I mean Freudian Slits. Uhh...Freudian Lips.

Slips! Freudian '''SLIPS!'''

...Penis.

Who hasn't actually called their teacher 'Mum' by accident? This troper did, but he said it in his home language (of Bengali), so my teacher didn't understand the language freudian slip. Phew.

My female English teacher: "A Tale of Two Titties." Laughter ensued

This troper was explaining the Big Dig project in Boston. Somewhere in the course of the conversation, he referred to it as the Big Dick. Said troper doesn't know what that was all about, but it certainly put an end to the conversation.

This troper's friend was at this troper's house, and said friend was in said house for the first time, so said troper was showing said friend around. Said friend had been saying "Mmkay" (emm-kay) to everything this troper said. Eventually, said friend was meaning to say "You know, sometimes I say mmkay." What came out was "You know, sometimes I say I'm gay." Cue laughing fits after a second or two.

This troper, instead of saying her dog's name, said "Alice."

This troper could be the ''textbook'' definition of a Freudian slip-er. While discussing dinner plans for the evening, one individual proposed coffee an sandwiches. She ''meant'' to reply to this: "It's been a long time since I've had some nice, hot coffee." What she actually said? "It's been a while since I've had some nice, hot '''sex.'''" She's still not sure how this happened. Chances she will ever live this down: Absolutely none.

Was it by any chance due to the Hot Coffee scandal?

This troper accidentally pulled one of these at work. City Council meetings are held monthly, and it's my job to put together the presentations for them. Cue me calling up a contact in the city manager's office to get the files she wanted shown, and tell her: "It's that time of the month again..."

This Troper was watching a Sean Connery James Bond marathon with her parents, who were both discussing the villainous aspects of ''Blo''feld and Odd ''Job''. A predictably awkward Freudian Slip was...slipped and this Troper had to leave the room due to the ensuing awkward silence. She re-entered 2 seconds later and everybody had a good laugh.

What's so awkward about "Oddfeld"?

In an archaeology lecture, we were discussing our dissertations and what the best kind of layout and presentation is, naturally the hardcover dissertations were the best or as one of my friends said ''"It's nice to have something long and hard to hold onto"'' It wasn't long before we all burst out laughing.

In a more traditional fruedian slip, my brother's singing teacher said ''"Take deep, powerful breasts"''

This troper saw a teacher make a similar slip in front of the ''entire school'' in a speech about the recent Sports Day - "Everybody tried their breast - ''best!''". I like to imagine he muttered to himself "well that's it, I've lost them forever" afterwards.

My school's new principal, in her first speech addressing the school, stumbled over the word 'success' in a very Simpsons-esque manner, blurting out 'sex' and 'suck' multiple times before regaining her composure. It was almost too perfect.

This troper's Torts professor once drew a shotgun on the board. After everyone burst out laughing, he looked confused until he turned around to look at the "shotgun" again.

If Freud was right about it being your subconscious saying it, then my subconscious is a schizophrenic woman who doesn't quite understand English. Stupid spech impediment.

Oh, the irony.

This troper once had one on a University Psychology exam. As it turns out, the top of the hierarchy of needs is "self actualization", not "self gratification". He never wrote an exam in pen again.

This troper's friend was giving advice to another friend who just had a fight with his girlfriend. The advice: #QUOTE# "Just buckle down and hope for the breast."

That sounds like perfectly reasonable advice for that situation.

Once, when I was playing ''AnimalCrossing: Wild World'' with someone, he misspelled "you guys" as "you gays". Also, during sex ed, I walked into the classroom, and on the chalkboard was "breast development". This happens to me a lot. All he needs is a ticket to MarshmallowHell and he'd be living the high life.

At the very first and very last practice for TheDiaryOfAnneFrank at my school, where I played Mr. Dussel. The first time, I accidentally read the word "clockwork" as "cockwork". The last time, I joked about someone pushing for a revision and said "pussing".

Reportedly, a friend of this troper's once walked up to the girl at the counter and asked "Can I have ''your'' mother?" rather than asking for the drink.

This troper had a classmate who had at one point meant to describe a girl he saw as "a really hot chick" but instead everyone heard him say "a really hot tit". He refuses to admit it even to this day.

This troper has two frequent ones; spelling the word 'beast' as 'breast', and mis-spacing 'I doubt it' into 'I doub tit'.

at least that's better than what I saw in IRC once. someone had a pen emergency and left saying "ACK! BRB! PENIS LEAKING!"

Once while I was playing SSBB with my sister I tried to ask what would happen if I turned the enemy yoshi into an egg while it was turning her into an egg, unfortunately it came out as "What would happen if I ate him out before you got laid" cue awkward silence

Once, I was taunting my HandsomeLech friend about his fruitless flirtations... and accidentally said "Flirtless Fruition." It wasn't embarrassing, but sure as hell funny.

That's really closer to a {{spoonerism}}.

Any troper who's played Trivial Pursuit will know that at least one Science & Nature question has 'organism' as its answer, ''not'' 'orgasm' as this troper blurted out as a young boy during a family game.

This troper's biology teacher made this mistake while writing notes on the blackboard. You can imagine how understanding high school students are in that situation.

this troper had a bio teacher that gave the class a list of vocabulary words which included cell with the definition "the primary functioning part of an organism." the student she had read that aloud was the ADD Poster Boy of our year, he read it as "orgasm" in front of the whole class.

A written version happened in this Troper's biology class. As the teacher who marked the paper noted: one does not want to have a ''microscopic orgasm''.

One question was, "Which pair won the Nobel Prize in Medicine in 1962?" To which my grandmother declared, "Masters and Johnson!" (The sexologists. The actual winners were Watson & Crick.)

This Troper was answering the phone once, and as she reeled off her phone number (as she does when answering the phone), instead of the number 'six', she said 'sex'. Cue stuttering, and a cry of 'S-six! I meant six!'. Thankfully, it was just a cold call, so there was no one on the other end.

A more recent example, said troper was once again answering the phone, and earlier she and her family had been discussing prostitution ({{It Makes Sense In Context}}). So when she answered the phone, the 'four' turned into 'whore'. This Troper is very thankful the person on the other end was understanding.

This troper was attempting to discuss the LoveDodecahedron at her school (she wanted to make a little diagram of it), and instead of saying "make a chart of all the attractions" she said "make a chart of all the ''erections''".

This troper tried to say that her friend might be part of the dying breed of redheads, and ended up calling her "baby" instead of saying "maybe". Hilarity ensued.

This Troper remembers an incident involving two of her friends; Friend 1 was helping Friend 2 (both female, btw) look for fake breasts for a costume she was trying to make--Orihime from Bleach, if I recall correctly. After going to several different stores and having no luck, they decided to try Lover's Package. Before going into the store, Friend 2 turns to Friend 1 and says, "Maybe it would be a good idea to ask an employee first to see if they have any--that way we're not wandering for twenty minutes looking for something that's not there." Friend 1 agrees and proceeds to march up to the young woman at the counter and asks, "Excuse me, do you have fake boobs?" The lady at the counter (who as rather small) looks up at Friend 1 and gave her this blank look before replying, "Well, if I do, they didn't do a very good job." 1 finally catches her mistake and tries to cover it up with, "Nooooo!! D: I mean, do you SELL fake boobs?" They were out of stock that day.

Recently, this troper was having lunch with a couple of girls who were talking about the latest scanlation chapter of {{Naruto}} and managing to sound sane enough that I felt safe in engaging them in conversation. Now, I'm no fan of it but I'd loosely followed the story up until a few months prior when I just got tired of where it seemed to be going. What were the the first words out of my mouth: "I stopped reading Narutard..." Fortunately, instead of erupting into fan rage, they started laughing.

This troper had a particularly awkward one at an anime convention. I was enjoying my first visit to the maid café there and playing ''Trouble!'' (yes, the board game) with a particularly sweet hostess who happened to have a lot of facial piercing. Upon which I attempted to compliment her. Unfortunately, I'd just been at the ''Host Club'', where all the (very male) hosts had some sort of cute scruffy beard or sideburns or soul patch to enhance the bishie-{{squee}}... and I was very tired... and so I told her, quite frankly and admiringly, "I just love your facial hair!" There was about a minute of ''dead silence'', before her response was to rub her chin lightly and say "wait, what?" And I immediately went bright red and had to explain myself. Crowning Moment of Awkward.

This troper was searching the web, and found a blog ranting and raving about someone I actually look up to. It had a quote from her that they were totally twisting the meaning of, and so out loud to myself, I exclaimed "I never said that!" meaning, of course, "''She'' never said that." But I swear I am not living vicariously through unhealthy levels of admiration of this individual who shall remain unnamed. I SWEAR!

Same troper, different slip. I am happy to have you know that one episode of StarTrekTOS was called "Spock's Brain", not, as this troper once called it "Spock's Boobs." Again, fortunately, nobody heard me. I think. ItMakesSenseInContext. I SWEAR!

The ''Arch Deacon'' of a nearby cathedral was heard yesterday, at this troper's school, referring to the erection of Jesus Christ. Oh dear.

This lurker/troper was going out to dinner for a "end of eighth grade" celebration (in her district, you celebrate the end of middle school like graduation) with her family. We were talking about the number six for some reason and instead of the word "six" she said "sex". It's been lost to time because of her ability to say odd things on a regular basis.

This troper, who suffers from AllLoveIsUnrequited while trying to become a VictoriousChildhoodFriend. Said friend recently came back from a 9-month vacation all grown up. The following sentence, word for word, came up: #QUOTE#'''Troper:''' Wow [friend], you look really boobie-full. Uh, booty-full. Damn it, I'll just go over there now.

Same Troper, different girl. At the beach. This girl had gotten her bellybutton pierced since the last time he saw her. He commented on it. He said "nipples" instead of "bellybutton." Furthermore, this girl was his cousin.

This kiwi troper once accidentally referred to 'Guy Fawkes' as 'Gay Fucks'. Loudly. In History class. And today, one of my friends said this while we were getting sushi. "I love sperm- er, semen- ''salmon!''"

At my girlfriend's birthday party, meeting her friends for the first time, a ''completely non-Freudian'' slip occurred- accidentally replacing the prefix "hetero" with "homo". Oops...

This troper was once writing a Livejournal post where she mentioned the RobinWilliams movie ''Moscow On The Hudson''. In the film, Robin is a saxophone player, and this troper was trying to write about that, but she kept typing "sexophone". Of course, to anyone who knows this troper's FanGirl tendencies, this should be no surprise...

This troper and her brother are not on very good terms, to say the least. But she had to fight for him during her speech about inclusion of special-ed students in regular-ed in her Communications class. She said something along the lines of, "If you side with me, there is a chance to improve my brother's fail-future." And in a more hilarious moment, a six-year-old had written a thank-you note to the cast of the school musical reading, "You gays were awesome".

This troper tried to explain why his rented shoes had gum on them after coming home from his senior prom. What he meant to say was, "There was '''gum''' all over the place." You can probably guess what he said instead.

This troper was once telling a friend about failed attempt at defeating Vanessa, a well-endowed boss in the game ''Luminous Arc''. Said boss always encounters your party with a pair of large monsters in tow, and a general tactic they like to use is surrounding one player character and offing him, then moving on to the next until the whole party is decemated. "...And there goes my last party member, crushed between Vanessa's massive breasts..." "..." "...''Beasts''! I meant to say ''beasts''!"

Dyslexic troper will never be held accountable for any of these, as she is very innocent-minded and could easily say something like this just by getting syllables mixed up. Haaa.

Da_Nuke once posted on a forum about the evils of ''schoolgirls''... er, I mean, ''homeschooling''.

When This troper was in 6th grade, his science teacher was teaching us about mineral cleavage and he typed in Cleavage on Google Images. Without [=SafeSearch=] on. The fact that he has a bit of MemeticMolester status among the students makes it worse.

This Troper was on a camping trip with her family, and she and her mother was were watching while her brother and dad set up the tent. She was making all sorts of comments with a strange accent that consisted mostly of adding an 'H' sound after any and all 'S' sounds. Turning her attention to the fact that her brother was holding a wooden spike and her father wasn't, this Troper commented, "[Little Brother's name] ish totally shafe from vampiresh. But Dad ishn't shafe from vampiresh. Nope. Dad is a ''shitting'' du-" ...When she was twelve.

Actually, that sounds like it'd be semi-accurate.

Similarly, as a kid, This Troper once said something about an "Itchy-Bitchy Teeny-Weeny Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini", to which a friend said "''What'' did you say?!"

This Troper was reading a Zagat's review of a restaurant and trying to tell his parents that the place had "soft booths." But he was wearing his retainer and it sounded more like "comfortable soft boobs." They've not let me forget.

[=* =] {{TsundeRay}} sucks a wyn into bed <[=TsundeRay=]> WAIT <[=TsundeRay=]> i meant TUCKS

<+ [=TsundeRay=]> People who are in technical know-hows are sucks anyway. <+ [=TsundeRay=]> s/sucks/dicks/

This troper was in a conversation with some friends about giving a friend a nickname. Somewhere along the way we started talking about how she'd be a good judge (long story). I was trying to volunteer for the position of prosecutor when this came out... #QUOTE#''Me'': If she's gonna be the judge, I wanna be the prostitute...Wait...Oh god...

This Troper was talking to a friend who had been recently spending time with a new friend when they weren't sharing breaks: #QUOTE#So, what've you been getting off to with Kim lately? ... UP TO! What've you been getting UP to!

This troper has had...many...''many'' instances of this. One that sticks out in memory is when she was getting up to her normal {{Cloud Cuckoolander}}y, and said, rather loudly and in front of her parents, 'I'll throw down with you!'. Except it came out 'I'll '''go down''' on you! Wait, fuck." She said it to her ''sister''. And she's also apparently subconsciously racist, because when getting riled up again and randomly spouting nonsense, she happened to laugh and say, 'I'm not stupid, I'm just black!'. And then the little white girl that she is nearly died of a heart attack.

This troper once accidentally kicked a girl (though not very hard, and she was fine afterwards), and said "Ohmigod! I didn't mean to kiss you or anything..."

This troper once, many years ago, when playing the original Smash Bros, found himself always going after one player on Sector Z. This player was playing as samus and had gone with the dark coloring, making him almost invisible. When he asked 'Why are you always going after me,' said troper responded, 'Because you're black!' Cue frantic denials of racism.

Once, at a Jamba Juice, I ordered a MANGA and orange smoothie. I felt like my nerdiness levels had gone over 9000....

On the way to school assembly, I narrowly squeezed between a girl on crutches and another person. My friend said to me, "Don't walk into the cripple, damnit!", to which I replied, "I didn't walk into IT, I went around IT."

This editor slipped one few hours ago when discussing about the horror movie I saw #QUOTE# '''Me''': I hope that I will get some tonight *{{Beat}}* SLEEP! I hope to get some sleep!

This troper is prone to this when it comes to things he dislikes. Once he referred to Mormonism as "Moronism". Another time, he referred to the ''All American Rejects'' as the All American Retards

Me whilst talking to my sister's Friend (who was a girl) #QUOTE# '''Me''': "Tea might seem like a bit of a Fruity drink to you, but Screw me if... (mean''t to say "But damn, if it isn't good'') ...Wait, what did i say?"

At her birthday party, this Troper had her male friend read the story "Guts" from {{Haunted}} outloud. Much Squickiness ensued, of course, but while another friend and I were discussing it later: #QUOTE# '''Me''': I hope it didn't seem too gross to you, especially the whole 'calamari' thing. #QUOTE# '''Friend''': Ha, don't worry, I liked it, although it got pretty gross. #QUOTE# '''Me''': Yeah, although really the 'guts' thing didn't get me off as much as all the masturbation did. #QUOTE# '''(pause)''' #QUOTE# '''Me''': ....''put'' me off.

Several years ago when the new Star Trek movie was still rumor i was discussing the possibility that it would be a prequel with Spock and Kirk at the academy, but what came out was "Kock and Spirck"...

This Troper is the only male staff member at an Australian public school, which by coincidence had not had a male teacher in a few years. He spent his first year being addressed as "Miss" or "Mrs" as often as "Mister", especially by the younger students, who understandably had never addressed a male teacher before. He makes a strong point of never, ''never'' letting it slide, as he plans to work at the school for at least a few years yet.

This Troper was once in a discussion about the different ways people approach relationships and began a sentence, "Well, I'm not the kind of girl who.." cue much laughter. This troper is male.

This Troper was talking about the show Queer As Folk with a friend, explaining the plot of an early Season 1 episode: "And then David asked Michael to move into him - WITH. Move in WITH him!"

From a texting exchange: #QUOTE# '''Him''': So what time is practice again? #QUOTE# '''Her''': (Intending to say "Six") Sex. #QUOTE# '''Him''': Wait, what? Really? #QUOTE# '''Her''': Yup! See you there! :)

If I see a Tom and say 'Hello Tom', I try not to say 'Hello Tomsk'

This troper accidentally sat in gum the other day. A little aggravated that I couldn't get it off my pants, I went to one of my friends to vent about how some jerk left gum on the bench in our senior lounge. For some reason I ended up saying, "Guess what! I just sat in some cum!". Hoo, that was a fun afternoon...

This troper was talking to a male friend before class one day, when the friend said something unbelievable. I can't remember what, but it prompted a "You're fucking kidding me!" Guess which word I forgot to say.

In a written form of this Trope. My writing managed to make "slick" look like "dick". The teacher noticed...

While having a discussion about television stations, this troper referred to the Fox channel as House. I suppose it doesn't require stating which show she bothers to watch on that channel.

A long time ago, this nerdy troper was in high school, studying a play. Her teacher decided it would be better to have someone act the lines, so she and another student had to go to the front of the class and read them out loud. One of her lines was: "I love [name]". Of course, he said the name of her crush instead.

This troper and her mom and sister were randomly looking stuff up about manatees. The following occurred as this troper read to her younger sister...the sad thing is, I was trying to NOT to make a FreudianSlip as I read it. >__> #QUOTE# '''Troper''': The manatee eats several different orgasms--ORGANISMS. #QUOTE# '''Mom''': *starts laughing uncontrollably* #QUOTE#'''Sister''': ...?

This troper recalls an absolutely hilarious situation at church where one of the members of our congregation was speaking on the podium and let one slip in the following sentence: "We must strive our best to build a strong sexual relationship with God". He realized his error and promptly apologized, but his sons began taunting and mocking him after the session was over. XD

My mother has a funny story relating to this. She was at the doctor's for prenatal care, and it was near the end of the pregnancy. The doctor gave her a list of things she shouldn't do, ending with "And no [wags finger in a manner that implies naughty things]" My Dad, being a wise ass at times, asked "Tennis?" Prompting the doctor to ask, "Oh, you play sex?"

Whenever this troper tries to write secant shorthanded, 9 times of out 10 she'd end up writing 'sex' instead of 'sec'.

Though not of a particularily sexual nature for this troper... one time, when I had been watching a fair bit of Disney for a while, someone with the surname White called the house asking to speak to my mom, and after I walked over to her to tell her so, the conversation went like this: #QUOTE#'''Troper''': You're wanted on the phone! #QUOTE#'''Mom''': Who is it? #QUOTE#'''Troper''': It's Snow White - er, I mean...

Fortunately, my mom didnt seem to notice.

I have a very.... boisterous family. We have more laughs sober than most people do drunk. One night at a restaurant, the whole family was roaring with laughter about something or other, as usual. Noticing some odd looks from the wait staff, my father decided to apologize if any of the other customers were complaining. However, he ended up saying, "I'm sorry. I hope we're not disturbing the other ''patients''." Needless to say, the laughter didn't stop after that.

This troper once blurted out "Yiffy" instead of "Yippee" whilst talking to a friend.

This troper occasionally blurts out long bursts of weird Freudian slips. For example, "important" once became "vomit". Another time, "pumice and radiation" became "pornography bread". There's also one post at a message board thread discussing ''Series/DoctorWho'' Series Fnarg where he mistyped "River Song" as "River Pond", prompting a flood of links to yuri fanfics.

Oddly while This Troper was typing in the title of this trope he accidentally typed out "junk grabbing".

How do you even DO that?!?

This troper's English teacher has had two instances of this. Over the school announcements, while meaning to say "second", she instead said "sex". A mixture of shock and laughter ensued. Again, over the school announcements, while saying the abbreviation of the school's name, she instead said "[=MFs=]". Cue more shock/laughter/witty comments from the science teacher.

This troper was using her iPod Touch to chat with a friend on Facebook. When it was time to leave, she mistyped "Listen, I gotta go" as "I gotta ho". HilarityEnsued.

This troper clearly remember one time his mother said "necrophilia" when she meant "narcolepsy".

This troper made that mistake once. In middle school. It was embarrassing.

This troper was in an irc channel where we were contemplating why people spend real money to buy things like clothing in MMOs such as MapleStory. We started joking around about making a shopping MMO where all you do is buy stuff. This troper suggested that when someone creates a nude patch for the game, we add a section of the store to buy porn. Except he misspelled "add" as "ass".

In that same channel, we were discussing Starbucks, and I said the only thing I ever get there is a frappachino. Forgot the r. "That isn't cream..."

Ah, you must be where Mike Judge got the idea in Idiocracy.

I have almost typed "duck" with a different first letter several times.

If you had a buck for every time your luck with 'duck' went into the muck...

This may just be wishful thinking on This Troper's part, but when we were discussing a scenario in a book where one character gets her friend to talk to the boy she likes, my crush said, "So, I could ask [crush's friend] to talk to [Troper] for me... wait."

At high school, I was a friend of a teacher who had directed a play and was among the several classes whose teachers were invited to attend and watch the play for the period. In the end of the play there was a guy whom, after a long string of chance meetings between himself and others (or others with different people they had histories with in the past), he eventually came to a woman who was on the streets asking for money. She turned out to be a news reporter in disguise trying to test people to see both kind and selfish people, and she went on a date in the end with the guy, who, in the end, made a quote that went something along the lines of hoping for good things for tonight and many nights to come. When I went to see the teacher later in a break, we talked about how the play went and the other feedback they got from everyone else and they commented about how I thought of it. I told them I liked it, and mentioned about the guy in the end and his quote, which I mentioned as "getting lucky". Unfortunately, while I meant "getting lucky" as in "being fortunate or gaining luck", ''their'' mind went quickly into the gutter, and yeah... The rest of the conversation went south and needless to say it ended very fast.

this troper's new science teacher was teaching us about the scientific method by example. His problem of choice? finding a date for friday night. at one point, when he got to reasons as to why the "experiment" would have failed, he said"...maybe she already has a girlfriend...!" then he realized his mistake and the class cracked up!

....Why did the class find that funny?

"Maybe ''she'' already has a ''girl''friend."

This troper was on an IM chat with her best male friend, and he had asked for a certain math homework problem, as he had forgotten to bring home his textbook. She meant to type "Gimme a sec." but it came out, "Gimme a sex." He still hasn't let her live it down.

0dd1: While waiting at a bowling alley for a few people, I asked my friend Craig when his girlfriend would probably be with us. He responded, "Melanie said she's on her way." Melanie is a completely different girl who goes to school with us (and who he had gone to school with for years before I'd ever even met him; he also supposedly really hates this girl). Needless to say, he was extremely embarrassed about it, and nothing more was said about it the rest of the evening. (Note: The names used in this example have been fictionalized to protect the innocent.)

I once attempted to say (referring to a character in the film version of ''{{Watchmen}}'') "Veidt's really hard to draw". What came out was- complete with unintended stretching of sounds and pauses- "Veidt's really... haaaaaaaaot." Thankfully, this particular case of PerverseSexualLust was already well-known to all parties involved.

This may have been the case with a girl in this (German) troper's English class. She had to say "I'm busy", but pronounced it "boozy", which sounds to Germans much like "Busen", our most colloquial term for "boob".

Once, I was watching TV and my mom needed me in the kitchen. My response? "Give me a sec. Actually, give me a lot of secs."

On a forum This Troper belongs to, another poster was talking about his feelings for an ex-girlfriend. He meant to say "The memory of her still ''lingers'' in my mind" but he made a typo, his spellcheck auto-corrected, and what was posted was "The memory of her still ''lingeries'' in my mind". Who could pass up such a beautiful opportunity for a pun? Of course I responded: "I suppose she wears Freudian slips?"

This Troper had one happen not to long ago. Discussing with a friend how to send an umbrella through the mail, using the one I had picked up in Japan as an example. What did I say? "Well, let me tell you how I got it through condoms..."

My parents are not fond of the idea of me going to art college, and one day my dad asked me during lunch what I was planning in getting my B.S --sorry, my ''B.A'' in. I was amused.

This Troper's platoon for CAT was practicing for Creative Marching a few days ago. Our sequence involved reciting the Cadet's Creed, so when our choreographer was reciting it... #QUOTE# '''Choreographer''': Unity is the beginning! Sex is the ending! (everyone present laughs) #QUOTE# ''*someone points mistake out*'' #QUOTE# '''Choreographer''': NO NO WAIT! I MEANT SUCCESS! SUCCESS IS THE ENDING!

This troper used to work at an auto parts store that would do free battery and alternator tests. Sometimes, we would get rather hot young ladies in with car problems. Once, I managed to combine check and test into the same word. "Well, we can chest your alternator for you. Uh, wait... that came out wrong."

This troper does not have a very high opinion of {{Mark Millar}}'s work, which might be why she once accidentally typed "Mark Anus" into google.

This troper was writing her Environmental Science notes while running on about four hours of sleep, and she was trying to write the word "insect." So she managed to mix up the s and the c...thank God she caught it in time.

Same troper: I was playing Mario Party with a friend and I tried to describe a mini-game as "March of the Penguins: the demented version." The word version came out kind of garbled, and wound up sounding like "virgin." After realizing this both my friend and I started laughing.

One that I am rather embarrassed about was during lunch just last Tuesday. A couple friends and I were sitting around eating, the usual. When one of my friends asked, "So hey, |Troper|, how is Odd Job in that new Golden Eye game?", "I don't like blow job that- er..." after a moment of awkward silence one of my girl friends says "Why don't you have a girlfriend again?". {{Hilarity Ensued}}.

An Internet friend asked if there was a "nude button" in the forum chat. He meant "nudge button".

i had one that was incredibly nonsensival and i will NeverLiveItDown: me and a coupple o friends ere talking movies and more specifically that brad pitt was a good actor and he was awesome on IngloriousBasterds and then we started talking about the wome and we started saying who was better: Shoshanna or Bridget it came to something like this: -> '''Friend 1''': c'mon everybody knwos Shoshanna is the sexier chick i mean just look at the eyes -> '''Friend 2''': are you kidding she's just to thin. bridget on the other hand...¿hey (looks at me) what do you think about it? -> '''ThisTroper''': well, personally i like Women like Brad Pitt... (cue crazed look from my friends ad endless teasing with teh gay) for the record i'm not gay. NotThatTheresAnythingWrongWithThat

This troper was eating lunch when one of his friend commented: "I like your hair cunt-I mean cut! Hair ''cut''!"

In middle school I was reading a passage out loud from a science textbook. I made the orgasm/organism mistake. To be fair to me I was wearing braces.

In '''ThisTroper''''s Japanese class, we were learning the word "kan" for "public building." While writing on the blackboard, the teacher misspelled the translation and wrote "pubic building" instead.

In middle school, this troper accidentally wrote "Horny Clinton" rather than "Henry Clinton" as an answer to a test question.

Non-sexual example: I once called Wario Ware "Wario War". Which sounds like it could be a cool game, actually.

I am in middle school where a lot of kids are pretty sick-minded and this happens pretty much everyday. In my group of friends, you will never live it down. Also, when it happens to the teachers, everyone always says, "well I know what Mr/Mrs _____ is thinking about!" and then we all have a good laugh.

This troper managed to do this while typing. ''Over and over again,'' the exact same slip up. #QUOTE# '''MB:''' So, what's that fic you were talking about? #QUOTE# '''Troper:''' Just a sex #QUOTE# '''Troper:''' I MEAN SEC #QUOTE# '''MB:''' Lolz, okay. #QUOTE# '''Troper:''' Anyway, KK's not even- dammit, just a sex #QUOTE# '''Troper:''' DAMMIT ALL, I MEAN SEC, ''SEC'', '''''SEC'''''

This troper's Italian teacher once remarked that a classmate was out taking his driver's test, and his girlfriend, who was also absent, was probably there to give him moral support. However, it came out sounding a ''lot'' more like "give him oral support." Hilarity ensued. This troper had to explain it to the teacher, because she missed it entirely.

This troper and her friends were talking about Freudian slips when one of her friends accidentally said "Freudian ''strip''" instead of Freudian slip.

This troper was trying to get his friend(who wasn't allowed at his house) out the door quickly before his father returned. I was saying "Yes. Yes. I understand" without caring what the idiot was talking about. Then, because I was so used to saying the same to my father, I blurted out "Bye. I love you." Luckily, he had closed the door right before that last bit.

I was looking for my slippers, and trying to quote ''MyFairLady'', asked my mother: "Where the devil are my strippers?"

I added the ''AllInTheFamily'' example to the main page ("Edith doesn't want to go to her class reunion without Archie, but changes her mind when she finds out that her old crush, Buck Evans will be there. When Archie hears this, he decides he will go too.") and accidentally wrote "his old crush". Rather appropriate.

Not sure if this counts, what with all the sexual examples here, but this troper accidentally called his mother by her actual name instead of "Mom".

Just now, I was talking to my uncle, who joked that I was high. I stared at him like I was gonna hit him, so he said, "Don't hit me, you hit me real hard earlier." (I did.) I had meant to say "If anyone's high, it's you", but insteadI responded, "If anyone's hard, it's you."

This troper is very much guilty of this but at least it leads toHilarityEnsues a few examples my friends tells me to stop wasting money on whatever me your white.....Crap I mean right! Next i start listing genres I have on my ipod GrindCore,Grunge and, hard cock....Wait I mean HardRock!

[[Tropers/{{Gunarao}}]] just had one while editing a page. While writing about an affair, he almost mentioned the details of the scandal had been made pubic.

This troper knew a girl in high school who, in retrospect, likely had a thing for him (though he never believed it at the time) One time, during photo class while working on a photo of this troper, said girl stroked the screen / picture of this troper, and said something about "doing more with my love"... yeah. (Sadly nothing ever came of that since she already had a boyfriend and then moved away, but it was still a big Slip and this troper is still not sure what she actually meant to say.)

The other week "Hamlet: Price of Denmark" came out as "Hamlet: Prince of Darkness" for this troper. And everytime he writes the word "public" in an essay, it comes out as "pubic".

So, how much?

A few years ago this troper and his sister went to a store to buy Ice cream. I found a new type with taste of Cinnamon, so i told her. But instead i told her that there was a taste of '''Rabbit cock'''.

This troper was talking about how he sucks at Badminton, but can serve with both hands. He meant to say "ambisuckstrous", but instead said "ambisextrous".

Well, at least I was half right.

One time my mom tried to offer my cousin a blowpop. You should be able to guess what came out instead.

This troper has two friends, a boy and a girl. CuteBruiser once kicked JerkWithAHeartOfGold in a... place. Today, I almost did the same thing to him (by accident, of course), and it brought back that memory. When JWAHOG complained about it, CuteBruiser retorted with, "I didn't mean to kiss it!" My laughing and yelling "Freudian Slip!" probably did nothing to assuage her embarrassment.

This troper had one while watching a video of ''Winnie the Pooh'' with her mother. What she meant to say was " you never give tigger a hammer". what ''actually'' came out was "You negger give Tivver" *{{beat}}*cue uncontrollable laughter*