Guess what? Your sexuality has nothing to do with your personality!

Every time I come out to anyone around here, the phrase "you don't look gay" has a very high chance of being uttered. When I came out to them, my parents even thought I'd turn CampGay real fast since the "straight" façade wouldn't be needed anymore (thanks to the media, they didn't believe Straight Gays existed). Well, d'uh. Sheer luck. Nothing changed, except that I happen to have a boyfriend, instead the girlfriend they were desperately trying to get me.

This editor recalls her father describing to her a friend of his. He and their mutual friends had no idea he was gay, until one of them used the unfortunate phrase 'it hurt like buggery'. Sagely, the friend replied, 'No. Nothing hurts quite like buggery.'

Okay, I'm sorry, but this is funnier than any outing ever. It really is.

Hmm. How long has this item been here? Because one wonders what to make of the other Google results for hurts+ quite+ like+ buggery%22&btnG=Search "nothing hurts quite like buggery"...

This troper regrets to inform you that '''the above is an urban legend.''' First of all, I've heard it too many times before, and second, I can tell you from first hand experience that buggery does not hurt or feel unpleasant in any way. (Unless you forego the use of lubricant.) If it did, people (other than maybe some S&M freaks (and contrary to popular belief, not everyone in the gay community is like that)) wouldn't be doing it. So... yeah.

People are warned that if anal sex hurts, you're doing it wrong, it's dangerous; stop. Actually most S&M communities warn against using it in S&M (as in, deliberately painfully) because of the safety issue. But anyway, that's off-topic.

I've got to assume that it hurts the first time, or the first few times. Vaginal sex does, after all.

The sensation of being buggered is dull pain masked by incredible pleasure. It always hurts for a bit at the start, and it never entirely goes away. But no, we wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't enjoyable, which it is even if you have my horrifically low pain tolerance.

Yes, because no gay person would ever crack a joke. All homosexuals take their sexuality deadly serious and if anyone ''ever'' makes a joke about sex, they are straight. It makes perfect sense.

I would add to this that the fact that it's an urban legend is probably ''why'' gay guys make the joke; they've heard it before, and they associate it with the popular-culture idea that anal sex is painful, and thus, it is amusing.

Actual Gay Guy here to approve the previous two comments.

This troper's older brother is gay, and an underwear model in Italy, but he STILL had our father convinced he was straight until his death about two years ago. He had SEVERAL girlfriends in high school. And let me tell you, had a bit of a reputation around school... and still he's defiantly not camp gay by any means.

''SO'' many instances of young guys being told "innocently" by a friend or relative "You're not bringing any girlfriend, you're not gay are you?". This troper has several gay and bisexual friends to whom it happened.

This Troper was friends with a guy all through high school. Had no idea he was gay until shortly into Senior year when he explicitly stated it in a MySpace bulletin. Since then, I have no idea how I went that long without seeing the clues. Don't worry, we're still good friends.

This troper counts, even though she's quite certain it's more due to her general lack of apparent sexuality than anything. (I'm a rather effective CovertPervert.) Although there was the time her friends noticed her checking out a ''very'' lovely lady at a waterpark. Hilarity ensued.

Many of this lesbian troper's friends fit this trope, to the point where she and a guy friend are often mistaken for a straight couple.

One of my Dad's friends and co-workers is this. Took my dad over ten years to figure it out. "So when are you going to tell me you're gay?" (Panicking) "How did you know?" "You've had the same male roommate for the past 15 years. It's kinda obvious now." At my dad's work they have him and a Straight Lesbian too. Everyone knows, too. Also I'm getting Gay Christian dating banner ads.

At this troper's 10-year school reunion, she found out that a boy who had dated every single one of her friends... has now been happily partnered for years. She would love to know whether it was denial, camouflage, or if he just couldn't figure out why the numerous girlfriends didn't ever quite seem to work out.

This troper is straight gay. "You're really gay?" "No I joke about sucking cock constantly."

Not that jokes about it are out of the question.

ThisTroper recently saw a friend he hadn't saw in years, and the conversation turned to where we spend our money. He said "Well, I'm not gonna have kids, so it's not gonna matter." To which ThisTroper replied "Oh. Lack of ability or lack of desire?" to which his friend replied "Well, I'd just be surprised if he got knocked up." Leading to "Oh... Oooooooohhh."

This troper's elementary school's headmaster was a lot like this. He was a close friend of her mother since ''they'' were children and even she hadn't figured it out until he actually came out. On the other hand, her ''high school's'' headmaster was very much CampGay

This troper seemed to have been straight gay (well, straight bi) for a pretty long period. Having the girlfriend probably didn't help in that regard. Of course, now I'm (while not flaming) pretty emphatically a gay bisexual. Still, apparently it doesn't always show - my team leader at a previous workplace, despite working with me for 3 months, was quite surprised when I pointed out to him I had a boyfriend.

This troper's brother is gay, but people never. ever. ever. guess. People are in fact astonished when he says it. He also despises flamers and "fabulous" gay men, though, and desperately wishes for more StraightGay media portrayals.

This troper as well is like the aforementioned brother of the other troper.

Ditto

Especially about the lack of decent media portrayals.

This Troper and his best friend were taking part in some [[strike:witty]] immature banter when... #QUOTE#'''Friend''': You're just gay and can't handle it! #QUOTE#'''This Troper''': Actually I am bisexual and am handling it reasonably well. #QUOTE#'''Friend''': Eh?

This troper went to school with a guy who she thought at the time had a crush on a mutual (female) friend. He's now the queer officer for our university, and 100% homosexual, it turns out.

This troper plays D&D every Saturday with an... interesting group. Two gay couples, three of the people in which are StraightGay and one of which is a (self professed) screaming queen. He likes to play Dwarven Paladins.

This troper thought he was stuck in a clear-acrylic closet, but then it turns out that two of his (female) best friends were frankly surprised that he's gay all along, after he outed himself to both of them. They said he's hardly swishy, save perhaps some (very) few odd moments.

No one ever suspects this troper is gay, to her bemusement. As if saying "my other half" and shying away from names/pronouns weren't indication enough, she openly appreciates good looking lasses and never joins in when everyone's drooling over lads. What does she have to do, go around with a sandwich board? It's caused loads of embarrassing moments with doctors, employers ... too many authority figures to count. To quote them, "Oh. Riiiiight. You're gay."

Actually, I don't find saying "my (your) other half" and shying away from names/pronouns to be all that much of an indication. Why not just say "my girlfriend" (or something similar)? You don't have to advertise it, but being straight and open about it might help with the evading of embarassing moments. Not everyone is good at hints ;D.

This troper agrees. Talking about it in a completely mundane fashion forces others to do so, since it would break the conversation to make a big deal about it.

From reading this wiki, I've determined that straight people use terms like "other half" and "partner" and quite often get MistakenForGay, often to the embarrassment of the mistaker. Perhaps this has happened to everyone you know enough times that they now assume everyone who uses gender-neutral terms to be straight.

This troper has been referred to by women as the most boring gay guy they've ever met. He's still not sure whether that's a compliment or insult.

This troper has had hilarious reactions from sheltered people that can only be described as "shock and awe." It's rather bizarre, as this troper is actually slightly limp-wristed.

Possible subversion with Fading Echo: geeky (and successful) female engineering student turning out to be gay? Boring. Conservative, very traditional Southern woman who grew up with cows occasionally eating in her backyard and never missed a week of church turning out to be gay? Awkward.

This troper went to a school where the only two openly gay guys were VERY flamboyant. He had to french kiss his boyfriend for his friends to believe him. Not that I'm complaining, or anything.

This troper went to college in Cleveland where his friends mostly consisted of other gays, Wiccans, and people who generally had a decent gaydar and figured this troper's persuasion before they even knew his boyfriend. Then he moved to Phoenix and forgot that most people don't realize he's gay and often gets surprised looks when he describes past relationships in male pronouns. What's annoying though is when people say "I would have never known" like that's supposed to be a compliment.

This troper is so sick of the portrayal of gay men as fairies and lesbians as manly that she has to change the channel if a character like that appears. The word "fabulous" makes her physically cringe. If not a yaoi and yuri fangirl and gay herself, people would probably think she was homophobic. She is not "out and proud." She is "out and utterly indifferent." Meh.

High five.

THANK YOU! I hate it too. Ever since Will & Grace every single woman who knows that I'm gay seems to think that I want to be her friggin' clutch purse or something. Ugh, and they treat me like I'm in a game of concentration, "Hmmm, this one's gay and...so is this one! They'll be great together!" THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS! Does he like books? How about movies? Does he know all 493 pokemon, all the words to "Landslide"? Does he like long walks on the beach, sunsets, MURDERING PEOPLE? You are not a one-woman Match.com! STOP IT!

Er... ''murdering people''?

Now now, let's not judge. Bloodthirsty psychos need love too.

Seconded. But we will agree to disagree on the murdering people part.

It's the androgynous/{{Bifauxnen}} type lesbians that this troper doesn't get. Exactly how does looking like a 12-year-old emo boy help you get girls who are attracted to other girls? Even with {{Butch Lesbian}}s, you can usually tell they're female.

Thank. You. This Troper, though female, is very similar; I'm a geek. I love Pokemon, computers, fantasy, art, literature... I like to draw, play video games, explore and be immersed in nature... I want to become a veterinarian when I'm older... oh, and I just happen to be bisexual. It's not like it's a defining feature of me or anything; I just happen to be attracted to women as well as (or more than, with the way I am sometimes) men. Now, just because it's human and alive, doesn't mean I'm going to go for it just because I have the capability to. Do they have similar interests, are they intelligent, kind, do they like being around animals...? So many other factors to consider.

This troper is like this, and was quite irritated when he first heard the term "straight acting". I'm just "me acting".

When this troper came out to his mother, one of her (tongue-in-cheek) comments was, "You can't be gay; you don't dress well enough!" This troper still thinks she's disappointed that coming out didn't get him to dress nicer.

I heard this from my mom, too!

This troper sort of both subverts and upholds this trope; I'm not stereotypically feminine and don't identify with any feminine personality traits, but I have some rather flamboyant, prissy mannerisms that are mostly unintentional. But this probably has less to do with my sexuality and more to do with the fact that I've always been a grandma's boy.

Are you me?

This troper is confused: are you male or female? Or trans? Or both? My head hurts...

I'd estimate the part about a "grandma's boy" should indicate that the above troper is probably male.

This troper is lesbian. No one seems to get it. Apparently she is not "lesbian" enough. Except for the two people she's told. Who don't really count, since they knew before she did.

This troper is the oppiste of this. She openly likes yaoi, supports gay rights and the legalization of gay marrige, tends to wear her brother's clothes, is genraly stereotypically lesbain, and she's NOT. Stating this leads to: "Are you sure?" "Yes!!" "Hmm, wierd." NOT ALL MEDIA TELLS YOU IS TRUE, PEOPLE!

This troper used to be sometimes spotted by people with a gaydar but, now that's he's older, more and more people assume he is completely straight and a ladies' man since women are drawn to him despite his rather plain and casual clothing style. And even when he states the truth most people (especially women) tell him : "Nah you can't be gay. You're not camp enough. I'm sure you're bi or something!"...

My friend said the same thing to me recently. It made me facepalm.

Actual conversation: Friend: I could hook you up with her. Me: Gay. Friend: Oh, yeah. It's pretty bad when people who have known you for fifteen+ years think of you as being straight, despite coming out to them.

I once roomed with a dude for two weeks. If he hadn't told me he was bi beforehand I would never have guessed. Thing is, he wasn't so much StraightGay as SocialistJackSparrowGay.

I don't fall into this trope, but I don't know where else to put this, because it's so odd. I'm a girl who wears her hair short and her clothing loose. I was on the wrestling team for three years, and it wasn't because I wanted to roll around with guys. I don't talk about guys, ever. I'm the secretary of our Gay Straight Alliance, and I went to Pride Prom, and did Day of Silence. And STILL, when I tell them, people act like me being a lesbian is the WEIRDEST THING IN THE WORLD. Maybe I fit the stereotype TOO well?

This troper is so StraightGay that he has an UnwantedHarem of heterosexual {{Fan Girl}}s...who refuse to believe he is actually gay, and just likes BoysLove to be "sensitive". However, when women come up to him expecting a CampGay, he's dismissed as a complete bastard who's lying about his sexuality to get into women's pants. Damn his YuriFanboy-ness...

This Troper gets that as well. Except for the fangirls refusing to believe I'm gay.

{{Gecko}} was once talking to a casual male friend, when he mentioned their other friends. #QUOTE#'''Friend:''' I can talk to you about nerdy stuff, and to [name] about gay stuff that you straight people wouldn't get. #QUOTE#'''{{Gecko}}:''' ...Wait, you're gay?

Our other friends showed up and said that they'd known for at least a year, and asked what rock had this troper had been hiding under.

This Troper's mom (straight, obviously) has an identical twin sister who is almost indistinguishable from her by anything except the fact that said twin sister is lesbian.

Wait, why is it obvious that your mom is straight?

Perhaps because the first troper confuses cultural preconceptions with epistemological self-evidence?

Maybe cos she has a KID? Food for thought, guys.

Gay people have children too. Sometimes the old-fashioned way at that.

There are NoBisexuals

Some friends of mine are perhaps the ultimate example of this: they're married, and a really cute couple. They have three kids. He adamantly identifies as gay. To hear Adam tell it Stephanie is the only woman he's ever been remotely attracted to, and I remember him having a lot of did-I-come-out-for-nothing angst when he started to like her. But Steph first got him to watch "Firefly" by promising him that it was full of hot guys, and their oldest kid's godfather is one of Adam's first boyfriends. Their conversations about whether Nathan Fillion is hotter as Malcolm Reynolds or Richard Castle are strangely adorable, as are the things they plan to teach the "gay-positive nerd-babies" they're raising.

This troper fits perfectly, he's manlier than all of his friends in every aspect but semi-jokingly lists his favorite food as dick.

This troper was, during her teenage years, approached by her mother to have a discussion about how "I think you and your friend X are getting awfully close, and..." "Oh, X? Don't worry Mom, he's gay." "What?" "Queer as a three-dollar bill, that boy. What's for supper?"

This editor would fit, although not exactly. I'm actually more of Straight ''Bi''.

As is this troper, if she could settle on being either bi or a lesbian (I'd say I'm about a 5 on the Kinsey Scale). She's gone out with two boys before, but had a horrible time with both of them, due to their Mommy issues. Then along comes my current girlfriend... I stick with StraightGay because I'm neither butch at all nor a LipstickLesbian. I'm just your average nerdy girl who just so happens to have a girlfriend.

Oh my god. You just described me! Err... expect for the... dating part ._.

This troper is ''asexual'', but shows no signs of being asexual. Then again, I also show no signs of being sexual.

Isn't asexual just... not being sexual? I'm confused. How can you not be asexual and not be sexual at the same time >_>?

Posts like this are why this troper scratches his head when people talk about being asexual. If you're not showing signs of being asexual, aren't you... sexual? They're kindof mutually exclusive things.

I'm going to take a stab at deciphering this and guess that 'shows no signs of being asexual' means 'he or she doesn't act like a robot made by Vulcans'. This is, of course, an ''incredibly'' bizarre definition of 'signs of being asexual', but stereotypes don't exist to be factual.

But if he were made by Vulcans, he wouldn't be asexual. He would be Once Every Seven Years MateOrDie Sexual.

Next stab; like most posts here, the Troper is saying that they don't fall into some stereotypical pit of asexuality. Although we obviously have some confusion about this. They act like a human being, interact with human beings, and are a little put on that everybody expects them to be sexual beings. I don't think it really fits in this trope... but close enough for TroperTales, anyway.

That..And that my curiosity of sex can be mistaken for lesbian behavior. Oh, and asexuality is simply just the lack of sexual attraction to anything.

Well, this tropette is asexual, and she's also a YaoiFangirl. Don't even ASK how that one works.

I'm tired of getting Straight As.

This Troper is kinda StraightGay (although straight bi is probably more appropriate). He's had a boyfriend for a year now, and yet for some reason everyone asks him how many girlfriends he has when they see him. About the only sign is that he refuses to look at Playboy or other such magazines with naked or half-naked women plastered all over it. This is more of a dislike for overly-attractive (as in supermodel fake) women than it is anything else.

Did I post on here without me knowing? This Troper is like that to a tee, apart from having a boyfriend.

This Troper is an open Straight Gay, and also the one with the deepest voice in his entire group of (straight) male friends. It's not uncommon for us to joke about how I'm the manliest of the group and how one of our lighter voiced friends is actually the gay one.

This troper knew a guy for years at school and never suspected he was gay, only finding out years afterward when he saw him again, asked him how he was doing: "Oh good, after school I came out as gay ...". Of course I wasn't surprised no-one suspected since he wasn't that big and would not have surivived my seriously homophobic old boys school if anyone had.

This troper is a half-Russian, half-Irish American who grew up in a working-class factory city an hour outside of NYC. (And is about how you'd expect with a pedigree like that. He even used to be a skinhead.) His boyfriend, on the other hand, is a French Canadian erotic photographer. And also pretty much the first gay guy he ever met. The first few months of their relationship was all, "Hey, so you like fashion, huh? And musicals? Man, I had no idea gay people were like that in like, real life. I thought that was just a thing straight folks made up ... Shit, I don't got to start liking all that stuff now too, do I?" (Also, probably the worst argument they've ever had was whether or not this troper's favorite movie was ''life-changing and brilliant and true'' or offensive.)

This troper has probably one of the worst senses of fashion in the world, is one of those people who could dissect their favourite video game series in detail, and seems to attract the attention of quite a few of his sister's coworkers. He's had a stable boyfriend (well, now fiancé. Living in Canada has perks.) for about seven years now. He also seems to break gaydar, as no one particularly seems able to identify him as such even if they can with anyone else they've ever met.

This Troper, who is actually more bisexual, seems to be such a clashing of personality traits that she flies under the gaydar until she decides to come out (usually suddenly and on a whim). She's quiet, somewhat shy, very germophobic and occasionally almost motherly towards her friends, but that's the extent of her feminine side. On the other side, she's also never been seen in a skirt since the fifth grade, can't keep her room clean to save her life, avoids makeup like the plague, loves pervy jokes, and actually relates to guys better than girls most of the time. The end result is reactions like "Wow, ''you''? I didn't expect ''you'' of all people..." Of course, if they knew what some of my favorite anime are, they would have been less surprised.

This bisexual male troper usually aims for this when hanging out with lads, but goes a bit... swishy around gay guys or girls he's not romantically interested in. This led to some confusion for all parties involved.

My best male friend and roommate is this to a T. He works construction, hunts, fishes, and loves football. All thing this nerdy troper does not. Through highschool only 3 people knew. When he does bring over people to the house who don't know and go "No seriously" he offers to show them his porn collection if they really think he's straight.

This Troper has what he likes to call a Gaydar Negation Aura, whereby he is magically freed from constant harems of Yaoi Fangirls. Unfortunately, this also applies toward other men. Probably has something to do with the fact that he's a relatively strong free-market libertarian, wants to be a history professor, and often comments distastefully on his opinion towards those gays overrepresented in the media. His only 'girly' hobbies are a love of cooking and baking, along with a minor interest in interior decoration. You also might notice some sudden, but subtle interest whenever people start talking about Link, that ridiculously attractive bishie elf that he is.

Of all the gay/bi/lesbian people This (straight male) Troper knows, only one is any kinda of "Flame", and that is more because she wanted to shock her Conservative Christian parents, who in a twist of irony to her, were upset that she came out on Facebook before coming out to them. In a form of WriteWhoYouKnow, this troper has written at least one main character that is straight bi and the ChasteHero. Because of this, only one person guessed that the character was not really straight, and only then, he was kind of joking because the character was not paired with anyone and had long hair (which has nothing to do with his sexuality and everything to do with the fact that ThisTroper doesn't like short hair on anyone.).

CalebTheTimeTraveler here Identifies as gay, but pretty much only if you ask, which practically no one does. When he told his mother he was gay, he was outright offended she didn't believe him. He tries to somewhat avoid the subject, but being the comedian he is, likes to joke about it sometimes, but still, he pretty much has to hint pretty hard at it for people to get it. Which is odd, because though he does Identify as gay, he's probably more bisexual, but feels the term somewhat takes away from the meaning since practically every girl in his old high school used it more often to describe themselves than "girl", but also is more into men, but miles. Still, despite this, he's never dated a woman in front of his friends, and has in fact brought boy friends around them, and they seem to pretty much seem to think he's just another friend, despite Caleb doing all but make out with him in front of them. Caleb also feels his unnatural love for the Sailor Moon series should be more of a hint, but also thinks his massive Gundam MSIA collection overshadows it. What can ya do?

You know, it's okay to refer to yourself as 'I'. We all believe you when you say your name is Caleb.

Speak for yourself. I know I saw a Spy walk in here just now...

This troper has nothing that would mark his as gay other than his long and well-kept hair, which has gotten so long that it makes him long more androgynous than flamboyant, anyways. So many of my friends have told me that they never would have suspected that I was gay that I started wearing rainbow paraphernalia just so I wouldn't have to come out so frequently, as well as to show people that not all of us are CampGay. Here's a specific story to illustrate how much I fit this trope: I worked with a woman for four years before the following incident happened. One day, I gave an overly technical answer to a very simply question from her, and she responded, "We need to get you a girlfriend." (For the record, I am a male.) It wasn't worth it to come out to her, since I never shared details of my personal life with her, so I just let it go. The next week, I heard her tell a story about a guy she knew was gay and about how he needed to just come out and admit it, and after telling other stories about guys she knew was gay long before other people know, she started bragging about how good her gaydar was. I could only sit back and chuckle quietly to myself as I listened to this.

This troper's uncle has been with his partner since before I was born. Even so, I had to be told by my mother that they were gay because I couldn't figure it out for myself. Now that I know the stereotypes associated with gay men, I can safely say he doesn't fit any of them. His partner however fits some of them.

This Tiawanese-American Yaoi Fangirl Tropette was visiting Rome, and there were two men being EXTREMELY affectionate to one another in the Coliseum. (first person) I thought they were BROTHERS! My mom had to TELL me that they were {{Yaoi Guys}} when I was bitching about their not getting out of my way when I was trying to take a picture. *Sigh*

I found out one of my brothers was gay when I asked him a hypothetical question containing the phrase "if you were gay". Yeah. The fact that he's never had a girlfriend would have been a clue, if he weren't nearly as much of a nerd as I am (but on different subjects – he is ironically more of a language nerd than me). He doesn't like {{Camp Gay}}s, and was annoyed when one of his friends came out and immediately started mincing.

This troper was having a discussion about this sort of thing with his girlfriend. She mentioned a mutual friend, to which I responded "Oh, yeah." Before I could continue with "He could pass for gay," she responded with "He could pass for straight."

This Troper has had people forget he's gay, and one of the favorite jokes among his friendcrew is that he's the manliest one in the group (of otherwise all straight males, as this troper is the Token Gay). Thing is? It's funny because it's true.

My older brother MAY be StraightGay. He's a HandsomeDevil, and always has girls after him, but he isn't interested in them at all. AND he's taken his best friend to the past several school dances. Like, ''taken'' his friend, not just going stag. He's told me on several occasions that he finds certain men attractive. I might believe he's bisexual, but there's no way in hell he's just plain ol' straight.

This troper, to the point he (accidentally,mostly) flirts with girls.

This troper is perceived as what can best be called "lesbian pansexual" (dresses masculine-ly, doesn't blab about her boyfriend all the time, short hair, no makeup, etc). However, it is totally true with people who have known her for ages -- when she came out to one friend, said friend replied that she never guessed. And then I came out to a small group and they were surprised. Though, now, it's more likely for friends to notice 'cause I like talking about hot women.

This Troper is a slight subversion: most of his friends comment that I seem perfectly straight to everybody, but once they find out they can't seem to figure out how I duped them in the first place.

The way I see it, most straight people simply take for granted that everyone is straight until proven otherwise, unless the gay person in question is clearly a walking stereotype. It's the same way with me. No one ever sees the gay in me, but once I tell them, they can't unsee it.

This Troper is regularly checked out at bars by women before any of his straight friends. More amusingly, he was once wandering around the mall with two of his straight friends. The two of them were mistaken for a gay couple, and he was assumed to be the straight guy in the trio.

This Troper was having lunch with a friend who was talking about how she was planning on going shopping with her Gay Best Friend. #QUOTE#'''Troper''': Yeah, there were a couple of girls in high school who tried to turn me into their Gay Best Friend. They only stopped when they realized I knew nothing about fashion. #QUOTE#'''Friend''': Well, yeah. It only works if your Gay Best Friend is gay. #QUOTE#'''Troper''':... I am gay. #QUOTE#'''Friend''': Daaaaamn you're sneaky.

This Troper. Several of my friends refuse to believe, to this day, that I have absolutely no interest in women. It probably also doesn't help that almost every single article of casual clothing I own has the John Deere logo. And I live in the suburbs.

One comment made that I remember vividly was: "So...no girls would date you and you moved on to guys?" Needless to say, I am no longer on speaking terms with that person. But yeah, otherwise, I dont really bother telling people unless they ask. *shrugs* It's none of their business.

This troper loves beer, football, video games, and sex with other men. I've caught a lot of people off-guard with my refusal to talk about fashion, Lady Gaga, use excessive hair products, or otherwise act like a screaming queen. My boyfriend claims he dating "a straight man with a cock fetish".

Seconded, except for having a boyfriend.

This troper is a partial subversion. He's bi (likes girls more though),but everyone he meets assumes he's gay, which is funny, because aside to liking flowers and Lady GaGa, he has no gay manerisms at all (besides sucking cock).

I am otherwise so straight that my parents never even thought about the possibility that their child was gay until I came out. I can't do camp at all well and flaming gays get on my nerves. The problem with this is that no-one else realises I'm not as straight as I look unless I tell them.

My girlfriend and I are both this. Which is useful, as she's closeted, which closets me as well (can I use that as a verb?), at least in public. My best friend looked like I slapped her in the face with a damp fish when I told her.

This bisexual troper surprised a lot of her friends when she came out. Not because she's really femme (I'd probably be what Ellen [=DeGeneres=] means when she talks about "chapstick lesbians") but because she was really boy-crazy in high school. None of her friends suspected for a second that she might like girls, too!

From the Exaggerated part of the PlayingWith page: "Bob is a rather chauvinist pig who is also gay with no camps mannerism, he even claims that women and camp gays are inferior." This troper had a gay male friend who was EXACTLY like that. The chauvinism is a big part of the reason we are no longer friends (along with him probably being a hebephile).

This Troper's uncle is most definitely this trope - ex-army, former miner, rugby-loving, typical Aussie tradie man... and gay. He came out to his family at the age of 46 - my mother and I were rather surprised, but love him unconditionally and were thrilled that he has found someone he loves (turned out the "best mate" that he bought to visit a couple of times has now been his boyfriend for the better part of a decade). I will never, ever forget what her elderly grandmother said to myself and my mother immediately after he came out to her: "Well... I always knew, but how do you tell an 11 year old boy you think he's gay?".

This Troper was sitting with his friend one day discussing how a lot of our mutual friends seem to have come out as gay or bi lately, leading the friend to list out the remaining straight people we know. He started the list with me. I had to correct him.

This troper's friend was outted through his facebook-info where his relationship status was marked as engaged TO A MAN! Needless to say, this came to a shock to just about everyone.

This troper tends to have this trope play more on his fictional ''BigBrother'' series. Perhaps the best example was one named Tyler, who was a professional cleaner (ie, cleaning up after crime scenes or violent suicides) and just said he was gay when there was a picture of him hugging his boyfriend in his head of household room. Another (From the same season/series) was a lesbian and half the cast didn't guess she was gay until finale. From a previous game, another dude was this as well, and he figured that two guys who worked together in the first game probably could be ''interpreted'' as this but both had girlfriends outside the game.

My aunt is not very butch nor very feminine, and is pretty much just a normal woman who just happens to like other women. She has a lot of fun with this trope - most people don't know she's gay until she casually mentions her wife, and is met by a lot of "Wait, you're gay?"'s. Or they see her with her wife at a gay pride parade.

I'm a lesbian, and I'm not butch at all, but then again, I'm not really a girly-girl, so...

This troper epitomises thegay stereotype, he is into musical theatre, limp-wristed, has effeminate mannerism and speech (no lisp though), but people always think he is bi. Some of this troper's friends say that this is because he's never proven that he's gay (what do they want me to do, have an orgy in-front of them), this troper thinks it's be cause he has never been in any kind of long-term relationship (he's shy-ish). Anyway, this troper does have a friends who, if it weren't how he's always talking about guys (and the fact that he came-out to this troper); This troper would have never guessed that he were gay, then again this troper's gaydar has not been installed yet.

this troper is a kind of odd example. Make no mistake about it, I am gay. I listen to metal and play video games, and have no gay mannerisms. But some people (mostly people over the internet) say I have a gay voice. I also say "Oh my" a lot.

I respect homosexuals like this. It's less about being "straight gay" and more "being normal guys who just are gay". It's far less of a stereotypical act and more of just a guy being who he is. I find the "queer fairies" to just be an offensive stereotype holding back gay rights. It's clear as day more people would respect homosexuals and not see it as a negative thing if so many weren't hell bent on being "different" and ostracizing themselves.

You're thinking of a different trope. Personally, I also find gay stereotypes offensive, and it pisses me off that so many people believe them, but I don't dislike gay people that match the gay stereotype, because chances are, they're also just being themselves. I just wish people would realize that stereotypical gays do NOT represent the majorety of gay people...

ROCK ON!! same here.

As a rather effeminate gay man, I find this comment really offensive. People have pegged me as gay since before I even knew what the word meant. I still sometimes feel embarrassed when I see or hear a recording of my "gay walk" or "gay voice." It's not an act. I wasn't interested in being "different." I certainly wouldn't have chosen to adopt mannerisms that I was ashamed of for so long. People should be free to be who they are, not who you think they should be.

That's what I meant by my "they're just being themselves" comment (second post).

Yeah, my problem was specifically with the original post. Sorry I didn't make that clear! :)

I often joke that one of my close friends broke my gaydar by coming out. Up until then, I was really good at picking up on the little hints, sometimes even while the person him/herself was in denial. Aside from never having had a girlfriend, my friend gave off exactly zero hints that he was in any way gay. We only found out because another friend of ours tried setting him and me up behind our backs, forcing him to come out to avoid hurting anyone's feelings. (Though for the record, I had just as little interest in him, just not for the same reason.)

Most people I know don't know I'm gay. I don't hide it, persay, but I don't flaunt it. Medium build, deep voice, slightly blunt. I don't really have any of the gay attributes. Most of my friends didn't know until I came out, well, some might have suspected, but only after I called a few guys hot. My one friend just assumed I was kidding, until I explicitly told her. Her reaction? "I would never have guessed. You don't act gay!" Oddly enough, as a young kid (before school), I apparently exibited many gay attributes, to the point where my mom quipped that I would either be "a guy who likes to wear a lot of smelly things and dresses nice", or "gay". Well, she got one right.

What is supposed to be so "wrong" with StraightGay? It's how most gay people should be acting if they want acceptance. The basic concept is that StraightGay is a person who is homosexual who doesn't act "camp" and instead is like a normal random human being who just likes same sex relationships. Which is EXACTLY what homosexual is supposed to be. CampGay is the problem and is why homosexual isn't being more accepted. Because its basically taking the worst/exaggerated/vocal part of a community and saying "everyone is supposed to be like this". There is no rational explanation for "CampGay" as being homosexual does not force you to dress like the opposite sex, talk with a lisp, shave your head or skip around with limp hands. That is the completely the person acting up (CampGay). Every homosexual should strive to be StraightGay because then they would be more accepted by others for just being "people that like the same sex" (instead of "those people who act silly, talk funny, dress weird and want to be seen as equal by reinforcing the stereotype of being abnormal"). The quicker "gay pride" and "CampGay" disappears, the quicker society can move forward and be more accepting of homosexuality. Until then, those parades and that behavior WILL cause people to more often dislike homosexuals because they are just acting instead of being normal everyday people with different sexual interests.

For the part about camp gays, I'll just say this: that's almost like saying "I'm ok with black people, but only if they show absolutely no traces of black culture!" As for the part about gay pride: One thing a lot of people don't seem to realize about gay pride parades is that they're just that: ''Pardades.'' Do the people who attend Macy's Day Parade walk around in mascot suits and marching band attire for their everyday clothing? And another thing, those over-the-top CampGay and ButchLesbian floats you see in gay pride parades are ''ironic.'' In closing, gay pride is quite simply not being ashamed of being homosexual. I don't see anything wrong with that.

Regarding that, I have a honest question about it. I could have used the suddenly sexuality troper tales but there is none, and I don´t think this would work on the forum, so... how does one know if he is straight or straight gay? I´m in my mid twenties and a virgin, and despite having always been attracted to women, I recently started getting paranoid about my sexuality for no given reason. I am NOT homophobic, it´s just that the thought of ME being gay is unpleasant to say the least, just like the gay thoughts my mind bombs me with, yet I can´t seem to be able to stop thinking about it at all. And it´s getting to the point of Nightmare Fuel in that I have suffered anxiety attacks because of this. What scares me is not just the doubts, but the fact that, according to society stereotypes, apparently, suddenly turning gay even after having slept with countless women seems to be perfectly possible, while reverting back to straight is impossible. What does this have to do with this page? The fact that I might be a straight gay without knowing it. I need advice from some gay fellows because it´s seriously affecting my daily life, like, you know, I´m walking down the streets and as soon as I catch myself staring at a chick, my mind starts the doubts like "was I looking because I like women or just to lie to myself?" and then the shitstorm of anxiety and bad thoughts starts. Heck, I can´t even do mundane things like spend weekends with my friends playing videogames because I have extreme fears of getting a boner near them and I can´t even look at them in the face without panicking. I need help but psychiatrists are expensive and I don´t quite trust them...

Gay fellow here. Judging solely from personal experience, your concerns are probably unfounded. I realized I was gay, frankly, when I finally became consciously aware that I was turned on by the idea of going to town on a guy; you seem to be preoccupied by the idea of being gay rather than any specific thoughts of a randier nature, which sounds like obsessive-compulsive thinking more than anything else that comes to my mind. A psychiatrist may be a good idea (?).

This sounds kind of like what you're dealing with: http://www.brainphysics.com/yourenotgay.php Hope it helps, and that you're able to figure things out.

It´s me again, and that article describes my situation word by word: the fear, not being able to stop your mind from bombing you, continously revising everything about oneself like my memories and how I act so that I keep finding and countering evidences, etc. It may be in fact HOCD as that page says, and that´s something, so thanks to you two. By the way, is there a way to talk to someone here? I don´t want to turn this page into a chat and I have a few more questions.

This trope describes me perfectly as well - regular person, no HardGay or CampGay leanings, but finding his gaze always going towards the guys.

This troper had a good friend in college who she ended up sharing in an apartment with, and who also happened to be Straight Gay. Enough so, apparently, that her conservative grandmother was quite concerned that she was rooming with a ''MAN''. When her grandmother tried to lecture her about the inappropriateness of such an arrangement, the following slightly-awkward conversation took place: #QUOTE#Troper: Really, you have nothing to worry about... #QUOTE#Grandmother: But he might try something. #QUOTE#Troper: Trust me, he won't try ''anything''. #QUOTE#Grandmother: Why? Because he's already got a girlfriend? #QUOTE#Troper: Uh, no. Because he's gay. #QUOTE#Grandmother: Oh. ({{Beat}}, then cheerful) Well, that's okay then.

I think this trope fits me. I'm a mostly gay(long story)guy who doesn't really fit any gay stereotypes. The only thing really would be that I like clothes alot. I also like animes, comics, movies and books. I do really well at school and I guess I'm kinda of a well dressed geek. I also have an unwanted harem of sorts and have had multiple girls crush on me, to my amusement.

This fits me to a T, especially the clothes part. I mostly find the crushes uncomfortable (though they can also be flattering).

This Troper, though actually bisexual, leans more towards other girls. However, I definitely don't look like a ButchLesbian, and I don't really fit {{LipstickLesbian}}. Really, I seem like any other person, just geeky, and actually near the top of my class.

The greatest joy this troper had in outing himself to friends was discovering just how many gaydars he flew under.

This troper is pretty much this, as is her girlfriend when she isn't being camp.

This troper is evidently "straight gay". Upon coming out to his close friends he was told "but you don't act gay." (Fail)