Yeah, nevermind the obvious joke... @/HeartOfAnAstronaut: the secret to winning over the heart of your sixteen year old brother is buying him a t shirt that says "These are my bitches" with arrows pointing to the left and right. The perfect outfit for visiting his girlfriend's parents, of course.

{{@/Nornagest}}: I'd buy that.

Blah, blah, blah

I'm so bored

I wish I could delete

homework

chores

sister

His friend said that if he found a wish-granting creature, he'd tell it to "read the shirt".

@/LurkingBeneath "Sarcasm is one of the services I offer." Fellow troper, we share a shirt.

@/MaraJade: I have one of those. It has the Joker on the front and 'Why so serious' on the back

Actually, how about a fun button/pin? I have a pin that my mom got that says "Why am I here?" I leave it up to whoever sees it to decide whether or not it's a joke or serious. It certainly gets a variety of answers (particularly from teachers), and the most (and only completely) serious one was a random lady on the street who gave me a whole speech about God and heaven and repenting for my sins. I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm agnostic.

As a matter of fact, the world does revolve around me.

I do all my own stunts (Under a running, flaming stick figure, and with added string of superglue stains down it)

I can only please one person per day. TODAY IS NOT YOUR DAY. Tomorrow doesn't look good either.

You know what your problem is? You're stupid.

Today, I am wearing mainly black.

(Altered 'ascent of man' diagram to end with a man hunched over a computer) Somewhere, something has gone terribly wrong.

(Large graphic of a dog chasing a cat) Fast food

(Large graphic of Vader's head inside the Imperial cog symbol from StarWars ) I find your lack of faith disturbing.

A large graphic of a skull and crossed swords.

A black T-shirt with 'Skorpion' on the back across the shoulders, from the local Warhammer40K store's gaming club.

UK Games Day '08 shirt, with a large graphic of a boltgun from Warhammer40K on the back.

The 'PH34R' and 'Ph33r my reality' shirts from the Megatokyo store

This troper has seen it. It really is out there. Biffbiffley: I"d like to see the same, only with the arrow pointing down. I'd wear it tucked in. (Yes I'm a guy can you tell?)

That first remains unique only until I figure out how to get one made.

I also have a black-on-white one that says "There are 10 kinds of people in this world; those who understand binary and those who don't." I jacked the words from TroperTales.ThereAreTwoKindsOfPeopleInTheWorld and had it made custom.

My newest is a shirt, yellow-on-green, which reads "Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup."

(on the front and the back respectively).

One with a caffeine molecule printed on the front.

AllYourBase

Keep staring; I might do a trick

Stop reading my shirt

I so want this one! The one that got away?

Genius by birth - Slacker by choice

I caught it. I'm not giving it back; though, sadly, few have the nerve to comment on it.

from Universal Studios: front "Disaster Studios", back "Rule #14: The annoying guy always dies.

a ''GreatestAmericanHero'' logo shirt

a ''DGrayMan'' uniform shirt

'javelinas love people!' shirt. A javelina is a Mexican wild pig, and the illustration shows one of those stick-figure guys in a hiker uniform being chased by a javelina on its hind legs. Under the illustration, in smaller font, it says, "(they taste like chicken)".

A brown shirt with a picture of Annie Oakley on it. The text? "Women who behave rarely make history."

Ms. Pac-Man shirt - black, with the zoomed-in, pixelated four ghosts zooming around in really bright colors.

My personal favorite: a New Super Mario Brothers shirt, green, with a One-Up Mushroom on it. Underneath are the three legendary words of fun-pickers past... 'GET A LIFE.'

However, there is only one shirt she very much wishes would be made: a black shirt with a giant red R on the front.

One of my friends actually made one of those. He wore it along with a FullmetalAlchemist army coat, eliciting jokes about how much more awesome Team Rocket would be if they had Roy Mustang.

"FrankZappa For President", complete with a picture of the man himself

"Transylvania University", in the style of a normal college shirt

The "I can only please one person a day. TODAY IS NOT YOUR DAY. Tomorrow doesn't look good either" one that was mentioned before.

The one I'm wearing as I type has a cat glaring at the viewer, captioned "Don't Mess With Me!"

Another has a kitten sprawled out napping, cuddling a catnip mousie. Caption: "I don't do mornings". (I'm a chronic owl myself, and my husband working swing shift doesn't help.)

Then there's the cat with fangs bared for action, captioned "STRESSED OUT!"

Another one that just surfaced in my closet: a dragon, captioned "Why hoard gold when you can hoard chocolate?" (based on a cross-stitch design I find amusing)

The former is on sale in the UK, somewhere.

Given away free to subscribers of *Top Gear* magazine, I believe.

A uni friend has an "I am the Stig", got from a shop. I've got one that says "fcuk it".

On the front: "Schroedinger's Cat Is Dead", and on the back "Schroedinger's Cat Is Not Dead". Naturally, I wear this to any and all science museums/exhibits/theme parks I can.

A picture of the Milky Way galaxy, with a sign pointing to one of the arms reading "You are Here"

On a black T: "There is a ninja on the back of my shirt". Below this, a picture of a shuriken embedded in my stomach.

"You Are Dumb", written in binary code

The front reads "Slightly to moderately impacted." I think it is meant to be a reference to this. But most people don't consider that interpretation.

I would probably buy that one.

I know I would.

'Stupid humans... stupid vampires... We should all be turtles or something' On the front, with 'The Saga of Darren Shan' on the back.

'Don't look at ''me'' funny- you're the one staring at my chest'

'BITE ME'

'My cornflakes told me you are evil' @/DrunkenGrognard: I've got a couple fun ones, though I've had them long enough that they are in rough shape these days. My favorite is "Error 404: requested shirt not found." followed closely by "Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup."

I also have friend with a shirt that reads, on the front, "'God if dead'- Nietzsche (1890)". On the back, it reads: "'Nietzsche is dead'- God (1900)".

@/MeganPhntmGrl's brother has a T-shirt with the British flag labeled GREECE.

These aren't the droids you're looking for.

My imaginary girlfriend is hotter than yours.

I cannot brain today. I have the dumb.

WHEEEEEEEE!

(Front): Cthulhu? Chuck Norris? Nuclear War? Those things aren't scary. (Back): My little sister, on the other hand...

I think I pulled a brain muscle.

(A list of some of the many and varied stupid things that can be found on the internet in the background. The foreground): Stop the web, I want to get off.

(Front): I'm pretty sure what you just described is illegal. (Back): Let's do it!

(Picture of a giant foot behind the letters) And now for something completely different.

"First thing we do, kill all the lawyers." (With a picture of Dick Cheney with a shotgun)

An error message that says: "We are Microsoft. Resistance is futile."

And my favorite, "Past my Curfew". With Cinderella running home.

The aforementioned (and very common) "I can only please one person a day..."

I may be wrong, but I doubt it.

There are three types of people in this world: Those who are good at math, and those who aren't (This troper belongs to the former. Hence why I bought the shirt.)

Know Your Mushrooms (followed by Well-known and not-well-known mushrooms from SuperMarioBros.)

Don't make me go Zelda on you! (with images of some Ocarina of Time items)

My Job Resume: Great at Multitasking. Can eat, play video games, watch TV, study, and talk on cell phone all at the same time.

Video Game Addiction: It's when you ask your doctor how many extra lives you have left.

'Tis better to be silent and thought a fool than speak and remove all doubt.

Geeks Rule (bought at Microsoft)

Buttweiser: King of Rears

A picture of George Costanza in underwear with the caption "The Timeless Art of Seduction"

Amsterdam: Red Lights District

24 Different Uses for the F Word (With uses such as Etiquette: Pass the Fucking Salt and Philosophical: Who Gives a Fuck)

A favorite combination of mine was an NYPD shirt with stoner pants. People would point and laugh, especially when I had long hair.

On the front: "A gay guy is looking at me". On the back: "Now he's looking away to disguise it".

"Women is like potato chips. You can't have only one." (Yeah, he's a sick fuck like that, don't ask).

"Catastrophe is when your Mother-In-Law is drowning on the beach. Disaster is when the Life-guard succeeds in saving her."

On the front: "Money does not bring happiness". On the back: "Therefore, give me all your money and have a happy life!"

This one he bought to wear only on Valentine's day. It was one that said, in huge letters: "YOUR BOYFRIEND'S GAY. I'M NOT".

But.. but.. neither my boyfriend NOR I am gay. (Yes I am a guy. I'll let you figure it out.)

Bisexuals.

A light purple shirt that said "Real men wear pink, but only THE men wear purple". Purple was a pretty effeminate color in Brazil at the time. I, myself, love these too...

El Madruga Forever.

(A large graphic of a brain with a little sign hanging on it) "Brain out of order".

On the front: "Talk to me if today is your day!". On the back: "Happy Gay Pride day!".

My personal favorite: A Mall Map with various green dots and one single orange dot. Above the map are the words "Zombie Day at the Local Mall", and an arrow pointing at the orange dot says "You Are Screwed".

A picture of a bottle of bleach, wearing Ichigo's shinigami uniform, and carrying Zangetsu.

"SAVE FERRIS" (from ''Ferris Buller's Day Off'').

"Cats are like chocolates, you can't have just one!"

"Know your mushrooms" (which I think might have been mentioned above), along with various mushrooms from the Mario series.

A picture of a ribcage, done in a {{Steampunk}} style (complete with bellows for lungs, a large circular-thing for a heart, a spine ect.). Here's a picture for those curious.

This troper has several shirts she is well-known for wearing.

"My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems."

"I didn't lose my mind. I sold it on eBay."

A picture of a few pocky stick in the background with the word "ADDICT" printed over them.

A picture of the main characters from {{Bleach}}- Ichigo, Orihime, Chad, Uryu, Yoruichi, and Renji. I get the most compliments on this one for whatever reason.

A brand new Kingdom Hearts 2 shirt that she plans to wear as much as possible.

There are also the ones I want desperately, including pretty much every shirt on thinkgeek.com, and a shirt with a stylized picture of The Prince rolling a Katamari with a caption underneath reading "That's how I roll." {{@/kicking_k}} has quite a few:

"You Will Be Catalogued" is probably the best (white letters on black). She is an archivist. And she uttered the words "I want that on a T-shirt" while watching ''Smith and Jones'' (Series/DoctorWho s3e1) with her brother. Not uncoincidentally, his girlfriend has acquired a similar T-shirt that reads "Allons-y, Alonso!".

She also have a couple from [=ThinkGeek=] including 42 and "Keep Out of Direct Sunlight". She sunburns easily. However, people seem to think she is declaring she is a vampire (this predates those sparkly ones.

And for total bafflingness, there's the {{ScaryGoRound}} collection, featuring a tea-drinking yeti, a happy calculator, and the Yak Wendigo War. Somehow explaining these (particularly the last) doesn't seem to help anyone. And this one has three:

A green ''XKCD'' shirt that has a formula on the back and on the front it says "Science. It works, bitches."

A faded white shirt with someone trapped in a box and below that says "How can I think outside the box, when they won't let me out of it?"

A red VGCats shirt with Professor Oak of ''Pokemon'' saying "Bitch be trippin balls".

Nasser (leader of panarabism)with the Obama campaign style "Yes We Islam!"

"Don't Panic I'm Islamic"

"Shake your Buddha"

A very cute pig saying "You christian bastard"

I saw I guy once with one that had a picture of the cruxifiction... with a caption that said "Men who wear thongs get what they deserve". This (catholic) troper was amused.

"Act Before You Think" (made to poke fun at my high school acting teacher, who of course didn't get it)

A shirt from NASA that reads "It's Not Rocket Science-- oh, wait, yes it is."

A shirt with a picture of an alien abduction that says "New Mexico-- Land of Enchantment!"

A shirt with superheroes playing poker (The Thing is winning, Captain America is facepalming)

A shirt with an octopus that says underneath, "Who Wants Four Hugs?"

A shirt with what looks like iPod-dancing-silhouettes, except they're founding fathers

A shirt that says "This Is A Shirt" (made for my production of Hamlet)

A sweatshirt that says "A Pun At Maturity Is Fully Groan" (my friends ''hate'' this one)

Before I lost it, I had one that said "I think, therefore iamb" with appropriate scansion marks

...and I desperately want the one a couple of the grad students at my college have that says "If you mention the Earl of Oxford one more time I'll stab you in the face." (Why yes I am a nerd, why do you ask?)

A plain black shirt with a giant white single 8th note on the front. No logos or anything, just the note. This one gets the most comments.

"Eul me up, boys, it's calculus time!"

"Evolution Kills" I ''really'' want a shirt with this on the front and this on the back. This Troper makes his own t-shirts, including ones based on this image

For Christmas, I got one with Captain Caveman leaning on his club, with the text "I'm bringing sexy back."

Also: If you're so {{Goth}}, where were you when we were sacking Rome?

If I agreed with you, we'd BOTH be wrong

Those who think they know everything annoy those of us who actually do

(Graphics showing the evolution of man, leading to a figure hunched over a computer) I have highly evolved skills.

Yeah. I'm that awesome.

(Christmas tee) 364 days of fun? 1 day of coal? I'll take my chances.

Joker "Why so serious?" shirt

Also, my best friend loves chick-flicks, I pretend not to and will extensively mock them. Especially wimpy heroines who never seem to be able to rescue themselves. Therefore, said best friend gave me a lovely pink shirt proclaiming "Damsel in distress seeking her prince charming."

This Troper has:

bite me (with a picture of pacman on it)

The fairies are my friends

Neighbourhood witch

My mummy says im special

My happy shirt :)

The voices are telling me to kill you

A Series/DoctorWho shirt referencing Time Crash.

A shirt with the Golden Age GreenLantern symbol on it.

A shirt with a large TUNA on it in a parody of the PUMA brand.

A Buffy/anti-Twilight shirt.

This troper's former housemate has a velcro T-shirt and a collection of stick-on letters, for "make your own" humorous messages.

This Troper once had one that said: "I'm not deaf, I'm just ignoring you."

I also want one that says: "I (picture of a pink bat) for both."

... and here it is!

One with pictures of computer keys that spell out "CTRL ALT DEL".

One with an image of a game of {{Tetris}} in progress. The player is on level 1. An I-block has been placed horizontally, covering a hole it was clearly meant to enter vertically. The text below reads "EPIC FAIL".

One with a line of 1-up mushrooms. Below and to the right is the 7-Up logo.

And his favourite one has an image of BarackObama holding a Wii remote. Below is the message "Yes Wii can!". The word "Wii" is written in the font used in its logo.

His university Sci-Fi and Fantasy society hoodie also deserves being mentioned. On the back is the society logo: a dragon with the Greek letters psi and phi superimposed on top. On the front is the university's coat of arms, his name, and the phrase "I play Darkness". Play ''Doom: the Boardgame'' with him as the invader player and you will understand.

Three Street Fighter II T-Shirts:

One with Ryu doing a Hadoken like in the Super SF2 intro

An M Bison/Vega "Evil: A Good Career Choice" shirt (the quote is from the original SF2 anime)

A Chun-Li "Kung Fu never looked so good!" shirt with her doing a very high kick

A MegaMan "Say Hello to my Little Friend" shirt

"Allow me to introduce myselves"

"I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you."

"I scare my own family."

One she made herself that says "I survived the Apocalypse and all I got was this lousy T-shirt."

"Gone to find myself. If I should get back before I return, KEEP ME HERE." And several more.

"Pluto: Revolve in Peace. 1930-2006"

"An Apple A Day (still leaves you 2-4 servings short of your daily recommended fruit intake)

"Quantum Mechanics" (with a picture of two repairmen standing in front of an atom)

"Palindromes Are Rasemordnilap!"

"Pavlov: That Name Rings A Bell!"

"Hokey Pokey Anonymous: A Place To Turn Yourself Around"

"Veni, Vidi, Wiki: I Came, I Saw, I Edited Collaboratively"

"Irony" (below a picture of the entry for iron in the periodic table)

"Ambiguity: What Happens In Vagueness Stays In Vagueness"

"Scuba Diving: Keep Your Friends Close And Your Anemones Closer"

"There's No Right Way To Eat A Rhesus"\\ Yes, I do indeed have an xkcd-ish sense of humor.

On a more depressing note, I saw a nine-year-old with a shirt reading "Forget princesses, I want to be a vampire.

'''P'''eople for the '''E'''ating of '''T'''asty '''A'''nimals

The ''ElChapulinColorado'' Heart emblem shirt.

The ''Ni Entiendo'' T-Shirt (Yes, I'm Mexican-American: for all you ''gringos'' out there it means ''I don't understand'')

"Touche, o dark master of evil bathrobes."

"11 cheers for binary!"

The aforementioned "Schrodinger's Cat is (Not) Dead"

"Also, I can kill you with my brain."

"Fluorine, Uranium, Carbon, Potassium" (Look up the periodic table and you'll figure it out.)

"Come to the dark side, we have cookies..."

"Evil will always triumph because good is dumb."

Written in very small print, "If you can read this, please quit staring at my chest"

The aforementioned "EPIC FAIL" Tetris shirt.

An "I see dumb people" shirt.

A black shirt with white text that reads "This shirt is only black when I am daydreaming"

This shirt

This shirt

This shirt

This shirt

This shirt

This shirt

This shirt

This shirt

"Plan for today:

1. Wake up

2. Survive

3. Go to sleep"

Would love to own black one with white letters which says "Big white text"

"Take me to your ruler" with a pencil and pen standing before a ruler wearing a crown.

"Mixing Beets" with a DJ-ing beet.

One that she made herself: "Buy Russian Sushi" with "It's good!" and "It's cheap!" on the sides. Some examples she's been thinking of:

Get thee to a nunnery!

"YOUR STUPID" My stupid what?

Front: "Be Quiet."

Back: That's a euphemism for SHUT THE F*** UP! {{@/Zanreo}} I have a few of these, and looking for more!

Shirt with all of Nintendo's consoles

Front: "Really funny slogan on back". Back: A Rickroll picture.

Mario "Guide to Mushrooms" from Brawl In The Family, with a Goomba, Super Mushroom and Toad on the front, and the back shows Mario stomping on the Super Mushroom, eating a Toad and holding a Goomba, with the text "Try again".

"I tried it at home" with a stickman on fire. This Troper has 3 as of January 1, 2011:

One of the "Life is Crap" line of t-shirts, in which an unfortunate person paddling a kayak finds himself in the pathway of an oncoming battleship.

Souvenir T-Shirt from the new Harry Potter section of Universal Studios (Ravenclaw, bitches!).

And, of course, a Monty Python and the Holy Grail Holy Hand Grenade t-shirt. With full instructions on the back. Epic. Win.

This troper has a shirt that says, "My shirt could beat up your shirt." Reactions to that include holding hands in front of chest protectively and "Is that a CHALLENGE?"

Also one that's a Doctor Who quote 'I'm making PERFECT sense. You're just not keeping up'

This troper has a black shirt that says "GET AWAY FROM ME" in large white letters.

This troper has started a trend in her family. She now owns a "Why are you waving? Run!!!" shirt with a size chart of different dinosaurs and a human over the text, a "In Soviet Russia, zero divides by you!" shirt; her father owns a "So long, and thanks for all the fish" and an "In order to understand recursion, one must first understand recursion," shirt and her mother is getting one (probably history themed) for her birthday. She (this troper, not this troper's mother) is also planning on making some history and geography joke shirts. And yes, this troper's family is quite geeky. Those shirts are all from Snorgtees or ThinkGeek.

This troper has a black shirt with the Poison Mushroom from the Mario series and the words "game over" under it. A girl he knows owns a white shirt with a parody of the Intel logo that reads "Bastard Inside", which goes well with her somewhat jerkish tendencies.

SMDeathwind: Quite fond of these. If only getting all the shirts he wants wasn't so expensive.

"I'm not drunk, I can lay on the floor without holding on!"

CAUTION: This is Sparta.

"I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings."

"Wedding is the only war where you sleep with the enemy."

"Something somewhere went horribly wrong."

Wheelofrally: I have a T-shirt that says, as a crude translation, "County archive clerks persecute me" in Finnish. Quite fond of it.

{{TBK2000}} here, I have one that says: Y_U AR_ AN ID_OT. (Wheel of Fortune style) Would you like to buy a vowel?

Garanik I've got a t-shirt with a Cheshire Cat face, and nothing else. It glows in the dark, so when it's pitch black, all you can see are the eyes and the smile. Quite an effect.

This troper has a shirt that reads "I suffer from cruel and unusual employment." Funnily enough, I bought it at work. I also used to have a shirt with the legend "Sarcasm: just one service we offer."

This troper My sister has a shirt that reads "There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who are good at math and those who aren't" It took her two minutes after reading it to actually get it.

I own a SherlockHolmes T-shirt that reads "You Can't Handle the Sleuth" and a T-Shirt advertising a staring contest between the Weeping Angels and the Silence.

This tropette's got a few:

'''Chuck Norris does my stunts'''

'''I am serious, and don't call me Shirley'''

'''Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, pur, pur, pur'''

A shirt depicting Charlie Brown trying to kick the foot ball, reading '''Epic Fail'''

A shirt with just a chocolate molecule on it

One of this troper's Archaeology classmates returned from a holiday in Rome with a black T-shirt. On it was a stick figure wearing a horned helmet and waving a battle axe while standing on the ruins of the Collosseum. The caption read; "When in Rome, do as the Visigoths did; Happy Sack of Rome day, 24th August, 410AD. IIRC, said classmate was in Rome on the actual anniversary.

"Hand over the chocolate and no one gets hurt"

"Forget about love. I'd rather fall in chocolate"

''[below a picture of a very happy smiley face]'' "I hate you"

"...And then Buffy staked Edward. The end." : Bonus points because a Hot Topic employee complimented it when ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' was first released in theaters.

"I do whatever the voices in my head tell me to do"

''[below a picture of a smiley face with duct tape across his mouth]'' "Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver" : Very common shirt, but it warrants a mention.

This picture.

"My imaginary friends think I have problems"

Picture of a Pacman screen. Not particularly interesting, but it gets a mention because a girl once chased me halfway through a mall to compliment it.

Picture of a chest X-ray with a tiny, creepy robot in the corner. Personal favorite. Honorable mention to sister's T-shirt:

This

"I HEARD that, Curtis!"

"You're in my way, sir."

"Wanna know how to keep an idiot busy? See back of shirt." (Same thing on the back, but change "back" to "front")

Graphic of James Rolfe holding up a box with the words "I LIKE BOXES" painted on it.

"You have gained 1 Reading Experience."

"I'm an assassin. (Shhh!)"

"Pants-on-Head Retarded" with accompanying graphic. This, basically.

"Requiescat in Pace."

Graphics that look like bullet holes and/or sword slashes with the text, "HAH! I still have one HP left!"