Pulling an all-nighter at my music business academy, my friend made what he simply called "slugs", described as, shots with enough sugar to give you a quick boost and enough caffeine to carry you to the next one. Apparently, it was twice brewed coffee mixed with instant hot cocoa mix served in a 6 ounce dixie cup and kept in the blast chiller after brewing. It took about 8 to get me through the night, they tasted good, and there were no adverse side effects, minus a bit of the jitters the next day during class.

Being the junior man in the Battalion office, I was assigned to get the coffee started. Since no one in my family drinks the stuff, I wasn't clear on the instructions other than "Put the coffee in the filter and add water to the top". So I ''filled'' the filter with grounds and ran it. The result nearly knocked the Command Sergeant-Major off his chair. When I asked what to do with it: #QUOTE# '''CSM:''' Give it to the Armor guys, they can use it to lube a tank. #QUOTE# '''Me:''' Understood, Sergeant-Major. #QUOTE# '''CSM:''' I was ''kidding''. Dump it in the sink and do another. Just ''two'' scoops, this time.

Wait a minute: you made coffee that was too strong for the Army??

Helluvan achievement, huh? I believe the word "biohazard" came up at least once.

The real question is if it's too strong for a group of LARPers. One group from the large event held annualy doesn't actually sleep during the [=Thursday-Monday=] stint at the site and instead spends the OOC time scouting the sites layout and planning. Appropriately they're Klatchian Assassins. Apparently one or two of them have taken to snorting crushed energy tablets and popping pro-plus like no tomorrow. One was hospitalised not long ago due to his caffeine levels and the detox lasted several months. Their addictions aside, they're known for alternating between matrix characters and Chaos warriors (same dialogue as CSM from dawn of war).

This Troper's friends once made a drink that probably qualifies despite not actually being coffee. It was called MDT, and was Irish breakfast tea made with Mountain Dew. One friend almost threw up, another had a giddy high, and a third nearly passed out.

This Troper does not drink coffee except after nightmares. This troper has friends who worship Klatchian coffee with specifically picked grains and condensed milk. This troper has a bad dream. This troper did not sleep for a month after drinking something so thick is was like treacle.

This Troper's mother once drank 17 cups of very, very strong filter coffee (sort of like espresso) one night, while studying for an Physiology test. The next morning she started vomiting and shaking. The doctor there thought she might have been doing drugs until she told her what she'd been drinking. To be fair, she was unfamiliar with Indian coffee, and generally had a pretty strong tolerance.

I start by stating: I am Italian, and the coffee I refer to is what in the rest of the world is called "espresso" (which is not what we Italians call espresso - but I digress.) I once had a university exam postponed by three days, only to find it would have been based on some topic I had not even read once. Figuring that 72 hours would have been enough to powerstudy it, I managed to ingest enough coffee to go for three days without a wink of sleep. The last 24 hours I spent drinking a coffee every half hour (do the math) and using such tricks as "student coffee" (made with an espresso coffee machine, filled with espresso coffee instead of water: basically, coffee squared. In Italy, it's more popular than it would seem with people that need to stay awake.)

I met someone at college who made some HORRIBLE coffee to begin with, similar to the first example on this page. He did the twice-brewed "student coffee" trick above with his infamous brew for an all-nighter before a test. Things got strange the next morning at the exam and he wasn't quite right in the head for the next two days.

This troper doesn't drink coffee and thus has little experience making it. Once when I worked in a youth hostel, I had to serve coffee to a group of students who had been on a beer binge the previous night. I didn't know how to operate the industrial coffee machine but the head cook was running late so I decided to wing it. It later turned out that I had used more than four times the required amount of coffee, but the students were grateful; my brew had instantly cured their hangovers. :-)

A Bellingham, WA coffee cart came up with a caffeine-based GargleBlaster called "Murder on the Afri Express" - 4 shots of espresso added to Afri cola (a highly caffeinated German cola) and chocolate to kill the taste. My twin had one before a long road trip and was up for 48 hours straight.

This troper still remembers one time that he helped college buddies make a movie, with the generous help of a local nightclub. Coffee was needed, but the nightclub offered only their building-not their bartender or their kitchen. An industrial strength recirculating urn was discovered in a closet, and an arts student was sent to fetch the required consumables. He did, and before long "COFFEE'S ON" resounded through the building. This troper was the first to grab a mason jar, take a sip... and spit. Followed by profuse obscenities, and the demand of "What the hell did you buy?" What did he buy? Well, let's see, the buyer was an artsy type, and so grabbed the most artsy-sounding stuff he could lay his hands on... French Roast. The darkest, most intense roast your average grocery store carries. Which we had loaded, double strength, into a recirculating urn that had been built for light American roasts. We all proceeded to compound the beverage by adding immense amounts of sugar and artificial creamer, resulting in a legendary caffeine and sugar high.

Sorry but I just have to point out that French Roast is not THAT strong! I drink it every day without any noticeable effect. Without milk or sugar, thank you very much. Of course I'm Swedish and therefore have a built up immunity.

It is if you're not expecting it, and you're drinking it by the quart jar...

French roast tastes like charcoal. There are plenty of people who like that, don't get me wrong, but it's like drinking a forest fire. If you want that much smoke, that's what Lapsang Souchong tea is for...

French Roast is not all that strong in general... the darker the roast, the ''less'' caffeine. I used to work in a hotel, doing banquet setup (carrying tables, moving stages, that sort of thing). I was once walking across the hotel, when someone popped out of a conference room and barked "You! Coffee! Now!". Now, this was no part of my job, but if he'd asked nicely, I'd have been happy to get someone to get it for him. So, I went and made some for him. Took the coffee bags for the giant industrial coffee maker (made ~8 gallons at once) and put it into the small one-pot machine, filling the filter entirely. Ran it through a brew, and it gave me about half a pot of coffee. I dumped that back into the top and ran it through again, then replaced the coffee and filter and ran THAT through again. By that time, it was so dark that it was beginning to bend light around it. I put it on a cart with the spoons it didn't eat and some cream (that was huddled in fear as far away as possible) and sugar, parked it outside the door, knocked, and ran like hell. I expect it climbed out of the pot when someone tried to pour it and kicked all their butts. At the time, I didn't drink coffee, or I'd have tried it a little, but it really was frightening. One pot of extremely dense coffee 'brewed' from two pounds or so...

That story is incredible. Thank you.

Oddly, I'm immune to the effects of caffeine. I do have one coffee story, though: my roommate also likes Folgers, which is too high-acid for me. Then I had to explain what 'acid' meant in coffee terms.

What ''does'' acid mean in coffee terms?

This troper's mother drinks Klatchian ''Tea'' by leaving the teabag in (squeezing it out to increase the strength) and adding milk and sugar. It resembles runny yellow clay.

This troper is still waiting for a true cup of Klatchian coffee, or something equivalent. Closest Ive ever come is consuming a two-liter filled with Nos, Redbull, Cocaine and No Fear(all energy drinks of course), percolated through with some nitrous oxide to enhance the flavor and bubbly effect, chased with three shots of chocolate espresso and a couple 200mg caffeine pills. What happened? 5 hrs of normal awake with some slightly enhanced reflexes, then I got bored and tired, feel asleep. My kingdom for *REAL* stimulants!

You are not ''normal,'' my friend.

One of the side effects of coffee, especially when brewed strong, is a stimulation of the lower bowel. This may cause frequent and urgent trips to the bathroom, especially amongst individuals unused to the effect. This troper's regular morning brew, when a skimming from the bottom (perhaps 1/3 cup?) is diluted with milk, causes this reaction within ten minutes when his other half drinks it. It has also been known to cause violent shaking. This troper finds it to be delicious, especially when he has Ethiopian Harrar available.

Coffee doesn't seem to work on this troper at all. If she's sleepy, she can drink a bucket of espresso and go to sleep. Instead she drinks tea. Strong enough to keep her awake when nothing else does.

That also happens to Tropers/{{JET73L}}, to the point that coffee and strong, sugar-free tea are used as relaxants. The troper enjoys extremely strong coffee, and has tried running the already-made coffee through a coffeemaker twice, adding another half-serving of grounds each time (it was delicious). Messed with ''hard'' once: The troper had been without more than a cup or two of coffee at a time for several months thanks to a broken coffee maker, and drank nearly a full pot worth of strong coffee at a party. The troper spent the evening stoned on caffeine, and the morning hallucinating, headachey, nauseous, and wishing for a HideousHangoverCure.

This Troper one made a tea that had the Klatchian Coffee effect on her; an Irish breakfast tea, black, made with lukewarm tapwater, the bag NEARLY TORN OPEN INTO THE CUP. Within five minutes, her hands were violently shaking and her muscles spasmodically tightening. Not to mention, it was four and the morning and she wa running of around five hours of sleep within two days to begin with...

This troper worked for Starbucks for three years and saw many a redeye (espresso in drip coffee) go out the door, but nothing ever quite captured the bizarreness of one supervisor's bottomless espresso. After about eight shots, said supervisor was barking out random meaningless orders that the other two of us on shift largely ignored.

This troper has an emergency standby that he calls "Rocket Fuel": strong black coffee, circulated twice through the machine and carried to school in a thermos canister (bonus points if it started brewing around 3AM). Between that and fatigue, he still has memories of involuntary hand tremors during high school Junior Year. Also, his preferred homebrew cappuccino involves two scoops of cappuccino powder and one spoonful of instant coffee for a very strong brew. Strangely, he's not a caffeine addict and can survive just fine without coffee at all.

This troper has a few stories, mostly from high school.

There was something called "The Goddess Brew", which is made by heating (in the microwave) about a pint of milk. To this, approximately a quarter cup each of instant coffee, instant hot chocolate, and sugar are added. Optionally, add the same amount of licorice jelly beans. Serve piping hot with a glass of cold milk on the side (one sips the Goddess Brew and drinks the milk), or cool in a water bottle, shared with all one's friends.

Then there was an escalating series of drinks made by the local Calvin, starting with "Death Swill" (the strongest coffee the school coffee-vending machine could be made to exude), "Life Swill" (the sweetest and strongest), and winding up with "Liquid Satan", which involved several shots of espresso, cooked down to concentrate it (which may have reduced the caffeine) and with instant coffee powder added. It was then served in crack vials (bought specifically for the purpose from the local head shop).

In college, the sleep deprivation from a basically full time job, a full class load, a bit of an internet habit, and being half the quasi-parental care for a four-year-old started to catch up. So there was caffeine. There was a lot of caffeine. Then one morning I came in to school and faceplanted in the cafeteria. The best friend fetched a can of ice-cold Mountain Dew, applied it to the back of my neck to get me to sit up. I chugged it and faceplanted again. That was enough to scare me into having no more caffeine (though I did still have chocolate) for six months.

Then I discovered chocolate-covered espresso beans. Later on, I made a particularly strong batch of The Goddess Brew, and used it to wash down a few beans, before going out for a night on the town with some friends. By 8am the following morning, I was attempting to sleep, failing, feeling my heart race rather bumpily, and crying from exhaustion because I just wanted to sleep but couldn't.

A friend downed several pots of coffee while trying to quit smoking. Reportedly, he spent a few nights sleeping (or attempting to) on the balcony, on the grounds that his bed was conspiring to kill/eat him.

When writing, I brew up strong tea with twice the usual amount of black tea, and some orange spice tea for flavor, and much too much sugar. Wires me to hell and back, but oh so good!

@/{{Farseer Lolotea}}'s coffee has apparently become something of a minor legend.

ThisTroper once tried coffee for the first time on a school field trip. #QUOTE#Me: (After taking small sip of coffee.) Hmm. Its not ''that'' great. #QUOTE#Me: (After finishing the whole cup.) ''Oh, my God, this stuff is awesome, I can't stop moving, its like my body is on vibrate, canIhavesomemoreinalittlewhilethisistotallyamazinghahaha hargle flargle bargle larg!''

At my college, they leave the kitchens open 24 hours a day during finals so students can get snacks and drinks. There's always coffee on the burner, which may have sat there for the past 24 hours, and the coffee becomes thicker and burneder. And since they've run out of milk, I've cut the cup of coffee I've got right now with cocoa powder. It possesses the consistency of thin pudding, and drinking it is a bit like being smacked in the face.

This troper had Turkish coffee during lunch with a friend. The mug was slightly larger than her pinky). Half an hour after drinking it, she started babbling about anything that caught her attention and practically bouncing off the walls. She couldn't get to sleep until midnight, at which she almost literally passed out.

Past techies at my high school were somewhat of Mountain Dew addicts. One preferred beverage was the "Sugar Shot": A can of Dew, with two or three Pixi Stix added to approach the energy content of a two-liter. Now we mostly drink straight Dew, but still... We once had 14 or 15 people go through 200 cans in 2 days.

In the past years, this troper sometimes suffered from insomnia. When this happened, he tried to counter the drowsiness with a cup of coffee. Usually, this had no appreciable effects. One day, he decided to try the coffee from a coffee machine at his school. That coffee woke his body, but not his mind. He still felt drowsy, unable to concentrate and unable to think fast, but he ''also'' felt jittery, with an overwhelming urge to run around, do lots of stuff and do it fast.