This Troper's teacher, on the topic of hominids, described Homo Erectus an "The first human able to stand erect.

This tropette's school was giving out awards to the school athletes. The baseball team's coach said, "And this goes to the player who had the largest stick all year."

The seventh grade wrote short notes for the graduating senior class. This tropette's best friend and her walked past two classmates arguing about who wrote a note for which girl. One of them said, "You're wrong, I'm the one who did Ellen!" The resulting walk to class was the two of us trying not to go into hysterics.

Coming back from a field trip, a girl on this troper's bus was eating a mandarin orange. Being very picky, and loud, exclaimed "Aw, I swallowed the white stuff!" while eating it. Everyone on the bus, except her, burst out laughing.

When I was playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl, my opponent hit me enough times to get my two parts of the Dragoon from Kirby Air Ride. I screamed "No! My parts! My parts! He took my parts!"

This weak-lunged troper once had a really bad cold and was blowing her nose... "I'm not very good at blowing..." followed by a friend saying "Try harder!"... to which I replied "Oh god, it just keeps coming! I'm gonna need more tissues! Maybe another box!" "There's more over there if you need them". Hilarity Ensued.

My English teacher loves to pull phrases from the books they read, then have his students make poems out of them. Unfortunately the phrase he picked was "A salty dew formed on his lips," he didn't realize the implications before it was too late. This same teacher, when annoyed by a group of students, threatened to throw his MobyDick at them.

This happened so much to My student teacher for band. One of the most infamous moments was when he talked about how much he loved "losing his stickies" when referring to sticky notes to talk about what we needed to work on. Needless to say, everyone took it the wrong way. Then there's what we consider his trademark phrase: "Do you have wood, perhaps?" Fun times.

This troper was having a Christmas get-together with his large extended family, and we were all playing Taboo. My fairly innocent 10-year-old female cousin got "Fortune Teller" on her card. She first began by saying, "Um, this person has balls..." and nobody could stop laughing. And later on, my aunt was getting ready to say her words and mixed up her expressions, saying "Yeah, I'm gonna smoke this joint!"

This troper's high school chorale is full of this, instructor included. One of my favorite incidents involved the instructor reprimanding a student for drawing a picture of a giraffe in his music. The instructor acknowledged that it was clearly a male giraffe, leading to the student saying, "Oh no, you misunderstand, that's the back leg, it's not a...ohhhhhh..."

I am a part of a community circus, and was trying to learn juggling. I asked one of our jugglers to teach me. This lead to a thirty minute conversation about juggling balls in which every word had to be weighed to prevent accidental innuendo. Naturally, some came out anyways. "These are really nice balls! Where did you get them?" "Ummm..." Yeah.

Me and a couple of my guy friends were in class at my high school talking, and I went to get some lotion sitting at a table nearby because my hands were dry. I pressed the pump and out jetted this liquidy, watery white-ish lotion all over my hands, and out of shock and awe, I screamed " EWW THE WHITE CRAP SHOT OUT ALL OVER MY HANDS!" Cue immediate laughter from my friends. We now call that paticular bottle of lotion, that is still there to this day, the Jizz Lotion.

On My water polo team, the coach strung a hose across the pool to get us to tread up and set the ball. What resulted was one of the players not getting up high enough and whacking the hose, and the coach saying "hey, don't touch my hose!" .... Then, while we were all laughing, the girl we were supposed to be passing the ball to said, "Hey, I haven't seen any balls here in a long time!"

Water polo is really just one giant accidental innuendo. What other sport do you shag your balls, attempt to get a defender on your back, play in hole, or have non-sexual hickies? (Referring to picking up the water polo balls after shooting, an offensive strategy, an offensive position, and the red marks a water polo suit leaves.)

For the 2000 Sydney olympics, they decided to use some cameras underwater at the Water Polo, to show the amount of work the players do. They didn't use those cameras after the first match!

This troper was having a game session with some friends when his foot fell asleep. I then decided that he was going to sit cross-legged in the chair, and found that he couldn't get his foot onto the chair to do so. Cue the troper, with chair pulled up with the table, making goofy body motions in an attempt to get his foot up on the chair without reaching down. Cue his friends: "What the hell are you doing?" Cue the troper, in reference to his foot: "I can't get it up" Cue the troper going "What? What the hell is s- Oh, God damn it! My foot! I couldn't get my foot up on the chair!"

This troper had an English teacher a few years back who hated him, he literally {{Cant Get Away With Nuthin}}. The teacher in question once badgered him about some homework that NOONE HAD DONE, singling him out because of some abstract loathing (although there was one person who acted up in every class, who she seemed to like) and the troper responded with "aw, come on," which prompted the reply of "don't you come on me!". This troper still gets ribbed about this incident to this very day.

This troper after being hit in the face with a rugby ball said breezily "I get hit in the face by balls all the time". Everyone cracked up as this troper tried to amend the sentence.

A friend of this troper teaches English grammar to non-native speakers at university, and has an unfortunate tendency to pick the verb "come" for examples (e.g. "Did you come?"). She always catches herself ''slightly'' too late, and even if noone else realizes how the sentences might be interpreted, ''she always does''.

As this troper has mentioned in the ThatCameOutWrong page, he knew a girl that tended to often say stuff that could be interpreted as having an innuendo. For example, one time she explained that she had a hole in her trousers because she liked spreading her legs around a lot (she then proceeded to sit with her legs spread and point out that it caused the seam on her trousers to get broken).

When this troper was in Europe, he began to become fairly wary of the constant scam artists. At one point, he claimed to his female friend, "At this point, whenever someone says something to me I just ask, 'How much is this gonna cost me?'" Said friend tested it with, "Hi, my name is Brianne." ...She hit me.

This troper innocently and completely happily named her Bidoof (a ''beaver'' {{Mon}}) Bushy. She didn't even think of the implications until recently.

Another Troper named her Rhyhorn "Horny" when she was very young because she had a somewhat loose grasp of english and it, well, HAS a horn on the head. Her brother (who was elder and also had english as his first language in school - complicated story - told her that something was wrong with the name, then transported it into his Diamond version and now refuses to release it. It wasn't until he showed her the Rhyhorn on his Diamond screen when she realized WHAT he had meant with "well... the bad thing is that it has to do with fucking" (said in our motherlanguage).

When I had to change into my sweats for tennis practice, me and two other people would go to my friends house. I changed in the bathroom, they changed in the bedroom together. I heard a crash one day and when we were going to tennis practice I wanted to know what happened. They gave this explanation: "See, Collin and I were in the bedroom together..." "EEEWWWW!!!!!" "Not like that! So then I was putting on my pants, and Collin tackled me onto the floor then climbed on me, and I told him to get off because I wasn't in the mood, so he got off then I put my pants on."

My friend once did a visual version of this, with his attempt to pantomime putting a shotgun in his mouth. Take a guess what it looked like. That was five years ago and we still make fun of him for it.

I had this happen to me in the 4th grade. That day I had taken two little rubber bouncy balls from my brother's collection. When I was coming home on the bus, they fell out of my pocket. I panicked, thinking my brother would kill me if I lost them. Being in the front of the bus, I turned around and yelled "Has anyone seen my balls? there's two of them!". That was followed by " No wait! I mean the small kind that bounce!" People really won't let that go.

So you're saying your balls dropped when you were around nine or ten?

Due to our filthy minds, this tends to happen within my group of friends at least once a day. It is usually followed by 'that's what she/he said!'

Oh my god me too! It eventually got to the point when several of my high school teachers banned the phrase. We had 3 detentions a week after the decree.

My dad has corrupted my mind so much that my friends can hardly say anything without me getting the wrong idea.

This female troper is the queen of this, and not ''that'' kind of queen. For instance, some of my friends had been looking at a sex-toy catalogue for fun, and we began talking about something else, but the catalogue was still out. I said that someone should "get off" of something, and my friends thought I was purposely making a dirty joke. I wasn't.

My female friend, after being called on a previous accidental innuendo said something to the respect of "damn it, why do you keep tricking me into stupid, sexual things..."

One of my friends was on his PSP looking up pornography and trying (successfully) to get me and my other friend to watch porn with him. Right when I decided 'fine' my little nephew rushed in saying "Do you want a banana" holding out banana's for all three of us. Suffice to say we were laughing hard.

I had a classmate who was trying to gather up all of the tennis balls in the classroom before class started. He left to grab a notebook from his bag and a friend of his scattered the tennis balls all across the room. He came back and saw that the tennis balls were no longer there and he ended up shouting "My balls! Where are my balls?!"

Turned a joke against myself on accident while harassing a friend over character selection in Left4Dead. My initial claim was that Bill's Gay Country Club wouldn't allow Louis or Zoey to join. When questioned why I was part of such a dubious affair, my reply came as "I'm not gay, I'm only along for the ride".

During a science lesson I had a while ago, we were learning about how the eardrum works. I blurted out, in front of his crush and several other girls no less, "So everyone has a vibrator?" I blame the internet.

During the weight lifting unit in gym, there was one point in time where we had to use rubber weights. Cue on of my friends saying "Sara, I can't find the ten pound rubber!"

During band practice, one of my band directors was hot, so he told one of us to go and "Jiggle the thing," meaning "Turn down the thermostat." We all recognized this and pointed it out.

2 situations of this kind happened to moi, both in 2 different acting classes, 1) We were doing a Would I Lie To You thing and it was one of the others go and she said that she went to Japan, and I said so did you go on a tour guide, instead of just tour, I only recognized the Accidental Innuendo when everyone laughed. 2) The teacher per se of the class said hole in one and about 6 of the 14 people (all girls) Started giggling uncontrollably because beforehand they were talking about whether someone else's character was having an affair with my golf obsessed character.

Subversion happened in My World Geography class when we were talking about the solar system (shouldn't we be learning about this in science?) in that it wasn't accidental. When on the planets, we reached Uranus. Yes, the teacher was pronouncing it ''that'' way, but the killers were, "Uranus has rings made of ice and rock" and "To reach Uranus" (I don't even remember what was said next). Even the teacher herself started laughing then.

Another one about Uranus: We were making models out of planets to hang on the ceiling and when the teacher asked if they were done, my friend replied "I need to put some glitter on Uranus". Cue as many Uranus jokes as humanly possible for the next few days.

This troper was doing a "white elephant gift exchange" in her class. I picked up one random box, and I held up a bag that said "Squishy Baseballs" on it. With no idea what to say for the mandatory thank you speech, I ended up panicking and saying, "Thank you for these squishy balls." Suddenly, this random person in the audience yelled, "Squishy balls!" really loudly. HilarityEnsues.

Afterwards, this guy got stuffed animals. His speech: "Thank you for these cute stuffed animals. I will make sure I will sleep with them."

My friend is the king of finding these. You will not get away with saying anything for long enough without a "That's what SHE said!"

I have a rather odd friend. Said friend is completely obsessed with SuzumiyaHaruhi. So, one day, we were discussing it. One thing he said was, "If I had to be stuck in a closed space with someone /forever/, it would be you." For those who don't know, that would be like starting the world over ... Yeah, he hasn't heard the end of that.

By any chance, does your friend or you wear a yellow hairband?

I once in an english class, while we were put into discussion groups on tables, got put on the same table as the girl I have a big crush on. People were commenting on my height(Im fairly tall) and I noted that I infact have large hands, big feet, long hair, large eyebrows, long arms, massive legs, big teeth and a large nose, and that I am in general very oversized everywhere on me....Oh god I didnt mean that!!. I actually got applauded by a few of the male members of my english class.

Male members?

At an ethics meeting, a speaker was talking about how to avoid plagiarism and how getting help from outside sources like parents constitutes cheating. As she put it, it's unfair to seek help because "not everyone has access to your mom."

There's a stand at My state fair called European Nuts. They sell, true to form, roasted, sugared almonds and cashews and such. This has been, from the earliest I can remember, the only time my parents ever led the entire family in a sexual innuendo... myself, of course, being painfully oblivious to it all. (The fact that my dad renamed the stand, thanks to the dirndl-wearing saleswomen, the Kaiser's Nuts, might have helped me catch on in the end.) On another testicle-related pun, one of My elementary school games involved pompom-like yarn balls. One of my classmates had two of them already stuffed up his shirt-sleeves, and asked for one of mine. I said no; he already had two. I got reported by the instructor for making a dirty joke.

{{CloudCuckoolander}}s + FreudWasRight + TheIngenue + AllMenArePerverts + a meme involving cookies and lesbians + Freud Was Right + TheUnintelligible + too much noise to hear well + '''FreudWasRight''' = Dug self into hole filling up with Accidental Innuendoes.Let's just leave it at that. One of the best/worst was: #QUOTE# First friend: (long list of chatter) what are you doing after school today?\\ Second friend: You, and (chatter)\\ BeatPanel\\ Everyone else: Umm...\\ HilarityEnsues.

My science teacher: "Keep your hands to yourself, and don't touch anybody. If you need to touch someone, you can touch yourself."

A recent one in My British Literature class #QUOTE# '''Teacher:''' I need to plug in [the plug into the outlet...unfortunately, she just left it at plug in...]. #QUOTE# '''Entire class:''' OOOH!!!

I have one group of friends that does this all the time. If you're in their presence for half an hour without somebody saying No Homo or [=~That's What She Said~=], consider yourself lucky.

This troper remembers a time in the seventh grade when we somehow got on the topic of my classmate Danny's younger brother. #QUOTE# '''Teacher:''' What is he interested in? #QUOTE# '''Danny:''' I don't know. #QUOTE# '''Teacher:''' Well, when you play with your brother, what do you play? #QUOTE# '''Danny:''' My brother plays with himself

"Multi Purpose Glue! It fulfills ALL of you needs." #QUOTE# "Whoa. It is like, the white, sticky stuff that gets the job done."

I was in a class where we were discussing Halloween costumes. Started with one girl saying that she was going to have "fang" caps put on her teeth (I'm not a vampire, it's just me and my fangs), and led to "I'm not Yoda, it's just me and my lightsaber." (Right... Strange thing is, they didn't even notice it.)

One week at this troper's Village Drama group, we were rehearsing our {{Pantomime}}, but due to an actor playing one of the main characters not being there, one of the younger guys was standing-in for them. At one point, one of that character's lines were "My love is futile!", but instead, what came out was "My love is fertile!", to which someone else quips "I don't think you want that kind of love!". Laughter Ensued.

Another example occured recently, whilst she was on the bus (not like that) with a male friend. He was fiddling/examining the keyrings on her bag, leading to this... #QUOTE#'''This troper:''' Oh, don't worry. Feel free to play with my bag. #QUOTE#'''Male Friend:''' Innuendo much? #QUOTE#'''This troper:''' *''Realises what she's just said sounds like''* Oh gosh, no, I didn't mean it like that, no, I didn't...*''Trails off into incomprehensible babbling/stuttering, and then facepalms''*

My statistics teacher had just taught the class a statistical trick. He then went on to say "You can now use that trick on your little brothers and sisters. I like to take advantage of small children!" One person caught it quickly, and the rest of the class soon followed, plunging us all into a laughing, snorting fit. He then proceeded to say "I meant in betting!" through his tears of laughter, however it came out sounding more like "bedding". That only served to add fuel to the fire.

A friend of mine, after falling victim to this trope multiple times, got tired of it, and said something to the respect of "Look, I know I always set myself up for stupid, sexual things..." My response? "Set yourself up for stupid sexual things, you say?" And from then on, whenever she said something that sounded like an innuendo, I would mention that "You set yourself up for stupid, sexual things again, didn't you?"

As a teenager, my best friend used to walk home from school with me until her mother got off work, at which point she would come to my house to pick up my friend. One day we heard her mother enter the house and call to us, "Heather, it's time to leave." Friend and I were in the midst of a conversation, so she called out to her mother, "just a sec, Mom." A minute later, her mother again called out for her daughter to hurry up, and once again friend responded with, "just a sec, I'll be right there!" Friend's mother was understandably impatient at this point, so with friend's third response of "just a sec", her mother finally lost it and shouted, "no more secs, Heather, come NOW!" That effectively ended the conversation, but it took my friend and me several minutes to stem the tide of hysterical laughter.

This troper is a walking AccidentalInnuendo/ ThatCameOutWrong, much to his family and coworkers enjoyment and his own horror.

This troper's high school chorus consists of 20+ silly, dirty-minded teenagers and one GeniusDitz director. Said troper first noticed the tendency for this situation to generate AccidentalInnuendo when the bell sounds in "Carol of the Bells" were being sung too short, resulting in everyone being ordered to "hold your dongs." Giggling ensued.

Heh, you too? Happened at my high school as well...

I was once talking about a trio team with some friends, and happened to refer to it as a "threeway." I did not think anything of it until the laughter started.

My friend was being nosy and messing with her sisters camcorder. The start of the tape was full of family stuff. When my sister came in she said "Hey, all your private stuff is on the front." I laughed. No one else got it.

This male troper once, in the middle of the hallway of his dorm along with another half dozen of the residents, found himself roughly six inches from a friend of his that is 6'3 and broad sholdered. It is crucial to realize that he had just showered and was wearing only a towel. This male troper, having not been so close to the guy before, remarked very loudly "I never noticed before, BUT YOU'RE FUCKING HUGE!" Everyone else realized the ramifications of this long before I did.

Second incident, I'm in the room of the same guy, watching him play Age of Empires with a bunch of these same guys. The smurfette in the room, who didn't really get the game, remarked that it was "gay". Taking gay in this context to be synonomys with "nerdy", I then proudly remarked "You think that's gay, you don't even want to know what I do in my room all day" (referring to this website, incidentally). There were a few guys who twenty minutes later were still collapsed on their beds wimpering softly with laughter (I have a problem keeping my voice colume down). These were both within a week of each other. I was a good sport about it, but I sort of withdrew a bit afterwards.

This Mormon Troper played a game at a scripture study class where you pulled a word out of a hat and then tried to get your teammates to guess what it was without saying the word. You had to get them to guess as many words as possible within one minute. If you didn't want to do it, you could set it aside and pick another word. I'd already set aside about six words so when I came to the word "preisthood" I said the first thing that came to mind, which unfortunately happened to be "MEN HAVE IT WOMEN DON'T!" If you think Mormon kids don't laugh at dirty humor...you are sadly mistaken.

Would also like to mention that even though people laughed, there were a few who thought I'd said it on purpose and from then on saw me as "that dirty-minded heathen." They were a minority though.

This troper, when explaining why he preferred Luigi's Mansion over Super Mario Sunshine, proceeded to say that it was more fun to "suck than to squirt". Things got really quiet after that was said...

I, at school one day, was filming a mock-commercial with some friends for sham-Wow. There were two different kinds: checkered and fuzzy. I say to this friend, who is a guy and has all the sham-Wows stuffed in his shorts, 'Ok, the checkered one mops up water, what's that fuzzy thing in your pants do?' Needless to say, the entire room goes dead silent until our teacher pipes up with '[=~That's What She Said~=]!'

That this troper finds even more amusing about that is the teacher, ''of all people'', was the one who countered it.

This troper was asking her friend for a napkin, which she responds with "I dunno, I gotta pea on it.". Read that over a few times.

My principal said in his first speech at the school, "I love adolescents." We're never gonna let him forget it.

Whenever friends of mine would mumble something or just say something I couldn't hear I'd always reply with "You did what with who for how many cookies?" or "It was just once and I was drunk!"

Once, a friend and I were in Japanese class, and he managed to get me into retorting with "I'll (verb) you!" whenever he said something weird. At one point, our conversation went something like this: #QUOTE#'''Friend''': Oh, you're a bit imaginative. #QUOTE#'''Me''': I'll imagine you! #QUOTE#{{Beat}} #QUOTE#'''Me''': Oh, God. I didn't mean that!

I experienced a similar incident. My friend loves to mock me after I say certain phrases with a "''You're'' (tail end of phrase)." One exchange I remember particularly well: #QUOTE#'''Me''': Well, that was a bit ''too'' easy. #QUOTE#'''Friend''': ''You're'' too easy. #QUOTE#'''*Glaring Ensues. Friend bursts out laughing* '''

During a conversation about a particular opera singer, this troper sent three grown men - two of whom were pushing fifty, for crying out loud - into a helpless fit of the giggles when she uttered the words "Well, his instrument isn't very large."

When summarizing a recent attempted break in that had resulted in community service to a friend, I ended up using the phrase, "Basically, the three of us were bored, and I had a wire coat hanger, so . ." She stopped when she saw the expression on her male, slightly perverted friend's face.

My math teacher once said one when as the class, there only about 6 of us all male with a female teacher took one of the chocolates someone had brought in and asked what was in it, some said " White stuff" to which she stated "I love white stuff" cue laughter

This actually happened on a forum but the conversation somehow was about two things at the same time one being about pedophiles in white vans and the other about some game and then this happened... #QUOTE#'''Forum User''': ...candy AND possibly sex with an older man! #QUOTE#'''Me''': preferably at the same time #QUOTE#'''Forum User''': ew? #QUOTE#'''Me''': WAIT!

@/FarseerLolotea fixed coffee this morning, and offered her fiancé the slightly larger mug. He acknowledged it with "You know I like bigger cups."

We were working in D&T (woodwork, metal work, whatever you call it) and our teacher was describing our final assignment, which was to make a toy, but he was trying to explain that not all toys are designed for children. #QUOTE#'''Teacher''': I don't mean children toys, I mean adult toys- He noticed and laughed along with us. Luckily.

One sleepover not long ago my friends and I were watching TV. We had been watching 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?', but it had ended and the station went on to infomercials. We watched about five minutes of an infomercial for 'Cricut' http://www.cricut.com/ , and we were rather sugar-high and had already been making fun of '17 again' for hours. After a short while of searching for something else, we found Cricut to be more entertaining than anything else we can find. Eventually, it got to the customers reviewing the product, and one said somehting along the lines of 'It eliminates the need for all other tools I've bought.' Later, the commercial exclaimed; "But wait! There's more! Call now and we'll add the Deep Cut Blade!' Cue hysterical laughter.

This troper has been taking the bus to a dog-walking gig this last week. Said bus passes a few churches. The sign in front of one church says 'Christ Came to Deliver us from Sin'. Troper hasn't been able to get the image out of her brain since.

I, while playing Phantasy Star Online (its phoenix down is called a moon atomizer) and said "I'm going to moon you!" An embarrassing time.

This troper was watching his friend play Ocarina of Time, using a few cheats on, one of which can make Link grow and shrink. During the cutscene in which Gandondorf imprisons Zelda, he was inadvertanly half as tall as Zelda when she screams and gets stuck in the crystal. He was also standing right in front of her.

Later, while trying to do the same thing, he got stuck with Link in fastforward, meaning Link was bouncing up and down on his toes. At that same cutscene, he was twice as tall as Zelda.

I have a choir teacher in high school whose personal goal is practically to defy this trope. He has made several purposeful innuendos.

In one such occasion, we were working on a song, and he commented 'That was close. But close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and couples.' Several kids were confused at the 'couples' part, so he decided to demonstrate by turning around and groping his back. Cue several minutes of giggling.

Also, whenever we've been working really really hard al day and we're all sick of it, he'll joke by pretending to crack a whip and making corresponding sound effects. Usually this just gets a couple of giggles and we move on, but one day everyone giggled a bit too much, and he commented; "Some of you are enjoying that a little too much." HilarityEnsues.

Later in the year, one girl in the alto section had a bit of a back-and-forth argument with one of the bases, in which our choir teacher commented 'You know, your flirting is really obvious.' At that, one of the sopranos called out 'She has a boyfriend already!' To this, our wonderful teacher comments; 'Well, in htat case I would say what Santa says.' Unfortunately, he had to explain the joke.

And most recently, he was explaining how your diaphragm works. After a couple of minutes of no success (For those who don't know, the diaphragm is a muscle on your lower stomach), he calls one of the male students forward and asks him to gently punch his diaphragm as he sings. Cue every single word he says sounding extremely suggestive out of context. Later, he had the whole choir "Pair up" and do it to each other. Some of the best quotes were along the lines of: "You don't have to do this if you don't want to." "You don't have to be hard, be gentle." My friend and I just laughed in the back for a while.

While sitting at a basketball game in middle school, I saw an advertisement reading "Can't Beat Dick's Meat!"

In high school, this troper heard someone say "I love you" to him. She was describing the letter, as in: "I love 'U'."

During lunch one day, my friend was eating a particularly large sandwich. I was oblivious to the fact, until the friend took a big bite and everyone else went "Whoa." I looked up and, without thinking about it, asked, "Wait, how big was it before he put it in his mouth?"

This troper was in a friends house with him and another friend one day. The other friend had gone downstairs for something while the friend whose house it was said to me "Come into the bedroom I have something to show you" I walked in and my response was "Holy Crap it's huge" "Just touch it" "I ain't touching that. It's sick". He was showing me a giant spider on his wall but all we could from downstairs was our other friend laughing his ass off.

So, I was walking to the bus stop back in middle school and me and my friend were talking about guns for one reason or another. Another person at the bus stop was talking about pregnancy for some reason or another. I blurt out "Well, you need to cock it if you want something to come out the hole" loud enough for both parties to hear. Hilarity follows.

This troper once hitched a ride with his female coworker (she just happened to spot me on the way to work and offered the ride) and we were talking about things I can't remember. She was talking about hoping for something, and said to this male troper "Knock on wood, if there's any wood in this car." This troper doesn't think she realized what she said, and he didn't point it out to her. He also hopes it's "accidental".

One time in English class we were being rather rowdy and the teacher couldn't get us to settle down. So one guy said to her (referring to the plastic box/tray/tub thing in which she kept her papers etc.) "Miss, if you want us to keep quiet how about you bang your box on the table?" I stared at him and exclaimed his name with mock indignance, and the funniest look of pure horror spread over his face as he realised what he'd said.

One time in my Creative Living class, some friends and I were sitting around and and talking about random stuff. Then one person said to the girl(who is a vegetarian, by the way) that while she was sleeping, he'd shove meat down her throat. No one really noticed the innuendo, until he pointed it out himself. We all burst out in laughter.

My Chemistry teacher got stuck with this so much I am almost convinced she did it on purpose. A few infamous ones: "I want you to feel me to the point of action", and "I want you all to engage in social intercourse."

This troper decided he wanted a new profile picture for his facebook page. He decided he wanted to experiment with negative space, so he took a profile of himself in front of a blue TV screen with steepled fingers in a dark room. The experiment worked, and he uploaded it to his page. Two hours later, he comes back to his computer to see that nobody seeing a profile of his face, they were seeing the space between his hands and his face. It looked like a profile of someone's groin. Needless to say, he quickly edited out his hands, and hoped nobody alerted the facebook staff.

I, as a freshman in high school, was on the cross country team. One of our {{TeamMom}}s liked to buy us helium balloons for each meet, and since we were a bunch of predictable dorks, we would inhale the helium and giggle at each other sounding like The Chipmunks. Troper was asked how she got it to last so long. Troper said, slightly louder than necessary, "Simple - you have to swallow after you suck." Cue the entire bus going silent for a second before busting out laughing, and said little frosh going bright, BRIGHT red.

My science classmates were discussing what Tupac would taste like were he accidentally deposited into a french-fry machine. Cue I looking up from her chemistry notes and snapping, "You're all wrong; he would just taste like meat. (beat) ...That was unfortunate, wasn't it."

My friend produced a legendary one. The answer was "You just put it in and waggle it around until it goes soft." The question was "How do you cook spaghetti?"

My college physics professor (who frequently went off on tangents about his family) once commented about his wife, "I like to stay on top of her" (meaning he liked to know about her hobbies and the like). Cue nervous giggling from the class. Upon which he asked, "What? Was it something I said?" No one was quite brave enough to point the innuendo out to him.

I had a school history text book that described a part of the Battle of the Marne as: "The French put up stiff resistance, then plunged into the German rear".

Takes on a whole new meaning now that we have Hetalia, doesn't it.

This troper was once riding in his brother's truck with his brother, and we were talking about a plot hole that came up in {{Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series}}, where Marik says that he's evil when he takes over a person, but when Yami did it he was still a good guy. I responded that Yami had Yugi's permission, and we got to the point where we were talking about why Yugi was considered the main character when Yami did all the work. I told him about how Yugi won a few duels on the show, and the innuendo came when I saw a cat walking along the road as I was saying something. #QUOTE# '''Me''': And there was even one time when he didn't have the puzzle hanging around his ''(sees cat) kitty!'' Needless to say, hilarity ensued.

This troper tried to describe a sushi roll in its uncut form by touching his thumb to his index finger to form a circle and then holding his hands open in front of him, palms facing each other, about six inches apart. Think the hand symbol for "okay" followed by "Five dollar foot-long" at half size.

This happens a lot to I. Especially around her boyfriend and other perverted friends. I would say something and would not realize that it sounds wrong until someone starts giggling or says along the lines of "Do you even realized what you just said?", or "That's what she said!"

I once saw a poster in a pre-school area of a church with the caption "I keep my hands to myself" and a picture of a disturbingly grinning child with his hands in his lap.

My friend, when discussing why she was eating a lollipop, came out with something along the lines of "People just like to have something in their mouths to suck on." She said this somewhat loudly in the middle of class.

This is what you get when you throw together a group of very tired freshmen practicing for a school event, a senior whose cute and shy voice makes everything sound adorably funny, and a sophomore who has spent too much time on the internet and with innuendo-filled friends to not notice anything slightly off: #QUOTE#'''Freshman girl''': How did you know whom I was talking about? #QUOTE#'''Senior''': (referring to himself and a freshman guy) We did a three-way with you, remember? He was referring to a ''three-way call'', people. #QUOTE#'''Sophomore''': (thinking) Riiiiight.

To add to that, ''anything'' that doesn't even sound remotely like an innuendo becomes one when said sophomore (now a junior, actually) repeats it to one of her best friends. It's slightly amusing.

This troper was listening to one of her friends describing an OC he'd made up in his head. It could use sonic vibrations to read people's minds, or something like that. Guess what he named it. I tried not to laugh, guys. I really did. And even after saying it, he was still clueless as to what he had just said. #QUOTE# '''Kid''': What's wrong? I know it's a little geeky, but...

I was recently working on a group project in school. The other two classmates in my group were guys, so they were spitting out filthy jokes left and right. With the sheer number of intentional dirty jokes, it is not very surprising that at least one accidental innuendo would occur. What IS surprising is that fact that I was ''the only one who noticed''. #QUOTE#'''Classmate''': (Referring to a laptop) Here! Troper! Take this, go ''get it on'', and then bring it back here.

@/{{Popette}}'s friend had a brilliant example. A boy was talking about how hard the life of a whale must be. Then her friend cuts in and says, "You wouldn't have trouble being a whale. All you have to do is lay there, moan and squirt stuff out of your head." Cue laughter.

I was in class when a teacher made one. The innuendo was "This thing is pretty thick and looks hard". What she was referring to was a packet that she was handing out. The teacher didn't seem to notice (or she did but just didn't want to bring attention to it), but a friend and I giggled to ourselves when we heard her say that. Another time was when I was with the same friend while we were playing Super Smash Bros. He noticed my controller wasn't on, and said "Wait, I forgot to turn you on." When I heard him say that, I immediately mentioned that I was putting that in Troper Tales

Happens to ThisTroper and his friends so many times that half the things we say are followed by "And that's not a euphemism".

In sixth grade, this happened to This Troper and her friends so freaking much. You could say anything and we'd all burst out laughing:

She had a tendency to keep going in and out of the school at recess. When she mentioned this to her friend, her friend said, "In and out and in and out," while making motions with her fingers. We all burst into laughter.

Another time, they were sitting on the couch and the couch was making squeaking noises. "It sounds like a bed," I said, before my friend said, "rock the bed."

Yet another time, my friends and I were on the playground. One of my friends said, "Let's do the monkey bars." Cue laughter from both me and my other friend. Actually, now that I think about it, we had accidental innuendo moments every day.

And in My grade seven year:

We were in Drama class in a circle and the teacher kept moving everyone around so we didn't get distracted. One boy gets distracted a lot, so the teacher moved him between two girls. He said, "Yeah, I'll fool around with [name] and [name]." There was an awkward pause, then we all burst out laughing, and the teacher took the cue to yell, "TOO MUCH INFORMATION! We don't need to know who you're going to have sex with!" It took several minutes for this to wear off.

One of her classmates said, "I'm going to do the string now." It was followed by a boy saying, "How do you do a string?"

I was holding two dodgeballs in her hand. One of the boys came up to her and said, "Can I have your balls?" I replied quite seriously, "I don't have balls. You do." Cue stunned boy and cheerful me.

We were talking about math (I take a French class). We were learning this order of math thing called "PEDMAS" and we were told what it was in English (BEDMAS). The innocent boy in our class said, "It's like doing PEDMAS in BED!" There was an awkward pause. Then the whole class burst out laughing except for him. He still doesn't get it to this day.

One of her friends was sitting on a pole and sliding down it, talking about her crush. Cue the response: "Stop fucking the pole, it's not Evan." She replied, "I can pretend, can't I?" And she started to pretend to rape the pole for real. Hilarity Ensues.

I was recently working in a group on a health project and we were using usb sticks to transfer data from comp to comp. It took about two seconds of people gaping before I realized how wrong "Brian, hand me your stick" sounds.

I was at basketball practice and began to tell her friends, "How flat the balls were," and how they "Needed to be pumped up."

My school usually deals with the number of students taking school buses home by having them line up on the basketball courts in groups according to which bus they catch. On rainy days, they normally line up inside the nearby school hall, which also serves as an indoor gym and is often used for music practices, assemblies and meetings. There are a lot of plastic chairs kept stacked in the hall, which is their default state. On the day in question, the chairs had been used for something but hadn't been restacked. It was raining heavily, and the senior students catching My bus were allowed to wait outside, under shelter, while everyone else remained inside. One of my friends had a megaphone which she used to inform everyone which bus had arrived. Anyway, we were making small talk and waiting when this gem occurred. #QUOTE#'''Vice Principal''': Are they (meaning the waiting students) sitting on the chairs? Tell them to get off. #QUOTE#'''Friend''': OK, everyone, get off. [Vice Principal] says get off, so get off. I burst into laughter, had to tell everyone what the joke was and got berated for having a filthy mind.

Same troper, different example. Every year, my school has an athletics carnival and a swimming carnival. The four school houses rehearse cheers and chants, and the house leaders decide on a theme, pick a song and make up a dance to it. This year, my house captain dragged out an old cheer I've never heard of. One of the lines was '[House] will always be on top'. When it was first rehearsed, I and two others started laughing. It was seriously funny, especially when the entire house chanted it...

Same troper again. While waiting at the bus lines, I found it quite difficult not to laugh at everyone talking about where they'd get off... they were talking about where they intended to leave the bus at, of course...

I was in math class one day. Instead of doing math, we were studying for the ACT, and our math teacher was reading grammar rules out of this giant book. When he got to the usage of semicolons, he read out loud "The semicolon is also known as the light period" then stopped, staring at the book. There was a very long pause as everyone stifled giggles, then our teacher looked up from the book and said "I'm trying very hard not to make a joke about that." We all laughed. A lot.

My Computer Science teacher recently complained that her daughter told her she wasn't allowed to use the phrase 'quick and dirty' to describe things and she didn't know why. One of the students replied, "Never use that phrase again."

Is' cousin once gave have a taco with sour cream in it. I said i liked it, and his friend made the joke 'oh, she likes the white stuff!' I groaned and my cousin laughed when his friend realized what he said and went about beet red.

Once during a conversation, My friend said (regarding orange popcicles, mind you) "I've noticed they're much more fun to suck then lick. You get more juice that way, and it doesn't drip." It then took a solid five minutes for me to even get her to realize she'd made an innuendo.

I, when I was pretty small, was talking with my dad, and mentioned that I'd named the stuffed unicorn I was carrying "Horny". He said I had to name it something else, and I had no idea why for /years/.

Along the same lines, I had a stuffed lion cub that I was going to name "Sucker" before my parents headed me off...my theory being that, well, that's how lion cubs drink milk. Whoops.

Too many to count. I'll just put this mulitple AccidentalInnuendo one: #QUOTE#'''Best Friend''': Can I have a caramel? Pleeeease?? I'll do anything for you!! Anything! #QUOTE#'''Me''': That's what she said... #QUOTE#'''Best Friend''': WHATEVER. Talking to you is so hard! #QUOTE#'''Me''': I bet it is. #QUOTE#'''Best Friend''': {{Facepalm}}* Give me a freakin' caramel. NOW. #QUOTE#'''Me''': For the last freakin' time, no!! I told you, /I/ bought them and /I'm/ sucking on them! Okay?! #QUOTE#{{Beat}} #QUOTE#'''Me''': I didn't - ! No! NO! I -- uh -- soup! -- oh -- *goes into incoherent angry babbling and then facepalms partially* #QUOTE#'''Best Friend''': Joke's on you! #QUOTE#'''Me''': ClusterFBomb

@/{{TMOH}} can't talk about First Mate Cox (from ''{{Nation}}'') without invoking this trope.

On fanart: "These days I pretty much only draw Cox."

On an embarassing case of PerverseSexualLust: "I ''shouldn't'' like Cox, but I do."

Upon waking up from a MassiveMultiplayerCrossover dream: "I think Cox came up somewhere, too."

...you get the idea.

I have the same problem with Dick Grayson of Nightwing fame.

"I love Dick!"

"Dick is awesome!"

Or, most recent and most embarrassing, I had just gotten some brand-new Robin merchandise and told my friends, "I'm going to be looking at my Dick all the way home!" (I'm a girl...)

At the local renfair, buying a leather vest for my costume, the guy selling to me asks, "Ok, so do you want it smooth likt this *points at one* or rougher like this? *points at other* " I, completely innocently, say, "The second. I like it rough." His reaction, and my female friend I was with, was one of hilarity.

This troper was once playing Munchkin with a large group, including her boyfriend. She got a card for an item only the boyfriend could use, and innocently asked him if he had anything that was two hands big. He responded "You know it", and the room cracked up. I then made it worse by checking his cards and saying "Oh, I see, it's your polearm!". No one has let her forget this.

My boyfriend sometimes openly carries a gun. He was standing at a urinal in a gas station one day, when a man stepped up next to him and asked "Do you have a permit for that?"

One time 2 male friends were annoying my female friend by deliberately hovering over her and following her everywhere. The only thing she was holding was a sandwich, so at one point she turned around and yelled the threat: "STOP THAT OR I'LL SANDWICH THE BOTH OF YOU!" HilarityEnsued.

The next day she tried to get back at him by bothering him by trying to steal his BLT, which was on a foot long bread roll. He was also eating jelly with a spoon. After several minutes he yells, "Unhand that or I'll spoon you with my breadstick!"

One time in Biology we were testing potassium levels in soil samples. The teacher explained to us that we needed to 'shake the tube vigourously, shove the dip-stick in, wait a couple of minutes, take it out then repeat.'

A friend was trying to untangle his headphones, and asked another guy to help. "Take the end. Pull it. Yank it. Harder!" Cue the sound of many heads whipping around and a facepalm.

Two visual example this time. In Biology, a couple of boys had been messing around with a lock they had taken off of a locker. One of them locked it onto his belt loop, and then couldn't get it undone. Cue the teacher walking in just as one guy is kneeling in front of the other, tugging at his pants and saying 'I can't get this off!' Teacher's face: priceless.

One time in Math a guy was, for some unknown reason, attempting to use friction to heat up the metal on his phone by rubbing it vigourously against his seat between his legs. He then asked the male teacher if 'it looked hot'

My group of friend has developed a bad, childish habit of saying contradictory things in response to everything, for example the response to 'I just bought a new bag' could be any of the following: 'I'll bag you', 'I'll give you a bag', 'You're a bag' or really anything else that crosses our minds. So one time someone said "come with me to the tuckshop" and I, completely without thinking, responded with "I'll make you come!"

Today it happened again. With the same person. It went as follows: "Come on. Hurry up." "I'll come on you!" * hysterical giggling and exclamations of 'Oh God! That's not what I meant!'

It happened again even worse yesterday. #QUOTE# '''Person 1:''' "Come on, baby" #QUOTE# '''Person 2:''' "I'll come on your baby!" *beat* "Wait! SquickOh God No!"

To quote a physics teacher at this troper's school, while trying to demonstrate friction and heat to her class through rubbing metal rods: #QUOTE# "I need a big, strong boy to rub this rod for me!"\\ "Rub harder! Faster!"\\ "Oh no! The rod fell off!"\\ "What are you all laughing about? I only asked him to help me rub this rod!"

Then again, we ''are'' talking about the same teacher who taught her class the wonders of the '''shoehorse''' magnet...

A few years ago, a friend of mine was writing down some math notes. He got to a part about positives and negatives. When he had to write "positive or negative", he shortened it to "p or n".

That happened to me in sixth grade. The teacher didn't notice until someone pointed it out. Cue laughter that was heard in the other halls very clearly.

This vegetarian troper was with her friends who were grilling hamburgers when one of the patties fell apart. Well, she surprised everyone by picking up the beef and reshaping it into a burger form. Exact words: "Just because I don't eat meat doesn't mean I can't handle it." Cue the boys laughing their asses off.

When I was about 7 or 8, my whole family was in the car late at night, looking for someplace to eat. We got to discussing hybrid meals like brunch, and how there should be one for dinner and breakfast. Naturally, when I suggested "dikfast", my mom was quite upset, while my brother was laughing his head off.

In grade 9, a couple of guy friends has made up this childish rhyme about another friend that went: [insert name here] is a wanker, [name]'s a wanker, [name] is a wanker, stick him in a bin. One of the guys who made up the song had been annoying me by singing it constantly, so completely without thinking, I say "I wish I could do it with you", meaning 'put your name in the song instead of the other guy's, but I can't because your name has the wrong amount of syllables to fit the tune.' Needless to say, that isn't how he interpreted it.

One time a male friend randomly started to massage a female friend's neck. She asks "why are you rubbing me?!" and gets the response of "because I want you to come." *awkward silence lasting a good 10 seconds* No! I meant come to the tuckshop with me!"

Happened to almost ridiculous levels in a conversation with this troper and her friend. #QUOTE#'''Me''': That reminds me. Whenever I try to draw with markers, I always end up getting all of my fingers coloured. I don't know how, it just... happens. #QUOTE#'''Friend''': Oh my god. same here. I think it's because (it happens to me every time) I go to put the pens in the lid absent mindedly/without looking and I miss the lid about 6 times before I do it. #QUOTE#'''Me''': I do it without looking too... But it usually gets in in the first time. So maybe it's just because I'm doing everything fastly.

Good luck talking about anything in the genus ''Sula'', the family Remizidae or the family Paridae without running into this. Especially ''Parus major''.

This troper once asked his roommate if he liked nuts... Result was awkward silence and then this: #QUOTE#'''Roommate:''' Never phrase that question in that way ever again.

A friend at school once told a story about how he almost got, and I quote "pounded by a firefighter" the afternoon before he told the story. Naturally he meant "beaten up", but teenagers being as they are, chose the "up the butt" interpretation. Doubles as a CrowningMomentOfFunny for another friend, who was quick to respond by saying "that's sexy".

In high school curent events we played games of Jeopory at the end of each weak. the teacher tended to split the class into two equal teams. i should mention that about half the class were taking this due to the fact that they couldn't get into the year before i recimended freashmen vs. upperclassmen with one team being the Fs and the other the U's it came out in the worst way possible but we got over it

This troper's young, possibly autistic candidate-for-step-brother once was asking her mother for candy recommendations. He said he wanted "something soft, that he can suck the juice out of." Her mother actually got somewhat angry and very squicked out, thinking the boy was coming on to her and he had no idea why she had such a reaction. He really did just want some chewy, syrup-infused candy, and he doesn't think about how the way he words things may be perceived by others.

My friend has a habit of saying words double at the end of a sentence e.g. "I have to get the bus-bus!" When she does this, she sounds really cute and innocent. One day we were talking about games consoles in registration and she shouted excitedly "I want to play on my wii-wii!" And we were all trying not to laugh until one of us burst out laughing and only then did she get it...

My biology teacher once said that, when he was younger, he and some geeks formed a football team (American type). Because they were all geeks, they named their team the [=NADHs=], after a molecule in glycolysis. Unfortunately, this meant that their fans would yell, "Go [=NADHs=]!" Say that out loud when no one's around.

This troper was on a field trip, and a teacher was discussing an oral assessment. Cue me saying "Oral is better. It's easier and more fun." Luckily, no one noticed.

In one memorable speech, our headteacher was announcing why leather balls would no longer be allowed on school property. The whole thing was pretty hilarious, but then she came up with this gem: "It has come to my attention that some boys have been playing with other boys' balls".

This troper's classmate was playing with a seemingly empty tube of liquid eraser. When he shook it vigorously, some of it splattered on his hand. He was so surprised, he promptly yelled, "Hey look! When I shook this thing, white stuff came out!"

A co-worker of this troper once asked him to keep an eye on her water jug. She came back ten minutes later and I asked why I had to do that, she said people always went for her jugs. Queue me cocking an eyebrow.

Hehehe, ''cocked''.

A classmate of this troper has frequent and intentional HoYay with one of his friends.It might be more than intentional. A group of us was talking about one of our members hacing a sore throat.The classmate ended up saying "I always get a sore throat when I go to REDACTED's." Cue realization.

I used to frequent a TheyMightBeGiants chat room, and at the time their latest release was ''Severe Tire Damage''. Thus, for a while it was remarkably common for people to ask each other if they had STD yet. I imagine something similar must happen more frequently among Saves The Day fans.

This one's cross country coach was giving us a speech on what he would do to win. He frequently goes off on tangents, such as, in the middle of a sentence, mentioning his wife. "I would do anything to win. I would do...I would do....my wife." *cue laughter from the entire team*

My friend told a guy that this troper was sitting beside that we'd slept together. We were roomates on the school trip. He took it the ahem other way...

This Troper says these a lot:

What if you put three on top of eachother?

I'll touch it. And you can touch mine if you like.

Who do you know who is willing?

Once at school, a classmate were reading lines out loud from a book we were doing a report on. Realizing the text could sound a ...bit different out of context (It was something like "He pulled himself out of it, and started breathing heavily" and later, a woman saying "...He's mine.")(The reader didn't even intend that), I started laughing, pointing out that it sounded a bit wrong. The rest of the group started laughing too.

Every time I try to explain to people how I beat Final Fantasy VI Advance, it always turns out this way no matter how I try to phrase it: I had Edgar deal the last blow with the Drill during the fight against in his OneWingedAngel form. Given the background during that last fight, I was also aware of a certain MemeticMutation from TengenToppaGurrenLagann despite not having watched a single episode. (Spoiler'd out in case there's someone reading Troper Tales who HASN'T beaten Final Fantasy VI.)

My sister (13) has recently been heckling my mom. She wants her ear cartilage pierced as well as her second ear hole. This wouldn't be too bad if the phrasing she kept using wasn't so perverted: "I really want my second hole done! Every time I hear this I both snicker and end up having weird thoughts.

This troper's eighth grade band teacher was attempting to get the flutes with Part 1 (the part that usually has the melody and higher notes) to play, and she announced, "I want all the high people!" Being very mature middle-schoolers, the whole class laughed. Just as things were beginning to quiet down, though, one of the flutes said, "I don't get it." We laughed harder.

Today for some reason one of my friends would slap anyone who said the word "pound cake" in front of him (it was offensive). In math class, I was describing this ordeal to a classmate, and, not wanting to be slapped, i had to weave around saying the actual word. I chose the first description that unfortunately came to mind: "The two-syllable 'P' word that you put into your mouth." It took a few seconds for me and my friend to process what I had just said, and needless to say, we both broke out in unstoppable teary-eyed laughter (while the usually stoic classmate we were talking to simply smiled). Thank God our class was already loid and unproductive, so no one else noticed. Also, he probably won't let me live this down for a while...

This troper has a slightly (read: very) dirty-minded friend. We were in science together, doing an experiment involving honey. All I said was a simple, innocent, "Mmm, honey." This had to be pointed out by my friend. Sigh.

This troper, due to having no knowledge about slang, cannot go a week without asking a classmate if something he said meant something else.

''Ooohhh'', yes. I've had that happen way too many times to count.

Me, in response to a picture of camels in the desert that our geography teacher showed us in class: "Aww, they're so cute! I like camels." I instantly started laughing and muttering, "That came out wrong," but thankfully, no one but the girl next to me (who thought my embarrassment was "adorable," to my bemusement) heard me.

In my gym class, we played lacrosse. One time one of my teammates tried to volunteer me for goalie and I was like, "I don't wanna be goalie! I'll be attacked by balls! Balls just love me!" My other teammate, who was a guy, his face said Squick all over it. The teammate who tried to volunteer me just said, "Uhh..," I yelled, "I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY!" What I meant by being attack by balls was the year before that I suffered several concussions from being hit with volleyballs. I now have a fear of balls (last one, I swear).

This summer one of the girls I was working with was taking an order of deep fried perogies to the back window and one exploded and some landed on her neck. She had a red mark where it landed and it hurt so she went to see a doctor. Dr: so what happened? friend: a perogie exploded on me. Dr: oh is that what they call it these days. *wink*

A friend of mine exclaimed - rather loudly - that the weather is making her "wet, sweaty and sticky". Granted, it was snowing/raining all day, but still...

This (female) troper's recent experience in a family-friendly discussion of Pokemon: #QUOTE# '''Brother:''' Pikachu's voice-actor was female. Does that mean Pikachu is also female? #QUOTE# '''Troper:''' They always refer to Pikachu as "he" but that doesn't mean anything. #QUOTE# '''Dad:''' How does one sex a Pokemon? #QUOTE# '''Troper:''' I guess the same way you do a chick, turn 'em upside-down and spread 'em. #QUOTE# ''Stunned silence as the exact wording sinks in'' #QUOTE# '''Dad, Brother:''' ''hysterical laughter'' #QUOTE# '''Troper:''' I meant chickens! Birds! POULTRY!!

During a field trip at a beach, this troper (and her 12 classmates - all female) returned to the bus with our heavy equipment. Our (male) tutor turned to us all and said to us: #QUOTE# '''Tutor:''' Right ladies, get onto the bus and take your kit off! (It took him a full minute to realise what he had said whilst we were all crying with laughter.)

Once, I was dicussing zombies with some friends during design class. I was talking about weaponry, and I said that wooden blunts are good for "beating off an individual" and then I realized what I said and immediately declared myself a horrible individual.

This troper really need to stop saying "No thanks, I got a headache"

When this tropers five-year-old brother came up the stairs of the playground structure with a basket ball in one hand and a bouncy ball in the other, her nine-year-old sister said "Ooh, Micah's got balls!". Only this troper and her other sister laughed.

When my wife and I were trying to conceive with predictable results she told my grandmother that "getting pregnant is a pain in the ass." Cue my dear, sweet grandmother coming back with "If that's the case, you must not be doing it right!"

At my oldest sister's rehearsal dinner for her wedding, we all did speeches for my sister and her now husband. When it was my grandmother's turn she came up and said something along the lines of "Now *sister's name* and *my brother-in-law's name* get busy all night long!" She had no idea why everyone was laughing into their soup until somebody whispered it into her ear later that night.

Lampshaded in that every time innuendo has passed by twice with the reply of "That's what she said", my friends and I effectively enter a innuendo Mexican stand-off for the following half hour.

In this tropette's chemistry class we're learning about nuclear chemistry. Let it first be stated that I sit next to two of my friends and we're all Hetalia fans. We first got our giggles when we heard about the elements Francium and Americium. Then our female teacher who looks around her early thirties or late twenties began talking about half-lifes of radioactive substances and the ones you don't want in your body. Francium has a half-life of 27.5 seconds. Our teacher noticed this and dropped this gem. ->Teacher: See, Francium has a half life of 27.5 seconds. I wouldn't mind having that inside me. ->One of my friends and I attempted to stifle our laughter and the other told us that she knew what we were thinking when she heard us laughing at the end of the period. . 0.... 0.

Although in of itself its not AccidentalInnuendo, this troper likes to trigger them among others by making every poem in Literature Class sound like one.

In Drama class, our teacher wanted everyone to act silly and try to tell us it was ok if we looked lame. But the exact wording was "You're free to suck today!" My entire table full of too-sweet-and-spazzy-to-look-perverted friends and I started laughing. Since there was only one guy at the table, one of my best friends looked at me and said "You heard her. Start sucking, Bri." Which made everyone at our table laugh louder and everyone else in the room give us 'Ew' looks.

As a Hetalia fan, half of History class becomes this. But especially "The Rape of Nanking." I keep mentally telling myself to 'stop laughing, it's not funny' but the yaoi that happens in my head whenever my teacher says those words is too funny.

In my art exam, two friends on the table across from me made a bottle of white paint explode (somehow), I hear the boy say "oh my god! It won't stop coming out!" and the girl replied "urgh, the white stuff's all over my hands; no, it's all over me!". I heard this exchange and promptly doubled over laughing. The best thing is that they didn't even realise how bad it sounded!

This troper, though a bit of a CovertPervert, made an accidental innuendo while referring to two characters from a book series she is writing. Said characters have BelligerentSexualTension (and the girl is a very much Type A Tsundere), and I was saying that "if [the girl] ever comes to rule the world, [the guy] is going to get totally screwed." Cue my best friend, who I was currently talking to, bursting out laughing, me getting it after a moment, and my LuminescentBlush and cry of, "Not in that way!!!"

While our class was discussing Cyrano de Bergerac, when the part where Cyrano is tricking the nun, my teacher says... "Cyrano was riding the nun! ... Wait!" Since most of my class is immature Hilarity Ensued.

This troper's family often uses the word "sec." "I'll be there in a sec," "Give me a sec," etc. Unfortunately, while my mom and I were getting ready for a trip, this sentence developed: "Give me a sec!" "I'll give you lots of--of time! Time!" We're trying to use "sec" less now.

My roommate went to Ecuador for a summer study abroad. She and her (female) friend tried explaining to the (Spanish speaking) bus driver that they were "bed buddies" - i.e. sharing bunk beds. He apparently gave them a knowing wink and spent the rest of the trip thinking they were a couple.

This troper has two of these, both from one art class. Looking at someone's attempt to draw a centipede (they were being deliberately lazy) and commented that he had just drawn a hairy sausage. The class laughed their heads off, and did much the same when the teacher said '...that's no reason to start DOING IT!' when talking about a Rubik's Cube.

There was also a mild one when a student asked a teacher if they could go out(side). Both were male.

And then there was the library incident. This troper's local library's fiction books are in three sections: children, teen and adult. These sections are based on how difficult to read the book would be and whether the themes would be too complicated for younger people (occasionally, 'questionable content' affects it). When this troper's mother was checking out some Terry Pratchett books ( from the adult section) for him to read, she explained to a librarian that, despite his being in high school, this troper 'really likes to read adult fiction'. Cue him trying to alert her to what she had just said and her not understanding.

Once this troper was watching a movie in Earth Science. The narrator said something along the lines of dragon balls going into a frogs mouth for it to work, and someone blurted "Well, what are you waiting for?" Cue laughter.

Yeah, right... that's what she said!

A subversion in that it was intended but coming inside from gym, Evulzboy was gathering balls, (that was accidental) and to put them in the net asked a classmate to let him "see his ballsack."