Here's another certifiable nutcase to start us off:

The entire staff of the Computer Science department have declared war on each other. And what are they arguing about? Their new rooms in the Jack Cole building. I ask you. What happened was that Ron Morrison allowed them to choose individual rooms for themselves, but some wanted to group up together, creating warring factions who all want the offices on the side of the building with a view. Ishbel Duncan of Software Engineering has now been stuck between the two battling groups Theory and Architecture, and in her own words, it's like nursery school but worse because they use longer words.

Hopefully it will all blow over by Reading Week and we'll go back to complaining about practicals. The one I'm doing at the moment seems, in a surprising turn of events, to have some questions that are humanly possible.