I'd like to propose myself. I've gotten hypothermia /twice./ I just never learn, to the chagrin of my friends.

This Troper goes camping on a regular basis, and is often referred to as the pyromaniac of the group. He once decided it would be a good idea if he grabbed a piece of still burning charcoal and tossed it in the fire. Second degree burns ensue.

This troper's (late) fish. She came home to find that it had swam up a filter pipe and suffocated. (or something)

What about Finding Nemo?

The mice this troper's sister feeds her snakes can be considered TooDumbToLive. They generally blunder around until the snake in question coils around them just like *that*. One mouse actually ''jumped into the corn snake's path''!

I once had a fish that would get very excited around feeding time. So much so that he actually leapt ''out'' of his tank more than once!

One of this troper's college housemates had a betta that would throw emo-tantrums whenever she tried to clean his tank, and invariably fling himself out of said tank.

A friend of a friend of this troper told of a house he lived in with a fish who'd jump out for no apparent reason at all. It got to the point where his morning routine looked like, "get up, throw the fish back in the tank, brush teeth".

This troper has a betta as well which frequently got itself stuck in the filter despite numerous attempts by this troper to seal off any crevices it could wiggle into.

This troper's hamster. When he escapes from his cage during the night (a frequent occurrence) he sits in the cat's food bowl, contentedly eating the all the ''other'' delicious treats in it. The hamster is now dead, but only of natural causes. And maybe a little obesity.

This Troper's hamster was ''exactly the same''. She was a friggin' little escape artist, no matter what we did she'd end up getting out and disappearing for days at a time. At the time we had her, we had four other cats, so we always expected her to get eaten. No- We came out into the livingroom one Sunday afternoon and there the little white hamster is, sittin' in the cat's food bowl munching happily away on the kibble. All four cats are looking from her, to us, like "What the hell is that thing?! Get it out of our food!" My dad starts laughing and says "Well, eat it! You're a cat!" All four cats stare at him- as one, "Are you out of your friggin' mind?! I ain't touchin' that!" Said hamster died of natural causes about a year later.

We've run over one or two squirrels who just did a jiggery pokery dance in the middle of the road, not being able to decide on a direction. THUMP THUMP. Just running in one direction would have helped. I fear the day the thumping is a human being because by lord, the people here are dumber then squirrels.

This troper's cat has ''three or four'' bells to prevent her catching birds. Not matter how hard she tries, she can't run, walk, or sneak without jingling. But guess what? We still find what looks like exploded pigeon on our lawn on a regular basis. Combined with their tendency to wait in the middle of the road as a car bears down on them, this troper concludes that the damn birds must simply fit this trope.

This troper's mother has a pet albino kingsnake. Said kingsnake has attempted to eat itself. More than once.

It's an ouroboros in disguise!

And the second time it tried that, it couldn't even get COMPLETE GLOBAL SATURATION ouroboros points: the bugger came in from the side.

Cats. This cat-lover of a driver hates seeing a cat by the side of the road, because she knows, for a fact, that the cat will look hesitantly at the car and decide, five seconds before I reach it, that now is the perfect time to run to the other side. It's as if they're challenging death every time.

I've had multiple moments like this when I was a kid, most notably playing with electrical outlets using metal objects. It still amazes me I'm not dead yet. And then there's the issue of repeatedly failing to notice giant vehicles coming my way, even when sauntering across train tracks...

This troper played with electricity when he was a kid, shocking himself once or twice (maybe the shocks were what made him crazy as to choose electrical engineering).

This troper had a cat that would run out in front of cars, antagonize the neighbor's mean tempered bulldog, eat the most random and harmful objects, and constantly get stuck in or fall from trees. This troper is convinced he was either retarded or suicidal.

This trope fits me to a T. Let's see... I have

Made a saw start spewing out smoke after holding it to a chunk of wood too long.

Made one of my friends jump on a Sprite can out of curiosity.

The first time I roasted marshmallows over an open flame, it was burning when I pulled it back. This freaked me out, so I beat it on the asphalt.

This editor once read from local newspaper, that an 18 year old boy killed himself, when he injected superglue to his veins, thinking that if he can just get his head messed up by sniffing it, injecting it would send him way higher. DarwinAwards material, indeed...

Game example: Consider the Dacians in this troper's Rome Total War campaign games. Dacia has arguably the worst unit set in the game. The warlike Julian clan is currently running roughshod over the Gauls in central Europe, who even weakened could easily curb stomp the Dacians. Their Roman soldiers are the best in the ancient world, and the Julian war machine is loaded for bear and set to full-on warband stomping mode. Their golden boy and probable future leader is a raging psychopath whose idea of a good time is putting the entire population of the Iberian Peninsula to the sword. Obviously, the wisest course of action for the underequipped Dacians is to declare war on these people as soon as possible. In every RTW campaign I've played. Empire-builder AI is notoriously overconfident, but these guys are downright suicidal.

Some of this troper's customers qualify for this. There is a BIG, BOLD Do Not Enter sign blocking the drive up to her bay (she is a heavy equipment mechanic) and another BIG, BOLD sign saying 'Danger: Keep Out' and yet another saying 'Employees Only' strung across the doorways. What do they do? Take down the one sign and try to drive their cars into my bay! One moron ran into a ten ton piece of machinery that I had just finished jacking up and then proceeded to scream at me (as I was trying to pull myself out from under said machine) about how I would be buying him a new car.

SquealingSandry has two stories: Once a shark in the aquarium she worked at pulled the filter-suicide trick described by the first troper on the page. Secondly, in an RPG I played, my character was asked out my a man. Trying to find a way to put him off without lying (she wanted to say "I'm a lesbian" but she was actually straight), she decided to strongly imply it. By saying that he 1) had to ask her female boss for permission and 2) had to visit this website to understand her first. The website was a lesbian porn site. He interpreted it as "Date both you and your boss simultaneously". He then managed to run headlong into a skyscraper when she said yes, because he was talking on the phone with her while flying (he was a superhero).

Because there are some edible plants by campus, a few people have asked me (a horticulture major) whatk inds of stuff they can eat to save money. There was a Yew around one place with berries, and they asked if they were edible. I said, "only the berries"...then several of them plucked the leaves and ate them. I screamed, "ONLY THE BERRIES!!!" several times before they realized that the leaves weren't berries and wound up vomiting. FacePalm. Another time they watched the Bradford and Usserian pears for when they grew pears, only for me to say "You realize those are actually really small fruits and aren't real pears, right?"

This troper's history teacher once told the class a story about someone he went to high school with. That kid thought it would be a HILARIOUS April Fool's Day joke to tie a rope around his neck, stand on top of a pile of cardboard boxes, and pretend to have hung himself to death to spook his sister. Needless to say, the boxes collapsed underneath him after he pretended to be dead for a couple of minutes...

A kid definitely applies. Without looking, he dashed into the street and I had to slam on the brakes to keep from hitting him. Instead of getting out of the way, the idiot just stands there.

This troper, when she was still a little toddler, was amazingly retarded. Somehow or another, I managed to nearly drown in the same pool, ''twice in one day''. Luckily, IGotBetter.

On a yearly (or maybe more) basis, this troper's hometown is pretty much filled with geese. They often get in the way, but in an especially frustrating recent incident, my dad, sister and I were stalled on the way to school by a line of three or four geese, sauntering across the (fairly busy) street as if they had all the time in the world, and there wasn't a line of cars that could easily flatten them at any moment. Luckily for the geese, all the drivers were nice enough to wait for them.

This Troper lives in Michigan. LOTS of Canada geese. Stopping traffic is second-nature to them

This troper recalls hearing a story about a boy who ''ate poison ivy for a dare.'' If the story is to be believed, he wound up in the hospital for it (not sure if he's still there or even if he's still alive)

This troper once saw a piece of news, with a boy almost killing his friend, believing that his friend will ''respawn a-la online games and therefore won't die''.At first he only made a cut on his friend, but figured that he'll be scolded for that, and decided to go kill him anyways.*facepalm*

Me and my dad were walking around the local fair and were just coming out of the commercial building (where many of the businesses set up stands) when we saw something that fits in here perfectly. Across the way from the building we were in was a gas-stove tent with a small gas powered fire pit next to the path (which was paved). As we were leaving the building we saw a kid, probably about 15 or 16, walk up to the fire, stop for a moment, then try to touch the fire (as if to see if it was real). Earlier, when we passed by it, I felt the heat from several feet away, so this fire had to be pretty freaking hot. All we could think to say was something about cavemen. Of course, considering this state is ranked pretty low in terms of education (we're barely beating Mississippi and are losing to Alabama) I shouldn't be all TOO surprised Extra Credit: Try to guess which state I'm talking about using the clues given..

This Troper's puppy. She always runs in the way of an incoming car. Hell, she always gets herself hurt sometimes.

There is a street in town that connects a few parking lots. Apparently people don't relaize that it's actually a big parking lot and go 40mph through it - then wonder why people are diving out of the way or why they're getting pulled over.

"Hey, I can stand on the rim of my bike while riding it! Awesome! I should get a large enough amount of test data to see whether or not it's viable to do this more than onc-- whoops, didn't need that skin anyways." Fuck you, science. You failed me and my bike.

Science also failed me again while out on a nature walk for Environmental Science. Only half an hour to dick around? Grey and going to rain soon? Well, I better finally start heading back. But the quickest way would be on that street across the river. Hey, a railroad track bridge! What an entirely safe way to get across in a hurry! Wait, why are there large gaps between each board? Oh, hey, is that a walkway over there? Why am I all ready in the middle of the bridge? I then got hit by a train and died.

"Hey, these waders are awesome! Take that, muck, your leeches can't get me in my mighty woven barrier! I bet I could walk all the way across the shore to that bridge over there! I mean, this is a pretty shallow lake, and the water's down! Wait, this dock goes out farther than I can walk. Do I take the pussy way out and walk on these fine strangers' land? Hell no, let's grapple onto the dock and shimmy to the other side using my forearms!" And that's when I learned that waders are heavy to walk home in.

I think the moral is that I can't be trusted with power.

This Troper was at a party in someone's back yard, drinking and poking at the coals of a wood fire with a metal rod. One of my friends suggested, jokingly, that I should touch the hot end of the rod. My response? "You think I won't do it. You think I'm too smart. Fuck you." cue 1st degree burn on my palm. I sure showed him.

I, for some reason, whenever there's a busy street, I run across the road, in front of cars, driving to and fro, and surprisingly, I'm not dead.

This Troper once intentionally set her hair on fire.

This troper in elementary school cut his lips open with scissors because he was playing with them close to his mouth. My present self: "WhatWereYouThinking?"

He's also stuck his hand in the light bulb socket of a lamp, also when he was in elementary school. His IQ must have been a lot lower back then.

This troper's dog enjoys chasing squirrels, and will kill them if she catches them (not that she's very good at actually outrunning them). At one point, she chased a squirrel into the woods, whereupon the squirrel ''ran around a tree for thirty seconds'' until the dog caught up to it. Cue dismembered squirrel...

Not a personal occurence, but I think it qualifies. This Tropers Tech teacher was going over safety when he told us about a kid who had decided to stick a paper clip into one of the outlets, giving him a third-degree burn on his fingers. Apparently, when he called the guys parents, they told him that he had also stuck a fork into an outlet before.

This troper's dog. She tries to befriend everything. She's been sprayed by a skunk TWICE and ran into a flock of geese once, causing her to get a really bad bite on her nose. She even tried to run over and say hello to a bear in the backyard at one point.

This troper's cat ended up dying when he journeyed away from home (and he never went too far away from our backyard before this time) and got hit by a car. Even though he could have seen it coming...

I recall my brother saying that someone in his class was taken to the hospital for sniffing a potentially toxic marker... because she wanted to know what would happen.

The hospital? when I sniffed a marker to see what would happen, all that happened was I started drawing dinosaurs and ninjas on my paper

I once went to a school where kids seemed to love this trope. They'd try to get people to do things like run across the street just as a car was passing and dodge the cars, put their hands on the uncovered pencil sharpeners and turn the handle, staple their arms, or lick and huff the tips of possibly toxic markers to see if they could get high. And these were people in what was considered the ''top class.'' In retrospect, I'm glad I was a wimp and too afraid of death to participate.

I'm most likely going to die of a heart attack by shock, as everyone appears to go out of their way to startle me and have suffered from a strange inability to do things like knock on doors. They also don't know that if they're stepping on my property and do not go away when I ask them too, then they are legally trespassing and legally, they are harassing me and I ''can'' legally shoot them if they refuse to go away.

This Troper has been forced to carve a turkey for thanksgiving once. When he dropped the carving knife, he quickly reached out to catch it. I got sticthes, but I caught the knife, so I'm just going to call that a success.