This troper and his friend both have pretty serious depression. At least once a day or so one of us declares that we need a drink, which is immediately followed by the other saying that he needs two drinks.

Said by this troper's friend after a particularly bad day. Made funny when another friend proceeded to pull a bottle of vodka from her purse. In class. At high school.

Had the exact happen, except the friend said she needed a smoke and her friend pulled out a pack of cigarettes, and it was at lunch. I immediately started praying that the school's cop didn't happen by. (the guy could arm-wrestle a gorilla)

Replace "A drink" with "a smoke" and you get 50% of this troper's workmates. It's annoying.

Said verbatim several times during and after rough nights working at a restaurant. A variant, muttered during this troper's first time on a high ropes course, "I'm not drunk enough for this."

This troper, following an especially gruelling three-hour exam, once joined in the group of grousing classmates with, "I could really use a smoke right now." Subverted in that a chivalrous young man offered her one, and she waved it away saying, "I don't, actually, but I wish I had some sort of equivalent."

Protip: this may turn not turn out as well as you might think. ...Let's just leave it at that.

No kidding. Doing this used to get ''really'' out of hand for me, didn't do me any good.

Replace "a drink" with "some caffeine," and you have 99% of college students.

So f*cking true... This troper - when having a moment of {{Facepalm}} - gets a coffee as soon as he can. Yeah, caffeine addiction is powerful....

Replace coffee with orange juice, and you got this troper.

Replace "some caffeine" with "a drink" and you also have most college students. :p

Replace "replace" with "combine" and you also have quite a few college students. Okay, this is getting old.

Caffeine actually calms this troper down, so this is a reason for me.

This with bubble tea and / or coffee is why the local Starbucks and teashop do insane business during finals week at this troper's high school.

I said this one day over at my brother's house when we were all watching Sex and the City.

Well, this troper can't drink, seeing she's fourteen... so instead, she always says "I need some freaking chocolate milk..."

Fourteen is a good age to start dealing with your problems like an adult. After all, becoming an alcoholic is like becoming an Olympic swimmer: You need years and years of practice to really get it right.

It's also like cutting off your own limbs. You ''could'' do it, but it'll make things extraordinarily worse.

This troper's catchphrase. As a university student, he doesn't drink caffeine, he just drinks beer. Srysly.

This troper utters this more than any other phrase, often with the addendum "Who has my freaking gin..."

This troper finds herself grumbling the phrase in question under her breath at least once a shift. She's twenty... and works for the ''police''. This may end badly, someday, given her supervisor's tendency to sneak up like a middle-aged portly ''ninja'' while she's working....

This troper, having had a bad day at work, once declared, "I want to get DRUNK!" to several friends. This was met with mingled amusement and worry -- Troper can't have alcohol because of her medication, so to get drunk would be taking her life in her hands. She didn't, mostly on account of the fact that she doesn't like alcohol anyway, but she sure wanted the buzz.

This troper has to fight comfort eating when she is upset. She also has a character in a game, after finding out that the slightly depressed amnesiac who she just met is her missing god and now very, very fallen (hell, his mortal name is Nick Scratch) with at least one personality that can take over at any time, and she knows there are probably more including the Devil himself. She concluded this was a wonderful time to start drinking.

Getting out of a 4 hour chemistry final in college, 5 of us walked down the street to a Mexican restaurant for the express purpose of food and alcohol. End of the next term, a bunch of us got out of our last final and went to the bar across the street. With the professor. Now, at the end of every finals week, I get home and crack open a beer and just vegetate for a while.

Happened after a massive fight with this troper's best friend. She had started a fight with him, apparently for no reason, over her going to prom with her boyfriend (of two days) instead of this troper, who had bought her ticket for her. She immediately cut off contact with him after going on a rant about how much she hated him and never wanted to talk to him again, all through texts sent to him at lunch during school. When he got home, he took advantage of the fact that he was home alone for 4 hours (without his ultra-paranoid mother screaming at him about alcoholism) to pop a Bacardi Silver. For all those of you worrying, don't fret. It's about 4% ABV and this troper is pretty much immune to alcohol, so one bottle did nothing but slightly calm him.

This troper said the precision f-bomb version to his dad during one visit. We ended up at his favorite brew pub.

Bitch took my rum the other day... Now INeedAFreakingDrink.

I said this after watching about the first five minutes of MariaHolic, I then proceeded to get a drink... of water.

First words uttered after Marine Corps boot camp - "I need a fucking drink, man."

This troper is a member of his uni's drama groups Stage&Props team, and has stashed a half-bottle of elderflower aquavit in the props room to invoke the trope the next time the bastard director asks for another last-minute rebuild.

As a lighting operator, this Troper feels you. Our lovely SM keeps a bottle of rum in the tech cupboard ... for ''after'' the show, of course.

This troper has uttered " I need a cigarette" when extremely tired. Strangely enough he doesn't smoke.

As anyone who has ever taught kindergarden will tell you, there are those (occasionally frequent) days when you grab all your coworkers and head for the nearest bar. It was a rule at the school this troper taught at last winter that ''any'' day that involved bodily fluids or field trips was an automatic INeedAFreakingDrink night.

All things considered, there ''are'' worse ways to deal with the stress of teaching kindergarden then booze.

This Troper has been like this for years...and he's only 19! Oddly enough, he's actually had the chance to drink- and has actually been formally invited to do so- on several occasions but he always refuses. Why, you might ask? Because he made a promise to an ex-girlfriend back when they were together that he would never drink. He wonders why he even bothers to keep it when she turned out to be a manipulative psychobitch. Let him put it like this: He is very, ''very'' forgiving. It is very difficult to make him upset, angry, or anything of the kind. If you wrong him, usually all it takes is a very simple "I'm sorry" and all is right with the world once more and he will shower you with affection once more. Now, keeping these things in mind... He has not spoken a single word- not a "Hello", not a "Merry Christmas", Not. A. Single. Word, to this woman for '''''three years'''''. That should tell you how badly she wronged him. It's a common joke amongst his friends that he has much more reason to drink then all the rest of them put together- but he hasn't touched a drop in the entirety of his life. RealLife Sam Vimes, maybe?

Every time this troper has her period. She typically doesn't drink, but during these times she ''craves'' it like she craves red meat. Just one is enough interestingly enough, that is, until the next month comes around.

Quite recently, this troper had a day that started off shitty, and got worse. Three hours after waking up, this troper tweeted "It's 9 o'clock, and I need a freakin' tequila." As the day got worse and worse, he continued tweeting tequila-related one liners, ending the day with "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor."

{{Miso}} and family took a trip to Florida one time. After going through Atlanta, in the rush hour, in pouring rain, her father pulled over at a hotel, and after saying "We're stopping here- I don't care ''how'' much it costs for a room!" said a variant of this: "I need to start drinking. Heavily." Her mom responded with "Yes, you do!"

This Troper has some...let's say, wacky friends, and "I need a stiff drink" is pretty much his catch phrase. And he doesn't even know what a stiff drink is...

My stage crew has only one drill. After a long frustrating day where our drill shortage crippled our productivity, I finally shouted "I NEED A FRICKIN' DRILL!" without being aware of the connections to the TropeNamer. So everyone on crew now says "I need a frickin' drill" in places where most people would request a smoke or drink.

This troper's story: It's monday. Blurkh. There was nothing on the homework list on Friday - he even asked several teachers if there were any assignments for Monday, at which they all smiled and said no. He should'a known. So, he gets to school on Monday... surprises tests for four subjects! Huzzah! Cue him reaching into his pocket, frowning, and muttering "I need a frikkin' cigarette."

This troper is nonalcoholic and a nonsmoker. He relies on sugar instead. "I need a freaking marsbar..."

This troper, hideously frustrated at the conundrum a friend has gotten himself in, especially because it involves two other friends, said: "Fuck it, I need a drink." and poured himself roughly 3 shots of Scotch into a glass.

This Troper is like this when it comes to stupid/arbitrary school projects, but with root beer/any soda. God, I needed that stuff just to sit down to work on my senior project....

This Troper heard this and said it at a party that turned bad after one of the people there revealed he had to be at a swim meet in 4 hours....and was blind drunk to the point that I literally had to pick him up and throw him outside so he could barf. As I closed the door on him, I heard a girl at the party say "Fuck this, I'm not drunk enough to deal with this anymore." And grab another beer. This troper has simply decided he isn't drunk enough to deal with reality on most days, and as such, needs a freaking drink.

This editor doesn't do alcohol (religious factor, scarily strong family history of alcoholism, hate the taste), but if she's having a bad day and you value your life, DO NOT get between her and the nearest chocolate.

This troper used to have a seven-AM Relevancy in Literature class, and we were due to be watching an excerpt about propaganda from a Family Guy episode. The teacher was so tired that he didn't check to see if the right DVD was in. Cue the sniper scene from Schindler's List (which was what the 10th-grade AP World Lit class was watching the day before). The silence was deafening for about ten minutes, until the teacher, in a wavering voice, said, "I need a freaking drink."

When her parents are acting particularly strange during dinner, this troper will turn to her brother and say "pass the freaking milk/chocolate milk/Kool-Aid..." with a tone that essentially sounds like this trope. Alternatively, she'll say "yeah, shut up and keep drinking" with the hopes ''they'll'' get drunk enough to stop the stupidity (in jest of course, because usually her dad gets more obnoxious the drunker he is).

When this troper learned her parents were having her cat put down and refused to change their minds, she cranked her stereo and went to work on a bottle of rum. When her roommate knocked on the door to ask her to turn the music down, he tried to take the booze away, at which point she said, "You can join me or you can fuck off." He joined her when he heard the story of why she was drunk and crying.

This troper uses this phrase very often, especially if her parents are acting stupid. She never goes through with it but if she has had a really bad day, she usually drinks tea. Lots of tea.

This Troper, during some idiotic drama between his mom and his sister that he had to fix, was taken by the urge not to drink, but to smoke. He bummed a few Cowboy Killers off of a friend and smoked through all of them. It was one of those rare times this troper wanted to do something he utterly reviles.

This troper said "I need a fucking drink" BEFORE his Spanish final, as his Spanish is significantly better when he's intoxicated. He aced it.

This troper spent her last spring vacation visiting family out in North Carolina. Exposure to her family for that long is interesting enough, but the drive home nearly killed us. After a particularly grueling stretch of driving, involving a three hour detour through the Appalachians because of a rockslide and a crappy GPS system, we arrived at our stop for the night after nearly ten straight hours of driving with an incessantly barking dachshund in the backseat. This troper's first words upon entering her elderly aunt's house? "I need a freaking drink NOW." The best part was the fact that, despite only being nineteen at the time, her aunt brought her two glasses of wine with dinner, and another two during the conversation afterward. Not really a wine fan, but I'll be damned if it didn't hit the spot.

When stressed and tense, especially in the grey area after a panic attack or immediately preceding one, this troper has a history of self-mutilating. Yeah, bad habit, that. It's discomforting ''not'' to have a way to consciously flip my emotional switches into the off position, so you often get me saying "I need a fucking drink" or "I wish I smoked". Despite doing neither of these, and having a family history of tobacco-related cancers and alcoholism that means I most likely never will.

Being too young to drink alcohol, I tend to have tea instead. Often said as a joke on a good day (more accurately, "Can I wake up now? I want my tea.")

This Troper drank Orange juice after failing Snakeman Terror missions 3 times in a row in XCom

Since This Troper is too young to actually drink anything alcoholic, she just has a glass of milk instead.

After passing the Microsoft Certified Desktop Technician Exam? Yeah, first thing this Troper requested. Told the barmaid "I just passed the Test From Hell. Surprise me." Ended up with some ungodly strong UmbrellaDrink. Good thing I wasn't driving. This Troper ''also'' had a couple shots of Yukon Jack after her twin and twin's (then) boyfriend convinced her that they'd eloped. (I did not approve of my future brother in law at the time)

This Troper, whenever annoyed or stressed, groans, "I need rootbeer now." It's like alcohol to me.

After a particularly tough last year of school emotionally. This troper played with this trope alot last year (09, she was legal). she Never actually drank, just thought about drinking, something. Note: it was never said aloud.

This troper, when working on papers/projects, can often be heard muttering this. Until alcohol was available, Mountain Dew served quite nicely.

This Troper says this (albeit with many more expletives) on a regular basis. Despite typically carrying around a hip flask, he usually substitutes coffee for alcohol, at least until the end of the day. The flask is reserved for only extreme situations. And night accounting courses.

I've only had this happen once so far, after a discussion on airline security took a sudden and incredibly depressing turn for the worse.

I don't do this so much now, but back in high school caffeine was literally the only way to get through the day. (My body kept flip-flopping between insomnia and hypersomnia.) This let, naturally, to my most common reply to stress being "I don't have enough caffeine to put up with this." Sometimes with more colorful language, but also in a tone that implied this trope. I still use it now and then, just not nearly as much, since caffeine is one of my few pleasures in life. Bad day? Coffee solves those woes!

This troper and his roommate always have a bottle of "Emergency Bourbon" on our shelf for the very purpose of this trope. It is only to be drank when one invokes this trope. Otherwise, we just drink what's in our liquor cabinet.

Said so often around here, we should check ourselves into rehab.

This troper turned eighteen (legal drinking age in Australia) and it was a shit day. And a few of my friends took me out after class. They bought me eighteen tequila shots and I will never, ever forget their kindness to me.

This 15-year-old Troper says this phrase occasionally, but I tend to reach for a good cup of cocoa or a mocha. (2 packs of instant hot chocolate mixed with hot coffee and maybe some milk... yum!) Yes, I feel much better after having one. On another note, I feel that in this case, "freaking" actually holds more weight than a PrecisionFStrike, maybe because the emphasis is supposed to be on "drink" and not "freaking".

This trooper was among many people trying to work out the skit our theater group was going to do. At some point, one of the kids starts to fake cry and goes "I need a freaking drink." He pauses, then says, "Where's my water bottle?"

This troper has never had a drink, but sometimes seriously considers trying alcohol and getting drunk enough to pass out. Why? Because her family is freakin' annoying! This troper is annoyed with her family 24/7 and can barely even function as a result of it! That's how bad it is!

[=*=]Tropers/{{Reflextion}} waves to his SeparatedAtBirth twin, then immediately takes a drink... of water*

This troper was a lightweight three years ago; couldn't even finish a wine cooler on my own. Then one day after a grueling day of moving furniture with a spectacularly disorganized crew, I came home, saw the bottle of cooking sherry on top of the fridge and, thinking of the burn accompanying said booze, said "you know, that is exactly what I need right now." I now understand the need to drink in response to stress.

I organize a LARP at my college. When I was on academic probation, I had to give the reigns to another person. He was very excited, and seemed to know what he was doing. I gave him control about three months before the convention. About a week before the con, I check in with him to see how he's doing. I then learned that he did not do any work on the dungeon, did not secure any volunteers to be the [=NPCs=] and planed on offering food to random con-goers in order to get enough people, insulted everyone who normally helped us, and finally did not secure any funds to actually build the dungeon. When I heard this I wandered away to the club's office, grabbed the two liter bottle of coke, and drank the whole thing down. It may not be alcohol, but the burn nulled the pain in my head enough for me to concentrate.

This booze-loving troper has moments like this a lot, the most recent of these occurring a minute or two ago as of this typing. He finished reading the Troper Tales page on {{Absurdly Youthful Mother}} (of all things) and promptly raided the fridge in search of a brewski even though he was certain he'd already grabbed the last one a couple nights ago. He pulled one out of a hat and is nursing it right now as he speaks.

This troper's friend is pretty strait-laced and pretty much never shaken by anything. But for the love of all that is holy, if he ''is'', he needs a drink five minutes ago.

This troper says this often. Thankfully, she hasn't yet found an alcohol she likes, because if she does, she'll probably turn into Samuel Vimes.