This Troper does not choose sides with rival fan shippings- she goes for threesomes.

This troper's dad is convinced that there are only usually two answers for anything, either a positive or a negative, and gets bloody pissed when I refuse to choose between his two answers.

This Troper was invited to his best (male) friend's girlfriend birthday party and to his romantic interest birthday party, on the same day, on opposite areas of the city. Instead of going to one of the parties and getting the scorn of either his friend or the girl, he chose not to go to either party, staying at home working.

Earning the scorn of both?

This Troper was told, in her very first essay this year, to apply an assigned quote to a book that her class was told to read over the summer. Looking at the quote and the book, she realized that there was no way you could apply the quote to the book. So she took a third option and wrote an entire essay pounding in the fact that the quote did not apply. She got a 98.

This troper was asked by a Twilight loving friend: "Team Edward or Team Jacob?" before the last book came out. Her response? "Team Feminism/Self-Respect." Yeah, she's in the Hatedom.

This troper prefers "Team Guy Who Almost Hit Bella With His Bus."

And this troper prefers "Team Tyler's Bus." At least I think that's his name, I don't know for sure, I didn't read the book or watch the movie.

Even if he's not a character in the Twilight series, this troper has decided he'll form Team Van Helsing in response to all this Twilight idiocy.

I'm with "Team Vampires Aren't Supposed To Sparkle For Fuck Sake."

For this Troper, it's Team Edward Elric/Eduard von Bock.

This Troper thinks that Team Edward ScissorHands is the winning side.

This troper goes with Team Belmont and Team Ragna.

Why not Team Duke and Team Doomguy in the mix, as well?

This troper repeatedly did this in middle and high school. Most of the teachers were not impressed. Come college, however, and most professors have been.

This troper has had the same experience. Philosophy major, too?

Psychology, actually. Although, I do have a strong interest in philosophy.

Your captain was once asked by a friend, "''TheDarkSideOfTheMoon'' or ''TheWall''?" He answered, without hesitation, "''Wish You Were Here''."

One time in english class we got an assignment to write about "what would you do if you were on a plane that crashed in the desert?". Everyone either picked "wait at the crash site until help arrives" or "try to look for help". Except for one girl who pretty much wrote that in the first night she will kill all other survivors to have all supplies for herself an cannibalize their bodies, set everything she doesn't need on fire as a help signal until a millionaire in his private jet lands to pick her up who she then marries only to eventually kill him as well and get away with all his money.

How would you land a private jet in the desert?

I'll just use the back button on my browser.

Ditto

I'll use a mouse gesture.

Alt + Left Arrow, amirite?

Backspace.

Closing the tab.

Alt + F4.

Hit the "random" button.