This troper definitely does not have an interest in jerks. She wants to end up with a guy who is nice, honest, and can make her laugh. Also with the case of her friends, one of whom ''did'' end up with a NiceGuy.

A lot of girls like to ''say'' that, and then proceed to swoon over complete douchebags. I'm sorry, but are you ''sure'' you want a good guy?

If she didn't, she wouldn't be posting here. Haven't you notice just how ''short'' this section is in comparison to AllGirlsWantBadBoys? And most of all, look at the titles: All '''GIRLS''' Want Bad Boys as opposed to Single '''WOMAN''' Seeks Good Man. This distinction is intentional. Young girls are driven by hormones and want a bad guy who oozes masculinity and turn him into ReformedRakes. Grown-up, adult, mature-minded, full-blown ''women'' have standards and have grown beyond that level.

A lot of guys like to ''say'' that, but usually that's just because they're pissed that the girl in question isn't returning his affections and is overly eager to see the bad in the guy she chose.

Well someone's a little far down on a certain scale.

This female troper was more your typical bad-boy loving idiot back in her early teens but her main target of affection now are considerate and funny guys with a high intellect. GeekyTurnOn is an option, as with her current boyfriend.

This troper has no interest in jerks. She wants a guy who is smart and not afraid to show it even in front of his friends (but isn't arrogant about it.) She wants a guy who treats her with kindness, honesty, and respect, and who treats her the same in front of his friends as in private (regardless of what they think.) Unfortunately, the {{Jerkass}}es are attracted to this troper, and the good guys are either not interested, taken, or both. *sigh*

Hey I'm always the first, and not currently the second.

[waves] Hi there!

I'm getting in line too!

If there was one thing I've tried my hardest to have faith in, it's that this trope is true. I've tried being an arrogant jerkass to impress women, it didn't work and it made me feel like shit, so I dropped the act. The results doing the opposite were no different. I was still the tongue-tied, cripplingly-shy guy with a heavy dose of nerdiness. Women either relegated me to their stable of boy friends (but not boyfriends) or simply moved on when they realized I was a love-starved nerd. But despite this, I really do want to establish a romantic relationship, built upon a friendship, with a girl. It's kind of sad that this troper tales page has so few stories, and All Girls Want Bad Boys has so many, because I try to convince myself and the misanthropes I know that this trope is the case for most women. Too bad it hasn't gotten me anything but heartache thus far.

It's all about suggestion kid. Try wearing a t-shirt that says "free boyfriend" at front in huge bold letters and perhaps "nice/faithful girls only" in a smaller font. If this works for getting hugs from strangers, you should have no problems getting a relationship this way and all you have to do is walk around town and do whatever you normally do. Neat, huh? In fact I'm slapping myself of not trying this as a teen for fear of only being seen as desperate and failing miserably. 'Wish I hadn't a girlfriend now. 'Could have tried it out.

Christian Chandler is that you?

I know "keep trying" doesn't sound helpful, but I got my first girlfriend by doing exactly that. (She even slipped her number into my coat pocket. That NEVER happens to me.) Might I recommend the hand kiss if you judge it appropriate. Shallow chicks are repulsed by it but real women blush over it.

Guys, try it. This thing WORKS!

This is the OP here. Thanks, but I've never been able to spontaneously show displays of affection. For some reason, everything I say or do has to be calculated five or six steps ahead, because I admittedly have a paralyzing fear of embarrassment. I can barely manage to squeak out a "You look nice today" before sheepishly withdrawing. I don't know if that makes me dishonest or simply a coward, but the kiss on the hand is outside my ability. Hell, I can barely compliment a woman without fretting over whether she thought it was creepy or not. I'm fine if the woman is my friend, but as soon as thoughts of romantic relationship take hold, all bets are off. It's like running head first into a brick wall, over and over, until the end of time...

Well then, what about appearance and hygiene? Why do you think, say... Sephiroth is so damn popular?

Umm This lurker here (not meant in a weird way or anything) think you sound really adorable!!! Don't give up hope, I'm positive there will be some girl out there that will surely think so too. Shyness isn't a bad thing, but you should have more confidence in yourself, there may be instances where you might get shot down, but remember that you are a good person, because you genuinely seem like one from what little I can read...okay?

You are clearly a male version of me.

OP here again. It's been months, and no progress. Met a girl, talked to her, she was friendly, I was interested, tried saying something, but couldn't. Girl went away. Met another girl, talked to her, she was friendly, I was interested, turns out she was taken and the boyfriend was a genuinely nice guy. Still friends with girl. Met a third girl, talked to her, she was friendly, I was interested, tried to say something, but couldn't. Too nervous, sweaty palms, dry mouth, cracking voice. Rinse, repeat; rinse, repeat. So, yeah, nothing's changed. I do sometimes wonder if any girls have their eyes on me, though. Nothing says this trope can't be gender-flipped, and AllLoveIsUnrequited works both ways...

You could be describing this troper to a T.

From how you describe yourself, you sound like a male ShrinkingViolet. As someone who used to have that crippling form of shyness, it would probably be best to gain some self-confidence and work on some CharacterDevelopment first, ''before'' trying to woo a girl. Try getting some help from your parents or a close friend to help you to be more out-going and sorting out any personal issues you might have that might be causing your shyness. Once you do that, try taking it up a notch and be more assertive and independent. In the meantime, you can figure out the kind of girl you like instead of just settling for anyone who seems nice or shows interest. And if you ever do develop feelings for a girl, don't dawdle and tell her ASAP! Too many people make the mistake of holding their feelings in instead of just getting it over with.

Gender Flipped with this troper, he is a single man who seeks a good woman. ^_^

I think there are a lot of us, actually, but it's just so bloody difficult to find a "good woman" nowadays. There's just this weird trend that jerkassery is a sign of self-confidence and strength, and it applies also to women. (Don't accuse me of generalizing, I know there are actual good women in the world, but I'm describing what I see in everyday life). This troper finds it absolutely disgusting, to the point where I find "bad girls" dreadfully boring and unoriginal. Yep, people, the world has come to this - kindness of heart and good will (and most of all, appreciation of the two) are now more original than being a so-called "rebel". So, girls... I wholeheartedly encourage you all to be as original as possible.

This tropette's got no interest in jerks, yet I only seem to attract them and strange people. I ''almost'' found my good man, but there was a wall there that not even I could break down. =(

Have faith: there'll be someone waiting for you somewhere. Until then... *Hug*

OP here. ''My god. Thank you.'' I really needed that. :D

I'm perpetually single, too. Don't worry about it, it will eventually work out. And when you do find that someone, your life will be richer with their presence. :)

A friend of this tropette once bemoaned while drunk that girls weren't interested in him because he's too nice of a guy (which is true--he's a total WhiteKnight type). Meanwhile, I wanted to beat him over the head with something because I was (and still am) pretty head-over-heels for him; he was just too drunk and lost in his own misery to see my obvious flirtations.

I think the reason that so many guys have trouble getting girls when they are nice is that they are too nice and don't make their intentions apparent. Being an asshole will be even less likely to work. Just try being yourself guys don't worry about what you think girls like because we are all different and like different things. You could be a complete nerd. Guess what, NerdsAreSexy. You could be interesting in something most people haven't heard of, so start a conversation about it. Don't be a ShrinkingViolet and do not be an ass. Just be yourself.

This (different) troper would like to point out, as a nerdy guy, it is surprisingly difficult to start a conversation in the first place. I'm currently friends (and, hopefully, the love interest) of a girl who sits next to me in English, but I find it difficult to talk to her normally, as I am a naturally quiet person (which is ironic, as I quite enjoy acting) and usually weights up entire sentences before even opening my mouth, which makes it difficult to even know what to say to her (admittedly, I might be a bit of an extreme case). So, girls, if a guy never talks in a lesson, but seems interested in it, try asking him about it instead of patently expecting him to start it, as he might not know how to even start the conversation. (As an interesting aside, according to the theory of language, the language of men and the language of women has been described as roughly like two different cultures and that conversation between the two genders is like a cross-culture conversation, not too dissimilar to a Frenchman speaking to an Latin-American. This should explain why there are so many people falling out over small things between the two genders. If this helps anyone in the future understand their spouse's reason for taking offence to what you believe to be an innocent comment, or help girls or guys understand why people of the opposite gender have difficulty in knowing what to say to the other, I'll be relieved. But, I digress slightly.)

That mars and venus stuff seems awfully outdated. She's a human woman, not a freaking panther. A woman who may, by the way, be every bit as anxious and insecure as you are with the opposite gender. Also, well, expecting the other person to make the first move is likely to lead to dissapointment, more often than not.

(Second poster again) I was just pointing out that language theorists have compared the two ways of speaking in both genders and found them different enough that potential confusion can occur between the two genders: for example, women say "Hmm" to show they are listening (usually at pauses in conversation, as a means of being cooperative with the speaker: this is known as backchanneling), whilst men generally use it to show agreement (see Robin Lakoff's essay on women's language if you have a few spare hours for full details). As to the second point...well, I agree with it, but knowing something doesn't make it any easier to overcome the problem: knowing that you live in a country where no native spiders are poisonous doesn't mean you'll stop being afraid of them. If I caused offence to anyone by my original post and in this one, I apologise.

Know what, guys? This troper's female friend said something very thought-provoking the other day. "The saying that nice guys finish last and bad boys finish first is true mostly in bed". Several other friends heard that, and I'm getting the feeling that it really made them think... But girls, don't take her word for it. Try it yourself ^^

Well, I'm a tall, overweight, awkward man with a lot of BlueAndOrangeMorality, so I don't know where I fall between the target areas for this and for AllGirlsWantBadBoys, except that it's way outside both. However, I have some more respect for followers of SingleWomanSeeksGoodMan by default, as I find this attitude at least marginally understandable - Rottenvenetic

Aw. I think it's ''pitiful'' that this page is so short. For what it's worth, though, I would take a less attractive NiceGuy over a JerkJock any day--and so would my sexiest female friends. One of them landed her NiceGuy, and they're the most HappilyMarried couple I've ever been around. Oh, and hand-kissing is ''adorable''. Seriously, I would fall like a ton of bricks for the sort of guy who'd do that. (Too bad the only men who notice me are cute-but-creepy jerks...)

Single man seeks good woman. Will love and cherish. Hold and comfort. Laugh with. Cry with. Free to good home

This troper is in a relationship with an attractive and intelligent woman who admits that she fell in love with his honesty, empathy and sense of honor. It may take more time, but the results will be more than worth it. Just don't confuse being genuinely nice with acting like a codependent stalker.

This tropette, despite having very little faith left in the human race, is a firm believer in this trope. I don't care if you're a man or a woman, fat or skinny, tall or short, hot or ugly. What I wany is a guy (or girl) who's nice, sensitive, and cares about me, who loves me for who I am. So far, I've had no luck at all. All of the classmates who've shown an interest in me have been bad boys (or girls). While the cynic in me wants to believe I won't find a good man (or woman), I still try to believe that someday I'll get my happy ending.

This Troper is happy to see she's not the only one who seeks good man...sadly, I've surrendered to accepting that I'll be single forever, since I'm not all that pretty (even been called 'deformed'.), and already 23. Doesn't help either that I live in a fairly shallow-minded city. Although, all the (few) guys I know are really nice and definitely not JerkAss personalities, so there's still hope...

This troper always finds herself falling for the polite, sweet types. All of her serious crushes are the sort who could be aptly described as gentlemanly. Nothing is more attractive than kindness.

This troper used to think it's the opposite, until a close friend helped me realize through conversation that most of the women I used to like weren't dating jerks, but average dudes who I wished were jerks in my mind. One guy, for example, had an irrational dislike of comic books, hated kittens and had a habit of forgetting important dates. For a while that was enough to make me go WhatDoesSheSeeInHim but eventually I found out he more than made up for it by having a stable job, being reliable at doing household chores as well as being a fantastic chef. He, and so many others, weren't bad, just people who aren't perfect. One of them might have genuinely been a {{Jerkass}}, but for the most part they were average dudes who can be 'good' or 'bad' at different times, and their companions noticed the 'good' bits that others (like me) didn't. Also, this troper was painfully unaware he was making other people uncomfortable by being too emotional until this same friend pointed it out to me in this same conversation. Oops. Well, least I know for sure I'm not perfect either.