had training since I was young, as you can tell by the number of white hairs on my mother's head. I still love her though.

Yeah, because anyone can see your mother's head from here.

{{This troper}} used to try and be the DeadpanSnarker, but people wouldn't get that she was using sarcasm and would give her weird looks and, for the times she snarked about leading a double life as a serial killer, sometimes start backing away. She would then have to explain that she was being sarcastic, often drawing the response "You didn't ''sound'' sarcastic..." These days, she is enough of a CloudCuckooLander that her friends are used to her completely false claims, snarky or not. Although when she is snarky now, it's not so much deadpan as enthusiastic and loud.

{{Eisenblume}} is not a pure {{deadpan snarker}}. He is very calm and likes to point out the stupidity in the plans and ideas brought to him and the unlikelyhood of plans succeeding. Then he goes ahead and does them anyway. Thus he calls himself an "optimistic realist" and everyone else calls him sarcastic. Which, you know, he kinda brought upon himself.

{{This troper}} can't resist the opportunity to engage in deadpan snark, to the point where he's been fired for doing it to the boss.

I know what you mean. My snarkiness got me killed once.

{{This troper}} is an odd mixture of The Quiet One and a spewer of unfunny puns IRL, but in the internet or in her mind, she loves to snark a LOT. If she's snarking in the internet, most of the time she's snarking at her own posts. Sometimes she snarks out loud without knowing, or at least that's what others say to her.

At a dinner once, this troper's brother was describing a bike that his friend from college owned. The brother was describing the very low quality bike, noting poor steering and the fact that it was to small and too close to the ground. This troper's response was to ask if it had ribbons on the handlebars. {{This troper}} usually snarks like this quite a bit, with a varying degree of success.

Subverted by {{this troper}}. She is a snarker but not completely deadpan; about a quarter of the time when she snarks, she turns away or hides her face or just walks away with a ridiculous grin on her face from the satisfaction of making such a witty remark. However, this troper's friends have begun to attempt this, only to fail because they don't find the right words (to add the zing) fast enough. Plus the grins on their faces are blatantly visible.

{{This troper}} had his moments. A memorable one was in high school after a teacher complained about his classmate, who seemed more interested in picking up girls from each classroom than graduating. #QUOTE#'''Teacher:''' ''... Sometimes I wonder why you even come here every morning.'' #QUOTE#'''{{This troper}}:''' ''Probably 'cause he thought the whorehouse was too expensive...'' *Cue laughing all around*

{{This troper}} has been stuck playing TheCaretaker and TheDutifulSon to an increasingly sick and infirm mother and an autistic sister (and not the RainMan kind either, the completely nonfunctional and incoherent kind!). Along with videogames and general nerdiness, he's found that excessive snarkasm is probably one of the few effective defense mechanisms against total ax craziness, or at least, just plain old craziness.

So snarkiness is an unquestionable sign of sanity? Good to know.

@/{{INUH}} wrote all three of his essays on a standardized test in this style. He got the highest possible score. Apparently, people who have to read and grade variations on the same boring essay for hours on end appreciate humor.

{{This troper}} considers her Crowning Moment of Snark to be when her mother was complaining about not wanting to go to a funeral, to which she (the {{troper}}) responded 'Yes, they are dreary affairs.' With a completely straight face.

Another one, on contemplating a dinner party involving her high-ranking HSBC employee of an uncle, and two merchant banker friends: "Well, won't that be a jolly mix of capitalism."

@/{{Bulbaquil}} not only is a DeadpanSnarker himself, but so are many of the people he talks to on a regular basis. This often results in recursive snarkiness.

No, that last statement wasn't redundant at all. Honest.

Both @/{{Wretchkin}}'s parents, which caused me, my brother and three sisters becoming this as we grew up. Most conversations consist of us trying to out-snark each other.

{{This troper}} is part Cuckoo Lander, Cynic, and likes to take {{Refuge in Audacity}}. Most of my ideas, jokes, or snarky replies to jokes tend to be done in such a deadpan tone (straight face included), everyone can't tell whether or not I'm being serious, considering the fact most if not all my friends have ever seen me in a constant serious mood.

This also actually helps to add an "{{Oh crap}} he actually means it this time." effect when I actually am serious. Needless to say, I think people like the crazy personality more.

{{This troper}} is pretty much this when she's not being a CloudCuckooLander. In fact, she rarely speaks now in Spanish class since the teacher and students all signed a contract and one of the items was no sarcasm. Guess who no one in my family like to watch a movie with? TT. Guess which movie is TT's favorite? Rocky Horror. Guess who has to keep her mouth firmly shut when her little nine-year-old sister was telling her about her vampire-zombie story that somehow involved dragons and faries? Yeah.

I think I'm beginning to become one. Being ignored by my classmates may be helping that along.

@/{{Igordebraga}} often goes into this. And a classmate of his is even worse. Great exchange between us two: #QUOTE#Me: When people talk to you they have to wear protection goggles so you don't spit poison in their faces? #QUOTE#Him: You speak spitting saliva on people! Why can't I spit some poison?

ThisTroper knows a few people who try very hard to be {{Deadpan Snarker}}s, as that makes them feel as attractive and witty as House, MD. Sadly, they all seem to be posting on this page now.

{{This troper}} is an unabashed DeadpanSnarker. He was well known for this in high school, to the point where a number of his quotes underwent MemeticMutation. Examples: #QUOTE#Me: (A friend is watching a football game on his laptop during English class) Great essay. #QUOTE#Me: (A friend makes a comment about always wearing condoms when he has sex) You don't need a condom to masturbate. #QUOTE#Me: (Will was a conservative nutjob. He was out that day, and Lauren started saying conservative things in Political Science) Oh my {{God}}! Lauren's possessed by Will!

{{This troper}} did it so much that, by the end of the year, several of his friends, plus his girlfriend, were all starting to imitate him. New recruits for {{the Dark Side}}.

{{This troper}}, not like you'd believe him.

I doubt I'm a snarker, though I may be, but does this example count? I work as a cleaner at a movie theatre, and when there were no customers, my manager told me to say thank you to the customers as they were leaving the theatre. I responded with, "Thank you for leaving a huge mess for us to clean up." Though not to a customer...

I am the type of person who has become so cynical that he has become religious and humanist because of it. I know that the world sucks and a lot of people are going to ridicule me for my beleifs and that, yes, the majority of humanity at any given time is not worth trying to help. But it's still worth trying to make someone's day better. So I try to make everyone's day better, usually through copious amounts of attempts at humor. On bad days when I don't give a damn about anything, I'm ussually a deadpan snarker.

One time, in music class, the teacher was out of the room. A bully started dissing me in every way possible, while I just sat there with a bored look on my face. When the bully stopped, I said "Are you finished?" He said "No, you * ^%&$!" and started again. I continued to sit there, reading a book. When he stopped, I said "Hello to you, too." Without looking up from the book.

I think you're my hero.

{{This troper}} has his witty moments, though according to a friend he made over the summer (said friend lives in Florida) I can be funny one day and horrible the next.

Same here for {{this troper}} with one guy I know not understanding what I'm doing and even recently commented on a Facebook status asking why I "must respond to any joke with hostile sarcasm". When the day before he commented that my sense of humour matches Chandler from Friends (specifically my sarcasm).

Like most {{troper}}s, {{this troper}} isn't usually funny or witty when she snarks at others in a deadpan manner. Or when she snarks at others in an animated manner. She just does it because she doesn't know how else to effectively express her frustration/mild amusement at what someone has said or done. Among her group of friends, it's just her thing.

I am known as a source of dry sarcasm and snarkery among my friends. I try to keep most of it to myself, to avoid veering into what's probably considered JerkAss territory, but sometimes an opportunity is just too good to pass up. Par example:

TheLibby(one of them):* looking at APUSH assignment related to William Lloyd Garrison's writing* So wait...did he REALLY WRITE THIS?was a primary source document, so yes, he did write it

Me: ...NO...he didn't write this...[in the DeadpanSnarker tone of voice]

then again, Libbies are AcceptableTargets at my school...

@/{{X2X}} is a NiceGuy by default. Unfortunately, if my buttons are pressed (or if I'm SurroundedByIdiots), I tend to jump to the other end of the spectrum, complete with {{facepalm}}ing and the repeated use of "Sounds like a personal problem to me". My snarkiness and sarcastic remarks aren't taken to JerkAss levels (there, it's borderline JerkWithAHeartOfGold), but it's really something that people around me should try to avoid setting off.

@/{{ABadDriver}} often winds up in this territory if not turning into an outright {{Jerkass}}. Of course...this counts for the entirety of my family.

I found this to be one of the best examples of DeadpanSnarker on the whole wiki. #QUOTE# "Apparently, the reason why Bioware did not put an M/M option into the relationship system is because there were, at the time, no gay men on the development team whom they could gather research! Luckily, one of the sound engineers happened to be a monogendered alien."

I'm honored to say that every {{troper}} on this page is a joke looking constantly for a punchline.

And now you are one of them. Lucky you.

ITT: irony

@/{{Fishsicles}} is a DeadpanSnarker of the finest kind. The fact that it is doubled with SpockSpeak and a JerkassFacade has led to near-legendary remarks at parties.

This {{trope}} fits me to a tee. Who hasn't been a DeadpanSnarker at least once in their lifetime?

My father handed down the DeadpanSnarker gene to me. For example, when walking into the living room while he was watching a football game: #QUOTE# Me: Who's winning? #QUOTE# Dad: The team with the most points. #QUOTE# Me: Who's playing? #QUOTE# Dad: Two football teams. -> And this exchange between my wife and I: #QUOTE# My wife: What are you reading? #QUOTE# Me: A book. #QUOTE# My wife: What kind of book? #QUOTE# Me: The kind with words. #QUOTE# My wife: What's it about? #QUOTE# Me (flips to the last page): It's about 400 pages.

Some years back, this troper's brother was working at a local Best Buy. One day, he was carrying a cardboard box containing a desk out to a customer's car. The box was very large, but not very thick. #QUOTE# Customer: Will I have to put this [desk] together? #QUOTE# My brother: No, sir, just add water.

My Math and English teachers are actually this, leading to rather fun classes. This led to a CrowningMomentofFunny in math class, where one of the students asked if he could go to the bathroom. Teacher says no, and the student assumed she was joking and left anyways. After another kid's comment, teacher realizes that the student thought she was joking, and then decided to play a prank on him by pretending to send him to the principal's office. Much lulz ensued.

{{This troper}} is a strange example--she often behaves like a DeadpanSnarker, but also tends to switch into GenkiGirl mode at any given moment.

This troperette has a habit of sardonically commenting on various things happening in her classroom or the world if she doesn't have a book to keep her busy.

I've gotten to the point where people frequently mistake actual compliments I make as sarcasm.

{{This troper}} has been guilty of doing this for about all his life. I end up doing it a lot to my television.

{{This troper}} can't avoid it while talking to her (so-called) friends. Most of them admit her to be quite unpleasant when talking about soccer, politicians and t-shirts.

This troper's Biology teacher fits this like a glove. Sometimes he would unleash consecutive sarcastic comments on us and then laugh a really weird laugh (hA. HA. Ha.). That way you could never tell if he was being serious or sarcastic. His favorite phrases are: "Dipdong!", "Riddle me this, batchildren", and more that are escaping {{this troper}} right now. He always speaks in a deadpan tone that seems to vary, greatly, in volume.

Myself and my brother both have this kind of sense of humor. Except we actually remember the deadpan part, so nobody ever knows when we're kidding. You'd think the exception would be when we talk to each other, right? You'd think so...

ThisTroper doesn't consider herself a {{deadpan snarker}}, but like others above, she has her moments. Most of the time, just to get a snicker out of somebody, or to point out (in the cases of text) how something someone has just said, could totally be taken in a different way. Example of this was last night, when a friend showed her a piece of music. A couple of minutes in, said friend complained at her about another friend showing this Troper's friend a picture of a Walrus that... well... she didn't wanna see. ThisTroper told her that it was TMI. Brief awkward silence, and then: #QUOTE#'''Friend''': So, do you like it? #QUOTE#'''{{Troper}}''': What, the Walrus or the music?

Who ''isn't'' a snarker? We should really just delete this page.

I'm not. I'm just not quick-witted enough to be one.

Good. ThisWiki really needs less snark for the sake of snark.

{{This troper}} can't help but imagine {{the protagonist}} in each ''{{Pokemon}}'' game as a DeadpanSnarker with a generous dose of OnlySaneMan.

{{This troper}} is an odd case. He's usually a ShrinkingViolet, but takes a Level in Snark when angered.

ThisTroper knows several, the worst offender of this is called Louise.

Normally {{this troper}} ISN'T one. However that changes if someone goes all DeadpanSnarker when talking with me. The subject of said snark doesn't matter -- I reply in the same style and it quickly becomes an escalating competition of snark. Well, this, and the wish to riff movies I'm watching... but that's because of TVTropes

Some people love this aspect of my personality, but most ''desperately'' want me to stop.

I thought I was safe from this. Turns out I was wrong... crud.

To quote my father after I made one comment or two, 'You're a smartass little bitch, ain't ya?' ....To explain what lead up to the that, he had looked outside at the heavy downpour and announced it was wet outside, and I responded with 'No, really?' followed by him telling me to go get the bag of chips. I looked around, and asked what the crap he was talking about, to which he replied with 'They're up!' and pointing vaguely. After a couple minutes I finally facepalmed, glanced up and asked 'You want me to bring you the /ceiling/?'...I like to think I'm a {{deadpan snarker}}, but I'm definitely horrible at it. ^^; Also, people have learned to stop asking me where other people are, because my answer will always be 'I killed/ate them'.

This troper's former Law and Social Studies teacher is a {{deadpan snarker}}. On student was talking about a drink being "all natural", @/McKillop's answer, "how about some arsenic, it's all natural."

This tropette's boyfriend.

@/BertieDastard and his father qualify as this; his friend loves going round, 'cause when BD and his father get snarking at each other, it lasts a long time, and devolves into a lot of snarking.

{{This troper}} has an excellent example. A joke with his friends used to be that whenever the teacher asked where someone was, the answer was, invariably, that they were dead. I carried this on to another school, and during French class, the teacher asked where one of the other students was. I responded, in perfect French, that they were dead. She apparently didn't understand the sarcasm, and the shocked look on her face made my week.

{{This troper}} can keep a friend laughing for 45 minutes by pointing out inane stuff and adding a good dose of dry wit. Because, you know, getting someone to burst out laughing while their mouth is filled with spaghetti for 45 minutes non-stop is safe. Just to point out one thing to all the above {{troper}}s: Saying someone's dead when you're asked where they are is incredibly lame (by this troper's standards). If you're a real DeadpanSnarker, come up with something else, and if all else fails, there's always RefugeInAudacity where you can create a story involving aliens, mutated cows, and a malfunctioning IronMan suit.

I usually try to be polite about avoiding inanity, but if you ever tried to tell me that story I would have no choice but to straight up turn around and run.

Theatre people tend to be this, which is why {{this troper}} loves them so much.

I used to be a LittleMissSnarker when I was in 3rd-4th grade. Now, I've grown into a full fledged DeadpanSnarker. Actual conversation. #QUOTE# Kid Who Sits In Front Of Me In Science: You're so ugly. #QUOTE# Me: Ooh, I look like you? #QUOTE# KWSIFOMIS: No. I'm hot. #QUOTE# Me: (completely deadpan) Have you ever looked in a mirror? #QUOTE# KWSIFOMIS: Have ''you''? #QUOTE# Me: Yes. Just this morning, actually.

So using grade-school insults makes you a {{deadpan snarker}}.

Grade-school? That pithy remark would have left me in despair 'til university time.

Mira-chan often finds herself in a snarking competition with her teachers, just do drive the point home.

Me and my friends are all snarkers, though I'm the only deadpan one.

@/TenderLumpling is locked-in to SarcasmMode. A mild example would be anyone else describing a food I find completely revolting: "''Scrumptious''." Or, for a better example: A few months ago, my brother said he could never take his shirt off around his daughter since he as a tattoo that says "BULLSHIT AIN'T NOTHIN'". When he asked how he was going to answer the inevitable "What's 'bullshit'?" question, I said, "Ninety-five percent of everything Daddy says." My brother actually thought it was hilarious; not surprising, though, since snark is my family's defining trait.

Yes, I am sure you are all {{Deadpan Snarker}}s. Just like all of you are {{Brilliant but Lazy}}.

I became like this in high school because my transfer school was full of douchebags, nearly every time I tried to make friends they'd turn me down so eventually I became the quiet kid who occasionally made snarky comments, I still have some traces of this today.

{{This troper}} is often this in regards to her mother, who usually either ignores her or just isn't listening.

{{This troper}} is a Silly-Grinning Snarker. She says things like "That makes complete sense" with a sweet smile when her friends speak nonsense, and uses "How lovely" to describe basically everything she hates. Unfortunately, her silly grin makes people think she's in SincerityMode when she's not.

{{This troper}} tends to point out anything negative, so at least some of those comments are ought to turn out snarky, but I wouldn't give myself the credit of being a real {{deadpan snarker}}. A far better example is my best friend. As me and the other girls from our class have put it after a long discussion, she really isn't doing it on purpose, somehow her brain can generate a sarcastic remark on anything much faster than it can decide whether it's a good idea to say it in the current situation. The fact that she's the best student in the school helps, she gets away with much more than a normal person would. Also, she never, ever changes her facial expression. {{This troper}} saw her falling down in PE and her ankle was twisted visibly, but she still looked so deadpan that the teacher couldn't tell at once that something was wrong, until the girl told her herself, in a rather {{jerkass}}-like way. Then she couldn't walk for a month.

{{This troper}} isn't a real snarker, just a person very prone of {{verbal tic}}s that change every once in a while. For a few months her style of talking involved a lot of sarcasm and sounding bored. As for the deadpan part, this troper didn't even notice until enough people pointed this out. {{This troper}} feels dumb right now, because she never actually noticed that her facial expression doesn't change according to her emotions like it does with all the other people. She's working on it right now, but keeps forgetting to smile, which sounds kind of creepy when written like this.

ThisTroper is a {{deadpan snarker}} so much so that no one ever really knows when he is joking or not (a stealth snarker one may say) one night, though drunk he did his best one yet that his mates actually understood; a mate was telling a story about how he had a run in with a cop some earlier time and along with it he was raising out his arms in the most animated of extremes when he said. #QUOTE#Mate; "I have no idea why I'm moving around like this." #QUOTE#Me; "Trying to scare away bears, apparently." Que laughter from the rest of my friends.

Everyone in this troper's family has their moments, but honestly, she thinks that her dad easily takes the crown of snarkiness. He just has this ability to make almost anything he says entertaining, even when it's about very technical computer stuff. Any surprise that {{this troper}} aspires to be like him? (Then again, he's almost sixty. He's most likely had years of practice.)

I've actually had short conversations made entirely of snark with a friend of mine. #QUOTE#Me: ...so then my roommate moved out during the second semester, so I kinda let the room go to crap...trash and dust everywhere. #QUOTE#Friend: Congratulations. #QUOTE#Me: It was quite an achievement. My parents were so pleased with me. #QUOTE#Friend: I bet they were.

This Troper is one ''par excellence'', only showing animation in the form of a smirk at the reaction of his victims. I actually scored a magnificent one on my own mother earlier in the week. #QUOTE#Mom: Your sister's actually very athletic. But she's getting really girly and not wantin' to do nothin'. #QUOTE#Me: So... you're saying laziness is a feminine trait.

This troper gets it from his mother, sarcasm and often does it in online conversations.[/sarcasm]

{{This troper}} is quite the snarker, so much that he could fit right in ''PrideAndPrejudice''. While watching TheMovie, I said stuff like "they have five daughters... but only two have personalities". Needless to say, everybody wants me to help riff

This troper is a {{Deadpan Snarker}}...NOT!! :) I'm quite amicable, kind, and cheerful and not afraid to admit it. Strangely enough, people say that he has his moments of snarkery. ^_^

I'm actually quite surprised to find you here.

Yeah. :) Played straight, however, with his grandmother.

{{This troper}} is a {{deadpan snarker}}, for sure, but her friend, "M" is by far the greatest {{deadpan snarker}} she has ever known. Probably one of the wittiest people there are.

This troper's recently been called out for being one of these. And she HATES it. It's driving everyone away.

My entire family at some point or another, but mostly my mother and myself are guilty of it. Of course, I'm guilty of it in {{jerkass}} proportions.

Tropers.Market43Fan, but moreso his sister.

{{This troper}} tries to control her snark and fails miserably at it. Once at her school, she snarked back so badly at the class JerkAss that a guy two rows to the side turned to look at her with a horrified face.

There's a {{jerkass}} at my school whose favorite hobby is bullying me and my friends. At least, it used to be. He stopped after losing many snark wars to me. And I probably got it from my dad, which results in many arguments. There simply can't be two snarkers in the same home, it seems.

{{This troper}} and her dad have their moments, but her cousin even more so. He almost borders on SilentSnarker- some people may be surprised to find out that he actually knows how to talk. Most of what comes out of his mouth when he does is witty sarcasm.

No matter how many times I try to be this, I fail. However, I have mastered a way of belittling people's intelligence via this. Example: Friend: I'm alive! (This is after surviving a whole shooting phrase in 40k) Me: Great. Me too.

I'm sure the ability to pull out stock one-liners makes you all witty and smart people.

Touché, friend.

Yes. I bet they think they're regular Einsteins.

Judging by your comments on this page, my friend, the definition of the word irony needs to have a word with you.

What can I say? Over 18 years of loving {{deadpan snarker}}s such as Eric Forman, {{Batman}}, SpyroTheDragon, Hamm, Salem, Stan and Kyle, and the like has affected my overall sense of humor. And the people who know me are well aware of the fact. Hell, even the people who don't know me very well. Just ask my dentist.

In one of my classes the teacher said about a time a dentist drilled into his sinus cavity and his head swelled up. Without missing a beat a woman across the room asked "when do you think the swelling will go down?". The teacher, being a pretty good snarker himself, countered with "the doctor said it's stuck this way".

This troper was this for quite a while in elementary and middle school. Sadly, she has found it fails when one's audience DoesNotUnderstandSarcasm or subtlety. On the other hand, she's in GATE and they were ''ten'', so this is permissible. She now perpetually worries people won't understand, and fits the whole trying not to be a snarker thing mentioned above to a tee. What's worse is that she's been out of practice for so long that when she slips back into it, ''they suck''. This has been a rant by Red Wren.

I'm definetely one, and has been one for years. I remember my snarkiness starting in Year 1, when I asked a teacher something, she said 'Good question, Neil'. I replied, 'Yes, it was, wasn't it'. It basically secured my reputation as one of the funniest people in the year.

I can't tell if you're trying to parody the other posts on this page not, which is a bad sign for you either way.

This tropers WHOLE. FAMILY. It gets annoying sometimes when I'm beaten at my own game... (WHEN I am)

What does Pastylover2 want for dinner. Food.

My brother loves this trope, and takes a rather obscene amount of pleasure from catching me when I say stupid things; to be fair, though, I'm usually asking for it. My favorite comes from last year, while I was watching him play one of the VideoGame/PaperMario games. #QUOTE# Troper: Don't you hate it when random lumps blink at you? #QUOTE# ({{Beat}}) #QUOTE# Brother: (AsideGlance) That can just ruin my whole day.

This troper's history teacher is the embodyment of this trope. #QUOTE#student: What's "The Inquisition?" #QUOTE# Ms. Vance: Well, 'the' is an article... #QUOTE#student: Hey, Miss Vance, do you know what the Inquirer is? #QUOTE# Ms. Vance: You, apparently.

This teacher sounds awesome.

This troper's 15 year old younger brother exemplifies this trope. He is an outgoing, typical teenage boy, and yet his preferred type of humor comes in the form of sarcastic one-liners made with a straight face. Since both my mom and myself are fairly sarcastic people, it kind of runs in the family. Still, my brother takes it to the next level. Can be pretty annoying in real life, though.

This troper has actually made a teacher leave the classroom (likely to laugh) while invoking this trope. View:

Teacher: So what is Shakespeare trying to say in this sonnet?

hmhp: He's saying "don't sacrifice our love".

Teacher: Actually, it's saying that the woman doesn't want his love.

hmhp: Well there you go. What would you rather sacrifice, a nice soft lamb or some gnarly old goat with three legs, one horn, half an eye and bad halitosis?

Teacher: (Pause. Throws down marker and storms out) I quit!

The following two conversations happened between this troper and a certain dumb blonde with a taste for expensive brand names hereby dubbed Vee: #QUOTE# '''Vee:''' Oh [Troper], that's a pretty necklace you're wearing! Where'd you get it? #QUOTE# '''Troper:''' (Not looking up from her reading) Walmart.

It was the honest truth. The deadpan tone mostly came from the fact this troper wasn't entirely paying attention to the world. But somehow it made the whole table at lunch crack up. #QUOTE# '''Vee:''' (Looks over to see Troper playing cards by herself) #QUOTE# '''Troper:''' (Flat look) It's ''Solitaire''.

Sadly, the above conversation happened at least once more after that.

This troper. Full stop. In fact, the best way to describe myself in terms of my sarcasm is just imagine the Comic Book Guy if he was lighter (somewhat), black, and female. And given my other traits, my sarcasm occasionally has some level of preachiness attached to it: ("just think about how many hungry children could have been saved with the money we spent on this garbage"). However, at the risk of annoying people, I do hold my snarking back at times (when I was watching ThePrincessAndTheFrog with my mom and my niece, when we first saw the bad guy in his first, brief scene, I just kept my snark ["gee, I wonder if this is the villain"] to myself).

There's this very quiet Asian boy in my class. One day, some kids were asking him wht his nationality was(Chinese) and then a girl butted in to the conversation. #QUOTE#'''Girl:''' Wait, you're Asian?! #QUOTE#'''Guy:'''(immediately) No, I'm black.\\ A lot of my friends are like this, actually. One of my favorite comebacks from my friend is this: #QUOTE#'''TheLibby:''' Screw you! #QUOTE# '''Friend:''' Sorry, I don't swing that way.

@/DJMarred is brilliant at the delicate, subtle, intricate art of snarkery. They were hanging out with some friends, and one of my friends had just thrashed another friend in Table Tennis: #QUOTE#'''Friend:''' Ha ha! Take that, you South African! #QUOTE#'''Me:''' I thought you married one. #QUOTE#'''The others:''' Ooooooo!

When we were hanging out again some other time: #QUOTE#'''Friend:''' Sorry he couldn't turn up. He was off getting his wisdom teeth removed. #QUOTE#'''Me:''' He must be foolish by now. And a third time: #QUOTE#'''Friend:''' Tell me your secret. #QUOTE#'''Me:''' I will... in a hundred years time. #QUOTE#'''Friend:''' But I'll probably be dead by then. #QUOTE#'''Me:''' That's the idea. #QUOTE#'''Friend:''' You bastard. #QUOTE#'''Me:''' I know.

This Troper thought she was good at this. Then she met her French professor, who is capable of saying absolutely anything with a straight face. His attempts to tell us about the culture of France often devolve into stunned silence followed by choked laughter. Highlights include telling us about the inferior quality of French cocaine, implying that if aliens wanted to conquer Earth they could just take away all of France's wine and bread and let the ensuing riot destroy us, and telling us that gay bars are more fun in the USA, all in a totally bored tone. He also taught us verbs with examples like 'I want a kilo of heroin is different from I wanted a kilo' and writing this up on the board. People who have no interest in the French language have transferred into the class purely to have fun... and it works. I've never been as close to decent at another language as I am now.

That said, he considers my lesser level of stoic snarkiness endearing, and has introduced this (female) Troper at least once to strangers as his 'beautiful gay son', which is about as close to a compliment as Professor Bob is capable of giving.

This Tropette is very good at WRITING deadpan snarkers (Anna, Delilah, Luna, Aurora, to name a few), but isn't that big of one herself. Unless you piss her off.

Wow, a "one time at school entry." That's original! Anyway, in English IV, my senior year, we read a poem about a portrait of a boy, or something, some man owned. It was a portrait of his late son, who passed on at a young age. After reading it, the teacher asked us, "What did his son get to experience in life?" Without missing a beat, in chimes This Troper; "Puberty?" Cue annoyed teacher and a classroom in stitches.

I'm known to do this around my father. Given he is an AdultChild , this happens alot. (minor example)

Me: Hey, dad, you not going to work today?

Dad: Yeah, I got the week off. So we can stay home and play checkers all day! :D

Me: Sounds like hours of fun.

I am this to a HUGE degree. And for some reason most of the teachers at my new school are entertain-able so I get away with a lot. It comes so naturally that I often can't even remember specific occasions. But I think my best was the time I answered a question with the phrase "When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much..." and it fit the question enough that everyone laughed. The sad part is I forget the lead-in line, making me wonder what the hell the teacher asked.

Just about everyone in {{this troper's family SoullessWarlock}}, but I am one to almost JerkAss degree.

I have my moments.

Girl: Shut up. You are just a fat idiot.

Me: At least my voice doesn't kill kittens.

Me: (a really fat girl jumps up and down like a little girl) Earthquake alert!

Yeah, the earthquake thing just makes you a bitch.

Indeed it was, but for chrissake, she's a hundred fourty pounds {{Gonk}} who thinks she's the cutest and funniest thing ever. Can't help it.

Me. Here's an example from my Maths class about a week ago: #QUOTE#''Friend'': BOOGIES!! #QUOTE#''Me'': This is the year 2010, not 2003, thefore Dick and Dom isn't funny anymore. ...and he's 14, not that you'd realize.

This troper cannot go a day without being snarky. Also, I'm Vietnamese but very tan, so people always seem to think I'm Filipino. My usual response to people finding out I'm Viet: #QUOTE# Person: Wait, you're Vietnamese?! #QUOTE# Me: No, I'm black.

This troper notices that there seem to tend to be some among professors at university. In high school I had some slightly snarky teachers, but their snarkiness was nothing compared to that of some of my professors. (I was surprised by that, because I expected people at a higher level of education to be more professional, which I expected would translate into a LOWER level of sarcasm.) Even among those professors, though, one stands out for snark; my first-semester English professor. #QUOTE#'''Prof''': So basically, Tamora is actively encouraging her sons to have their way with Lavinia. My, what a wonderful mother she is.

This troper is the resident snarker of his class, often switching between TheQuietOne and SarcasmMode, while retaining a soft, low, and deadpan voice. I am also GenreSavvy Ever since discovering this place back in 2007, I've always been one. Well, mostly in secret. But when they find out, my response will be: #QUOTE# Classmate: I didn't expect that! #QUOTE# Me: Yeah, 'cause that was SO not obvious.

I'm is well known for it at my school. When asked to define sarcasm one kid just pointed to me and said "90% of what comes out of that guy's mouth." The teacher just paused then said "Well I really can't argue with that."

This troper became a deadpan snarker at a very early age because of the influence of her sister. Unfortunately, she lost the charm by the time she became old enough for people to understand that she was being sarcastic and not in sincernity mode.

While I am normally this, I had a rather good moment today. Some kids in Grade 9 (the youngest age in our high school) were pounding their fists on a vending machine because their Skittles weren't coming out (that they probably didn't even pay for, mind you). After several people told them to stop, I said "pounding on the machine won't help you" in a not kind, but not condescending tone. Then they started to act tough (for no apparent reason) and said "Oh yeah? What do you know?" My response: "Okay then, you just stand there all day, pounding on the vending machine, looking like colossal dumbasses and pissing off all the seniors who could probably throw you out of the building with no effort, not to mention all the teachers who like to keep the school quiet this time of year (as it was during exams). I won't stop you." They immediately left.

This is what this troper is. An example of my snarkiness is when my mom got a call from my aunt a few days ago asking for a cure for hiccups. #QUOTE#'''Troper's Mom:'''(Troper's name), your aunt wants to know if you have a cure for the hiccups. #QUOTE#'''Troper:''' Just shut your mouth and the hiccups will go away. I tried it once and it works.

This troper comes from "Snark Stock," which is to say, his entire family is a gigantic bunch of snide bastards, and he's about the biggest culprit of all. Some fun exchanges between family members and I: #QUOTE#'''Uncle:''' Tell your dad I'll be bringing the high pressure washer over later. #QUOTE#'''Chris:''' What's that for? #QUOTE#'''Uncle:''' ...For washing things at ''high pressure?'' And of course, between my father and I when I was working at his family practice in place of a secretary that had called off: #QUOTE#'''Dad:''' ''*walks a patient out*'' Wow, Chris, you're sorta useful! #QUOTE#'''Other Secretary:''' Doctor, here are your charts for the evening. *points to a stack of at least fifteen charts, meaning fifteen patients* #QUOTE#'''Chris:''' Hey, you're sorta useful too, Dad!

Wow, now I see that everyone on TV Tropes has a dry, sarcastic wit based solely on stories about how they burned their friend this one time with absolutely no context.

You have made me smile.

My friend regularly asks if there is something on her face after lunch. I get annoyed by this. #QUOTE#'''Friend:''' Is therer something on my face? #QUOTE#'''Me (in perfect deadpan):''' Yes. It is what we call "skin". (nods disapprovingly)

This troper remembers a snarky moment from a family party. #QUOTE#'''Cousin (on phone with her friend):''' What's your emergency?! #QUOTE#'''Me (pretending to be her friend):''' I think I broke a nail.

While I can be this at times, a guy I work with fits this trope in spades. He's ''especially'' snarky on anything that has to do with Windows (he's a Linux guy) and anything ''not'' the Green Bay Packers (on a related note, never say anything bad about the Green Bay Packers around this guy).

Kyle, a friend of mine, is a humorous version of one which happens to gain his EnsembleDarkhorse status. Probably the most hilarious example is this: #QUOTE#'''Best Friend (to Kyle):''' Did you know we have lunch after this period? #QUOTE#'''Kyle (reading a book):''' (with a serious expression that quickly changes into a mockingly cheerful expression) Oh really!?!?!. (changes back to serious expression while glaring at my best friend).

This troper, full stop. Won't waste space with examples, but if you get to know me, it'll be evident.

me.

One of this troper's classmates. No one likes him except another boy, and even that boy can't stand him sometimes. To make it worse he often snarks in English, which many of my other classmates don't understand, at least not enough to understand what he means.

This Troper managed to pull this off in school today. #QUOTE#'''Guest Speaker:''' She has a soul, doesn't she? What about her soul? #QUOTE#'''Me:''' I don't have one. I'm a ginger.

Yeah...this page sound more like {{Jerk Ass}} then {{Deadpan Snarker}}.

This Troper managed one a few days ago. #QUOTE#'''Friend says something about Zeus and how he was flawed and stuff and how humans were modeled after him(I don't remember it exactly) #QUOTE#'''Me:''' That would explain a lot.

This happens with me sometimes, but half the time somebody talks before I can get my response out. But I CAN get in some gems. #QUOTE# Kid: What about them ninjas? Them ninjas is cool, look at that old lady ninja! #QUOTE# Me: *clearly watching Fullmetal Alchemist* What kind of idiot ARE you?

This Troper believes sarcasm to be the default mode of communication for her generation (i.e. The 90s kids). She was very much one, constantly sparring with her sharpest-of-tongue high school BFF, but has mellowed out since university (or so she hopes).

This troper's girlfriend once did something clever, and afterwards said "I'm using my smarts!" I replied "BOTH of them?!"

This troper is around 75% Deadpan Snarker and 25% Jerk with a Heart of Gold. I tend to make off-handed comments clearly intened to be snarky, but get taken for face-value. Such as this charm. #QUOTE# Club Supervisor: *Talking about a male-dominated job sector, and how there will be a presentation for girls wanting to get into this profession (Video Game Designer)* #QUOTE# Me (Deadpan): So its some sort of chick enpowerment thing?

This Troper is more or less a {{Silent Bob}} most of the time, but whenever I do talk, I tend to intiate full-on Snark mode.

This Troper is an Aspie and thus Deadpan Snarker is my hardwired default setting. I snark off whenever an opportunity presents itself no matter the situation or setting. One example was during a college level English Comp class. The lady professor refreshed us on the FANBOYS acronym, otherwise known as the conjunctions. Near the end of class she gave me a window that I couldn't pass up: #QUOTE# Professor: What are FANBOYS used for? #QUOTE# Me: Target practice!

This Troper does this so damn much that his family can only tell the difference between him being serious or if he's actually snark-mode 95% of the time.

This troper does this sometimes. He often forgets to use SarcasmMode when doing it on the net, causing hilarity to ensue.

Occurred when my teacher was trying to convince me not to hate chorus. Keep in mind I was in chorus and very, very badly wanted out. #QUOTE#'''Teacher:''' Oh, come on, [Troper]! Let your inner canary sing! #QUOTE#'''Me:''' My inner canary wants to sing {{Dragonforce}}.

I think I love you.

My band director fits this to a T. After doing something really dumb, he asks, "[Troper Name], were you being extraordinarily stupid yesterday or just normally stupid?" That and his deadpan way of threatening to kill at least one person in the band on a near-daily basis.

Hrm, sounds extremely familiar to this troper...

This tropers classmate Nolan almost always talks in a very serious, deadpan voice. So he was reading a story, a very serious one obout the word overflowing with water, and people dying, and things like that. He gets to the part in which the king of an island thats about to drown is going to hang himself- and then we get some evil guy who was responsible for the flood coming in, and the king asking what he wants. Then, we get this line: #QUOTE#"We want your ipod. Your music is cool." #QUOTE#The entire class started laughing.

I had a really good one the other day: #QUOTE#'''Aunt:'''So are your classes hard? #QUOTE#'''Me:'''Not really. *{{beat}}* Not if you're me!

One of my best bud's CatchPhrase is "Apparently your defintion of [insert an adjective] is different from mine."

This troper has a Calculus teacher like this. The class isn't quite sure if he's a full-time DeadpanSnarker or a part-time JerkAss, too, since he usually snarks at students, but we do think he's funny. So long as his comments aren't directed at us. It also pays to know your audience when it comes to sarcasm--some people ''really'' don't appreciate it.

I usually cross JerkAss territory instead of being snarky. In fact, I'm pretty much like this on a daily basis, well thanks to past experiences. One time, my friend told me a joke in class, and our classmate/acquintance asked what was funny, my friend told him nothing and that it was an inside joke. When my classmate said he didn't get it, I told him: #QUOTE#'''Me:''' Of course you wouldn't get it, because it involves friends.

Depending on the situation, this troper can play the role exceedingly well. #QUOTE#'''Friend:''' See, I can gather sticks! #QUOTE#'''Me:''' To be fair, a dog could do the same job quicker. #QUOTE#'''Son-to-not-be-friend:''' Hey, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. #QUOTE#'''Soon-to-be-slapped-me:''' I did. It's very impressive that canines can be trained to higher competency levels than certain humans. #QUOTE#Then I got bored of normal snarkiness. So I moved on to hypocritical snarkiness for added joy. #QUOTE#'''Me:''' Of course. Only Americans would make such broad generalizations.

This troper is more of a standard smart aleck mixed with Large Ham, but can be more deadpan if he wants.

This troper fits the Snarker part, but replaces the Deadpan with Large Ham. Outside of LargeHam Snarking, I'm one of the biggest Pollyannas you'll probably ever meet.