Happens to this troper from time to time. The most recent version ended with me shouting after the fleeing listener, "I only find dead babies funny ''in theory!''"

Joe Rogan says the same in his stand-up, minus the Digging Yourself Deeper part. After about 5 minutes of jokes involving babies, he says "I'd never hurt a real baby, but I'll piss all over a fake one!"

Yo. Every girl he tries to flirt with. Turns out, when he learned to talk, he never learned to shut up.?

Are you my double?

Or every guy this troper flirts with.

"This troper has his very own bucket of ears collection... that is, of occurences... linguistic occurences, not actual buckets... at least not filled withj ears... Or anything else, for that matter... How long ago should I have shut up?" Friends think it's endearing. Makes it hard to meet anyone new, though. Erm, not that he needs to meet anyone new, nothing happened to his friends... Not that anything would happen... This is not that much of an exaggeration, he can go for several minutes just digging a deeper grave. For himself. Figuratively! The Backspace button is his friend.

every single FUCKING time this troper says something stupid. i really should learn to shut up.

I know what you mean. I attract more attention than I should (not that i don't want attention) when I talk about something that could be best described as ambiguously weird, and people give me the looks; sometimes, they laugh at me, too. And at the rate of stupid things I say, people act like this with me almost all the time. Not that I'm a weird person, it's just the... Ambiguosity... Of the thing. Not ''that'' thing, just what I say.

Almost every single time this guy talks. It's annoying to him, funny for others.

Anytime this troper tries to talk about Twilight, even with non-fans or fellow-haters, it just goes completely to hell.

While discussing gardens with the neighbor (mine weed-riddled and making its way onto hers, rid of weeds), I suggested retirement must remove a lot of worries from their life. Boy, there were no good options down ''that'' DialogueTree.

This troper tends to lapse into it, intentionally. Why? It makes everyone else feel pretty awkward, which amuses me to no end.

This troper revels in ear buckets, it's just fun to see how far off track you can take a simple greeting.

A friend of mine has saved almost every phone message I've ever left her, because of my tendency to dig myself into a hole with hilarious results.

{{Excel-2009}}. I pride myself for my inability to catch myself on my own insensitivity before it's too late. I say something that everyone I know (save my parents, usually) wouldn't bat an eye at, and before I know it I find myself apologizing and explaining myself for something that makes perfect sense in one community but is {{facepalm}}-inducing in another.

Happened once during a driving lesson. The instructor asked me some technical question to which I attempted to answer. After various half-hearted answers, I asked if I was just digging myself deeper. His face was eloquent enough for an answer.

The following has become something of a running gag for this troper: "I dug myself INTO this hole, and I will DIG MY WAY OUT!"

This Troper was talking to a friend that he sort-of-kind-of-maybe has feelings for. She was complaining that all the guys who ask her out were only interested in sex. So naturally, I say: #QUOTE#'''Troper:''' Well, ''I'' Don't want to have sex with you. #QUOTE# *beat* #QUOTE# '''Troper:''' I'll just go over there.

This Troper would like to cite this trope as an argument against his consumption of alcohol. His friends would like to cite it as an argument ''in favour'' of it.

Few things are funnier than two people Digging Themselves Deeper with each other at the same time.

A short one, but: One time I went to a friend's house after a rough night of babysitting. When I realized how edgy I'd become - barking at my friends, I tried to explain. First that I'd been babysitting, fine; then, how I generally enjoy kids, only that with these kids, I had trouble doing several hours at a go and would've done better with just a small period of time. So, what came out was: #QUOTE#"I mean, I like kids, but I like them better in pieces." ''(Wait. Rephrase.)'' "I mean, in ''sections''."

This troper has a tendency to do this, both on purpose, and by accident. When he does it on purpose, he'll keep adding to something he says, stretching the comment from innocent right into cringe-worthy. He also does the same when he does it by accident, to the point where even he isn't sure which is which. He knows when he starts doing it, though, 'cause his friends'll say 'you want a jcb or a shovel for that hole?'

One time, strolling the mall with a friend, we pass a dress shop that she likes, and comments on getting her Grad dress there. I responded that I got mine (My suit) piece-meal, and missing only a single beat, I added "Not my dress though, I got that all at once." We had a good laugh afterwards.

I keep getting close to it, and I succeed at digging myself out. I just stay perfectly hones at all times and it works.

This troper's bisexual brother was telling her about how awful the guys in his class were, and she said, "You know what? You're gonna have to deal with a ton of dicks in your life. I mean, assholes. I mean..." He almost died laughing.

This troper best remembers seeing that a friend got a hair cut that didn't seem to fit her well in this troper's opinion. Turns out she should have waited to find out how the friend felt about the hair before saying anything: "What happened to your hair!?" "...What? I... liked it." "I... guess it looks okay. Just not on you-* realization*." "Oh gee, thanks. I see who my friends are." "No! I meant that it doesn't really fit your personality and style and-." "No, no, I'm just gonna go over here where my real friends are." "...* facepalm* "

This troper usually realises before digging too deep, and manages to get out by virtue of being such a CloudCuckooLander that her friends expect just about every conversation to go this way at some point, another friend isn't as lucky, she tends to keep digging as quickly as she can until she ends up a flailing, embarressed wreck, or someone yells at her to dig up, stupid!, to the point that it's been hypothosised that she only opens her mouth to change feet

Happens quite often to this troper, given her tendency to ramble and a generally rather haphazard train of thought. "...that's not what I meant" is the frequent follow-up to this conversational derailment.

This troper was having a conversation about "shudder" Jedward. Apparently they don't drink milk, for some strange reason. I wondered how many "deluded fangirls" had sworn off milk as a result of this. They responded they had. I replied "when I said "deluded", I meant... something less insulting".

Happens to this troper ALL. THE. TIME. This is partly because she's very prone to ThatCameOutWrong and rambling, and partly because she's a pedantic, so if she feels her meaning is unclear, she'll go on along rambling spiel trying to clarify it. Usually this just succeeds in muddying the waters. A typical example, from when she was on vacation and talking to her dad on the phone, went something like this: #QUOTE#'''Troper''': Okay, see you later. Well, not actually later. Well, yeah, I guess it is kind of later, but much later, since it's not for a week. I guess it really depends on how you define later. ...you know what, love you, see you lat- uh *hangs up phone*

This troper had a real gem recently at work. One of his coworkers is adorable, and this troper is afflicted with severe PerverseAsexualCuddlelust for him. Add that into a tendency to talk to himself, and you have a bit of a recipe for disaster: "Hey, [Name removed]! How are you doing? I was just talking to myself about you. I do that a lot. Talk to myself, I mean. Not always about you. But sometimes about you. But I talk to myself about my other coworkers too, so you shouldn't feel awkward. And I never answer, or hold conversations with myself, so that probably means I'm not crazy. At least I don't think so. Then again, if I was really crazy, would I think I was? Probably not. You don't think I'm crazy, though, do you? *Laughs slightly desperately* I'll just stop talking now."

This troper. Far too often. About 1/3 of what he says, even. His thought process and tendency to ramble about anything causes trouble, especially with friends and relatives.

FlyingFerret has a huge tendency to do this. The most recent time, I tried to make sense of an article on economic problems in the European Union. I ended up with "so, basically it's not on life support, but it may have cancer?"

This lesbian troper's best friend got herself into this situation after making a "JustinBieber is gay" joke around me. She got embarresed and tried to justify it. At it's height: #QUOTE# Friend: Look, I only think he's gay because I hate him! #QUOTE# Me: You're not helping yourself here! #QUOTE# Friend: I know! I'm sorry!! ->She genuinely seemed like she hadn't realized the implications of Justin-Bieber-is-gay jokes until that conversation, so I wasn't too mad at her, though.

I try to (or accidentally) subvert this by whenever saying something into AccidentalPervert or UnfortunateImplications territory, I just mind my own business, while people look, something jaw-dropped at me. I nonchalantly turn to them after 5-10 seconds and go "What?" If they keep doing it, I just go on "WHAT???" They prefer to leave it at that.

At a camp one time This Troper, another camper, and a counselor went into a store where they were selling stuffed animal sperm (seriously). The other female camper thought they were cute and wanted to get one, but was out of money. So she tried to get the male counselor to lend her some money. The following conversation went something like this: #QUOTE# Camper: Can I have some money to get sperm? #QUOTE# Counselor: What?! #QUOTE# Camper: No, I meant will you buy me sperm! #QUOTE# Counselor: What?!?! #QUOTE# Camper: NO NO NO! I meant I want sperm! #QUOTE# Counselor: (laughing) You want to try saying that again? #QUOTE# Camper: NOOOOOOO! #QUOTE# Me: (Choking on laughter)

This went on for a few more minutes, and I'm pretty sure she started doing it on purpose at some point. Funniest thing I've ever seen.

This troper has a friend like this. Let's call him Ted for now. Once in a class conversation about Justin Bieber, this troper's other friend (we'll call him Jim) turns to her and says, "Phoebe, I would get involved in this discussion, but now that Ted has gotten involved, it's best to just drop it right now, because once Ted starts digging a hole, he will never dig himself out."