"Are you gay?" "No, I like men" and "Are you straight?" "No, I like women", for some reason, works wonders for me.

As a child, when crossed, this troper would interpret parental orders in the most boneheadedly literal way possible just to piss them off. It backfired somewhat, since that was likely one of the factors that led them to mistakenly believe I had Asperger's Syndrome.

So it was like Reverse HanlonsRazor?

...I never thought of it in those terms before, but, yeah, pretty much.

This Troper knew a boy who in the third grade literally shoved his own sock in his mouth when told to "Put a sock in it!". Despite the blatant attention-seeking behavior on the boy's part, hilarity ensued.

This Anonymous troper was in a lecture, where the Lecturer asked a student munching away on a doughnut... who is always munching on doughnuts infact... to put the doughnut away. The Student promptly took the most logical course of action to him and ate the bloody thing whole. Hilarity ensued.

This troper longs for the day when he can pull this off: "If you win, we do it your way. If you don't win, we do it my way." And having said that, I promptly pull off a tie and then read J. Unlucky Guy the fine print of that agreement.

Oh I get it, he didn't actually say "If I win".

Yeah, I see where this is going. The troper will be able to say he won because "J. Unlucky Guy" lost. A We Win Because You Didn't scenario.

Mom once told This Tropette she wasn't allowed to go outta home to play that day. She thought "Okay", and invited her friends to her home. It didn't end that well, since Mom tends to get irritated pretty easily, but it was fun anyways.

For "School Spirit Week", one of the days was "Twin Day", where everybody were supposed to pretend to be twins by dressing the same. This troper and his friend wore completely random stuff that didn't look remotely similar, and when questioned about it, noted that nobody ever said we had to be ''identical'' twins. Next year they closed the loophole.

Ah. For a day during ''my'' school's homecoming week, the theme was "Superheroes and Villains". I absolutely hate dressing up in costumes, not to mention that my family had given me a very small budget to work with. My solution? Dress as a superhero posing as a civilian.

Apparently, when this troper was one his father asked him to insert a card into a slot. Said troper tried to do so in a wrong angle, and when his father yelled at him to flip the card, he flipped it on the wrong axis. And he continued to flip on that axis a couple of times when his father continued to yell at him. His father never let him live it down afterwards.

This troper's grandfather, while in the army, was ordered to go with his squad to a named place and report back. A week later, he reported back - from the opposite end of the country from where he was supposed to go.

I don't get it. Is this an example because he wasn't told when to report back?

I think so. He was told to go to X location and then ''return'' to report back, but the return part was never explicitly stated.

This troper's parents were fond of telling her to "go play in traffic" when she got on their nerves. Strangely, they did not stop this habit even after the troper was hit by a car.

My teacher in a computing class wrote down everyone's individual usernames and passwords on paper slips, told us to guard them with our lives and eat them if we had to. So I did.

Being a closeted (for now) bisexual, if anyone asks me if I'm gay, I just say "no, I'm not". I don't ever say "no, I'm straight", because then I'd be lying. Luckily, nobody else ever seems to realise that bisexuals exist, so saying you're not gay is, to them, the same as saying you're straight. I'm planning on coming out at the end of this year (2010), because it's my last year of school -- which means I'll never have to deal with the bunch of immature bigots at my school ever again. I'm expecting quite a few surprised faces: I'm a good actor, basically everyone thinks I'm straight.

Both my mother and I are what I call "semantics people", so invoking this trope is a legitimate and accepted strategy for getting the other person to do what we want. It... doesn't work so well when I use it on other people.

Invoked a lot with one of my brothers friends. #QUOTE# "What's up?" #QUOTE# "The ceiling."

This troper can't be the only one who, when his parents said "no Nintendo for a week!", promptly started playing the '''Sony''' Playstation and feigning surprise/bewilderment when his parents got mad.

This troper actually met a guy once who, when trying to persuade her to go out with him, said, "I'll take you places you've never been." She agreed to a date, and when she pointed out that all he did was take her to a pub - and not a particularly nice one at that - he replied, "Yeah, I figured you'd never been in here before."

This troper is almost incapable of lying. Same with cursing, actually. He can't keep a straight face, and sometimes can't even speak if he tries to do either. He invokes this trope to get around this. He tends to be somewhat prolix as a result. For example, when asked if he had finished his math homework, he said "I just finished the last problem". Meaning, he had done only the last problem on the list. The other forty-seventy problems? Hell no. I'm not doing them for very legitimate reasons. Still got a B in that class, actually.

People I owe money to often learn not to piss me off, or at least learn to include wording in the agreement specifying I can't pay them back in pennies this time. In fact, my motto in life is, "Don't get mad, get even. Preferrably in some way that makes 'em wish their wording was narrower and more specific."

A common thing this troper does, as well as the rest of her family, does when asking for something. For instance, if asked, "May I have a couple of french fries,"the asker will be given 2 french fries.

No, but you didn't say you wouldn't link it for us either.