Every living thing in this troper's life is known as "kiddo".

Many of this Tropette's close male friends wonder why I consistently call them Buddy rather than their names. They only realised it was a term of endearment after they heard me call my brothers the same thing.

This troper just doesn't call anyone ANYTHING. Name, title, job description... Just nothing. He omits them entirely. Unless he's talking about them and not to them.

How the hell do you even communicate? Grunt at them?

It's perfectly possible to talk to someone without using their name. This troper does it all the time.

Indeed, this troper mostly only uses friends' names when there's a crowd and he needs to get their attention.

Over the years, this troper's cat has moved from her name, to the kitten, and eventually to dumb cat. Since the cat is 18, it seems unlikely the name she's called.

This Troper tends to prefer to peers as "You" or merely points to them since he has since stopped cared to remember names. Likewise, he will also refer to teachers exclusively by their surname, dropping the titles (Mister, Miss, etc.)

Funny, most of the kids at this troper's school do the opposite: not bother to remember the teachers' names and just call them "Mister" or "Miss".

This troper is doing a double major - one in a very traditional, academically-rooted domain and the other in a newer, far more relaxed one. In the former, even the younger, more laid-back instructors are always referred to as "Doctor" or "Professor". In the latter, most instructors are known by either just their first names or, more rarely, just their last names. When one of the instructors from the second department gave a guest lecture in a class in the first, this troper shocked her classmates by greeting him with "Hey, Tim!"

In the first few years of elementary school, this troper referred to her teachers as "Ms. _____" by default, because she had trouble remembering if they were a Miss or Mrs. Later in life, she had the same teacher for one period of every semester for the last three years of high school. Like many of his students, she eventually dropped the "Mr." from his name...then took it a step further in her senior year by referring to him as "Iv", the phonetic pronunciation of his name's Roman numeral appendage.

This troper has two teachers and knows of another who go by only their last names. Even other teachers call them that. The one who is not her teacher has had his name shortened to 'B' by half the school. This troper also has a friend who's goal in life is to get her favorite teacher to let her call him by his first name.

Mr. Bangford?!?!?!

This Troper's maths teacher is so despised (she did NOT live up to the reputation of our last maths teacher, who we adored) that we do not know what her last name is. We just call her 'her'. But not to her face.

This troper also has absurd difficulty remembering names, to the point that she almost never refers to anyone by name while speaking to them by force of habit.

Are you my long lost twin sister!?

You know, I distinctly remember posting this, but it was apparently written by someone on a different account. Weird.

This troper's cousin calls her mother by her first name, and my friend has a cat whose name is Wyatt, but answers to "Fat-head."

This troper once had a sucessful job interview, but not with the man listed on the paperwork. After being hired, he spent the next two years believing he worked for the guy on the paper work, and not the one he really reported to. And I got away with it.

This troper has always been calling her parents by their first names since primary school, much to the confusion of her teachers and her mother's dislike.

I originally called my parents "mother" or "father" through some sense of irony; by now it's pretty much second nature.

This troper calls his father "Old Man" on a regular basis, which he's come to accept (though some guests are confused at first).

This troper's German teacher is always addressed as Frau. Literally, it's like calling someone "Woman" but in her case it's more like "Mom". (Awww!)

Cultural note here: calling your teacher "Frau" in Germany is equivalent to calling her "Miss".

This troper, a History teacher at a bilingual school, has a very hard time getting students to call him anything other than Mister. Especially funny/headachy/absurd because most of the social sciences department's male teachers are in the same office, so whenever students come in and say "Mister!" ''everyone'' turns. At this point, the painful process of teaching them to learn this troper's name and address him as "Professor X" (No, not that one, though we do get psychic like super hearing) is under way.

This troper once bumped into his college teacher and the department head in a corridor and started up a conversation, where said teacher noted that “This idiot� would do much better if he actually turned up for lectures once in a while. I instantly responded with, “Ah, shut up [[strike:Yukari-chan]] Linda.� The department head was horrified.

This Troper inherited a family tendency to forget names, make up descriptive titles, and also purposefully do this to people we don't like. He has also nicknamed a younger friend 'Scruffy', which was updated recently to 'Slicky'.

This troper seems to be a sort of real-life Invisible Girl, but not by choice. I can tell because people who've known me for ''four years and counting'' still don't know my name, and I get "HeyYou, uh...what's your name again?" constantly.

Are you Canada?

This troper uses "[descriptive noun]-type-person" a lot, and tends to shout "OY! SIBLING!" when she wants to ask or tell her sister something.

This troper has a tendency to (affectionately) address her direct superior as "Boss," and his wife sometimes as "Mrs. Boss." Given that she's a church secretary and her direct supervisor is the pastor, this garners some funny looks.

This troper has mutual friends with a girl who once referred to our relationship like Squidward and Spongebob (her being Spongebob, troper being Squidward; it's so very true it's scary). She is an incredible dolt (i.e. the blonde without the natural blonde), and is constantly referred to as "Dumbass". So, whenever someone is talking about a dumbass, it is likely her. She actually answers to it now (which makes her twice the dumbass).

This troper has a cousin who hates her first name (Penelope) and forever complains that she wants to change it legally, though she can never decide what to change it to. She hates "Penelope" so much that she refuses to be addressed as this in public. If you go out somewhere with her and want to call her, you have to say "Hey you" or else she'll go off in a sulk.

Quote from a friend: "I'd like you to meet my girlfriend...* to girlfriend* I'm sorry, what's your name again?"

This troper is terrible at remembering names, and will often refer to people as just "you" and try to hide the fact that he has no idead what the person's name is. There's some people who he often meets at the local Games Workshop but whose name he has eigther never heard or has completely forgotten, so he calls them by the army they play (That Ork Player, That Tyranid Player etc.) There's also one guy who everybody calls The Necron Player, as he has ridiculous amounts of Necrons. This troper hasn't hear anybody use his real name. He once introduced himself as [real name] aka. Stupendous Man aka. The Necron Player. Ofcourse this troper forgot the real name.

This troper has yet to ''call'' his girlfriend by his ex's name, but has switched the names--both ways--talking about them. He does call his stepdaughter by his sister's name.

And this troper had the worst trouble with his last girlfriend's name, and his cat's...

There's got to be a FreudWasRight joke in there somewhere...

Happens to this troper all the time, with everything. She has trouble remembering names for some reason--mostly peoples', but sometimes she'll find herself searching for a noun in the middle of a sentence.

It's gotten to the point that ThisTroper is known among his friends only as ThatGuyOverThere, there's another in the group known as GuyWithHair, and we actually name most guilds/clubs/random projects "That [Blank] Over There".

It runs in this troper's family, on her father's side. She's been called everything from her sister's name to the dog's name, and her uncle is the same way with his family. When her father and uncle get together, well, HilarityEnsues.

This troper's last name is Yu. Need he say more?

This troper can never remember names. Therefor, she never uses people's names or makes up strange epithets for people. therefor she never remembers their names. Therefor, she never uses their names.... you get the idea.

This troper had the same homeroom teacher for four years in high school. She never once addressed him directly. It's justified, though. She and this teacher were the only people capable of speaking. This was a class for people with autism.

A constant in a university when you can know people for days, weeks and even months without learning a name or nickname.

This troper has always addressed and refered to his parents by their given names; apparently this originally caused his mother a painful sense of rejection when he was little, but she didn't tell him that until long after she'd gotten used it.

This troper is horrible with names and around his campus, the reverse is also true (most of the time). However, he's usually seen wearing a highly-recognizable wide-brimmed hat he initially purchased for use in birdwatching and the like, so, around campus, he'll answer to "Safari Hat' or some variation thereof

{{Racha}} is likewise terrible with names- she once spent an entire year calling someone at work Tracey only to find their name was Sharon. (Then again, she was never corrected). Ironically her name is constantly forgotten by everyone else- she's always known as 'Ruth's girlfriend'. It drives her nuts but it's probably only fair.

This troper is unable to call her twin by her name. It's just 'Sis'. When she was younger, it was 'Sissy'. Sometimes, if she feels particularly eloquent or condescending, it's 'Sister of Mine'. Everyone she meets bugs her to call her sister by her name, but it just does not feel right.

This troper is terrible at remembering names, but not names of friends or people at school. No, it's family members. Even cousins get this treatment.

This troper just cannot remember the names of friends who are not his classmates, leading to awkwardness when bumping into them again. This troper received a visit from one such friend after not seeing them for months, and while the friend remembered this troper's name, he could only reply, "Hey...you..."

This troper has learned to avoid using people's names by necessity, as he is absolutely abysmal at remembering names (he's married to one of the two people whose names he remembered on the first try).

This troper has never gotten used to the idea of things having names. He remembers people by faces, and feels terribly awkward when referring to anyone by their actual name. He almost never refers to anyone by name or even title, instead describing something they've done ("that guy who spilled who coke his jacket"). Due to this, and everyone's knowledge of my condition, I have adopted the name "Muffin".

I traditionally avoid this by not calling people anything.

Same here.

This troper refers to his friends as BASTARD!, because... well, they are, and this troper has huge issues with hypocrisy.

This troper forgets any name that is not directly stated to him, often and repeatedly. This makes for awkward moments after putting off asking a close acquaintance their name for as much as four months, or trying to find out a prospective girlfriend's long-forgotten last name before talking to her family. (what makes it painfully annoying is that he sometimes remembers these names years later, often as a result of the humiliation of having forgotten.)

This troper has a terrible memory for names, and compensates by giving them nicknames to distinguish them in his mind. It occasionally takes willpower to NOT call someone 'baldy' or something similar. (He also thinks that his life would be a lot easier if people would wear nametags around him, or if people's names floated above their head.)

For some reason, as long as this troper can remember, he's deliberately avoided calling people by their names unless absolutely necessary. It's not a matter of forgetfulness, he just completely omits people's names for no particular reason. He has a tendency to point at people and grunt at them instead.

This Troper has worked with the Women's Basketball team for six months now and still does not know them by name.

This troper knows someone named Eu (pronounced exactly like "you.") So, to say "hey you!" to him would be to call him by his name.

If I don't know you, you are Kid. If I don't know you and are doing something mischievous, you are Punk. If I don't know you and you're doing something that I consider stupid, you are Moron.

This troper can't bring herself to call one of her male friends by his name, and instead calls him 'Butterfly' (keep in mind he's a pretty big guy). He answers to this name with no objections.

From over at Everybody Calls Him Barkeep: It's a habit in this troper's country to address teachers as, well, "teacher", or " 'cher" for short (hard ''ch'', not ''sh''). As a result, this troper has forgotten most of her teachers' actual names.

This troper seems to have her priorities weird. Everyone is "kid", "kiddo", "friend", or "dear heart", or a host of other sundry pet names. Groups are "children", "friends", or the similar. Figures of authority are "sir" or "ma'am". I have an extremely hard time remembering my classmates' names, and for some reason "teacher" or "Mr./Ms. X" just seems either too familiar or too distant.

This troper was scolded one Christmas for addressing gifts to her parents as "to June" and "to Gordon" instead of "to Mum" and "to Dad". The scolding was taken back when she pointed out that every time she labelled gifts the latter way, the person distributing the presents on Christmas morning never looked at the giver's name, only the recipient's, and promptly handed the parcels over to the troper's grandparents.

I call my dad Mark, my mum Maureen (though she hates that name and would prefer to be called Sam) and… that's it. If I'm talking to people, I don't call them anything.

This troper, his brother, and a dozen cousins will all answer to any of our names, due to a massive overuse of names starting with J. We all also answer to "Je... Ja... Ji... Ju... Jo... Ja... hey, you, !"

This troper has not yet caught on that {{Goggles Do Nothing}} and answers quite happily to "Girl With Goggles".

This troper has trouble remembering the names of school faculty and classmates, and only remembers the names of those whom she interacts with every single day and/or would brutally murder her if she forgot them. She will also respond to almost all observational names (EXAMPLE: "girl in the red shirt"), with the exception being "girl with black hair/eyes" (as this troper's hair and eyes are just REALLY DARK BROWN). She will also not respond to anyone who mispronounces her name or mixes it up with someone else's, but will readily respond to a simple Main/HeyYou.

My grandmother (whom I live with) calls me either my mother, two aunts, 3 cousins, old dog and/or her own name. Never my name, though.

Sounds like my step dad. On occasion, he'll go through everyone, family and friends, before he gets to yours.

On the other hand, I am terrible with names, particularly of those that I don't see that often and when talking to them constantly wonder what the hell their name is.

I have a tendency, when saying hi to someone whose name I don't know, I say something like "Hi, person whose name I don't know!". If they are with someone whose name I do know (rare) its "Hi bob! Hi friend of Bob!".

Though somewhat odd and not particularly offensive, when my friend did the "Jinx!" where you can't speak until the person who jinxed you says your name ten times, she got into calling me "It." Not meant to be offensive, though I still was offended.

This troper had a friend and classmate who he thought for the space of several weeks was actually named "Hey you" based on how her friends addressed her. Nope, the name was Hye Eun, more or less pronounced as it's spelled. Bonus points, her last name was "You".

My name is Adam. My uncle's name is Alan. My father occasionally called me Alan as I grew up. However, in recent years, the tree of us have taken to having all our holidays together, and Dad pretty much ''never'' calls either of us by the right one of the two.

This troper tends to make it a point that when meeting someone he will not bother to remember their name, no matter how important it is. Usually when addressing the person again, he will say "Hey, you with the face." If you look at the phrasing, it's not even an insult...but many people take it as one.

This troper is bad with names. Very bad. So, everybody whose name he doesn't remember, he calls "Excuse me", which is not that bad a way to start a sentence in France.

This Troper's father is really bad with the names of her teachers. For example, one of her religion teacher's air conditioner squeaked loudly when open house was held. Her teacher was dubbed "Squeaky" by the Troper's father. It's used to the point where the Troper has almost called her teacher Squeaky to her face.

This Troper had a substitute teacher a few times throughout elementary and middle school who insisted on being addressed either by his first name or simply "HeyYou". It was interesting to hear him being referred to when he wasn't there. ("HeyYou is subbing for English today!")

Somehow, even with only 3 kids, my mother can't keep track of our names. Usually, when someone is in trouble for a fairly obvious reason, the yell is for "Be...Rhi...Kie... You know who you are. Get out here now!"

Variously, people are entities, noobs and small people. The latter is reserved for anyone younger than me at school- I'm 6th Form, I'm allowed to be casually rude to small children...

This troper is somewhat disturbed and amazed at how easy it is to talk to someone without remembering their name. "Oh Hi! How you going? Yeah everything's cool with me...etc."

Due to this troper's poor memory for names, he's been surviving on that technique for about ten years now.

This troper's mother has a slight tendency to forget her children's names, so she'll say something to the effect of "Ver-Ma-Ann-- Child! Get over here!"

This troper once dated a girl who he had known for about two years before dating. At the time, she only knew me by my last name because that's what everyone called me. I didn't know this until after dating her for a couple of months when she got very serious and asked me, "What is your first name?" I was shocked that she didn't know it and asked her why she hadn't asked my best friend what it was. She said she'd tried that, but he refused to tell her and the longer she went without knowing it, the more embarassed she was for not knowing. I didn't tell her for at least another week.

YouBastard. That's deliciously evil!

This troper's 5th grade Sunday school teacher (Who was a total bitch unless you where a girl) did this. While the girls where addressed as "Miss [last name]", everyone else was addressed as "You"; said in a tone of voice that basically said "I don't care what your name is".

This troper never remembers someone's name at the first go, so co-workers, classmates, and on occasion even family members are HeyYou. At least he's gotten out of the habit of whistling for them...

This troper has a lot of trouble remembering names, so he generally carefully avoids calling people by their names. Although usually not 'hey you', he's a bit too polite for that.

In my relatively small Creative Writing Club (or Writers' Therapy Group--we sometimes don't even bother bringing anything to read), I flat-out can't remember most of their names, but since our group is small enough, we generally just point and say "You first!"

That Male Troper has a problem putting names to faces, so he relies on this fairly heavily. You can be surprised how long you can know and converse with someone without knowing their name.

The only time this troper refers to his son by name is when he's in trouble. Otherwise he's either "kiddo", "boychild" or one of the many nicknames made from his name. Of the two cats, Logan is commonly referred to as either "Cap'n Chunky Butt", or "Chunkzilla" (yes, he's fat), the other one (Autumn) is always referred to by her name. My wife and I only refer to each other by name when we're trying to get the others attention. Most of my co-workers have nicknames that they'll answer to (for example Carlos answers to "Los"). However when meeting a new person, I tend to forget their name almost right away, and wait until someone mentions it, then constantly refer to them by their name until it's burned into my brain.

this troper has a number of friends who go by nicknames, and he doesn't have the faintest idea what their real names are. As for myself, I tend to answer to anything up to and including 'asshole', though this can be explained; my real name (Ash) is often twisted into 'Ash-hole'. It's kind of become habit to answer to this, or to asshole.

I do this to teachers.

This Troper's close friend ''rarely'' calls her by her name. Now she's used to it and feels weird if her friend does.

The officers in this troper's anime club refer to themselves and call each other by their handles on the club's forum as often as they use their real names, sometimes switching almost at random. This troper will often, in a span of two minutes, refer to the same person by their real name, forum handle, and shortened forms of either.

I grew up with my daddy referring to me as 'It' all the time, which lead to me either referring to him by his first name or calling him 'Old Man' out of pure dislike for the -Expletive deleted-. THOUGH I 'unno if it counts, but my love interest calls me 'Mein Fraulein' a lot, which I'm pretty sure is incorrect from a grammar standpoint, but it still makes me feel warm and fuzzy-ish.

This troper, for some reason, refers to his (younger) sister only as "Chubbs". She's skinnier than I am!

I was working part-time with a class of first years at a primary school. At the end of one warm spring day I was sitting outside as the kids were playing, and a 10-ish year old girl came to pick her sister up. She simply walked up to me and said "Hey you! Where's [younger sister's name]?" I was a bit stunned by the directness.

Since my sort of step-sister's got my same name, my family decided to call her by her name and call me by my nickname. We are all so used to this that I don't reply if called by name, because I'm sure they are talking to her.

To this troper, peers are either 'Oi you', 'Person', or absolute gibberish. I usually end up calling people something like 'hachjuhshubadubadubasfjghqiweuthpwuieARGHDUNNOWHATYERNAMEIS' or some variation of that. As for teachers and other figures of authority, I can always remember my teachers' names when I'm speaking to them, but if I'm talking about them then I usually refer to them as 'Mr./Mrs./Ms. Whatstheirface'.

This troper has never been comfortable using names. I have always referred to people using their professional title if they have one, or not referring to them by name at all. Everyone I know seems to be fine with this, or at least hasn't brought up how annoying it is. On a related note, pretty much everyone who knows me has stopped using my name to refer to me. My name has never felt natural, and always seems like some foreign sound that couldn't possibly be referring to me.

This straight male troper and his bromantic Heterosexual Life Partner more often that not refer to each other by "Sexy" and "Princess" respectively. Ho yay indeed...

Hey, hey, you, you, I don't like your girlfriend...