This Troper's mother started watching SexAndTheCity when he was ''five'', but my mother would always censor whenever important. But everytime someone reaches fifth grade in my school, THIS is given. TO EVERY STUDENT. Boys and girls are separated, and when we get reshuffled (gender-segregation maintained, people), we even learn about the other system. Suprise!

Probably as good a subversion as any. I never got "the talk." My father only mentions sex when it comes up in a political scandal, and my mother ... never mentions it at all. I'm adopted, and before my parents talked about trying and failing to conceive children (when did this take place? At the Thanksgiving dinner table just a few years ago, when my cousins were asking something about me ... or something), I seriously wondered if they had ever had sex. Because the subject '''never''' came up, and the one time I ever heard my mother say the word, her voice cracked. How did I find everything out? Through my early middle-school classmates, though thankfully sex ed started a year or so after all the puerile jokes did. And thankfully Sunday School kept me from making mistakes that a number of my friends would end up making before high school was out. Praise God for that indeed ... so now I look up things on Wikipedia when I have questions. Or Urban Dictionary, though that's probably not wise. Or TV Tropes, to get a more "contemporary" description of the things people do.

This troper had a book of science-for-kids that had a section on human sex. On the one hand, it went beyond mere reproduction and mechanics of to describe the emotional side; on the other, it implied simultaneous orgasms are the norm.

I've been spared having to '''give''' the talk because the child isn't mine and isn't the same sex I am and I could legitimately make her mother do it.

My dad just gave me a copy of ''Backdoor Sluts 9'' and said "This should probably answer any questions you've got." kidding!!

Embarrassingly extensive sex ed classes at school allowed my parents to avoid this particular aspect of parenthood. Frankly, I'd rather the teachers just gave us a book rather than all the videos...

Are you me?

This troper was subject to sex ed in fifth and seventh grade, which meant that the parental talk was just, "Don't make a baby; don't get a disease."

This troper is a junior in high school and has not gotten the talk. Nor has her class ever gone through sex ed. We find it all rather hilarious, actually.

This (male) troper once had to give a short version of this to a (also male) friend (who I shall refer to as A) about ways that females can... enjoy themselves. At one point during high-school me and A ended up in a room with a group of girls, one of whom had just downloaded an I-phone app that made her phone vibrate. Another one then took the phone and pretended to give a demonstration of a potential use for the new app. While they were laughing at this, A asked this troper (who is apparently more informed about these things) what they were supposed to be demonstrating, an awkward explanation ensured.

High School?! What the hell? Isn't that a tad bit too late to find out about stuff like this?

Apparently a child must be protected from the thought of sex until they are in their late teens. even the most liberal and enlightened of people on the internet know this. Try stating otherwise without being labeled a pedophile.

This single-mother-raised lone child troper actually read his mother's {{NSFW}} magazines as a child. Learned about sex before even asking where the babies come from.

This female troper's Talk came in the form of a somewhat-but-not-really kid's book on anatomy. It answered all my questions and I couldn't bring myself to use a single phrase in the book for years.

This female troper was on sixth grade, when I found a book titled ''Where do babies come from.'' from the school's library. Fortunately, I already knew about that subject because of really dirty friends, but I can tell that book was greatly disturbing. Yeah, it tried to be kid-friendly and cartoonish, but at the same time ''it seemed to have half of Kama-Sutra placed on it, with whole pages nothing more than showing different sex positions''. You know, for kids!

Subverted with ThisTroper's mother along with subverted FridgeHorror (which became HilariousInHindsight for him). When he asked the inevitable question about "where babies come from," his mother (a pharmacist and something of a CloudCuckoolander), with absolutely no hesitation, gave him the actual full-on biology lesson with crude pictures and everything. Being 8 at the time, it went completely over his head. He's also a guy that learned how to masturbate ''long'' before even learning what masturbate even meant.

Averted with this troper because she never got TheTalk. I just got an age-appropriate book thrown at me when I was around 11. I'd already figured out where babies came from after reading some children's book on the human body when I was 7. Everything else about sexuality, I learned off the internet. (No, not those websites!) Now, as a young adult in college, my friends who aren't quite as knowledgeable about these things always seem to come to me when they have questions.

As far as this troper can remember, she just got a book given to her. She basically knew about it before Sex. Ed. in her last year of primary school. Then she came across the word "bondage" in a magazine when she was 13. Squick (and subsequent Squee) followed.

None of the kids in my family got this, because by the time we were old enough, we were already aware of exactly what sex was, how it worked, and why we should be careful about it. I, especially, had no need to be told, because I somehow managed to read the entire ''ClanOfTheCaveBear'' series without my mom realizing it. The series that is 30% palientological/sociological speculation, 20% drama, 10% romance, and 40% pure, graphic, kinky sex.

...this troper was given one of the books in that series at a young age, by her mother, who had no clue about the contents. She didn't need to ask about much after that. O.O

This troper's mother intentionally gave the series to her at age 12, said that she 'thought Auel had stopped writing sex scenes' when asked a few weeks later, and then, a few years later? Said that it was entirely intentional.

@/BTIsaac was quite aware of human reproduction in his early years. One of the biggest mysteries I was trying to solve was how the heck does a sperm cell get from the male to the female. Granted I've been diagnosed as 'super genius' with an IQ test, at the age of 4, so it didn't took long to work out a hypothesis, which I found rather ridiculous because it required the two subjects to undress in front of each other. Then came the biology classes in 7th grade (I was 13), and much to my surprise, my assumptions were confirmed. Then 2 years later I started watching porn.

This Troper's parents never gave her the talk. They just left books with titles like ''Our Sexuality'' and ''Passion Power Pleasure'' lying around in the hopes she'd read them.

This troper and her (four years younger) brother both suffered through the requisite classes. Both of us being rather mature for our age, I bluntly told him, "If you've got any questions about real-world sex as opposed to Health-land sex, just ask." Suffice it to say that our parents were spared from that painful duty.

This Troper was thankfully spared having that talk with his parents. Being placed in a split class in Grade 4 meant he got sex ed a year earlier than expected. Thus, when his parents attempted to have the Talk with him, he just brushed it off.

This Troper discovered his parents' copy of ''The Joy of Sex''. He thinks they were purposely taking advantage of his natural curiosity and love of books, seeing as it was stashed in a place that he couldn't reach until he was eleven. This troper plans to do the same with his children.

This troper was in a roleplay where a fifteen-year-old girl asked her friend how people got pregnant. He settled talking about cells, then ended with, "And then they, like, join and crap. The cells do. One's called a sperm cell, and it joins with the woman's egg cell, and then nine months later there's a baby..." It may or may not be worth mentioning that said friend was deep in denial about his feelings for the girl.

My parents, liberal as they are for Indians, are still pretty embarrassed about this stuff. Luckily for them, they left it up to the school which gave us rather detailed videos about the effects of puberty. Even then, it was still vague about certain aspects. I didn't actually understand the mechanics of the thing until I unintentionally clicked on an M-rated fic. Needless to say, I'm screwed when it comes to the real thing (luckily, our health class in high school's pretty good about being thorough).

My mother gave me the sex talk when I was 9 and read the Diary of Anne Frank. ("Why did the women only get pregnant when they were housed with the men?") But when I was 14, my father discovered a joke pamphlet on my computer about 1800s sex, took it seriously and gave me a horribly awkward talk about consideration and foreplay before I finally figured out why he thought I needed to know that.

This troper's parents never bothered to give her the talk, and thanks to grade school sex ed she never had to ask about anything. Her Biology teacher, however made fun of this trope in class during the unit on reproduction: "Now kids, you see, when a man and a woman love each other very much... they SCREW."

This troper's mother told her about it in vague detail when she first asked, aged three. Kids science books with a couple of pages dedicated to reproduction gave me more detail, although nothing emotional, but I never actually thought about it again until I hit puberty aged eight. I tended to ignore the stuff my classmates said since the few facts I had enough knowledge to check on turned out to be hopelessly wrong. And, well, there was the Internet.

This Troper never really got the talk either. Her parents were pretty open, though, and answered her questions about it. She had Sex Ed in 6th, 8th, and 9th grades, which was just about [=STDs=] and condoms. Then came the Internet... aah, this troper will never forget her first R-rated fanfic.

This Troper doesn't remember the talk, because he got it before starting grade school, complete with being read the relevant chapters from his mother's medical textbooks. One of this troper's earliest memories is, in fact, a picture of a fetus in said medical textbook.

I never got the talk...from my parents. I had sex ed, and that was okay. I knew the basics. Then I met a friend of my older sister, who was obsessed with Yaoi and had great fun telling me all about gay sex and other such things. Also, general reading helped me fill in any gaps I had in my knowledge. Literally, the only thing I don't really know anything about is Lesbian Sex, and that's because I can't exactly ask without people jumping to conclusions.

This Troper is seventeen and has never has The Talk. (Then again, the fact that her parents won't date because [according to her dad, and, yes, she actually she bothered to write down his exact quote] "When you’re stuck with one person, you don’t have any more friends, basically." Yes. Yes, indeed.) She knew about the ol' stick-up-the-hole since elementary school (How did she learn? ''TheSimpsons''?), but didn't know what an erection was until she was fourteen (thank you, fanfiction porn). Eighth-grade and ninth-grade science provided her with the rest—that is, knowledge of [=STDs=] and babies are made. (Did you know that if it burns when you pee you might have AIDS?) So yeah. This Troper's sexual education, in a nutshell. Which leaves her with other interesting questions, however—how does one (well, two), precisely, ''have'' sex? You undress each other, you stimulate each other, and then. . .what? Does it really take that long to simply thrust a penis in and out, in and out? And why, by RandomNumberGod, does it take up so many calories?

Well think about running. It doesn't take many calories to put one foot in front of the other, but if you want to go somewhere, you're going to do it a lot. And the destination doesn't matter as much as the journey.

This troper's mother has always been very, very open to this troper about sex and relationships, so it's not so much a talk as multiple talks. Neither side has been particularly squicked by it.

my parents tried, i'm the third in my family, so they've done it for both my siblings, however due to circumstances, they were 8 and 9 respectively with at least 7 years between them. i was 12. the "talk" didn't get anywhere, just talked about the monthly cycle, i learned about sex off of a misc-mash TV, Wikipedia, my job at a food court, and the school bus. funny memory though, asking my brother in broad daylight in the middle of town, with everyone around what a vag was.

Mercifully averted for this troper. Nah, when I was twelve, I was handed down a computer after an upgrade, recieved the internet, and through natural osmosis through fanfiction, I picked it up. Before college though, my older sister gave me this crash course: "Use a condom, use a condom, use a condom, use a condom, use a condom, use a condom, make sure you and your partner know where your relationship will go from here, use a condom, use a condom, if that fails, get her morning after pills or take her to the clinic, don't pick up drunk girls, that's creepy, the vaginal orgasm is a myth, it's all about the clitoris, use a condom, use a condom, and to use a condom.

This troper never got the straight talk from anyone, and since I went to a christian school, the eighth grade sex ed was mostly bible verses dictating why to wait for marriage and why homosexuals are performing an abomination (with an endorsement from exodus international, one of the biggest "ex-gay" camps.) Before that, however, when I was hitting puberty, and already had a vague idea what it was about, I decided to look into books. But not age appropriate books, I turned to college level medical encyclopedias and books from the library. By the time I was 14, I knew every normal genital erogenous zone by the technical name, what made them erogenous, how they formed in gestation, and how to properly stimulate them. For both sexes. And knew detailed information about various [=STDs=], safer sex practices, and contraceptive products and procedures. And had read up on a college textbook on human sexuality. None of this is a lie or an exaggeration.

I can't remember ever getting "the talk" from either of my parents when I was a child. My father's bits and pieces of advice on the subject came during the latter half of my teenage years, and basically amounted to "If you're going to screw a girl, use a condom." By then, I had long since been exposed to porn (Penthouse, Playboy, video-cassettes and [=DVDs=], and the World Wide Web), and lost my virginity to an ex-girlfriend at age 16 (the age of consent in Jamaica). Fortunately, I'd also been exposed to books on sex which were aimed at teenagers (''The Compleat Tween'' by Nancy Van Pelt sticks out in my memory), so I knew enough to be responsible about sex. Also, in recent years, I've dedicated myself to abstinence until marriage due to going back to my Christian roots.

Parodied by my friend. I said, "How the hell are people playing ''MarvelVsCapcom3'' before it's even out?" and his response was, "Well, when a man and a woman love each other very much, they have a baby, and that baby grows up to be an asshole. And so he ends up being a critic, and he gets early copies of games so he can critique them."

This Troper never got "The Talk" when she was little; she was a bright young child who figured out quite a bit on her own through reading on her own. Friends at school helped. When I hit fourth grade, my parents threw a pretty graphic book at me called "Where Did I Come From?" even though I secretly knew more than the book would tell me, haha.

I was nine when I got the talk. Before that, I'd always wanted a little sister and I'd believed that women got pregnant sort of like how you get a cold. I used to drop hints to my mom, but she either didn't get it, or just ignored me. Then my dad was diagnosed with brain cancer. I didn't understand the severity of the situation, so one day, when my mom told me that Dad's doctor had declared him tumor free (temporarily), I asked her right out if I could have a baby sister. That's how I got the talk, and how I learned that I'd be an only child forever.

I was schooled on this by my parents as a kid, even before elementary school. They actually didn't even know how to tell me, so they bought a children's book that taught it. Because of this, I turned into a type 2 for my sex-ed classes in Elementary and Middle school. I think it's because of this I'm very likely to make sex jokes, and much more stoic when it comes to talking about the different organs in my health and science classes. What's ironic about all this knowledge is that I'll never need it myself. I'm {{Asexual}}.

This troper's aunt and uncle attempted to give my cousin this talk just before they got divorced. When his uncle said, "Sex is what a mommy and a daddy do when they love each other very much," his cousin pointedly answered, "but you don't!"

This troper, like all the others, never had The Talk from her parents; instead, she, along with another friend of hers, found out the most basic component of sex from her nine-year-old best friend at a sleepover: "Hey, did you know that to get a girl pregnant, a guy has to stick his penis into her uterus?" (Actually, not entirely accurate, but c'mon. She was nine, after all.) I may have had some vague idea of what that was before then, but my friend's statement was what brought it to my attention. After that, osmosis sort of occurred at school and from the Internet, but I worried about how my younger brother would find all this out, until he soon told me the ol' "How do you fit four gay guys on a stool?" joke, and I realized that his friends had told him ''everything''.

This troper never got the talk either. Instead he had learned from one of his father's secret stash tapes. Well it wasn't quite secretive since it was in a shelf with the other tapes. What was said tape he watched labeled? "Michael's[Me] First Birthday". Yeah.

This troper never really got the talk from parents. The school had opted to show the pregnancy video first instead of the sex ed talk (every painful minute of that delivery, from THAT angle too), so you can pretty much imagine how much the cohort looked foward to sex.

This troper instigated the talk when she flat out asked her mother, "Hey mom, what's sex?" and she explained things quite well. My parents were both raised in households where the talk was equivalent to "Just don't get pregnant/get anyone pregnant, ok?" Needless to say, they wanted my siblings and I to be far more informed than just that, so they've always been very open about answering any questions about sex. (Averting both Type One and the stereotype that Christians/religious people don't adequately explain sex)

My parents weren't nervous or mortified in the slightest when my brother and I were old enough for "The Talk". In fact, I don't remember either of us ever asking about it and it was my ''mum'' who decided to by us a children's book explaining where babies come from; up until that point I don't think I was even aware of sex as a concept at all (I was six) and I apparently wasn't interested in where babies come from. Although, in year one I supposedly knew what pregnancy was... hmm. We learnt the more complicated stuff in year 5/6/7/8/9 (they did it EVERY year, God knows why) but I was already aware of the basics by that point.