I'm afraid I've got some bad news, boys. Undeterred by their track record over the last fifty years or so, some Americans have decided to wheel out their world-renowned powers of adapting British television again and are doing a version of Top Gear that's to be broadcast on The History Channel for some reason.
There have been rumours about this for a long time, but having not heard about it for a while, I thought some sensible person involved with the project had gone "No, let's just leave it alone - clearly the British do everything much better, so let's start showing the UK version in its entirety rather than the edited-down cut-up version that we fob them off with just now.". But after a period of silence, a trailer for an adaptation starring some people you've never heard of, some jeans and two dazzling chequered shirts has emerged - you're welcome to draw your own conclusions.
I found out about this thanks to a preview that we saw in the cinema, where we had actually gone to see Red. I hadn't ever heard of the graphic novel that it was based on, but it's basically about a group of balding men and HM the Queen on the run from the CIA - they come after Bruce Willis, forgetting that he's Bruce Willis and can beat everyone up easily with bad Photoshop powers on his side.
It wasn't quite as hilarious as I had been expecting from the concept - the highlight comes somewhere in the middle where there's a nicely impossible part involving batting grenades back to the thrower with a rifle and shooting a rocket in mid-air, but it's still worth watching to see Helen Mirren with a Gatling gun.