The fear of screwing up a wonderful friendship by confessing one's feelings (or is that just me?).

Nah, me too. Seen too many friendships fall apart by love confessions to risk one myself.

Take all the time you need, and tell your friend that you value the friendship, before the more intimate relationship, first and foremost.

That's what I think too. It gets really wacky if you have an antisocial personality, both sides are love-shy AND the only reason you can see each other is exactly because the other one is in college. I shit you not, prayers really come in handy; just when you are about to lose all hope, you get a good sign and everything starts over and over and over... It is killing me.

Also happened to me. The fear of destroying a deep friendship made me not spit it out for some years. Sometimes, the fears come true, as it happened to this troper.

But sometimes they don't.

And sometimes you don't even lose the friendship. I am still good friends with both the man I used to like very much and his wife. Go for it. You don't want to look back in twenty years and say "What if?"

Couldn't agree more. I told the guy I liked about my feelings, and though for various reasons I didn't receive the answer I had hoped for, we have remained friends.

This troper likes his closest (out of very few) female friend, and doesn't want to ruin it. She's with another guy and even said it'd weird for her that a close friend would suddenly ''do'' like her. He doesn't know if he should tell her even if he doesn't intend to be in a relationship

Live fearlessly, fellow tropers.

Happened to this troper. But I don't regret it one bit. Wish it had turned out differently, but I would probably have blown up otherwise.

With this troper, it's a little bit of the above and being afraid of rejection. I don't feel like I would be nervous expressing my feelings, I just feel like I'd have a hard time getting it out.

It's especially bad if you have a crush on a same-gender friend who ''might'' be cool with it but you don't want to risk it. It .

Same here; but the guy this troper loves already knows that this troper is gay, but... there's still a problem.

No, not just you. What's worse is that my friend has a tendency to avoid people who confess to her for about a few months in an effort to avoid the ensuing awkwardness, and I'm not even sure if she swings my way.

This troper had a tale recently where he'd been in love with a girl for over 2 years. We'd been in constant contact but as far as I'd known, she had no feelings for me, that she'd expressed anyway. Anyway, as I'd been working up the courage and was probably gonna confess to her, i'd recieved news from her thats she's officially dating someone else i knew. After a few days of depression and thoughts no healthy person should probably have, things went back to how they were. A few months later I snapped and just blurted it out to her. I cried for a little bit and heard her response. She'd felt the same way about me, or at least she said, i didn't know if she was just making me feel better or if she was serious. Either way, it was a load off my chest at least. She wondered if we could still be friends, I said of course, and to this day we're just friends... as much as it pains me to say, i can't help but feel a little bit bitter about the whole thing... If i'd only asked a little sooner... I should stop now, my thoughts are turning to bad things.

This troper had a girlfriend who dumped me through an email. I went to confront her about it, having this speech lined up saying how much she meant to me and asking why she didn't want to see me, when she started yelling at me to leave her alone. We were in public and all eyes were on me so I faltered, since I panic when I'm in the spotlight, barely able to get a sentence out, and then she left. I found out later from a mutual friend that apparently if I had managed to just say a little of the first part, even a simple "I love you" she would have taken me back. Still wondering about what could have been.

This troper is of the opinion that if she was spineless and harsh enough to dump you through an ''email'' and then yell at you to leave her alone before you can even get a word out, you're probably better off with what is than what could have been.

This troper would have to agree, life's too short to deal with psychos.

This troper is going through a particularly bad case of this right now. Mostly because she hardly ever sees or talks to her (assumed) UnrequitedLove.

This troper is the same, although with her it's both that and the fact that due to her {{Tsundere}} way of expressing her feelings, said UnrequitedLove found her annoying for a long while back. Now that they're back to being not-so-close friends, she is this due to not wanting to lose that friendship too. Seeing that he's graduating this year, though, she's trying to change this. (You'd think that stalking him for nearly a year would be easier than just telling him outright...)

Don't worry, I'm having the same issue. Except I'm a dude.

This troper, though she plans on telling the object of her affection the day before winter break, and then running away like a scared little rabbit before he can (possibly) reject me. I'm of the opinion that if he likes me, he can contact me regardless. Also, my little sister once referred to this trope as, "I love you, but I'm not telling you!" after seeing an episode of AvengersEarthsMightiestHeroes.

I'm doing the same thing. Only I'm moving to another continent, so I guess I'm taking running away to a whole new level...

Played with by this troper and his girlfriend, who, thanks to his going away to college in another state, are keeping up a LongDistanceRelationship. Played straight in that neither he nor his girlfriend were able to Spit It Out before he had to leave, and now deliberately invoked in that they're waiting until they can see each other in person again before they do.

This troper managed to finally spit out her feelings to her crush... and now proceeds to revert back to her Cannot Spit it Out routine.

EVERY relationship this troper could have been in did not start because I could not get the words out. The irony? I'm keen on acting, so I should be able to control this easily. I've recently found ways around this (namely, food), but they are hardly the most effective ways...

This Troper has been in love with a lot of girls and I'm pretty sure about half of them didn't even notice it...

I'm going to try and avert this trope sometime this week, but I've been playing it straight for years now.

Eh, the same here, but not for that long. Half of all my friends know this, and I'm probably going to have to get someone to come help me spit it out, but it might happen.

It took this troper three straight weeks before he tested his friend to see if he could trust her (said test being breaking down in front of her, something that he's never done to anyone except one other person), and another two before he could tell her that he loves her.

Me, to ridiculous lengths. The fact that it seems I've waited too long to the point where she's no longer single didn't help.

(Non-romantic, geeky example) This Troper is in a circle of friends who want to do a cosplay involving the character I {{fangirl}} over. I kind of want to cosplay said character myself, but the leader in my group of friends thinks that I don't, thanks to my Tsundere nature towards the leader, and I have too much pride to come clean and actually admit that I want to.

I did manage to spit it out, sadly it didn't go the way I wanted it to, mainly because she about 20,000 leagues above me.

She's in high Earth orbit?

No, she's on land. He's just TwentyThousandLeaguesUnderTheSea.I know that the title doesn't refer to depth.

This doesn't happen to me, though I'm sure it will, but everyone around me. It drives me fricking INSANE, so I will often ''make'' people spit it out, because I know that the only reason they won't is because of a primitive defense mechanism (I am a psychologist).

This Troper gets this oh, so very much. It really hurts me to hold it in, but I don't want to ruin any friendships by letting my true feelings show.

This troper finally confessed that she had "very strong feelings" for one of her (straight) best friends about six months ago. She found herself unable to say "I've been madly in love with you for like three years now."

This troper CannotSpitItOut to the girl I've been crazy about for three years, not to my parents or my family, or indeed to anyone I know. So, I'm going to spit it out where I don't know anyone: Jane, I love you.

The troper below is curious how this one turned out.

This troper has a carbon copy of this story, except that it's just one year and a half. So I too spit it out where I don't know anyone: Sara, I love you.

How did either of these turn out?

This troper is also curious.

Original troper here with an update! After the bell rang on the last day of the school year (because if she said no, I'd have three months for the awkwardness to go away), I stopped her in the hallway and spat it out. Here's her response, word for word: #QUOTE# "Aww, thank you! Um, I guess we should hang out sometime!"

Hopefully, it's a start. My only question is, what do I do now? I never really thought of possible responses between "I thought you'd never say it!" and complete rejection.

Well it's an excellent start! Um... now you woo her?

I've always been sort of socially awkward, and the closest thing I've had to a girlfriend lasted less than 24 hours. Given that I've no idea how one is supposed to 'woo' someone, easier said than done.

First reply troper here (I had to make an account for this): so, I actually got around telling her (a month and a half ago). Problem: she freaked out. Now it's a RaceAgainstTheClock, the school year is ending in weeks and I have to tell her what she really means to me.

Troper below again (though not the same account; also, above reply caused MindScrew). I did literally almost the exact same thing on my crush (not the same one; she was getting off the bus). I said "! .... love ya." She goes to get off, it hits her, she ''gives a thumbs-up'' and steps off. Unsure what that meant, I realized I still get to see her one more time at graduation. Neither of us brings it up. Maybe I didn't make myself clear?... we're still talking over FB but eh. Also caused a semi-BrickJoke incident when I found out one of my best friends was dating a girl with the same first name and I didn't find out it was somebody else until the next day. That certainly played havoc with my feelings...

MindScrew-reply troper here: oops sorry, what an embarrasing word slip, I originally meant the second reply instead. I apologize. Anyway, she actually sent me an e-mail a few days ago... This is not going anywhere :/

RunningGag-reply troper again: I can commiserate. Trying to drop hints (read: spit it out in somewhat ambiguous terms) but she seems to be the "all-love-is-platonic" type (someone YKTTW that). And I know dropping anvils will scare her off... MindScrew troper, YouAreNotAlone.

This male troper (sort of a DoggedNiceGuy who has had this problem for I-don't-know-how-long) thinks there should be a support group for people like us. I might be about to subvert this, but I have fears...

One, fear of rejection. Everyone has some of this, of course, and I know it can't be as bad as I think it is. But two, the crush is on someone I don't get to speak to very often, and I have this little voice that wonders if I'm not romanticizing/whitewashing her in my mind... There's also fear of change going on. I haven't had a girlfriend in my life, and I know as soon as I confess I'm going to get bombarded by the whole "wait, what? Is it true?" spiel everywhere I go for a couple days and it's going to irritate me to death. But I'm going to be out of town for a few days and think it might cool off by the time I get back. But then again, it's going to be a five-hour drive with two people I'm not related to... maybe I could ask them for advice... uuuugh. But ultimately? I know the next time I get an opportunity like this, I'm going to feel the same way. So I have to do this now. I could procrastinate, but it would do no good. *deep breath and presses SUBVERT*

Original troper again. I never got around to updating this. I got a polite BetterAsFriends-ish response. Only just got over it a couple days ago, something like two months later... ''I think''. And now I'm back to the beginning of the same cycle with somebody new...

Interesting (YMMV?) version with This Troper. For a while she was Oblivious To (her own) Love, but shortly after realising her feelings flat-out said to him, "I love you." Commence the (polite) rejection along with two months of equally embarrassing moments/misunderstandings! Later played straight when she eventually had to say, "I've been over you for ages." That was hard. What she, in fact, desperately wishes for now is to be friends. And on top of that, it's also a RaceAgainstTheClock, because there's only so much time left before our last year of school ends, he moves and we [[LostForever never see each other again.]] Yeah, really.

I was in exactly the same situation(except for me being a guy and the other a girl) last year and it didn't go well. I advise you strongly not to smother him with your affections and give him some space, and if it goes badly then you'll just have to deal with it and get stronger.

(OP) Thank you, I had that plan in mind (well, I did do the smothering already, unfortunately, but that was before I admitted I didn't have those feelings anymore, so hopefully that's changed things). I'll be coming back from Spring Break (3 weeks!) soon, so I'm going to try really hard not to act like I missed anyone (platonically) too much. It's not going to be easy, seeing as I'm open to the point of verging on the "Cannot Tell a Lie/Pretend like she doesn't care", but I have to do this. I just really hope it works. *crosses fingers*

This troper has a thing for a girl in his group of friends but, is afraid to admit his feelings to her for two reasons: one, I don't want to cause a rift in the group of friends and two, I don't think she sees me that way (or any way at all). We've hung out before but, never just us alone so, we aren't especially good friends but, she's just so awesome and I've never felt this way about any other girl, and she's really cute and acts outspoken but, is really quite shy and adorable and *swoon*

This Troper has a hilarious story which happened just because of this. Now she had to ask this her friend to the Prom, who she had a bit of a crush on. It was after school one day and she had planned to wait until the next morning to do so. Unfortunately, my best friend's girlfriend decided that she wanted me to ask him right then and there. So the love interest and I had some time alone to talk but I just couldn't find the right words or find the right segue. The two of us then ran into my best friend, his girlfriend, his sister, and one of her friends. BFF's girlfriend is all acting LargeHam towards Love Interest and then whispers "What did He say?" which I interpreted as "Did you ask him yet?". I then answer No, to which she glares at Love Interest and is about to beat him up. I then told her that I meant to say that I didn't ask him yet and he finally is clued into the conversation and asks what it was. My best friend, clearly tired of all of this, finally just butts in and he does the asking for me. I end up having a HeroicBSOD and ran into the library. After realizing what I did, I was able to go back out there and apologized for my idiocy. He ended up saying yes and Prom went very very well even though the rest of the relationship didn't necessarily go that well.

I'm... I'm trying to tell him.

This troper is afirad of Spitting it Out for several reasons. I'm not sure if she will reject me, but I know it will go bad either way. No matter what she does, the majority of my friends will 100% reject me (I'm a closet troper, and most of my friends are in the "cool" clique. As far as I know, she is a troper, although I'm unsure of that.) If she accepts, then I know the relationship will fall apart. If she denies, then I will be a complete loner. My brother will probably hate me no matter what she does. Now that I think of it, I will become a loner no matter what as my school is a rumor hivemind.

This troper plays this one straight because first he is shy towards these things,and second he is a KnightInSourArmor,entirely sure doing so would not only mean rejection, but becoming enemies with the crush at best,the possible boyfriend at worst,and third even if she requites, he feels his few ideals would be misunderstood and things would go wayside. He did however subvert it trying to do to a Ladette who clearly requited after figuring out his feelings,but by then she transfered.

This troper can not spit out to her crush that she likes him. He's much more popular than she is, and she thinks he might be dating someone. She's also terrified of rejection. They're friends (not really close friends, but they play the same instrument in band and chat sometimes), and she's come really close to telling him subconsciously. Before she says anything, though, she always snaps out of it and thinks, "What are you doing??? You know you can't spit it out!"

This (male) troper's solution? Ask somebody for advi... wait a second. Okay, but seriously. First, facebook is good for checking out their relationship status. (People seem to think that actually spitting it out on FB is bad form--I never understood why, but whatever.) Second, find a friend you don't talk to very often but trust enough not to tell anyone, and talk to them about it. As amazing as this website is, I guarantee you have a friend in RealLife that knows just what to do. Because YouAreNotAlone and stuff. And third--don't fear rejection. What's the worst that'll happen? You get turned down, mope about it for a while, and maybe get made fun of by the jerks who are looking for a reason to make fun of you anyway (we all have those, I think). And then you'll either A) get over your crush (this may involve acquiring a crush on somebody else; whether it's good or not is YMMV territory) or B) not get over your crush but at least have some sense of closure and hey, maybe he'll warm up to you a bit in the meantime.

This Troper is in madly in love with her best friend, who ''seems'' to be pretty into me as well. But I can't tell him, because A: Our parents hate each other. A lot. B: Because of A, we're never allowed to see each other. And C: There's another guy who likes me who would die if he found out I love another. But safe in the anonymity of the internet, I guess it's safe to say that dammit, Quinton, I love you!

This bisexual troper is rather enamored with two people, both of which won't be hearing any confessions from her any time soon. One is her best friend (who by some luck, is gay, but very happy with her oh-so-perfect girlfriend) and another somewhat {{Adorkable}} guy who, while single, doesn't seem to be interested in her.*sigh* oh high school.

Say, pardon this Troper for asking, but... what's your name? Just first name. Or username. I'm curious.

Emma AKA Chibibeagle. If this troper just accidentally confessed then she's rather nervous. Who may I ask is this?

This trope is the reason why this Troper has never had a girlfriend. ...Well, ONE of the reasons why anyway. I just can't admit how I feel sometimes, no matter how painfully obvious it can be. And even then, whenever I DO, the feelings are usually unrequited.

This troper is in a painfully hopeless situation of this nature. It's nearly the end of the school year as I'm typing this, and we've been attending the same school for 3 years. I quickly started noticing that we're quite similiar in our love of sarcasm, sense of humor, beliefs and attitude, and it took me a year to start talking to him. We developed something akin to a friendship and I started to feel something else towards him, but I could never figure out whether he felt the same way or I was just making things up. It remained that way until the immature group of our classmates started to gossip behind our backs about us, and with us both being introverted and rather withdrawn... Well, he never gave a flying fuck about what they said about him, but I felt hurt when they hinted to him at my crush. If I ever were to admit my feelings, I would not have wanted it to be like this. An even more immature and emotionally unstable me started to back away, wanting to protect my privacy, and losing an amazing friend. I went through a 5-month period of not exchanging a mere word with him. I didn't walk up to him, and he didn't speak to me, because he thought I didn't want him to. PoorCommunicationKills. Anyway, I managed to push those feelings into the back of my head, until they came crashing down on me after that 5-month break. After an accident in which he twisted his knee, I texted him whether he was okay and we started talking again... I put everything I had into convincing him my brief isolation was never his fault. I initiated meetings and conversations which was extremely exhilarating and difficult for the dominant introvert in me, and while he always seemed quite happy interacting with me, he never put any initiative of his own into this friendship... Just like before. (Mind you, it isn't something he did only to me, but it is a general trait of his behaviour). But I was exhausted. After one of our walks I thought I couldn't go on like this, because it was draining all of my social energy. He never returned the effort I put into builing this... ''thing'' we had. PoorCommunicationKills again, and instead of telling him what was my problem, I withdrew again. I was alright for the next 8 months. But I started warming up to him ''again''. (I'm not surprised if reading that story makes you want to punch me and pat the poor guy on the shoulder). Though, it's something different now, not exactly that frenzied race of ambivalent feelings I was experiencing before, but something nice and pleasant, even if unrequited. We talk like fairly regular friends right now, but only in school... And school ends in 10 days, we're taking different routes and moving to different schools. I don't have the courage to text him or meet up after school. (It doesn't help that he's always surrounded by his trusty circle of male friends). I feel like I know what I'm losing now, and I want to become closer with him once again, but I feel so terrible and angry at myself for causing all this confusion and making it so hard for him. I wouldn't be surprised if he told me there's no way he's engaging in something so unstable again. This time, I would tell him being less passive would help, and I wouldn't be so stupid as to shrink in shyness when people talk junk. I really want it... But I just don't know what to do... I just don't know.

Text him. Now. The clock is ticking. Tick. Tick. Tick. You can do this. Don't repeat your mistakes. Tick. I'm a troper and I believe in you. Tick. If he's truly your friend, you can't lose anything. Tick. I am just like you (but male) and I know you won't lose your last shot. Tick. Tick... (oh, and I'm certainly not the guy you're talking about because I don't text)

OP here. Well, there's nothing good in this story to learn from my doings, but two days ago, we went for a walk, sorted things out and he confessed to me. I'm still in shock because I was never certain whether he felt the same way I did... but yeah, we agreed to think things through and talk about it in a week or so. So, if anyone's a good role model for painfully introverted people in this, it's him. But I'm just really happy it turned out this way.

Original commenter here. I'm glad for you, kid. Hugs all around! (And for me, a brief relief from my own spitting issues, vicariously through you.)

The "Jane, I love you," troper from earlier on the page would like to also give hugs, and asks permission to post this on the Heartwarming Moments Troper Tales page.

Original commenter again. I'd say just do it, but then why wouldn't I just post it myself? I vote that original troper posts it over at Heartwarming since she could describe it in better detail.

^^ troper again: It's more like my heart was personally warmed by reading an unfinished love story on Troper Tales and then seeing later that TheyDo. I just thought it'd be more polite to ask first.

This troper met a guy and started developing feelings for him, despite her reluctance to. It's been a year. She realized he liked her too, but both of them never said anything, despite all the play-fights and hints. Problem? He is oblivious to her feelings. Then he started liking someone else, even though he still liked her. She did her best to cope. He gets over the someone else. This troper still likes him very much, and he seems to still like her back. The other problem? She is much too stubborn to admit her feelings, and if either of them did...well, let's just say family wouldn't approve of that.

This troper Has a bad case of this, that has lasted forever, as far as she can tell. There's this boy I realized I liked before the beginning of the last school year. So this troper's friend helped me get up the courage to ask him out. He already had a girlfriend, unbeknownst to us. The perfect boy got a girlfriend all because I couldnt get up the courage to ask him out sooner. I kick myself for this everyday. and what hurts that most: I am still madly in love with him. and I fall harder for him every day.but his girlfriend makes him happy, and that's all i want. So if you dont mind, I'm going to say it right now. AUSTIN, I LOVE YOU!!!!I love you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!

This troper has gone through all 4 years of high school not being able to work up the balls to ask any girl out until they already have a boyfriend. A bad luck extravanganza if there ever was one. Although one girl did say she'd have a date with me, and oh god, was she the cleverest, nicest and most beautiful person that ever existed. Unfortunately Kyle Stark decided to sabotage the date by tagging along and flirting with her. I should've got right in his face and said "you leave Brooke alone", but being scrawnier and less prepared for a physical confrontation I said nothing. She decided he was better. I still haven't recovered.