This troper's Grandma. Hell, he's willing to bet he's hardly the only one.

Horseback riding at an age above 90 qualifies somebody's great-grandmother as a cool old lady, right?

This Troper's grandmother is a cool old lady--and not only that. but she is the youngest of several sisters who are ''all'' cool old ladies. When she was 10, she went on a roadtrip with them to the Grand Canyon, and her great-aunts cheerfully declared that they were an example of these and that she was their "mascot".

My great aunt at the last family reunion was 80, completely smashed on a 12 pack of beer, and still beating all of the younger men in the family at horseshoes.

This troper has watched her grandmother shoot down small hawks with a shotgun. At 6:00 in the morning. While still wearing her nightgown and slippers.

This troper loved his grandmother, but she was quite a terrifying woman. Emphysema patient, scoliosis, and hooked up to a portable oxygen tank. Some poor bastard had the misfortune of trying to mug her. She swung the oxygen tank, and gave the unfortunate soul a concussion. The jury got the laugh of their lives, and the grandmother never got convicted. To summarize, she could beat the crap out of unsuspecting victims, and no jury would convict her.

This troper's retired ex-English teacher grandmother sailed to Greece from England by herself... AFTER having a severe stroke that partially paralysed one arm and one leg. Been to every anti-war march since time immemorial. Once her house was burgled, and an ex-student was the policeman who came to take her statement--but his spelling was so atrocious she refused to sign it until he'd gone back to the station and fixed every error... which he then did. Has burned her own house down twice, wrecked another person's house once, and once climbed in through the second floor bathroom window when this troper's parents were sharing the tub, because she'd forgotten her keys. Top that. I dare you.

This troper has two grandmothers that qualify. One was the wife of a Marine Gunnery Sergeant, a world traveler, a baker, a painter, and just a lot of fun to be around. The other was an ex-lumberjack, smoked, drank, and wouldn't take shit from anyone, including one of her ex-husbands. The latter was also capable of miracles with a sewing machine to top it all off.

This Troper's great aunt was a commited communist, spoke fluent spanish (and lived in Madrid), and so identified with the country that she was a major part of the revolution against General Franco. She was a political prisoner under his regime, and was later freed when he fell. She wrote two books and was a national figure, as well as being married to one of the most hardcore men alive. Top that.

This troper's grandmother has had more boyfriends over the past few years than my sister has ever had. Did I mention that she has been caught speeding a number of times already?

My grandmother goes on 15 kilometer hikes. At age seventy-eight. Y'ever feel ashamed of how pathetic you are?

My gran was an officer in the Army during the Korean war... and still retains every bit of badassness. Also, she's married to a {{cool old guy}}.

One teacher that this Troper had was a cool old cat lady, of all things! She taught sixth grade English, and she was hilarious.

This troper's grandmother, having been born in a rural area in the southern U.S. and having survived the Great Depression and Spanish flu (and, despite having smoked for several decades before quitting, was alive up until June of 2010), has always been a stubborn and independent woman. Back in the late 1990s, she was having some problems with her house...may have been plumbing, or electrical, or what have you. Anyway, she goes out and crawls beneath the house so that she can find out what the problem is. While she was down there, water dripped onto this electrical wire (can't remember what it was from) and she got a good jolt for it, although she was able to shake it loose and get out from there. She said afterwards, "Next time I go down there, I'm bringing a flashlight." It's worth mentioning that she was in her late 80s by then, and legally blind...and she wasn't about to let that stop her.

This troper's Grandma has the distinction of being the only person I've ever had to tell "Please turn down the music. My ears hurt." I get strange looks, going into Hot Topic and saying "Oh look, those are the pants Gramma has!" We refer to her as a recycled teenager. She is also a cancer survivor.

This troper once saw a woman in her 70s win a knife fight.

This troper's Italian great-grandmother was in the hospital after a stroke, and a family member asked her what she had had for dinner. She replied, "Well, I don't know, but they CALLED it spaghetti." She lived for about 7 years after that, and passed away at her home at the age of 97.

This troper, while RIDIN' MY BIKE to my father's house, stopped at an intersection. A bit of a batty-looking old lady, on an equally old bike, stopped next to him. To his surprise, she inquired whether he could do it hands-free (he can't). As the last car pulled away, she winked and said "Because I used to kick ass at that!" She then biked away. Hands-free.

This troper's paternal grandmother was the bookish sort of Cool Old Lady. Though not very physically active, she was an excellent conversationalist, with a lively interest in everything. She even visited Expo 86 only two years before her death at the age of 106 (in a wheelchair, of course).

This troper's great-aunt is an 82 year old Irish nun who owns a motorcycle, can play the guitar, rock climb, and was once the Amateur Golf Champion of Ulster. She also once ripped off a man's chest hair in a bar fight before becoming a nun. She became the MemeticBadass of my family after making a joke about being able to fight ChuckNorris.

This troper's grandma fits the bill. She is 70 something years old, 5' 2", with a metal rod in her back, has replaced knees, and uses a cane and she can still nail 47 / 50 with her double-barrel 12 gauge that was old when she was a kid. She had to become one to deal with 5 kids (ex. my mother beat her brother over the head with a set of deer antlers, and they used to try to fit their youngest sister down the laundry chute). They have enough guns to start their own banana republic and they can outfish most anyone (not normal fish, big 6+ foot fish).

This troper's Grandma is 84, stands at 5'3", and generally just a very kind and sweet old lady. At least, until you mess with or hurt her grandkids or her dogs. Case in point: a rat got into the house, demolished a good part of the pantry, ate a hole in the quilt Grandma was working on, bit one of her dogs (Don't worry, she's fine.) and tried to bite Grandma (she was wearing shoes, thank heaven.) Now, grandma keeps some rat poison around, but did she use it? No, she chased it into the garage and applied sledgehammer. Grandpa has never yet patched the hole in the concrete.

My cello teacher does track at like 60 something. Wins every time because she's the only one in her age bracket.

This Troper's maternal grandmother. Universally liked by the family, knows CPR, saved a life at age 60, and raised 6 kids, including two millionares, two Badass Bookworms (including this troper's mom), a Genius Bruiser, and Engineer. Oh, and she could probably whoop your ass without breaking a sweat. Even with her disabled leg. Most of the time though, she's just sweet book-lover and seamtress.

Neither of Tropers/BTIsaac's grandmas fought in the war. However, his maternal grandmother was a forest ranger, and raised a pair of twins in the woods, while his paternal grandmother survived a grenade (but just because her dog got hit by the fragment that could've killed her othervise) and would briefly become the spiritual leader of her hometown when the priests were driven out by the communists. She was also highly intelligent, and still retained her wits even on her deathbed (well in her eighties). That's awesome.