My brother said I was, "Sleeping around alot" he meant actually sleeping for an extended period of time. I didn't have the heart to correct him.

This Troper was chatting with a friend: ->'''Friend''': well there went all my sexual interest on NostalgiaChick ->'''Friend''': she doesn't shave her hmm whats the word ->'''Me''': ... ->''A moment's pause.'' ->'''Friend''': IM NOT TALKING ABOUT THE VAGINA ->'''Friend''': What's the thing under your arm ->'''Me''': Armpit? ->'''Friend''': Armpit! Yes, armpit!

From a roleplay: "Hey, little boy, want to play with my faucet?" #QUOTE# It was a lead faucet-pipe, and the little boy was a mad scientist. The really embarrassing part was that ''my mom'' was the one to point out how wrong that sounded.

This Troper and his friends do these ''all the time.'' We could be chatting, and one of us'll say something perfectly ordinary...only it doesn't sound that way. For example: One of my friends ate a lot of those push-up sorbet things at school; you know, the orange-green-red ones in the black wrapping? One day, they didn't have any of those, so she got a push-up fudge swirl ice cream instead. She was eating it, when she stops. #QUOTE#'''Friend:''' "I like the black ones better."

This troper, being relatively clean-minded for someone who spends rather a lot of time on the internet, does these frequently when speaking to her(more dirty-minded) best friend. Observe, for instance: #QUOTE# "I am your RP slave for the day!"

My father set the rest of the family up for one of these. We were watching TV in their bedroom, and Dad suggests heading downstairs on the next commercial because it's so hot up there, he was working up a sweat just folding laundry, "and there's only one thing in a bedroom that should work up a sweat." We start cracking up, and he continues, "I was talking about wallpaper. I don't know what ''you'' were thinking."

This troper was talking to somebody she had just met and was hitting it off with, and somehow they got onto the subject of first kisses. #QUOTE#'''Him''': Are you a good kisser? #QUOTE#'''Troper''': I don't know, I mean, I've kissed my hand, but your hand feels different sensations than other parts of your body... #QUOTE#''(awkward silence)''

This troper has one too many in her school life, here are the best of the bunch: #QUOTE#* One time the tropers friends where talking abou the title of their spanish books, and it dawned on me that Taco El Grande would make a good name for a rock band, then later I realized the double endree. #QUOTE#* another time, they where building tops out of kinext parts, and a male classmates top wobbles and vibrates, what does the troper blurt out for its name, The Vibrator, realizing what she said was wrong she tries to make the boys forget about what she said, and they still bug her about it. #QUOTE#* Finally, its been going on since grade school, when she drew a picture of a waterfall for her grade school princepal, the waterfall was called "Viagra Falls"

This troper uses the phrase 'I'll do you next, okay?' a lot whenever she photographs different people, paints faces etc, much to the amusement of her perverted friends (pretty much all of them).

Two people in a Skype call started making poffins on Pokemon, apparently everything they said sounded dirty, I didn't notice it until they seemed to purposely make innuendos.

This troper and his ex-girlfriend were at one point (while they were still going out) trying - and failing - to send a music video across MSN. The resultant discussion could pretty much word-for-word have been about impotence.

In ThisTroper's marching band, all of the band memebers have clear plastic sleeves with cords that hang around our necks that contain our drill instructions. For whatever reason, our band directors call them "wangs". I didn't get it either.

A (particularly batshit insane) theology teacher at my high school described Communion thusly: "When you eat the host, Jesus comes inside you." No wonder Catholic school drove me to atheism.

This troper's '''mother''' personifies this. Two particularly telling occasions, one was on a drive to Michigan to look at houses. We drove past a Hooters... and the mother started hooting like an owl. Cue my father, while laughing insanely, telling my mother what that meant. Cue NeverLiveItDown. The second one was her with my older sister. She just started singing ''Afternoon Delight'', to my sister's utter mortification. Mom's response: "It's a pretty song!" Good grief...

This Troper cannot use the words "do" or "it" around my friend. Nor can I describe something's size. No exceptions.

Happens an awful lot with the choir I sing in. The median age of that group is around 50, so we're grownups... for the most part.

We were setting up to play RockBand, and the drum stool needed to be adjusted, so one of us went to get something to fix it with. Upon his return, someone else announced "Shaun's got a tool to fix your stool!", to much laughter. As it turned out the girl who said this didn't immediately get it - the rhyme on a dime was intentional, but not the innuendo.

I'm absolutely horrible about this. Everything I say can and has been sexualized. No exceptions. ->Me: So, I'm celebrating my birthday at my house with my girlfriend... ->Me: No, it has to be pointing straight (regarding a video game) ->Me: So, if you suck up all of the fluids, you get bonus points?

This Troper was in Music Appreciation class watching a movie about jazz, during which Louis Armstrong was very upset that he and his non-segregated band weren't allowed to play in a music hall in New Orleans. His words, slightly paraphrased: "It never used to be a problem, no matter what their skin color, for a couple of cats to get together and blow!" Cue snorts from the slackers in the second row. And This Troper.

An entire discussion in class on how to '''strip''' . Wires. FacePalm. Many of the guys began saying that they already knew how to strip. The kid sitting next to this troper began humming Chippendales-type music, while pretending to take his shirt off. Wall banger.

This makes up half of the stuff that this troper says to her boyfriend.

ThisTroper (who has a tendency to overuse BuffySpeak) was shopping with a friend and said she needed to go look at the "men's hangy-things". Pretty sure I really meant "ties" or "T-shirts" and couldn't think of the word. Needless to say I got some ''weird'' looks from my friend.

I was chatting with this guy, and thoroughly enjoying our conversation, so of course I informed him that I'd 'Like to see more of him sometime'. Said man got an anxious look on his face, and kind of raked his gaze over his lap and legs. Granted, he started laughing really hard after I hid my face behind my hands in mortification while stammering that I meant something else entirely...

I was having a discussion about fries with my boyfriend and somehow started teasing each other. Out came, "I'll eat YOUR fries." cue pause and me saying, "Everything sounds perverted given the proper emphasis." We spent the next few minutes saying stuff like, "I'll park in your spot.", "I'd like to taste your juice." and so forth.

This troper has an unfortunate knack for doing this, much to the amusement of this troper's two perverted friends. Take the case of my old maths teacher, who I missed. I said to them "I learnt so much under her". They wouldn't let me live it down for the rest of the day.

This troper once had a remarkably awkward discussion with a friend of hers. It went something to the effect of:

Friend: "I love the weapon designs in {{Hellsing}}!"

Me: "I know! The firearms are completely impossible, but their designs are so cool I can't stand it."

Friend: "I'd kill for a PVC figure of Alucard's pistol. '''It's big and black and long and I want it!'''" I still make fun of my (male) friend for that and have no intent of stopping anytime soon.

This troper remembers one time when a friend was talking to a rarther dirty minded man about her Rabbit. He clearly got the wrong idea so she played him along, telling him how it was a big black one and she played with it every night before bed. She also said about her other one, which was smaller and white. I picked up far quicker and played along too by expressing my shock and leading them both on. He was clearly getting quite turned on by it all. She went on to say how she had quite a few toys, and that if he ever visited her house she would show him them. Afterwards we debated (whilst he probably did something that sounds similar) if we should have mentioned that the small white rabbit is actually her brothers.

This troper played Yugioh cards once with her high school boy buddies. At one turn she picked an absolutely good card and squealed in joy. The boys stared at her and told her, "don't scream like that!" Some time after she learned what orgasm is and realized what those boys had heard from her.

This Troper's mom once thought she had Caught Him With His Pants Down, when in reality, he was playing a game on his Wii that required vigorous shaking of the nunchuk.

This troper was waiting for his friend outside the theater, since they were going to see a movie. After about 10 minutes, his friend showed up, quite late. ->Friend: I came as fast as I could. ->Me: No one wants to hear about your premature ejaculation problem.

I seem to have a knack for doing this, it doesn't help when one of my closest friends is even more perverted than ''I'' am.

This troper's one claim to fame is in being written into a "Janet and John" story, read by Sir {{Terry Wogan}} but in his current incarnation on Sunday afternoons. The fictional version of myself was helping out at a barbecue where John insisted on my trying out something that had the potential of sounding rather different than it actually was. Subverted in that the audience was all in on the joke and I'm extremely proud of this "achievement".

From our gaming table, as we were settling down for a game of DungeonsAndDragons with a female friend from out of town we play with every few months. ->Female Friend: So where should I sit? ->Male Friend: Come sit next to me! ->Me: You really want to keep her close, huh? ->Male Friend: Well, I always get lucky when I sit next to her.

This troper was having a conversation with her friend about skydiving, and one thing led to another, and we reached the conclusion that you really shouldn't skydive without clothing. Before thinking, this troper mentioned that, "You're right, we really shouldn't do it naked."

This (male) Troper was with some female schoolmates in the hall after school. He noticed that a small screw had come loose from the locker, but didn't know what to do with it. He then loudly and unthinkingly asked, "Anyone want a screw?" Cue the girls degenerating into a fit of laughter. (Thankfully, they knew him well enough that they knew he didn't mean the not-so-innocent sense.)

This troper loves to make competitions in which me and other friends try to avoid making those innuendos, he is generally the best at it. ''Generally''... Some examples :

In Latin classroom ->Girl, ''about our Latin lesson'' : We shouldn't be studying Roman Wars, we should be making love at that moment ! ->Me, ''deadpan'' : Could you please reformulate that ?

(Conversation held with a friend. I precise, we're both male and straight) ->Me : Why is it always me who's supposed to be in that position ? ->Friend : Always you ? It was my turn last time ! ->Me (still oblivious) : I'm telling you, it's your turn now ! ->Friend : Stop complaining ! It won't last long anyway, so... ->Me : Yeah, but it's... ! ''BeatPanel'' ->Friend : Wha... ? ''BeatPanel'' ->Me : Awkward. ->Friend : Yeah... Let's forget that. ->(We were talking about which seats we'd take in the school bus...)

This troper always says this without realizing a few seconds ''after'' she says it. The most recent one was this gem after a friend asked if he could borrow a pencil -> '''Me''': I'll give it to you upstairs This troper now wonders if her friend heard her say that...

This troper fell victim to this at least once, during second form (eighth grade) in high school, back when his mind was a lot cleaner. He was trying to describe the height of something to a male friend, and said "as tall as you on top of me" (meaning "as tall as you standing on my shoulders"). Cue raucous laughter from the bastards I had as classmates back then. What made it even worse was that I had to have the innuendo explained to me.

This Troper's band is ''rife'' with these. Hey, when we're supposed to practice blowing, fingering, and tonguing our instruments together...

This troper got a college letter from Carnegie Mellon that he is almost certain invoked this trope intentionally. The front cover is designed to look like a kilt. What does the first page say? "So you decided to take a peek under the kilt?"

Some friends of mine started a Facebook group called, "Life is fine when you 69." They were talking about an aircraft carrier, the USS Eisenhower (CVN-69), that they were deployed on.

I once overheard a friend talking to someone else, but I couldn't make out a word... other than something sounding a bit like "have sexual feelings for..." So I just has to ask if she actually did say that, but it turned out she didn't. We both started laughing over my perverted mishearing.

This troper has TONS of these moments. For example, once when asking a male friend about his house party: ->Troper:What time should i come over? ->Him: 2 o' clock ->Troper: ok, so how long is your thing gonna be? ->Other Random Male friend: 0_0 What are you guys talking about?? And another time, a couple of my friends were playing a game and without thinking, I decided to go up to them and say, 'Hey you guys need another player? We could do a threesome. No wait, THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT.' Cue laughter from my friends.

This troper tends to accidentally make erotic ''sounds'' accidentally. For example, during one French class, we were doing skits, and my friend was asking about one of the characters, to which I replied, "Oh, Bernard." in the most accidental erotic possible way. Cue shocked reaction from friend.

And from someone else the same troper knows, one of her guy friends said that he couldn't walk home with this one girl because he was going home with a male friend of his. I replied, "Oh, going home with him, how romantic~" (said other male friend tried to strangle me.) And to make matters worse better, the guy friend said, "Oh, it's gonna be super romantic, me and him, together at my house, alone, on the couch..." They were gonna play CallOfDuty.

This troper was at the second day of her new job, speaking to a coworker who she happened to become relatively fast friends with. We had had an earlier conversation about how hard candies kept us from getting bored (or too hungry), so later she offered me a piece that she had with her. The conversation went something like this... -> '''Co-worker:''' Would you like a piece of candy? All I have is espresso flavor, though. -> '''Me:''' Well, so long as it's hard and suckable-ah, crap... -> '''Co-worker:''' ''Stares.'' Haha! ''Bursts out laughing'' Hard and suckable...oh ''man'', you're not as innocent as you look, are you. -> '''Me:''' ''turning bright red'' That came out wrong...

In class: #QUOTE# (some people in the class leave to go to the bathroom) #QUOTE# Teacher: No, you can't go two at a time to the toilet, we aren't at a party! #QUOTE# (beat) #QUOTE# Class: *starts laughing* #QUOTE# Teacher: What? What did I say?

My literature class was adapting a screenplay for Antigone. We had to compress the original translation given to us into a 30-minute play. Of course, the writing and acting teams took a few liberties. One line was left almost unchanged, with just a simple pause added: #QUOTE# '''Creon:''' She (Antigone) will be stripped-- #QUOTE# '''Rest of the cast:''' *Shocked/Aroused reaction shots* #QUOTE# '''Creon:''' --of her rights!

My friend's pet name for me falls under this. Most people seem to think her calling me Honey Pants has something to do with oral sex when that has nothing to do with it. It actually comes me mistaking the pet name Honey Bear for Honey Pants. She thought it was hilarious so the pet name stuck.

This troper is under the belief that vocal instructors for choirs and the like do this as part of their jobs. One notable example was with a guest conductor, who insisted that we should 'hold our "men" at 69'being a lyric on bar 69 of that particular song. Or our regular conductor telling us that he liked minors.